THE RACE FOR TESTICLES
STARRING DURRIE HASSAN AND TA FEI KAY

ONE DAY THIS MAN ON THE RIGHT (ANDREW)  DECIDED LIFE WAS NO LONGER WORTH LIVING. HE HAD ACCIDENTALLY ZIPPED HIS JUMPER UP TOO FAR AND HIS PENIS HAD BEEN CAUGHT IN IT AT THE SAME TIME. THIS RENDERED HIM USELESS IN BED, NOT THAT HE WAS ANY GOOD BEFORE BUT NOW HE WAS WORSE. HIS TESTICLES WERE STILL THRIVING WITH SPERM THOUGH. HE DECIDED TO HAVE A BIT OF FUN AND GIVE THEM AWAY TO SOME LOSER WHO NEEDED THEM. 

CANDIDATE NO. 1:
HIS NAME IS (JK) TA FEI KAY. HE IS FOUND HERE SKIING IN NEW ZEALAND IN DIRE NEED OF BALLS TO INCREASE HIS PERFORMANCE WITH THE TREES AND SNOW. A DEFINITE CANDIDATE AND RATED 10/10 ON THE 'DIRE NEED FOR TESTICLES LIST.'

CANDIDATE NO. 2:
THIS IS DURRIE HASSAN. A MAN WHO IS ALSO FOUND ON THE SKIING EXPEDITION. WHILE SKIING IN THE BLACK SLOPES THAT MME. WINDSOR TOLD HIM NOT TO GO ON, HE DID NOT SEE A BRANCH THAT SNAGGED HIS BALLS. HE LAY THERE ON THE SNOW WITH HIS SCROTUM RIPPED OPEN. WHEN THEY FOUND HIM, HE HAD MADE 2 SNOW BALLS AND TRIED TO REPLACE THEM. THEY MELTED.

ANDREW DECIDED TO MAKE THEM HAVE A RACE TO SEE WHO HAD THE LEAST BRAINS AND THE BIGGEST LOSER POTENTIAL. AROUND THE CORNER WAS A TUBE RACE WHICH HAD A GOOD CHANCE OF SHOWING THE QUALITIES (?) THAT HE WANTED TO SEE.
AFTER LOOKING AT EACH OF THEM, ANDREW DECIDED THAT IT WAS GONNA BE PRETTY HARD TO CHOOSE THE BIGGEST LOSER. IF HE HAD GONE ON FREAKY LOOKING, THEN JK WOULD HAVE WON STRAIGHT AWAY. OH WELL...... THE RACE WAS ON.

DURRIE DECIDED TO TEST OUT THE SLOPE AND PUSHES OFF THE TOP IN A CHINKY COLOURED TUBE. THE RESULT IS A VERTICAL DROP OF 2M. HE LANDED ON HIS ASS AND THE TEMPORARY PING PONG BALLS HE WAS USING, WENT STRAIGHT TO THE BACK OF HIS ASS. A VERY "BOUNCY" AFFAIR.

TA FEI KAY DECIDED THAT THE EASIER SLOPE WAS A BETTER CHOICE AND THAT DURRIE 'S DESCISION FOR A 2M DROP WAS ABSOLUTELY FUCKED UP. "JK IS IT!" HE CRIED AS HE JUMPED ONTO HIS TUBE AND SLID DOWN THE EASIER SIDE OF THE RACE COURSE. (JK IS A PUSSY IS IT?)

AND OFF THEY WENT. BOTH COMPETING FOR THE BALLS OF THEIR LIFE. AS THEY LEFT THE STARTING GATE, DURRIE LET OUT A LOUD NOISE HE CLAIMED TO BE "GAS PROPELLATION FUEL." I THINK IT WAS MORE COMMONLY KNOWN AS A "WET FART."

ONCE AGAIN DURRIE DECIDED THAT A 2M DROP WOULD MAKE THE "GAS PROPELLATION FUEL" WELL WORTH IT. HE WAS RIGHT. JK TOOK THE CHICKEN SHIT WAY AS HIS BUTT HUNG OUT OF HIS PANTS. DURRIE SCREAMED LIKE A GIRL AS HE SHOT OVER THE DROP, LANDING IN STYLE (WELL IF U CALL HIS FORHEAD STYLE) AND SKIDDED HIS WAY TO THE FINISH LINE. THE FRICTION BURNS WAS A CHANGE FROM THE USUAL CARPET BURNS FOR DURRIE. JK SAT IN THE CORNER AND SULKED AS DURRIE RECIEVED THE TESTICLES. JK NOW RESIDES IN MALAYSIA WHERE BIG BALLS ARE NOT THAT COMMON. DURRIE HAS BEEN SENT TO REHABILITATION FROM CONSTANT "STABBING THE CAT" ACTION DUE TO THE NEW IMPROVED BALLS..

CLICK ON THE BUTTON TO RETURN TO THE KENNEL