(Camera fades on the SEWF logo, it spins and explodes to reveal Stylin' Steve Chen sitting at the broadcast location.)
Stylin' Steve Chen: It's time for the one, the only, the best mothership on the air. That's right the SEWF is coming back at ya with another card full of bone crunching, spine tingling, action. I feel privileged almost to be able to bring it to ya. We have the first title defenses for the newly crowned champs here in the SEWF along with a little first round tag team tourney action......I'm getting some news that Thunder Rider is out in the parking lot and some type of altercation has taken place. Can we get a camera there? Ok, here ya go.
As they switch to the camera, we find Thunder Rider and the remote crew rushing from the building to find a bloody Destroyer, unconcious on the ground, a chair beside him. A few feet away, we see the Texas Assasin running away.
THUNDER RIDER: Oh my gosh! This is terrible! Poor Destroyer! Oh the humanity!
EMTs and the New Horsemen rush out to help Destroyer as we cut back to Stylin' Steve
SSC: Destroyer looks to be in bad shape! Was that THE TA or an imposter? Will this blow up later in the program? Stay tuned to find out. Let's get started with 2 of the prime time tag teams in the SEWF. To the ring!
TAG TEAM TOURNEY FIRST ROUND
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Anson Dred/Air Jackson vs. Total Elimination
Anson and Air come out confidently to meet Total Elimination in a first round match. Saturn started against Anson with a lock up. Anson forced Saturn into the turnbuckle and gave him a couple big open hand slaps that the crowd reacted big time to. Anson whipped Saturn across the ring and followed in with a huge splash. Saturn staggered out of the corner and Anson hit the opposite ropes to connect with a bulldog. Anson did a little celebrating and dragged Saturn over to his corner to tag in Air Jackson. Air came in and set Saturn up on the top turnbuckle. Air went up with him, but Saturn pushed him hard to the mat. Saturn waited to catch his breath and came off with a double ax handle that connected with Air Jackson. Air stumbled and Saturn sent him down with a running lariat. Saturn then went to his corner and tagged in Kronus. Kronus came in and gave AJ a few stomps the head before picking him up and whipping him into the ropes. Kronus attempted a drop kick, but AJ held on to the ropes. AJ then tagged Anson back in and the big man headed right for Kronus. Kronus was hit with a few big right hands and fell down. Anson stomped a mudhole in him and dragged him over to the ropes. He began to choke Kronus on the middle rope and the ref made him break it. Anson whipped Kronus in and nailed him with a shoulder block. Anson ran back, hopped over Kronus, ducked under Kronus, and connected with a big powerslam. The big man lumbered over to his corner and tagged in AJ. Aj set Kronus up on the top rope and went up to meet him. After a little acrobatic work, AJ hitched Kronus and suplexed him off the top rope with a giant Superplex! AJ made the cover but only got a 2 count. AJ tagged in Anson who again hitched up Kronus. AJ cut off Saturn as he attempted a run in and Dred connected with his big Dredded Drop. Kronus was out as the ref counted the 1-2-3.
WINNERS: Anson Dred/Air Jackson via Dredded Drop by Dred
SSC: Anson and Air pick up the upset. After their comments stating that if they don't win the titles, they will leave town for good, this entire tourney is gonna be a must win situation for these 2 men. Can they keep it going? Only time will tell. We're ready for another tourney match, here we go!
Youngbloods vs. Spyder/Bishop
The Youngbloods, represented here by Shining Stinger and Shining Scorpion make their way to the ring first, after some last-minute advice from Dynamite Dave. They get intot he ring, and wait as Bishop and Spyder make their way down the aisle as well. After a brief converation, Stinger starts the match off with Spyder, the US champ. Both teams are fan favorites, so the crowd is neutral. Stinger gains the advantage early on, with some chops to Spyder's chest. He then whips Spyder off the ropes, and on the way back, catches him in a fireman's carry and drops him onto the mat. Stinger then picks up Spyder, and drags him by his hair over to the Shining's corner, where he rams Spyder's head into Scorpion's boot. Then, Spyder fights back by elbowing Stinger in the jaw, but Stinger quickly regains the edge by ramming Spyder's head into a neutral turnbuckle. Stinger then whips Spyder off the ropes, and goes for a clothesline, but Spyder ducks, and on the way back, gives Stinger a clothesline of his own. Spyder goes for the quick cover, 1.., kick out. Stinger then stuns Spyder with a headbutt to the jaw. Stinger tries to capitalize by charging at Spyder, but Spyder gives him a big back drop, and then goes over and tags in Bishop. Bishop rushes at Stinger, and hits him with a big clothesline. Bishop then tries to drop an elbow on the fallen Stinger, who rolls out of the way, and tags in Scorpion. Scorpion, the fresh man, goes in, and begins to do some damage to Bishop. Scorpion hits him with a series of chops, and then suplexes Bishop to the mat. He picks him up, bounces him off the ropes, and on the way back, knees him in the stomach. Bishop is gasping for air, and Scorpion goes for the cover, 1..,2.., kick-out. Scorpion then tags Stinger, and the two proceed to pound on Bishop until the ref makes Scorpion leave the ring. Stinger conntinues the relentless punishment with a huge piledriver. Bishop appears to be in a great deal of pain, as Spyder tries to encourage him to make the tag. Stinger covers him, 1.., 2.., shoulder up. Stinger then whips Bishop into the ropes, and charges after him. But when Stinger goes for the avalanche, Bishop falls out of the way, and Stinger hits hard on the turnbuckle. Both men crawl to their corners to try and make the tag. Stinger gets to tag Scorpion first, and Scorpion runs at Bishop, who barely tags Spyder before he is hammered by Scorpion. A pumped-up Spyder is now in the ring, and he releases his frustration with a series of head-jarring clotheslines, and then a big suplex. Stinger tries to help out, but a recovered Bishop meets him halfway and clotheslines Stinger out of the ring. With Stinger on the floor, Spyder picks Scorpion up in the Spyder's Bite, and executes it perfectly. The ref counts, 1.., 2..,3. Spyder and Bishop win! The two raise their arms in victroy, and then they go to the outside to check on the condition of the fallen Stinger. Once they have determined that Stinger is all wight, the Shinings congratulate Bishop and Spyder on their win, and all four men shake hands.
WINNERS: Bishop and Spyder via Spyder's Bite by Spyder
SSC: Another upset. This is less of an upset, but still an upset. The top 2 seeds for the tourney have been knocked out here on the first night of tourney action. Next we have a rather weird match and we'll try to bring you as much as we can about this match. Out go the lights.....
DARKNESS MATCH
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Kuro Kazuya vs. Hemlock
Ok, this is a very difficult match to call because all the lights went out and the only things providing very limited visibility were a few lighters in the stands. There were a variety of sounds of the mat shaking or ring steps getting hit. The crash of metal, the crash of bodies, and the sounds of a wrestling match were all present. The only one that could really see the action was the ref. He called for the lights and Hemlock was face down on the mat. Kuro Kazuya was standing above him with a sweat drenched face and body. The ref counted 1-2-3, but Kuro wasn't finished. He gave the limp Hemlock a few powerbombs and ended it with a painful STF which he applied for sometime until Poison came out. The two stared at each other and Kuro departed victoriously.
WINNER: Kuro Kazuya via Something
SSC: It's hard to really comment on that, but it looked like Hemlock got his clock cleaned. Another showdown between Poison and Kuro also. Speaking of Poison, we have here in a very very rough handicap match against Preacher and Darkness. It's go time.
HANDICAP MATCH
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Poison vs. Darkness and Preacher
Preacher and Darkness are introducerd first, and the two new guys appear to be primed for their debut. Then, the lights go out, and all of a sudden, they come back on, and Poison is in the ring. After a brief conference, Preacher tells Darkness to start the match off, and then Preacher climbs out to the apron. The bell rings, and the match is underway. Poison wins the opening lock-up with a knee-lift, and then sends Darkness off the ropes. Darkness comes back, and is met with a huge right-hand punch that sends him flying to the mat. Preacher rushes in to aid his partner, but he receives a left-hand punch that sends him to the mat as well. Darkness gets up, and tries to rush Poison, but Poison catches him, and chokeslams him to the mat. Darkness and Preacher roll out of the ring, to try and regain their composure. But they get no rest, as Poison follows them out. Then, in an awesome display of strength, Poison chokeslams them both to the concrete floor at the same time. Turning his attention to Darkness, the legal man, Poison stomps on him a few times. Poison then rolls Darkness back into the ring. However, while the ref checks Darkness's condition, Preacher hits Poison in the back of the leg with a ringside chair. Poison is hobbled, and Preacher rolls him into the ring. Then, Darkness starts to go to work on Poison's bad leg. Darkness repeatedly stomps on it, and then applies a standing reverse figure-4. However, Poison doesn't submit, and Darkness breaks the hold after a couple of minutes. Then, Preacher gets the tag, and comes into the ring. He picks Poison up as if for an inverted atomic drop, but instead drops him knee-first onto the mat. Poison is in a great deal of pain, and Preacher keeps adding to it. Preacher hits the ropes, and gives Poison's knee a big splash. Poison actually shouts in pain, and Preacher quickly covers him, 1..,2.., Poison lifts his shoulder. Then, Preacher calls Darkness over, and they discuss something. Then, Darkness puts Poison's leg over the bottom rope and holds it there, while Preacher, still the legal man climbs up to the top rope. Preacher then leaps for a big splash from the top rope onto Poison's knee, but at the last second, Poison rolls out of the way. Preacher hits the mat hard, and Darkness is shocked. Darkness goes over to help his fallen partner, and Poison takes the opportunity to get to his feet. He sneaks up behind Darkness, still hobbing on one-leg. He then grabs Darkness from behind, while still standing on one leg, and somehow manages to Venomplex him over the top rope. Darkness is now out cold on the floor, and Poison hobbles over to the fallen Preacher, and drags him ot the middle of the ring. Poison then rolls Preacher onto his stomach, steps over him, and locks son the Poisoning. With nowhere to go, Precaher submits almost immediately. The referee raises Poison's hand in victory, and Poison then hobbles back to the dressing room for medical attention.
WINNER: Poison via Poisoning
SSC: Poison truly is a dominant force here in the SEWF. Another nice win for the resume over two very tough opponents. A card wouldn't be complete without some nWo vs. SEWF action. What kidna shape will Destroyer in after his "altercation" in the parking lot? Let's see.
SEWF vs. "nWo"
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Styme w/"nWo" vs. Destroyer w/Dynamite Dave
Of course, Caladan Moore, Thunder Rider, Christina and James L. Braddock come out with Styme. Yep, Destroyer and Dynamite sure are outnumbered here. Destroyer and Styme lock up with Styme winning the test of strength, forcing Destroyer to one knee. He give Destroyer a quick knee to the jaw and goes on the offense extensively. He unleashes a flurry of open handed hits to Destroyer's head, focusing on his bandaged head from the parking lot incident. Destroyer seems to be favoring the head and tries to dodge the blows of Styme, but Styme just keeps them coming. Destroyer finally begins to block them and mounts a little offense of his own. He picks up Styme and dumps him on the top turnbuckle. He kicks the exposed stomach of Styme repeatedly. Destroyer then mounts the turnbuckle himself and scoops up Styme. He executes a big fallaway slam (ala Hall) that rolls Styme right out of the ring. Styme regroups with his "nWo" supporters and finally rolls back in. Destroyer meets him coming in with a double ax handle to his back. The ref tries to hold Destroyer back, but Destroyer breaks free and gives Styme a few kicks. He whips Styme in and hits him with a big clothesline. Destroyer pumps up the crowd and resumes his assault on Styme, whipping him again into the ropes, this time giving him a big powerslam for a 2 count. Styme tries to retaliate, but Destroyer blocks it and brings Styme to his feet. He then tries a hip toss, but Styme blocks it and gives Destroyer a knee. Destroyer shakes it off and executes a hip toss. Styme comes back with some momentum out of the corner and hits Destroyer with a cross body block. Styme gets a 2 count. Braddock jumps up on the apron complaining about the count. Styme whips Destroyer into the ropes and Caladan grabs him when he hits the rope. Destroyer turns to strike him, but gets met with a cloud of black spray pain right in the eyes from Christina. Destroyer gets blinded and Dynamite Dave begins to protest. Destroyer wanders around the ring, swinging wildly and Braddock jumps off the apron. Styme levels the disoriented Destroyer as the nWo members begin to corner Dynamite Dave. Styme locks on the Sharpshooter. Destroyer, not even knowing which direction the ropes are, has no choice but to submit. The nWo gets in the ring to pummel Destroyer. Dynamite Dave signals quickly to the back and the Youngbloods run out and chase off the nWo.
WINNER: Styme via spray paint assisted sharpshooter
SSC: Gee, who would have thought? The "nWo" cheats to get a win. We can only hope that there is no premanant damage to the eyes of Destroyer. Something has gotta be done, the wrestlers are dropping like flies. Anyway, let's get down to the first title defense for Spyder's newly gained US title.
US HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
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Spyder (c) vs. Frazer Fury
Spyder brings the shiny US title to the ring and shows it off for the fans. Frazer Fury stalks out with some big arse determination. The two jump in the ring and Frazer Fury heads straight for Spyder with a flying drop kick. Spyder hits the ropes and bounces off to meet a leg trip by Frazer Fury. Frazer Fury immediately slaps on a Regal stretch, going for the early submission victory. Spyder grabs for a rope and finds one, forcing Frazer Fury to break the hold after the full 5 seconds. FF picks Spyder up and whips him across the ring into the turnbuckle. FF follows with a big running clothesline, but hits nothing but turnbuckle. FF staggers and falls. Spyder rolls him up quickly, but can only get the 2 count. FF stands up quickly and the two men circle each other for a little while. FF takes the initiative and locks up with Spyder. FF forces Spyder into the ropes and whips him off of them. He gives Spyder a big boot to the gut and follows it with a big DDT! He makes the cover 1...2...th--no! Spyder kicked out. FF picked him back in and whipped him into the ropes, this time catching him with the sleeper hold. The already groggy Spyder falls victim quickly to the sleepiness inflicted. He falls on his arse and FF follows him all the way down. The ref lifts Spyder's arm twice to watch it fall quickly. On the third try, Spyder summons just enough strength to keep his arm up off the mat. He pulls together a little strength and rises to his feet as Thunder Rider emerges, running, from the back with a hockey stick. FF realizes Spyder has the ability to break free and whips Spyder into the ropes. FF hits the ropes his ownself, but as he does so, Thunder Rider cracks him with the hockey stick. FF falls to his knees but Spyder is unaware of this and trips right over FF and falls to the concrete head first. Thunder Rider leaves, in semi celebration as Spyder lies crumpled in an unmoving ball on the floor. FF regains his senses and manages to roll the stunned Spyder back in the ring. Frazer Fury picks him up, but Spyder just falls again to the mat. FF tries again and this time gets Spyder to stay up. FF steps back, measures Spyder, and connects big time with a Fury Kick! Spyder is now totally out and it's elementary from there. Lateral press by FF and the 1-2-3! The ref awards the US title to Frazer. The New Horsemen come out to congratulate him on his win.
WINNER AND NEW US CHAMP: Frazer Fury via Fury Kick
SSC: The pyromaniac has gotten his first title here in the SEWF! It's been quite a night, to say the least, with more yet to come. It's a struggle to keep the world title out of the hands of the "nWo." Let's see if TA can keep the title SEWF. Here we go with the main event!
MAIN EVENT SEWF WORLD TITLE MATCH
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Texas Assassin (c) vs. Kez
TA comes out with Jack Hammer and Dynamite Dave absent from ringside. Kez enters with Caladan and Thunder Rider out to support their man. TA wastes no time and the 2 men lock up as the bell rings. TA wins the test and forces Kez to his knee. Kez manages to trip up TA and applies an arm bar on TA. TA refuses to give in and Kezmaniac finally releases the hold. Kezmaniac whips TA into the ropes and gives him a big boot to the face. TA staggers back, but does not fall. Kezmaniac sends him down with a running lariat. Kezmaniac picks TA up once again and whips him into the ropes. TA catches a foot to the gut from Kezmaniac. Kezmaniac spins TA into piledriver position at the opening. TA puts all the weight in his legs and tips Kezmaniac into a piledriver of his own, which TA executes to perfection. TA stays down a little while to catch his breath and then gives Kezmaniac a couple stomps to the head. TA drags Kezmaniac into the center of the ring and executes a big ropes assisted leg drop on Kezmaniac. He tries for an elbow drop but hits nothing but mat as Kezmaniac manages to roll out of the way. Kezmaniac pounces up and hits TA with a leg drop of his own. TA tries to roll away, but Kezmaniac picks him up and whips him into the ropes. TA reverses it and gives Kezmaniac a drop toe hold. He quickly applies a version of the STF. Kezmaniac writhes in pain but does not give in. TA releases the hold and applies a head scissors. Kezmaniac tries to kick out repeatedly and TA finally releases that hold as well. Dynamite Dave then runs out from the back, right past TR and Caladan, to take his position at the ring apron. TA resumes his offense, pumped up by the presence of Dave. TA gives Kezmaniac a big knee to the sternum. TA then applies yet another submission hold, this time an inverted surfboard. Kezmaniac screams in pain, but refuses to give in. TA sees this and releases the as well. He whips Kezmaniac into the ropes and attempts a drop kick, but Kezmaniac holds on to the ropes. TA hits the mat hard, and Kezmaniac runs in to lay a leg in between the legs of TA. Kezmaniac sets up for the Kezmission, but TA pushes him face first into the turnbuckle. TA stands up as Kezmaniac staggers out of the corner. He whips Kezmaniac into the ropes and catches him with the Dynamite DDT on his way back!!!!!! That's the new finisher he had been talking about! TA stares a little while at the fallen Kezmaniac and decides to add insult to injury. TA applies the Kezmission and Kezmaniac has no choice but to submit to his own finishing move. Dynamite Dave congratulates TA on a successful title defense and the 2 go to the back. Caladan hops in the ring and congratulates Kezmaniac on a great match and raises his hand for the crowd.
WINNER AND STILL SEWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP: Texas Assassin via Dynamite DDT and Kezmission
SSC: Impressive title defense by Texas Assassin to say the least. It's looking like Dynamite Dave is really having an affect on the course of that man's future, and it's going nowhere but up. Well, there's nothing more to see here as my favorite high school teacher used to say. For the absent Matt Hammer, and the ever present Prez. Shaw, this is Stylin' Steve Chen signing off once again. Be sure to watch Hammerlock every week with Matt Hammer. Goodnight!!!
(Camera fades to black.)
David Shaw SEWF Prez. wgzz80c@prodigy.com