Paul's Guide to Fencers

Let us examine the three different types of fencers,

Foilists

As is evident from this picture, foilists are generally a happy bunch of people. Whenever you see a foilist the chances are that they will be smiling or laughing or generally just being happy. They are characterised by frequently long hair and the fact that they are nearly always clean shaven.
They are unique amoung fencers as they all seem to enjoy competitions. Even if they loose a fight they will smile and shake hands with their opponent and tell them how well they fenced during that particular fight. The only time that they will be found to be unhappy is when talking about epee or sabre. They consider foil to be the only 'true' weapon and spend much of their free time extolling the virtues of foil and the evils of epee and sabre.


Epeeists

Epeeists take themselves more seriously and as can be seen from this picture often don't like having their picture taken. They can be characterised by the fact that they are very very tall and often left handed. Epeeists are also very elitist, looking down on with distain anyone who is not up ot their "level of fencing". If you are a beginner epeeist do not be surprised if the more experienced epeeist's sneer at you or even refuse to acknowledge your existence. During fencing bouts epeeists will often casually knock you to the floor before, after or while trying to get a hit on you...their excuse? the rules say they can.


Sabreurs

Sabreurs usually have the heavist build of the three types of fencers and are characterised by large amounts of facial and bodily hair. They usually wear leather and are only let out of institutions for competitions. Their hobbies often include insect torturing, frog inflating, cat swinging and stopping trafic. Sabre fencing itself is characterised by both fencers charging at their opponent swinging their blade wildly as soon as the command to 'fence' is issued by the president. It is also characterised by the fencers shouting, at each other, at the president, at their weapon, at the spectators, at a casual passer by or at anything else that catches their attention.


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