BOWIE: Let's go down to ringside for the introduction of our next match! COLLINS: LADIES AND GENTELMEN! THIS MATCH IS SET FOR ONE FALL! ["Ride of the Valkyries" by Elgar blares over the PA] COMING DOWN THE AISLE! HE WEIGHS IN AT 265 LBS AND HAILS FROM OXFORD, ENGLAND! HERE IS LOOOORRRD BYYYYROONN!!!! [The crowd pops mildly for Lord Byron as he walks to ring, and slowly climbs into the ring. Byron keeps a serious game face on as he enters the ring] BOWIE: Byron's not much of a talker, is he? HEART: It's hard to get a word through with people like you around, Bowie! BOWIE: [sighs] Let's go back to ring announcer Stephen Collins for the introduction of Byron's opponent! COLLINS: AND HIS OPPONENT!!! [The crowd pops as "Absolutely Fabulous" by the Pet Shop Boys plays over the PA] HE IS LED TO THE RING BY DEVIOUS DAN DAVIS! HE STANDS 6'3" AND WEIGHS IN AT 252 LBS! HE HAILS FROM CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA!!! HERE IS "FABULOUS" FREEDDDDYYYY BLAIIIIRRR!! [Blair is led to the ring by Dan Davis. Blair is wearing a midnight blue sequined robe trimmed with white feathers. The robe says "Absolutely Fabulous" on the back in white. He shakes hands with the fans and showboats a little for them. When he gets into the ring, he takes off his robe to reveal a blue and green singlet, blue kneepads, and white wrestling boots. The boots have "Ab Fab" on the sides in black letters] HEART: This guy Blair is a fashion nightmare!! BOWIE: Give me a break!!! There's the bell, and we're underway! Both men are relatively even in terms of power, with Lord Byron holding a slight weight advantage. HEART: We're going to see who's the strongest right now as we've got a test of strength going on! BOWIE: Neither man gaining an advantage as Byron pushes Blair into the ropes. The referee calls for a clean break and receives it! HEART: Oh great! Two bleeding hearts out there!! I think I'm gonna gag! BOWIE: Collar and elbow tie-up. Blair with the side headlock..Bryon pushes him to the far side. Blair off the ropes...SHOULDERBLOCK BY BLAIR! Blair off the ropes...JAPANESE ARMDRAG BY LORD BYRON! HEART: Not a bad countermove there, Bowie! BOWIE: I agree, Lance! Blair was totally shocked by that armdrag! Blair is back up to a vertical base...throws Byron into the ropes... SHOULDERBLOCK BY BYRON!!! Byron off the ropes...BIG BACKDROP BY BLAIR!!! Good counterwrestling going on here early in the match! HEART: Yeah, yeah. If you say so! BOWIE: Blair picks up Byron...BODYSLAM!!! Blair off the ropes...MISSED ELBOWDROP BY BLAIR!!! HEART: Byron's on the attack! He picks up Blair...sends him into the ropes...POWERSLAM BY BYRON!!! HE GOES FOR THE COVER!!! 1...2....KICKOUT BY BLAIR!! BOWIE: Byron throws him into the ropes...CLOTHESLINE ON BLAIR! Byron picks him up...VERTICAL SUPLEX BY LORD BYRON!!! HE GOES FOR THE COVER!!! 1...2...KICKOUT!!! HEART: You know, Fab Fred here isn't so bad! I think I'm starting to like him! BOWIE: Really? HEART: NAH!!! I was only kidding!!! HHAHAHA!!! BOWIE: I didn't think you were!! Byron picks up Blair...off the ropes... they're jockeying for position...ABDOMINAL STRETCH BY BLAIR!!! HEART: That's got to be hurting that lower back, Bowie. BOWIE: It sure is!! Well, it was as Byron just hiptossed Blair off of him!! Byron runs at Blair...HUGE CLOTHESLINE BY BLAIR!!! HE'S COVERING HIM!!! 1...2...KICKOUT!!! Blair caught Byron by surprise! HEART: Sure did!! Blair circling his opponent...collar and elbow tie-up.. Blair ducks behind Byron...GUT WRENCH SUPLEX!!! Blair picks him up...DRAGON SUPLEX!!! HERE'S THE COUNT!!! 1...2...KICKOUT BY BYRON!!! BOWIE: We're seeing some good wrestling here between these two competitors, Lance! HEART: Give him a thumb to the eye!!! You'll win the match quicker! BOWIE: Not from these two guys! Blair off the ropes...CROSS BODY BLOCK!!! Byron throws him off...Blair off the ropes...MISSED SPLASH BY BLAIR!!! HEART: Byron's on the attack. He lifts up Blair...TOMBSTONE ON BLAIR!!! Byron with the pick-up...HIGH VERTICAL SUPLEX ON BLAIR!!! BOWIE: Byron picks him up, tries to pick him up...BLAIR REVERSES THE SUPLEX ATTEMPT!!! HE'S TRYING FOR THE PIN!!! 1...2...KICKOUT!!! THAT WAS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT!!! HEART: Nah, someone has to lose!!!! BOWIE: Blair up to a vertical base...throws Byron into the ropes... HEADSCISSORS ON LORD BYRON!!! Byron quickly to his feet... DROPKICK BY BLAIR!!! HEART: Blair off the ropes...POWERBOMB BY LORD BYRON!!! Blair tried for another headscissors but Byron caught it for a powerbomb attempt! BOWIE: Byron picks up Blair...BACKBREAKER BY BYRON!!! Byron goes to the ropes...BIG SPASH!! THE COVER!!! 1...2...BLAIR BARELY KICKED OUT! HEART: So far, we have a seesaw battle! Byron on off the ropes... SHOULDERTACKLE!! Byron off the ropes again...BOTH MEN HIT HARD!!! BOWIE: THE REF'S GIVING THE COUNT!!! 1...2...3... HEART: NEITHER MAN HAS MOVED!!! BOWIE: 4...5...6... LORD BYRON IS TO HIS FEET!!!! HEART: Byron off the ropes...CLOTHESLINE!!! Off the far side....SUNSET FLIP BY BLAIR!!! HERE'S THE COUNT!!! 1...2..KICKOUT!!! BOWIE: Blair to his feet first...CLOTHESLINE!!!! Blair off the ropes.. ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE!!! BYRON'S DOWN!!!! HEART: Blair picks him up....SIDE SUPLEX!!!! BLAIR'S GOING TO THE TOP ROPE!!! HE'S PLAYING TO THE FANS!!! THIS COULD BE A SERIOUS MISTAKE!!! BOWIE: Byron's slowly getting to feet...Blair leaps...BYRON SIDESTEPPED BLAIR'S DROPKICK!!! BLAIR HIT THE MAT HARD AFTER THAT MANEUVER! HEART: Byron picks up Blair...walks around with him...SIDEWALK SLAM!! BYRON'S CALLING FOR THE ARISTOCLUTCH!!! BOWIE: BYRON'S GOT THE ARISTOCLUTCH LOCKED IN!!! BLAIR'S TRYING TO HOLD ON!! DAN DAVIS IS TRYING TO RALLY THE CROWD!!! HEART: NO! THAT'S IT!!! BLAIR'S GIVEN UP!!! RING THE BELL REF!!! COLLINS: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AS A RESULT OF A SUBMISSION!!! LORRRRDDDDD BYYYYRROON!!!!! [a few cheers go up as "Ride of the Valkyries" by Elgar plays over the PA] BOWIE: WHAT A GREAT MATCHUP BETWEEN THESE TWO MEN!!! HEART: But Lord Byron won in the end!! HAHA! Let's look at the replay! [The replay shows the missed dropkick off the top rope by Blair and Lord Byron putting the Aristoclutch on Blair] BOWIE: Blair has nothing to be ashamed of in this matchup! He gave it his all! HEART: But unfortunately, he won't get a paycheck this week because he's a LOSER!!! BOWIE: WOULD YOU STOP!!!