This column is based on players that seem to have been stuck in a slump all year long. No, not 1 game, not 2 games, not 3 games or even 4....but the entire 1999-2000 Hockey Regina House hockey season. Featured in this article is #11 John Jacob, AKA: John-Boy.
Before the start of the new season, many people wondered: "Could anybody be crappier than Don Ready?" That question was answered. Yes. That player's name is John Jacob.
John-Boy had a total of 1 point the entire year, and it was an assist. He had a total of 0 shots on net. Only God knows why John-Boy is even playing this year, considering the fact it is obvious that he is afraid to get hit. Everybody else on the Hawks Hockey Club has been pounded into the ice at least one or twice this year. John-Boy hasn't. Why? Because he skates away from the puck and/or passes it to the other team.
Why does he pass to the other team, when he could be passing to his own players? The answer is simple, you might laugh, but I think it's the only realistic, yet honest answer.
JOHN-BOY IS A SPY FOR EVERY OTHER TEAM IN THE LEAGUE!!
Look at the facts:
You can't tell me he isn't a spy for other teams when this goes on. Even though he is a spy, he is as weak as a 2 month old child. He can't even rip off his sock tape, he needs scissors. That is pathetic. ANYBODY can do that in any old league...not John-Boy...15 year old John-Boy. Turning 16 in this millennium year. That is a total disgrace to the lives of many. I was embarrassed watching it happen - HE HAS TO CUT THE SOCK TAPE WITH SCISSORS. I remember tough hockey player's from the 1950's and 60's.
Another fact: one time Greg Klein had to give John-Boy a ride to the tournament in Dysart, Saskatchewan. Klein opened the back of the van, John-Boy struggled to get his equipment into the back, Greg went back to his seat. JOHN-BOY COULDN'T CLOSE THE BACK DOOR, HE WAS TOO WEAK! Now tell me honestly, you are laughing right now. Not only is that sad, it's also pathetic.
John-Boy: do yourself a favor, QUIT HOCKEY YOU SACK OF HORSE CRAP.