Burnsie- What can you say about this team- his running backs suck (it would be really horrible if not for stealing Nappy from pringle for an 8^th round pick in an illegal trade made after the free agent deadline) and his receivers are worse. Apparently he must have overruled the meatman on draft day. But Farve and the best kicker in football (according to burnsie) - delgreco- should carry burnsie to his first playoff berth ever. It should be noted that burnsie is the owner that has gone the longest without being in the playoffs unless you count Jeff, but you shouldn’t because he really sucks. His drafting of tiki bar in the 8^th round before it was his pick could come back to haunt him as he changed his mind and picked up the immortal delgreco and then inexplicably passed on tiki in the 9^th round to select lamar smith. GM Grade - C , Coaching Grade - B

Wesco - the trade happy simpleton pulled off a tremendous predraft trade with Dave-e-boy (Dave got raped this time) to obtain the 8^th overall pick (ed george) but then drafting salami in the 2^nd round - was this in the pottstown mercury or what - confirmed my belief that he is still clueless. Morten (has-been and stiff) anderson in the 6^th and of course dion (he loves this religious dude) in the 16^th further illustrates his cluelessness. Wesco has solidified his position with what could possibly be considered the trade of the year when he swapped that numskull pringle (like he wasn’t raped enough before the season) salami and odonnel for harris and jimmy smith. Marine Boy, you are a certifiable genius, and should slip into the playoffs. GM grade - I, coaching Grade - C

Pringle - Prior to August 1, ed had the most impressive team with many franchise players to chose from - adrian, blake,freeman,anderson, and little nappy. He should have been able to parlay this into good draft picks but he proceeded to keep the 2 worst players (freeman and anderson) and traded (gave away is more like it) the rest of them away. No wonder his "business" went belly-up after less than a year, he probably used the same negotiating skills. First he gave dave adrian so he could move up 10 spots in the 4^{th -} round - real smart. - and then burnsie calls in an imaginary trade at the 13^th hour and picks up nappy for an 8^th rounder. The only value ed received was in the fair trade with me exchanging blake for a 5^th rounder. So what did ed do with all these extra picks - he choked just like he says dave always does. Even with these miscues he had a reasonable team until he panicked after going 0-2 and gave up smith and harris for salami and odonnell. In case you were wondering, Ed cashed in that 8^th round pick for bert emanuel (is he still playing). AT 0-3, I see little chance of ed making a run at the playoffs even though I realize that I started slow last year before steamrolling all opponents on the way to the championship, but that was me - ed has no chance. I have already said too much about ed so I will refrain from discussing other more personal topics. GM - F^- , Coach - F

RALPHIE - 3 and 0 -are you kidding me? It just goes to show you that even a blind squirrel sometimes find a nut. I think Ralph finally figured out that it is not good to have 7 steelers on your team. But the way things are going, I have decided to use my executive power as commish and declare this the year of the Ralph. While this alone will carry ralph to the playoffs he will eventually meet up with my team (it may be the championship game) and be summarily dismissed. GM - A+, Coach - A+

Sluggo - Now this is a team that is an example of inadequate planning, poor execution, a warped sense of loyalty to the giants (he has almost all the giant players except the only good one - tiki) and a general lack of intelligence. I honestly can’t see him winning another game this year - shame on ed for losing to this loser. Last year with Farve and 6 stiffs, sluggo made the playoffs but no such luck this year. Sluggo, you (like your Giant team ) suck. PS - Dave brown is still available. GM - F, Coach -F, These grades are an improvement over last year.

Luke - Dorsey levens in the first round - lags picked up this stiff in the 7^th round last year. And with addul (1 year wonder) and thermun back-up thomas it’s going to be a long year at running back for this team - come to think of it, it’s going to be a long year at WR and QB also. Tight end (sharpe would appear to be his only strong position but sharpe has turned into a stiff. His kicker Kasay is damn good, but (I know al del greco and ) he’s no delgreco. It looks like another year out of the playoffs. GM - F+, Coach - D

Kush - Once again my team is the greatest. I see no reason why I won’t easily repeat as champion. The astute trade I engineered 2 years ago (t.davis) anchors an outstanding stable of Rb with sanders,warren,kijana, and even TD alstott. I can’t even get all of these studs into the line-up. With Jay graham and duse staley as my backs of the future I should be set for years to come. I secured a stud QB (blake) in the only value for value trade with Pringle (everyone else should be arrested for felony robbery). AT both kicker and WR I have above average players. My only area of weakness is tight end but I expect to get sharpe from luke (this trade may be completed by the time you read this newsletter) for a bag of chips and leslie sheperd. My loss to ralph was a fluke and I should easily run the table and finish at 12-1, win the high points overall, win the championship for the second straight year and have my name inscribed for an unprecedented and likely unrepeatable 3^rd time in the prestigious championship trophy. Thanks for the money, losers! GM=A+, Coach=A+ and as always Commish =A+++

Miles - what was he thinking when he kept that dope addict Bam. This could be the move that sinks his ship as his other backs really suck - faulk and heyward - what was up with that? It’s a good thing burnsie threw tiki barber back into the draft ( in favor of al " I missed the chip shot game winner at cincy" automatic delgreco) as this might give little jonnie miles a shot at the playoffs. His homer pick of fryar in the 4^th round was characteristically idiotic and his tight ends and kickers (shank artist longwell) are below average at best. But bledsoe and martin should keep miles afloat and he may make the playoffs only to be castrated as he runs into my buzzsaw in the 2^nd round. When miles can no longer keep martin for next year, I predict a long rebuilding process and miles will be buying beer for years to come, that is if he doesn’t quit first. GM=D, Coach =C

Jeff - It doesn’t matter who he gets to assist him during the draft (unless, of course it’s meats) his teams will always suck. His best player is that goldbricker bruce who may not play another game this year. His star running back is larry centers (what??) and he was so desperate he had to continue to play stephen davis even when terry allen returned. What else can I say his team rally blows. I propose a rule change ( it may be approved by the time you read this) that anyone who loses to jeff be fined $10 and losing to jeff a second time should result in automatic excommunication from the league. And I also advise all of you to keep an eye on your wallet around jeff as I have received reports indicating he blatantly and without remorse pilfered a large sum of cash at a recently held illustrious golf tourney. He will not go winless this year only because he plays sluggo twice and somebody has to win those games. GM = F, coach = F-, Thief = A+

Dave-E-Boy - His team looks good for a change. I should have voided the most lopsided trade in league history when dave obtained adrian for a six pack and a bowl of peanuts, but frankly I feel sorry for davey (his team has really sucked the last few years) and decided that this trade would give him a chance at mediocrity. Dave is out to prove the critics (ed says "give dave all the picks he wants he’ll still screw up" wrong and so far it looks promising - even mcelroy scored a TD. If jeff george doesn’t quit in the middle of the season dave has a decent shot at the playoffs. GM=B, Coach= C, Chef = D-

Some thing to ponder:

Does dave always have to have bates on his roster?

Are al "manual" delgreco and burnsie secret lovers?

Can jeff’s team be that bad?

During the gang rape of pringle prior to the draft, who was the clean-up hitter? And wesco (salami &odonnell for harris and smith) what was it like to be the third man in.

And with miles out of town all the time, why does "his" daughter look just like luke’s kid stephanie?

Where is jerry ellison? - he was an early round pick last year.Is it true that a bottle of expensive champagne (last since near jeff'’s table at the draft) was reported missing just after the draft was over?