|
KUSH'S FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE "I own this league - you guys all suck"
|
|
FANTASY NEWSLETTER (written by an impartial observer)(no Burnsie, it does not involve Christie Canyon)
This is the first (and probably the last) fantasy football newsletter for the 1995 season. There have been numerous inquiries about the scoring system, waiver pick-ups, payout amounts, and other sultry issues that the puppet commisioner (would you pay him to consult you on anything) and the puppet master (Kush) have failed to clarify. Let's get right down to business starting with the scoring system. Scoring System Rushing and Receiving TD Yards Points 1-20 6 21-40 7 41-60 8 61-80 9 80-110 10
Bonus Points Rushing Yardage Bonus Points 100-149 4 150-199 6 (Except for week 3, then it is 151 - 200 yards for the bonus) 200 and more 8 Bonus Points Receiving Yardage Bonus Points 100-149 4 (Unless you beat Dave by 0.1, then you need at least 101 yards for the bonus) 150-199 6 200 and more 8
Bonus Point Combined Rushing and Receiving Note: This bonus only applies to players not exceeding 99 yards in rushing or receiving. Yardage Bonus Points 100-149 2 150-199 4 Touchdown Scoring for Special Teams and Defense (the Ralph Rule) The player scoring the touchdown receives the following points: Yards Points 1-20 6 21-40 7 41-60 8 61-80 9 80-110 10 There is no yardage bonus for these touchdowns and the yardage obtained here can not be combined with any other yardage to meet other bonus objectives.
Passing TD Yards Points 1-39 4 40-99 7
Bonus Points Passing Yards Bonus Points 300-349 4 350-399 5 400-449 6 450-499 7 500-1000 8 Kick Scoring The points awarded for a field goal is the ratio of the distance of the kick in yards to 101 (base 3). Example for the humanoids: 45 yard field goal = 4.5 points A kicked extra point is worth 1 point
2 Point Conversion Scoring Any player scoring the 2 point conversion shall be awarded 2 points. Any player passing for the 2 point conversion shall be awarded 2 points I hope the above information clears up some confusion and creates some new arguments.
WAIVER ACQUISITIONS AND FREE AGENTS I really don't understand how this procedure works except that when you call to pick up a free agent, Kush has just picked him up. OBTAINING UPDATED ROSTERS AND SCORING DATA Good Luck. PLAYOFFS The top 6 teams will make the playoffs. 1st and 2nd place will get a first round bye, 3rd will play 6. and 4 will play 5. In the second round of the playoffs team 1 will play the lowest ranked team. In case of ties, the first tie breaker will be head to head record with the teams involved in the tie. The second tie breaker will be most points. The third tie breaker will be a random number generator. For the case of three or more teams involved in a tie breaker situation, the above criteria is used to dteermine one entrant into the playoffs at a time. Once the first team has been selected, the tie breaker procedure begins again with the remaining teams. Because I can not understand what I just wrote, follow the example below: Teams 1,2,3 and 4 are tied for 5th place with 6-7 records. Team Record against other teams in tie Total points for season 1 2-1 370 2 2-1 400 3 1-2 450 4 1-2 112 (Ralph - He beat Dave 6 times) Team 2 is awarded 5th place by virtue of the second tie breaker with team 1 - total points 400 to 370. At this point, the 3 remaining teams are placed in the tie breaker once again: Team Record against other teams in tie Total points for season 1 1-1 370 3 1-1 450 4 1-1 112 (Ralph)
Team 3 is awarded 6th place by virtue of the second tie breaker - total points 450-370. Teams 1 and 4 go to the toilet bowl. If you are still confused, use these general rules: If you are tie with Kush For the last playoff spot - you're not going to win the tie breaker. If you are tie with Ralph for total points, you will be buying beer for the end of year party. If you are within a 100 points of burnsie, you are in second place. If you call the new MRS. Commish on Christmas, make sure it is after 11 PM, use the upstairs number and let it ring at least 20 times. $$$ MONEY $$$ What is the weekly pay out for high points? Should the high point total be extended into the playoffs with all teams eligible? What is the Pay out for highest overall points by position? What is Miles doing with all the investment income from the Francise Fees? OTHER ITEMS OF INTEREST Can someone explain to Ed that 15 pages barely fit into an envelope and that a first class stamp may not cover the postage for such a big load. How happy is Tim with Benny's drafting ability? Is Miles still crying about how he always plays the team that scores the most points each week? Burnsie is going out of the country for six weeks so he has asked me to put his line up in until he gets back - Emmitt Smith, Irving Fryar, and 7 other stiffs - one of which shall be named Herschell. Question : Why is Miles using running back Eric Metcalf as a wide receiver? Answer : Because Kush says so. Did Benny really pick up frank Wainwright on waivers? Will Ralph continue to play players who are no longer in the NFL? Can anyone POINTS TO PONDER The 2 players you can hold- is this just for next year or is it forever? Suppose you decide to hold no players - do you get supplemental picks? When do you declare which players you are holding? The trading of next year's picks for this year's players is not allowed? Should higher ranked team in playoffs get home field advantage? - 3 points? Trophy for the winner??
|