The scene opens up backstage where Confusion is in Dr. Macho's office. Dr. Macho can be seen ripping
Confusion a new ass.
Dr Macho: I don't care! You crossed that line! Now you best be ready to pay up!
Confusion: Look here, it was MY choice to make her do that.
Dr Macho: Exactly! And it is MY choice to make YOU pay with your ASS!
Dr macho sees the camera and screams, "Get the fuck out of here! NOW!
Camera goes to a spectacular pyro display at WVU Coliseum. Lights come on to a popping crowd holding signs such as: "Welcome to the State of Confusion" and "J-Dog: your RWF champion"
Dashington: What was that about in Macho's office?
Jackson: With Confusion, it's always some controversy, but he brings it upon himself
Dashington: I go out for beers with the guy! He's not bad!
Jackson: But just as dirty as you nevertheless! Hi I'm "Gentleman" John Jackson and this is
"Dirty" Dave Dashington, the one with a weird choice of friends.
Dashington: What???
Jackson: Let's go to the first bout.
Cameras show the Sexicutioners savagely attack from behind RWF heavyweight champion Jakob Creed. Timmy the Midget looks on encouraging GorGor and Oderus Urungus. Oderus gets a chair and hits Jakob, who spins around and gets hit with a chair by GorGor. Oderus then grabs a brick and slams it upon Jakob, then the Sexicutioners strip Creed naked and tapes a picture -- of a herd of sheep -- on Creed's back. Oderus drops his pants and gets ready to mount Creed from behind when he's attacked by "Survivor" Tom Tennant. Enforcers come out to help Creed, while Tennant gets the Sexicutioners out of sight.
Jackson: Disgusting
Dashington: My ass hurts from watching that
Jackson: Let's go to the first match and not mention this any further.
"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor plays... "From Morgantown, WV weighing in at 245 lbs....Tom 'The Survivor' Tennant!!!!" Dashington: Well whatever beating he gave the Sexicutioners, it didn't take long
"Where my Dogz at" by DMX plays... Announcer: from Santa, Monica weighing in at 252 lbs...Jay 'So Smooth' Richardson!!!!"
MATCH RESULT: WOW! Survivor proved why he one of the best in the
business. He cracked So Smooth in the head with the pipe busting him
wide open to start. He then mercilessly ripped at the open wound
causing the blood to flow like the Missisippi River during spring thaw.
The referee stopped the match when The Smooth Ones hair color became
undistingushable. Survivor continued the assault though. He continued
to pound on Richards until the ref threatened to reverse his decision.
MATCH WINNER: "Survivor" Tom Tennant by referee's discretion
Dashington: Yeah!!!
Jackson: Won't you be nice and give blood to poor Jay?
Dashington: You're starting to sound like a pussy John.
Jackson: Oh yeah coming from the same guy who hides when Faces of Terror
wrestle.
The lights in the arena go black, save a dim red light on the ramp way.
"Unforgiven" by Metallica plays...
Jackson: Wait a minute.
A masked man in a black leather trench coat, and black leather pants
steps threw the curtain. The only thing distinguishing is a red letter
V on his mask. He produces a mic. from his coat pocket and speaks
"Tommy boy, you remember me don't you Vengeance. I tried in vain to
fight you in the RWL, but you were to god damned yellow to show up.
So I followed you here.I have come once again to claim your soul and
life, and I will....TRUST ME and BELIEVE IT"
Dashington: That guy scares the shit out of me.
Jackson: I thought Faces of Terror did that????
Dashington: He's just as bad.
Jackson: I can tell tonight will be very interesting.
"Shade" by Silverchair plays... "From parts unknown, weighing 245 lbs...Shade!!!!!"
Theme from The Godfather plays... "From Queens NY, weighing 275 lbs...one half of the RWF tag team champions...Vinny!!!!"
MATCH RESULT:Another bloody affair. Shade busted Vinny open in 5
minutes. Vinny looked lost without a tag partner as evidenced when he
tried to make several tags. This made him an easy target for a far more
superior Shade. Vinny became the victim of the Nightshade.
MATCH WINNER: Shade by pinfall
Dashington: Impressive!
Jackson: You can say all you want about Shade and Tom Tennant, but both are equally
impressive.
Dashington: Of course they are stupid! They are one and the same!
Jackson: Possibly, but we don't know.
Dashington: Dumbass. Watch this master, maybe you will learn something about getting dirty.
"State of Confusion" by the Kinks plays...
"From the State of Confusion, weighing 280 lbs...Confusion!!!!!"
Jackson: Oh whoopee.
Dashington: Pay attention John! You may learn something!
"The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" plays...
Dashington: Holy Shit! Who is this running down the ramp?
Jackson: That's Lynch Mobb! Lynch Mobb is here! What is he doing?
Dashington: He's in the ring!
Lynch hits the ring and immediately goes after Confusion. He grabs Confusion and nails him with a Hangman's Suplex. Lynch walks up the ramp. Confusion looks up rubbing his neck, sees Lynch and runs after him. Lynch rounds a corner backstage. As Confusion gets backstage he is met with a vicious clothesline.
Dashington: Holy Shit! Do you know who that is?
Jackson: I can't believe they are here!
Dashington: What does that do for the tag ranks?
Jackson: Major improvment, not that anything is wrong with it now.
Dashington: Get us off camera and get to the action dumbass! Get back to The
Big Uglies!
Camera finds The Big Uglies dragging A nearly unconscious Confusion to the ring.
Jackson: They're not!
Dashington: If anyone in the back can hear me; get the putty scraper ready!
Barry M. Deep executes a vicious powerslam on Confusion. Sam Edi begins kicking him in the ribs. Barry climbs the top rope and comes off with a flying body press. Sam picks Confusion up and and Barry climbs the top rope again.
Dashington: IRV! Clean up aisle 3!
Jackson: (laughing) My God what a mess.
Dashington: I guess The Prez had his revenge for whatever he got pissed at Confusion about.
"King Nothing" by Metallica plays...
"Accompanied by Phoenix, from parts unknown, weighing 260 lbs...Dark Enigma!!!"
Jackson: Well there goes Confusion...in the hospital bed next to "So Smooth"
Dashington: I can't believe they are really here!
Jackson: For those who just joined us...E.W.W.W. Gross has invaded the RWF! And
it's about time!
Camera show Tonya in Dr. Macho's office, but she has abandoned the slutty clothes
for the same leather getup as the Mistress and a curly redhaired wig.
Tonya: So, how mangled is he?
Dr. Macho: Look in the ambulance (grins)
Tonya: Nice! It's nice to see that son of a bitch play for tossing me aside, and
fucking around while I was booking his matches.
Mistress: Tonya, on behalf of Doc and I, we have a little gift for you. We are giving
you 10% of the RWF shares.
Tonya: No way -- are you shitting me???
Dr. Macho: Nope. It's yours dear.
Tonya: (shakes hands with Mistress and Macho) Thank you, and I want to take back all
the shit that I put upon you two.
Mistress: Well, Confusion can play the sugar daddy often. But I guess not for a while.
Dashington: Woo! Over half of RWF run by chicks in leather!
Jackson: What would you do for a salary raise Dave?
Dashington: Clean both the toilet and hot tub!
Jackson: Next match.
The theme from the Godfather plays...
"From Queens, NY, weighing 310 lbs....one half of the RWF tag team champions...Marcellus!!!"
MATCH RESULT:Probably the best match of the night. Both men, used
to the tag ranks, gave everything they had. Finally after over 20
minutes both men collapsed after hitting a double clothesline and
couldn't answer the ten count.
MATCH WINNER: none -- draw
Jackson: GREAT match.
Dashington: No doubt. Let's go to Moira with an update on Confusion
Moira: Confusion has finally reached Mon General, where he is suffering internal injuries from the attack by E.W.W.W. Gross. Doctors report internal bleeding and fractures. More later, back to you John.
"Falling Away From Me" by KoRn plays...
"From Golden Rivers, Nevada, weighing 246 lbs...'The Golden One' El Dorado!!!!!"
"Insane in the Brain" by Cypress Hill plays...
"From Tijuana, Mexico, weighing 205 lbs...El Loco Mexicano!!!!!"
MATCH RESULT:A very fast paced match for most of the contest. Both
men gave it their all and the crowd definatley got their money's worth
here. Finally, El Loco Mexicano finally hit his flying jalapeno for
the win.
MATCH WINNER: El Loco Mexicano by pinfall
Jackson: Good match as well. Rampage has been incredible tonight.
Dashington: Tacos, burritos?
Jackson: Oh HUSH!
Dashington: Hush yourself. What's this?
Backstage shows dr. Macho giving Lynch Mobb and The Big Uglies a
large sum of money.
Dr. Macho: Thanks guys. That guy really irks me. Keep close to the
phone I may need you again.
The three men nod and leave.
Jackson: Well! (laughing)
Dashington: I should've known.
Jackson: Yes you should've -- pay attention, you may learn something from
E.W.W.W. Gross.
Dashington: Oh shut up dammit.
"Out of Space" by Prodigy plays...
"From parts unknown...weighing 321 lbs...Y2K!!!!"
"Get In The Ring" by Guns 'N Roses plays...
"Led towards the ring by Nurse Payne,from Intercourse, Pa, weighing 350 lbs...TOOL!!!!"
MATCH RESULT:Y2K did a flying elbow from behind and got TOOL's attention. Following that
was a flurry of kicks. TOOL was put into a sleeper, but he fought it and piledrove Y2K
headfirst into the ring to knock him out for a pin.
MATCH WINNER: TOOL by pinfall
Dashington: TOOL should've won that belt, if not Misery
Jackson: Something wrong???
Dashington: Yeah I wanna know why Jakob Creed is holding the belt!
Jackson: Cause he earned it??? That's a good enough reason for me.
Dashington: Shit.
"Rocket Queen" by Guns 'N Roses plays...
The Mistress comes to the ring flailed by Tonya in her Mistress getup, with a skinny, shirtless
man in leather pants.
"You know, Confusion, you seem to have fucked up. No I'm not necessarily speaking of whatever pissed
off the Prez, although I will agree it must've been pretty bad. But, you left Onikage hanging with no
opponent. Shame on you!"
Tonya and the shirtless man shake a finger in a scolding fashion.
"Oh, and Maxxie, just to let you know a friend of Tonya's and mine right here sends his regards and wants
to know when you'll get out of the hospital so he can beat your ass again."
Jackson: I thought that was P.N. Geek who did that???
Dashington: Christ!! Don't tell me it's...
"Anyway. Onikage, if you're let down over not having a match, it's ok because I have found an opponent for you.
"Kick the P.A." by KoRn and the Dust Brothers plays...
"Accompanied by Phoenix,from Hiroshima, Japan, weighing 253 lbs....Onikage!!!!"
"Unforgiven" by Metallica plays...
"Making his debut in the TEW, from parts unknown, weighing 244 lbs...Vengeance!!!!!"
MATCH RESULT: Indeed one of the best debuts seen in RWF's history. Vengeance was
a tough one to crack as Onikage used his aerial prowess to take him down, sometimes
with success, sometimes to no avail. Vengeance counteracted a flying body press by
catching him then following up with a standing suplex for the win.
MATCH WINNER: Vengeance by pinfall
Jackson: Vengeance is going to go far I guarantee that.
Dashington: That guy...it's...it's...
Jackson: Spit it out!
Dashington: I'm sorry but P.N. Geek and leather doesn't mi--.
Jackson: Next match!
"Judge This" plays...
"From somewhere in PA, weighing 292 lbs...Onslaught!!!!"
"Angry Chair" by Alice in Chains plays...
"Accompanied by Melissa, from the deepest recesses of your mind, weighing 242 lbs...Misery!!!!!"
MATCH RESULT: Onslaught was so close to winning with a boston crab,
but Misery made it to the ropes. The match was quick paced with momentum going
back and forth, but it ended up on the ramp where Misery took out a ladder and
knocked out Onslaught. Misery made it back to beat the ten count.
MATCH WINNER: Misery by countout
Jackson: Brutal!
Dashington: I like Misery teehee
Jackson: You would. Not to say that Onslaught is much better, but I pick him over
Misery any day.
"Sick of You" by GWAR plays...
"Accompanied by Timmy the Midget, at a total combined weight of 705 lbs...Oderus Urungus
and GorGor...the Sexicutioners!!!"
"Countdown to Extinction" by Megadeth plays...
"At a total combined weight of 653 lbs...Thanos and Gorgon, Faces of Terror!!!!"
Jackson: I hope that ring is reinforced!
Dashington: How much weight is gonna be there?
Jackson: Including both teams and the ref, about 1500 lbs.
Dashington: Hey! Isn't that Thanos and Gorgon?
Jackson: Yes, why?
Dashington: SEE YA!
"Dirty" Dave Dashington takes the phones off and leaves the arena.
Jackson: Figures
MATCH RESULT: Referee Monty O'Leary tried as much as possible to keep control of the match but he decided to just stay out of the way. Thanos and GorGor took their fight throughout the crowd and into the lockers, while Gorgon and Oderus kept it pretty much in the view of the WVU Coliseum crowd. Gorgon almost won with the Destiny, then Timmy the Midget came in with a hammer and tried to hit Gorgon in the knee, but Timmy got dragged out of the ring by Thanos who returned after putting Oderus' head in the toilet! Gorgon successfully performed his move for the win.
FACES OF TERROR ARE THE #1 CONTENDERS FOR THE TAG TEAM BELTS
Jackson: Dammit Dave why did you have to leave??? This was a hell of a match! Silly boy you don't know what you are missing!
"From Waco, TX, weighing 355 lbs...J-Dog!"
"5 Minutes Alone" by Pantera plays...
"From parts unknown, weighing 261 lbs...the RWF Heavyweight Champion of the World...Jakob Creed!"
MATCH RESULT: The attack by the Sexicutioners seemed to take a lot out of Creed, but he
eventually got his momentum back to deal a barrage of moves on J-Dog. In the end, J-Dog
got desperate and tried to knock out Creed with a brick, but the referee caught him and
rung the bell.
MATCH WINNER: Jakob Creed by disqualification
Jackson: How stupid of J-Dog. Just to show that the dirtiest get caught up by something
that they don't necessarily like!
"Dirty" Dave Dashington" returns
Jackson: On behalf of "Dirty" Dave Dashington, myself, and all of the RWF, goodnight from
Morgantown.
Dashington: You mean it's over already?