EWA Presents

August 20, 1998

Derek: "Good Afternoon, this is Derek Ash coming live and at large from the Rochester EWA Arena. Tonight we have the best live entertainment that money can offer, well thats after the show. Right now we have to finish this stupid wrestling stuff before my friend here and I go WYLD next door."

A man in a tie died pair of tights with matching tank top and wild blond hair comes up, munching a bag of Mint Oreos::

WyldChyld: :: "Hey, Derek, you ready for tonight, or aren't you?"

Derek: "Yeah, but first I need your assistance in the booth Dude, Jon's come down with massive head infection. Lot's of green, slimy, crap, or so Jeanie tells me. We've got time to kill, it doesn't open for at least an hour."

WyldChyld: "Dammit, you mean I have to put on a headset and mess up my hair and say all kinds of lame things about wrestlers I don't even know and act like I like it?!"

Derek: "Well, or we could sit here and pretend we're the robots from MST2000. That could be fun too. You know, rag them about their tights, their mothers, their sisters, and hey there are a lot of cute girls in the audience."

WyldChyld: "Hey, that sounds like a blast!! I get to be Crow!"

Derek: "Ok, whatever. Hmm, tonight's a special night. Not only is it our 4 month Anniversary of the EWA on the air, but it's also the first show done entirely in DOLBY® stereo. For our fans at home who really want to become part of the action."

WyldChyld: "Hey, do we get to deafen the audience with a loud blast of music?!"

Derek: "The button is right in front of you, yeah that's right, the one marked T-Rex. Ok so we stole it from Jurassic Park, don't look at me like that."

WyldChyld: "ALL RIGHT!! I could get USED to this!! Someone put Rage in front of that speaker!!"

Derek: "Well, maybe we'd better go to the ring to see the cage match between Capital Punishment and the train. Could someone come to aisle four to cleanup a spill, mops and buckets are needed. That's right spill on aisle 4."

WyldChyld: "Oh, someone's fighting a train.. I thought you said this was boring!"

The fans are screaming for more action as the camera cuts to the ring from the commentators table. All of a sudden, lighting bolts and sounds from an electric chair, as well as other sound effects begin playing out over the loudspeakers. Capital Punishment stalks out from the back, proudly wearing an IoV shirt. Ms. Lisa is nowhere to be found. He runs into the ring and grabs the microphone from the ring announcer.

CP: "Rothschild, get out here you son of a bitch! It's pay back time!

Just then, a loud "Choo Choo" blares out over the arena's sound system as "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine kicks in. The D.I. fans go ballistic, mainly because The Train is squaring off against a member of IoV. The Train himself calmly steps from the back with a smile on his face and a look that says "I know something you don't know". He points to the back and the curtains part again and......IT'S MS. LISA! Ms. Lisa is with The Train. No, wait.....it's not Ms. Lisa but it looks a lot like her. But CP doesn't know it's NOT Ms. Lisa and he is going ballistic, screaming for The Train to get into the ring. Cappy really doesn't know that it's NOT Ms. Lisa. TT and "Ms. Lisa" casually walk down to the ring, pausing to laugh at CP occasionally. TT finally get's in the ring and "Ms. Lisa" stays on the outside. CP tries getting at TT right away but the ref holds him back and motions for the cage to be lowered.

The cage lowers into place and the bell rings as CP rushes in immediately at TT. Train calmly steps out of the way and CP goes crashing into the turnbuckle. He regains his senses again and rushes at TT again. Train again calmly steps out of the way, sending CP bouncing off the ropes with the momentum. On the way back, TT calmly sticks his foot out, tripping CP to the mat. The fans begin laughing as CP get's to his feet, screaming and throwing a temper tantrum like a 2 year old. In a fit of rage and stupidity, CP runs at him again, this time TT executes a drop toe hold. TT stands with one foot on CP's back and holds his hands up, like he just killed a dragon or something. The Train picks him up again and decks him with a couple of hard rights, then backs him into the turnbuckle. He whips CP into the far side and runs in, nailing Cappy with a stinger splash type maneuver. CP staggers out from the corner and TT plants him on the mat with a piledriver. Just then, 2 chairs and 3 tables drop from the ceiling and land in the ring. TT grins from ear to ear as he sets up one of the chairs and whips CP into the ropes, then lifts him up......BAM! Power slam onto the steel chair! TT goes for the cover. 1....2.....No! Kick out by CP. TT begins lifting Cappy to his feet, but CP nails him with a low blow and "Ms. Lisa" squeals on the outside.

CP climbs to his feet while TT rolls around, whining like a little girl and holding his crotch. CP let's out a war cry as he holds a chair high above his head, then brings it down crashing onto TT's face! TT lays still as CP set's up a table against the side of the cage, then goes back and picks the Train up to his feet. OH! CP just irish whipped TT through the table and into the side of the steel cage! TT slumps down the side as blood trickles from his forehead. Meanwhile, CP set's up another table in the middle of the ring, then grabs the two chairs and set's them up on top of the table. He walks over to TT, picks him up and drags him over to the corner. CP climbs to the top ropes, pulling The Train up with him. OH GOD! CP just power bombed TT off the top rope onto the chairs and THROUGH the table. CP goes for the pin 1.....2.....3...NO! No! "Ms. Lisa" screamed something at CP who broke the cover to go over and scream something back at her. CP goes over to the cage as TT starts to get to his feet. Train races to the cage and starts climbing just below CP. CP get's to the top and get's one foot over the cage....the second! TT just get's to the top! CP AND TT ARE TRADING FISTS! CP lost his balance! OH! CP just fell from the top of the cage and landed BACK FIRST on the steel guardrail TT stands up on the very top of the cage screaming in anger as CP lays draped across the guardrail. "Ms. Lisa" pulls something out of her purse and throws it up to TT. It's a brick! Train jumps off from the top! NO!!!!!! Oh my god! TT just BROKE the brick over the face of Capital Punishment. IoV bursts from the back as TT grabs "Ms. Lisa" and the two of them leave via the fans.

Derek: "Did you hear Cappy's back snap when he hit that guard rail off the cage."

WyldChyld: "All I gotta say is I was gypped! You said there was going to be a Train!" "Ohh, and the back snapping was cool, but can he pop his toes?"

>Pops his toes over and over and over and over...<

Derek: "Yeah, he sounded like a Chair shot to Corey Wolfe's face."

WyldChyld: "That was low, man, that was really low. I can't believe you insulted chairs that way! It's bad enough they only see our asses!"

Derek: "Speaking of asses, isn't that Rob Dalton and Frazer Fury down on the front row."

Derek: "And what better thing could happen to two wonderful chums like them. I do believe we should see the replay. I knew Frazer's head would eventually grow big enough to explode, but I never expected to be there to see it."

WyldChyld: "That's right, but I can't see how Robby's exploded like that.. usually it's up Frazer's ass..."

Derek: "Oh, the humanity, I mean insanity of it all. We just might have to start a Graveyard for this one. Nah, it's already way over done. Speaking of grave yards. Violent Dark, aka. chocolate is up against the retired Worlds Champion next."

WyldChyld: "Who would have thought he would accept a match against Scotty Jaguar... wait.. he's DECWF World Champ.. um... retired.. let's see... Oh!! BUBBLES!"

Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails begins playing over the sound system as Violent Dark comes through the entrance. He begins making his way to the ring, but when he gets about half way down, his music suddenly stops. Dark looks around with a confused look on his face as the voice over starts. The fans go nuts as the phrase... "I'm coo coo for Coco Puffs" is repeated again and again as Violent Dark finishes his trip to the ring. The camera cuts back to the production truck, just in time to see VP Freeman closing the door. It's apparent that he switched the tape out, and he has a satisfied look on his face as he makes his way into the building. He goes past the locker rooms and the training area, stopping for a moment, to pick up a dull silver haliburton. Freeman continues toward the arena floor, and as soon as he goes through the curtain, Bonecrusher by Soul Hat starts to play. Freeman has a wide grin on his face as he strolls down to the ring. Violent Dark, simply stands there, never taking his eyes off his opponent. Freeman reaches the ringside area and climbs into the ring. He calls, impatiently for the microphone and adjusts it before speaking.

Freeman: Alright Tootsie Roll, I'm gonna give you a choice here. You can either stay in this ring, and be on the recieving end of the absolute WORST beating of your life, or... you can just turn your ass back toward the locker rooms and find a nice, dark corner to sit in.

Freeman holds the microphone out to Dark, who reaches out and grabs it.

Violent Dark: The only thing I want to know, Freeman, is that you brought my belt!!

Freeman's eyebrows go up at this and he adopts a smirk. He reaches down to the haliburton and picks it up, indicating that the belt is safely inside. Freeman shrugs his shoulders and takes the briefcase to the apron, telling the ref to ring the bell and get this show going.

VD wastes no time, he catches Freeman by surprise with a shoulder block to the gut and follows up with a knee lift. Freeman's head snaps back like a whip and he flies back, flat on his back. VD reaches down and drags him to his feet, whipping him to the ropes. Freeman rebounds right into the feet of VD as he executes a BEUTIFUL dropkick!! Freeman is staggered as VD pelts him with rights and lefts, pushing Freeman back into the corner. VD runs to the opposite corner and runs out, he leaps into a corner splash, but NO!!!! Freeman moves out of the way at the last possible second, sending VD crashing, face first into the corner!!! Freeman staggers to VD and slowly, picks him up into a fireman's carry. Freeman starts spinning around and at the right moment, releases VD, who spins around in mid air as he crashes to the mat onto his chest. Freeman is still shaking the cobwebs as he walks over to the apron. He picks the haliburton up and tells the ref to turn around. The ref starts shaking his head, and Freeman holds a hand up, making the international sign of money. The ref turns around as Freeman advances on VD. Freeman raises the haliburtan above his head as VD gets, shakily to his feet, but before he can slam the case down on him, VD delivers a VICIOUS kick to the gut, making Freeman drop the case. Freeman doubles over in pain as VD picks the case up, looking at it, then to Freeman, then back to the case. VD raises the case, and SLAMS it down on Freeman's back. VD throws the case aside as Freeman falls to the mat. The ref turns just in time to see VD cover Freeman, and he rushes over to count. 1-2- thrNOOO!!! Freeman drapes his left leg over the bottom rope, causing the break. VD gets to his feet and reaches down to pick Freeman up, but wait!! Freeman grabs VD by the front of his trunks and gives a yank, knocking VD off balance and right out of the ring, through the ropes. Freeman rolls out of the ring and meets VD as he is getting to his feet. Freeman takes VD and rams him into the ring post. Freeman then grabs VD again, and scoops him up... and DOWN into a massive bodyslam!! Freeman runs his thumb over his throat as he picks VD up again, rolling him into the ring. Freeman follows him in and picks VD up, nailing the EXTREME PLEX!!! Freeman covers!! 1-2-3!!!!!!! Freeman wins!!!! The ref comes over to raise Freeman's arm in victory, but Freeman has already exited the ring and goes tearing up the eisle toward the entrance, after scooping up the haliburtan and the microphone. As he runs up the aisle, he says...

Freeman: Sorry I can't stay for the celebration, but I got something that needs to be done!!

Freeman tosses the mic to a stage hand and runs right out of the arena.

Derek: "I'm sorry you folks had to see that shameless attempt at bribery. But if Wyld here goes off on a tangent we aren't liable to get back this week. Anyway, VD loses again, but hey that's how it should be. His match with Artful has been recorded and taped and should be available next week on PPV. I'm sorry but the executives gave up showing it on regular TV."

WyldChyld: " Tiiiiiiiny bubllllles.... iiiiin the wiiiiiiine...."

Derek: "Whew, at least he didn't go into his version of Prince's "Darling Nikki.".

WyldChyld: "I don't know that, but I can sing "Rasberry Beret!" Hey.. quit looking at me like that and tell me who the jackasses in the ring are..."

Derek: "I do believe it's Pimp Daddy J the baddest Bitch Slapper in the league and the notorius Drifter. Who's been on a highway to hell and who we just wish would reach his destination once."

WyldChyld: "I hated that song. The scenery sucks.. are we THERE yet?!"

Pimp Daddy J vs. Drifter

The camera pans around the sellout crowd in the arena. The camera swings around to the entryway as "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy blares from the speakers and Pimp Daddy J comes out in his usual attire with a bruised-up Dianne at his side. He strides to the ring making slap motions to the women at ringside, as all of a sudden, the Drifter runs up behind him and knocks him down with a clothesline. Dianne runs back towards the locker room area as Drifter picks PDJ up and scoop slams him on the outside. He removes the padding and sets PDJ up for the Highway Robbery, but PDJ raises his neck and throws Drifter over his head!

PDJ picks Drifter up by the head and slams his ribs into the guardrail twice, and throws him in the ring. PDJ grabs a chair and jumps in the ring and smacks Drifter across the back. He tosses the chair aside then picks Drifter up the hair, picks him up and suplexes him. He bounces off the ropes and drops a leg across Drifter's throat and covers him. 1, 2, no. PDJ picks Drifter up again, Irish whips him and knocks him down with a lariat. He sets the chair up and sits Drifter on it. He goes to the top rope but misses a dropkick! Drifter capitalizes and starts stomping on PDJ's right leg. PDJ stands up, and is shoulder-blocked down by Drifter. Drifter stands on the second rope and comes off with a big splash! 1, 2, th--no! He stands up and drops an elbow across PDJ's chest. He stands back up but is kicked in the groin by PDJ. Drifter staggers into the corner as PDJ stands up. He and Drifter tie up, PDJ kicks him in the gut and hits a Fisherman's suplex! 1, 2, thr-NO!

Both men jump to their feet simultaneously but Drifter hits a right cross that knocks PDJ to the seat of his polyester pants. He picks PDJ up by the ears, picks him up for a press slam, and lets go, dropping PDJ on his stomach! Drifter jumps outside and brings in a table and a 2X4 from underneath the ring. He sets the table up, then grabs the 2X4 and charges at PDJ, who falls and hits a drop-toe-hold, slamming Drifter's face into the mat! Drifter stands up groggily with a bloody nose. He turns to PDJ who now has the 2X4, and PDJ smacks him across the face with the 2X4 making blood spray all over the fans in the front row! He drapes a limp Drifter across the second rope, runs at him, but misses a stun-gun attempt and crotches himself across the middle rope! Drifter stand up, lifts PDJ across his shoulders, and hits a Death Valley Driver! Drifter now picks PDJ up and takes him to the top rope near the table. He sets PDJ up, and super plexs him through the table! A cover, 1, 2, thre--NO!!!

WyldChyld: "Yes, that's right, people, we have to stop DUI. DUI has been the cause of more pain, more suffering, more... dare I say it... CARNAGE than any other source, including the Imitators of Violet."

Derek: "Oh, that's cute. What do you think of the Rat squad, or something like that."

WyldChyld: "Dead. And loving it."

Derek: "Hmm, sounds like our friends in the DECWF. Besides that we now have the start of a new world here in the EWA. We now present the beginnings of a new section. The EWA's salute to bi-couples, I mean tag teams."

WyldChyld: "That's right, and the first of our prize winners gets an all expenses paid (by themselves) trip to the Oyster Blue Aqua Strip club, courtesy of Rat Squad."

Derek: "That place is so exclusive we won't even force our camera crews to go in there, I mean they can't get in."

WyldChyld: But these guys were sick - KIND!! I meant kind... enough to give us a detailed explanation. Welcome... Violence Inc.!"

Chip: Ladies and Gentlemen....are you ready ???

{{ The crowd shouts back...YES !!!!!!!!!}}

Chip: O.K. without further adue.......lets go to this event.......this involves 3 popular EWA tag teams...that have grudges against each other....this is a 3 team battle royal.....the only way to win is to throw your opponent over the top ropes.....the last one left standing is the winner............!!!!!!!..

{{ " Somebody to Shove " by Soul Asylum roars over the audio system.....}}

Chip: Making their way out to the ring at this time....the team that cost Violence Inc. their inaugral loss in the first even sanctioned EWA tag team match.....weighing in at a total combined weight of 507 lbs...they are Shinju and Gaijin.......together they are Original Krimez !!!!!!!!!!......

{{ They come out to a chorus of boos and the crowd is throwing garbage at them and a cup of soda goes off Shinju's head and he charges the crowd and security stops him and instructs him to go to the ring.....they strut to the ring and prop themselves up on the top turnbuckles......and await their opponents....." The South is Doing it Again" by Charlie Daniels plays over the speakers.....}}

Chip: Making their way to the ring at this time.......the team that had the very 1st tag team win in EWA history....standing at a combined weight of 609 lbs......Dangerous Duke and Psycho Paul.....here is Southern Justice...!!!!!!!!

{{ They make their way from the back and someone throws a inflatable sheep wearing a garter belt at them.......Paul gets excited and Duke has to restrain him as they go towards the ring and stand outside the ring by the time keeper........Suddenly " Head Like A Hole " by Nine Inch Nails plays over the system.....}}

Chip: Last but not least....these two were cheated of a win last week and they are looking to settle the score......at a combined weight of 546 lbs.....Darren Roberts and Adam Ripley....Violence Inc. !!!!!

 {{ They come out to a chorus of cheers and rants as they seem to be the favorite here tonight.........and they immediatley jump in the ring and attack Original Krimez as Southern Pride sits patiently out of the ring.......maybe these two hicks aren't that stupid.....}}

Ding............Ding............Ding.........

{{ Roberts goes right after Shinju and works him over in the corner as Ripley throws Gaijin into the ropes and hits a Hurricana...and topples Gaijin over. Ripley runs over to the corner to help Roberts and they pummel Shinju into a pulp.......Gaijin works his way up and runs at the group and delivers a dropkick that sends all three wrestlers falling. Gaijin is hopping about and it looks like Southern Pride is gonna get in the mix finally........Duke comes in and grabs Gaijin who is not looking and plave him between his legs and delivers a bonecrushing Powerbomb....and Paul comes in with the timekeeper's bell and smacks Gaijin in the head opening up a nasty cut.....and Paul gives off a loud........YAAHHOOOOO!!!!!!!..and the crowd responds back....Roberts makes his way to his feet and comes from behind Paul and delivers a Full Nelson Slam....and Duke Clothelines Roberts as soon as Paul is dropped. Duke throws Roberts into the turnbuckles and Paul finally gets up and tries to get the big man out quickly.....Shinju gets up and runs to the ropes and delivers a drop kick right to the back of the head of Paul sending the man over the top ropes and onto the floor...he is out..Duke turns around and Shinju gets a running leap at Duke and Duke catches him and administers a severe Back Breaker.......Shinju is on his back writhing in pain........Ripley gets up and charges Gaijin who is still knocked out and drops a legdrop on the coma like Gaijin. Roberts grabs Duke and spins him around and hits him with a short arm clothesline...taking the big man off his feet.....Ripley signals for the Act Of Violence and accends to the top ropes while Roberts picks up Gaijin and Powerbombs him to the mat and is immediately followed by Ripley with the leg drop........the crowd is going wild.....Roberts picks up the lifeless Gaijin and easily tosses him over the top ropes....and at that point Paul comes from the back and attacks Gaijin with a horse shoe knocking the man down and continues to pummel him...and security has to rip him off while the EMT's run down the ramp to tend after Gaijin who has developed a real bad gash. Back in the ring......Roberts picks up Shinju and hits him with a series of knees to the abdomen and throws him into the ropes and delivers a Big Boot and Ripley follows up with a Frogsplash from the top ropes.....They try to throw him out of the ring but Duke gets up and Hits Ripley in the back and takes him away while Shinju starts to hit Roberts........Shinju goes inside his trunks and grabs a handful of powder and throws it into the eyes of Roberts. The big man is staggered and swings at anything moving......Ripley gets in the way and Roberts lays him out...and starts to choke Ripley......Shinju and Duke just stand and watch....Duke picks up Roberts by the hair and gives a Inverted DDT and the big man is hurt while Ripley is laying on the ground and Shinju clamps on a figure four and Ripley is screaming in the ring....Roberts gets up and staggers over to Duke and Duke throws him through the ropes.......Duke then turns his attention to the mess on the ground known as Adam Ripley and drops a series of vicious elbows.......Wait there is a woman coming from the fan seats and makes her way up to the ring and steps in and Duke is looking astonished....she is a beautiful woman and blows a kiss to Duke...he is blushing..and She reaches inside her purse and pulls out a mega bottle of hairspray and starts to spray her hair....Duke turns around and The woman lets down her scarf........OH MY.........it's Cassie Ripley, Adam's wife........she reaches in her purse and retrieves a lighter and as Duke turns around.........OH MY GOD..........A FIREBALL RIGHT IN DUKE'S FACE !!!!!!!!!! he staggers back into the rope and Duke's Face is on Fire.........IT'S ON FIRE!!!!!!!!! as he staggers back.......Roberts who is still on the utside.......pulls down the rope and Duke topples out....the fans pour beer on Duke's face to estinguish the fire..and the EMT's race out.......}}

  {{ The EMT's take out Duke and the crowd chants EWA. Roberts gets back in the ring since he was not eliminated since he went through the ropes and not over and grabs Shinju and signals to Ripley for the Act Of Violence...........Wait......Ripley slides out and retrieves a table and sets it up in the middle of the ring as the crowd is still chanting......EWA .....EWA........EWA...Roberts picks Shinju way up high while Ripley goes to the top and CRASH!!!!!!!!! Roberts Powerbombs Shinju through the table and Ripley Drops the Leg from the top and they toss him over to Cassie who in turns throws him OVER the top rope..........Now it is Roberts and Ripley in the ring.......there can only be one winner....they stare at each other then they turn their back to each other and jump over the top ropes eliminating themselves at the same time....and the only one in the ring now..is ...Cassie Ripley??.......The crowd chants CASSIE........CASSIE..........CASSIE....... we could very well have a NEW woman of the EWA here tonight and could very well be the most extreme one we have ever seen!!!!!!!!..

Derek: "Well, that was very enlightning. Wyld, you do a hell of a Jim Ross impersonation. The only thing that dragged the fun was the match."

WyldChyld: "And even that was... yeah, it sucked. NEXT!"

Derek: "Hmm, I do believe we have another match. This has got to get better or im going to cry."

WyldChyld: "Aww, geez, man, don't cy... just think of the fun we have planned for after this..!"

Derek: "Hmm, Shirley Splits and her sister Ivanna. You are right I have a lot to look forward to."

WyldChyld: " Yes, jug one and jug two... NEXT!"

Derek: "It looks like a storm front is going to hit our own man of annihilation."

WyldChyld: "Good thing I brought the raincoat, umbrella, and cheese whiz..."

Chris Douglas vs. Jason Storm

The camera focuses on the ring and John Stephenson, an EWA announcer is in the ring wearing a black Tuxedo.

John Stephenson: This next match is a no disqualification, no holds barred, bring your own weapons match. Coming down the ring first, standing 6' 4" tall and weighing in at 238 lbs., accompanied by his wife Vanessa, he is the master of the Storminator Power-Bomb, the one, the only Jason "The Punisher" Storm!!!

"Make Em Say Uughhh" by Master P begins to pound through the arena as Jason "The Punisher" Storm walks out of the entranceway with his lovely wife Vanessa. As he walks down to the ring, you see he is pulling a little red wagon. Inside the wagon is a medium sized microwave oven, a VCR and a cheese grater. He walks down to the ring, parks the wagon and gives Vanessa a kiss before stepping into the ring. Vanessa turns and walks back to the locker rooms.

 John Stephenson: His opponent is one of the founding members of Devastation, Inc. He is the master of both the punishing End of the Line submission hold and the devastating Chi-Town Shocker. Standing 6'6" and weighing in at 256 lbs., he is "The Extreme Annihilation" Chris Douglas.

 "Better Than You" by Metallica blasts through the building as Chris Douglas swaggers out of the entranceway. He is dragging a metal garbage in one hand and a hood from a 1978 nova in the other. You can see a large 5' wooden post wrapped in barbwire sticking out of the can and a men's urinal with the initial SK written on the back in bold red lettering is also in the garbage can.

 He slowly makes his way down to the ring. He gets to the ring and throws the car hood and the garbage can into the ring. He climbs into the ring and as he steps through the ropes, Storm picks up the car hood, runs at him and attempts to hit him with it.

 Douglas ducks and nails Storm in the midsection with a kick. Storm drops the hood, which is then picked up by Douglas. Douglas rears back and nails Storm across the back with the car hood, dropping him to the mat. CD rears back again and nails JS over the back again. CD drops the hood, raises his arms and screams out to the crowd.

 Douglas goes to pick up Storm, but gets nailed by an elbow to the nuts. Storm staggers to his feet runs at Douglas and lifts a high knee, knocking Douglas down. Storm runs at the ropes, rebounds and drops an elbow on CD. JS gets up and starts laying the boots to CD. He picks up CD, whips him into the ropes and nails him with a power slam right onto the car hood. He lays on top of CD for the cover. The ref counts...1...2...Douglas lifts his shoulder.  

JS pounds the mat in anger as he gets up and lifts up Douglas for a body slam. CD slips out and has Storm in a reverse headlock. CD nails him with a reverse DDT. Douglas grabs the post wrapped in barbwire and leans it in the corner. He picks up Storm and Irish whips him into the corner. JS hits the post and the barbwire rips a huge cut in his midsection. Blood starts to flow as JS holds his stomach.

 Douglas picks up the post and nails it across Storm's back opening more cuts. Storm falls back against the turnbuckle. CD Lifts Storm onto the top turnbuckle, climbs up, grabs him in a front headlock and superplexes him right onto the post wrapped in barbwire. Storm writhes around on the ground in agony.

 Storm rolls out of the ring and falls to the ringside floor near the wagon he brought down to the ring. Douglas slides out of the ring and walks around the ring to get Storm. He goes to grab Storm but gets nailed in the face with a VCR. Blood splatters all over the fans at ringside as Douglas falls to the ground. Storm nails Douglas over the head and the VCR shattering it into several pieces. Douglas lays on the ground nearly unconscious.  

Storm rolls Douglas into the ring and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He flies off trying to land an elbow drop, but CD rolls out of the way at the last second. Both Douglas and Storm stagger to their feet. The two men exchange blows in the center of the ring. Storm rakes Douglas in the eyes and whips him into the ropes. He grabs him and puts him into a sleeper hold. Douglas flails around trying to get out of the hold. CD continues struggling, wraps his arms around Storm's head and drops down in a stunner type maneuver.

 Storm staggers to his feet and slumps against the top ring rope. CD runs at him and nails a cross-body block that sends both men over the top tope, out of the ring and onto the floor. Storm is the first one up and he grabs CD by the hair and slams him into the guardrail.

Douglas comes back with a punch to the stomach. He throws JS face first into the ring post. CD rolls Storm into the ring. Douglas jumps into the ring, picks up the urinal and mounts the middle turnbuckle. Storm is on his knees as CD flies off and nails his opponent over the head with the urinal. Porcelain flies everywhere as Storm slumps forward onto his front. CD wastes no time and slaps on the End of the Line. Storm, barely conscious can do nothing but tap out.

Derek: "Well that match was thoroughly intoxicating."

WyldChyld: "No it wan't, I'm still sober... Man, I thought at least Irish Rebel would come down so we could get a brew!! Dammit, I think Jon stuck gumm on the seat!"

Derek: "That's not gum!"

WyldChyld: "Aw, geez, ma, you don't let me have no fun!! Hey... what's going on in the ring now?"

Derek: "Oh yeah, we have those to freaks who kept calling everyone gay vs. the aussie and the well i dont know how to describe the other nutso."

WyldChyld: "He's... um... a head... yeah.. he's the brains of the outfit... the head man... a real thinker... he's got his hat on straight...

Derek: "Hmm, methinks the pundit has struck and horribly at that."

WyldChyld: "Yeah, well, you may think I'm punny... but I'm not. Can we watch the match now?"

Troubles in tag team land

"Louder Than a Bomb" rips through the speakers and out comes the Lasting Impression, Nigel Hayes and James Head, running to the ring. They get there and instantly start playing the crowd, which is getting more and more behind them, until "Breathe" by Prodigy plays and the crowd is on it's feet, cheering. Head stays in the ring and Eaton instantly vaults over the ropes into a missile drop kick that send Head to the mat. Instantly Eaton is pounding away, slamming him with rights and lefts. Head is backed into the corner and whipped into the opposite corner, where Nigel Hayes is. Eaton goes for a drop kick... BUT HAYES HOLDS HEAD BACK! Eaton hits the mat and is rolling in pain, holding his elbow. Head tags in Hayes, shaking off the cobwebs, and Hayes runs in and hits a picture perfect leg drop! Hayes picks Eaton up and whips him into the far ropes, going for a clothesline. Eaton ducks under and both he and Hayes hit opposite ropes. Both go down with a double clothesline, but Hayes gets up first. He looks around, confused, and sees Eaton crawling to the corner. He runs to stop him, but Eaton makes the tag! McManus jumps over the ropes and starts kicking Hayes in the chest and head! Speaking of Head, here he comes! Head tackles McManus and starts pummeling him with rights and lefts! The ref pulls Head off, and Hayes DDT's McMANUS! He slaps on a figure four... AND HEAD IS ON THE ROPES!! WHERE DID HE COME FROM?! He hits a frogsplash... OH, THAT IS ONE IMPRESSIVE FIGURE FOUR! McManus refuses to tap out, and Eaton comes from the corner to get Head off of his partner with a leg drop!! OH MY!! HEAD MOVED, AND EATON HIT McMANUS!! McManus' head slams into the mat, and he's out!! The ref pulls Eaton and Head aside and checks McManus... he's signaling for the bell!! LASTING IMPRESSION WINS OUT OF NOWHERE!!!

Derek: "Yeah, someone almost died, where did you get this cool link to the ufc's new channel. I have to get a small portable dish like this."

WyldChyld: "Just $99999999999.99 At Waldos House o' gadgits... or free, cause it fits in your pocket, either way, it's a real... steal."

Derek: "Hey, we're only two matches off. Looks like this could be a real scorcher. Dean the machine vs. the wrath of Scott the bod Johnson, wait did I just say that. Oh, I'm so baaaad."

WyldChyld: "Bad as a day old Potater, and I think DEANIE WEENIES IS GONNA WIN!!!"

Derek: "Oh, no, the DECWF revisited. I think I'm going to be sick."

WyldChyld: "Muahaha"

Dean the Machine vs. Scott Johnson

As the camera pans around the arena there are tons of screaming and yelling fans jumping up and down as "Bombtrack" by Rage Against the Machine begins to play over the arena sound system and out from the back steps Scott Johnson. As he walks through the gate and through the entrance way his arms are raised in the air and the crowd seems to erupt!!!! After a few seconds of applause and crowd approval he turns and begins to jog to ringside and he hops up on the apron and once again raises his hands to the crowd. As he begins to step into the ring and under the top rope, "The Sound of Free Speech" begins to play over the PA system and Dean McGrath walks through the entranceway. As he begins to make his walk down to ringside fireworks spray from the sides and the crowd seems to favor him also. His opponent SJ is already in the ring and waiting for DM to make his way down to ringside. SJ begins circling the ring waiting as DM finally makes it to ringside and begins to walks around the ring studying his surroundings and playing with SJ head.. Once settled DM takes off his entrance attire and then hops up on the apron himself. DM leaps over the top rope and gives a cold stare to SJ as the referee singles for the bell. The match has begun.  

The two men at once run at each other and begin swinging vicious blows sporadically at each other. DM seems to have smacked SJ directly in the face stunning him for just enough time to grab him and slam him to the ground. SJ holding his back stands up and charges once again, but DM drops and counters with a drop toe hold into a spinning toe lock. SJ screaming in pain, reaches for the rope and grabs it quickly as the referee calls for the break DM begins to kick SJ repeatedly in the head causing him to fall to the ground holding his head. It appears a cut has opened up right below SJ eye and it begins bleeding slowly. DM reaches down and picks SJ off of the mat and as SJ begins to get to his feet, SJ grabs DM out of nowhere by his neck and rolls him up in a small cradle.... the referee slides on the mat and quickly goes for the count.... 1........2..... NO! DM kicked out and quickly gets to his feat and charges at SJ with a running forearm, but SJ out of nowhere blocks the forearm and grabs DM arm. SJ flings DM against the far ropes and Whammmmmm!!!!!! SJ just hit DM with a Devastating Sidewalk Slam sending him bouncing on his neck. Dm is kneeling on the mat holding his neck and head bent over slightly. SJ sees an opening and he sprints full speed and kicks DM hard to the back of the head. A very loud and sickening thud can be heard around the arena as DM grabs the back of neck and screams in pain. As DM is on the mat trying to get something going SJ jumps out of the ring and walk over to the ring announcers table and grabs the match bell. SJ chugs the bell in the ring and hops back up on the apron. DM get to his feet just as SJ steps back into the ring and DM slides and clips SJ leg right out from under him. SJ is on the mat kicking around as his knee appears to be in a great deal of pain. DM walks over and drags SJ into the middle of the ring and the bell that SJ tossed in appears to have bounced over to the top-left corner of the ring. DM begins to kick and punch SJ knee. SJ appears to be on the verge of passing out as it looks as though his knee may have been dislocated. DM sees an open and he steps in grabs SJ other leg and OHHHHHHHHHH

 MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DM just flipped SJ over and hit the Shaolin Sword!!!!!!!!!! SJ is flopping around in pain, yelling as his knee definitely appears to be dislocated. As the pain begins to stir in his knee SJ begins to attempt to go for the ropes. As the referee gets up in SJ face asking if he wants to give blood is pouring out of of the cut now because of the pressure being applied to him and the strain of reaching for the ropes. As SJ energy is almost depleted, DM tries to stand up and apply the hold a little better and that gvies SJ just enough room to reach out and grab the bell. As he clutches the bell in his hands it has a heavy wooden-square base and a bell mounted on it's top. SJ somehow manages to turn just enough and he heaves the wooden bell into the back of DM as hard as he can. The bell has opened a huge gash in DM back and he drops the hold screaming in pain and hunching over. Blood is flying all over the place as DM pulls the lodged bell out of his back and collapses from the pain. Both men are down. and the referee begins the count 1............2............3............4............5............6 both men appear to be stirring around now and trying to get to there feet 7............8 Both me are almost standing up 9............ 

Once both men are at there feet DM leaps and takes out the knee of SJ once more with a vicious spear....... SJ appears to be in need of medical attention. The referree is asking if he wants to call the match and SJ refuses. DM picks up SJ leg and once again SNAP! slaps on the Shaolin Sword!!!!!!!!!! SJ gives after a few seconds and the Referee calls for the bell.

Derek: "God, if I see another Shaolin sword I think I'm going to have to miss our date tonight with the twins."

WyldChyld: "Hehehe... actually, they do this NICE variation of the Shaolin Swird... see, they have this two sided... HEY!! No peekin'!"

Derek: "She said I could. Anyway, it's time for the main event. Are you ready to watch them rumble."

WyldChyld: "Ummm... I'm out of Mint Oreaos, dude... I guess there's nuthin' better to do..."

Grayson VS Cyris

The Extreme-Tron comes to life in the arena, showing the scene of the next match. The camera pans across the prison activity ground, showing that a sizable crowd of inmates has gathered in order to witness this spectacle, as well as participate. A fence has been erected around the workout area with only one entrance, thus ensuring that neither competitor will be allowed to escape. It's time for the combatants to appear. Tommy Grayson is the first to come through the surging crowd, surrounded by prison guards.Of course, since this is a weapons match as well, he has his plunder. (God I can't believe I just said that.) Anyway, Grayson is carrying a duffle bag, much like the one he carried to the ring last week. It's filled with all kinds of interesting, yet painful looking items. The crowd of inmates parts in front of him, mostly because of the cattle prods that the prison guards are carrying. Grayson finally makes it inside the cage and awaits Cyris. A majority of the inmates begin to boo as cyris enters the activity yard. Apparently, they are still feeling the sting of Cyris turning on their brethren, Death Row. Cyris walks straight toward the makeshift ring with a cocky look on his face. As he passes the camera, it's revealed that he's carrying a pair of wicked looking nightsticks. Cyris reaches the ring and enters, the door closing behind him. All the inmates, as one, yell the word... "GO" and this match is underway. Grayson wastes mo time, and rushes at Cyris, who is caught off guard. Grayson takes him down with a flying tackle and begins slamming the back of his head into the cement ground. Looks like Grayson is still smarting from what happened last week. He's like a madman in there, showing no mercy!! Grayson stands and drags Cyris to his feet. He takes a dazed Cyris to the side of the cage and rakes his face against the chain link, opening a small gash on his brow. Grayson whips Cyris to the other side of the cage, and he slams into it with enough force to make the whole thing start shaking. Cyris is down and Grayson takes the oppurtunity to open his duffle bag. He rings out a length of razor wire with small handles attached to each end, and a collapsable knightstick. With a flick of his wrist, the nightstick is popped out to it's full length and he advances on Cyris with a mad look in his eye. Grayson reaches the place where Cyris is laying and raises the nightstick above his head, but Cyris, in desperation, rolls right into Grayson's legs, knocking him off balance. Grayson falls and hits his head on one of the supports that keeps the cage up. The sound is like a pistol shot as Grayson's head bounces off the hollow steel tube. Grayson rolls on the ground as a sizable welt raises on his forhead. Cyris gets slowly to his feet and is just in time to meet a couple of visitors. The first of the inmates has entered the ring. Both men are obviously Death Row fans, because they start pounding on Cyris. One man holds Cyris' arms behind him as the other beats him about the head and shoulders. Suddenly, the one that is beating Cyris is knocked away by a nightstick. BY GRAYSON!!!! The inmate is knocked out and Grayson turns to the other. He drops Cyris and advances on Grayson, who delivers the same punishment as he gave the first. As a couple of guards come in to drag the unconscious inmates out, and Grayson is overheard to say... "He's MINE!!!" Grayson goes over and picks Cyris up. He places him into a side headlock and runs straight for the side of the cage!! He's using Cyris as a battering ram!!! NOOO!!!! Cyris gets out of the headlock and gives Grayson a shove in the back, sending him face first into the side of the cage!!!! The whole cage is send shaking again as Grayson slowly turns around and staggers a little before falling flat on his face. Cyris wipes the blood from his eyes and looks around for something. He spots it, and goes over to the duffle bag that Grayson brought in. Cyris leans down and opens the bag, upturning it. As the contents spills out onto the ground, cyris picks out a pogo stick and goes over to where Grayson is still laying. Cyris picks Grayson up and leans him up against the side of the cage. He rears back with the pogo stick and swings!! Luckily, Grayson is still a little shaky, and he falls just before the pogo stick sent his brains out the back of his skull. The pogo stick hits one of the support beams and the vibration causes cyris to drop the stick. Here come two more inmates. They rush at Cyris, but this time he's prepared. He hits them with a glancing blow to the chest and they fall to the ground, writhing in pain. Then, they are still. This time, the guards don't come in to drag the men out, because they're rather busy holding back the restless crowd of inmates. Cyris goes back to the attack of Grayson. He pick the groggy Grayson up and puts him into position, nailing a DDT onto the concrete. Cyris is taking his time now. He's being methodical and picky about his punishment. He goes back to the pile of goodies that he dumped out and picks out a toaster. He takes it over and lays it on Grayson's face. Then, Cyris goes to the edge of the cage and runs toward Grayson. He leaps up into a HUGE legdrop but GRAYSON ROLLS!!! Cyris lands on the toaster and rolls around in pain, clutching his leg. Grayson tries to get to his feet, but stumbles and falls. He tries again and this time, he makes it. He begins walking toward Cyris, but he's cut off from the recovered inmates that were still in the ring. The two cons begin beating on Grayson. WAIT!!! Those aren't convicts!!! It's Chris Douglas and Connor Chambers!!! Chambers holds Grayson's arms as Douglas delivers kick after kick to the gut. Teh prison guards are going crazy trying to get the door open, and one of them makes it inside!! The guard rushes forward and pulls Douglas back, then he NAILS Grayson with a DDT!!! The GUARD JUST DDT'D GRAYSON!!! Wait a second... that's no prison guard!! IT'S VP FREEMAN!!!! Freeman gets to his feet with a HUGE grin on his face and goes to help Cyris up. The inmates are getting somewhat unruly now as they surge forward, shaking the cage. The four DI members start pounding on a helpless Grayson as the crowd becomes even more incensed. Wait!! The door is opening again!!! IT'S WAYNE ROTHSCHILD!!! And he has a CATTLE PROD! Wayne advances on the DI members and threatens them with the cattle prod. The camera can barely pick up the words... "BACK THE FUCK OFF!!!" Freeman and company back off, holding their hands out in front of them. Wayne keeps a watchful eye on them as he helps Grayson to his feet. Grayson stands there on legs of jelly as Wayn threatens DI with the cattle prod again. Then he turns and NAILS Grayson in the chest with it!!!! Freeman laughs as the rest of DI converge on Grayson. Wayne rips off his EWA tee shirt, revealing a DI shirt underneath, and he high fives Freeman!! All five DI members start pounding relentlessly on Grayson. The crowd of inmates has gone out of control as they surge forward. The cage is strained under their combined weight, and finally... something snaps. The cage comes down as the convicts surge into the cage area. The cameraman is knocked to the ground as the crowd surrounds him. The Extreme-Tron goes black, leaving a stunned crowd... wondering.

Derek: "Well, that's it, another D.I. turn, another Day. Will anyone ever stand up to those freakaziods."

WyldChyld: "Never... in fact, I'm D.I. right now!! Yup... Desperately Intoxicated! TO THE SNACK SHACK!"