EWA Presents

Welcome to our special showing off Monday Night Madness

Derek: "Welcome to the hell that is my life. Sit back and enjoy the strained melodies of people shrieking in torture at my arrival. Thanks and don't forget to buy the complimentary T-shirt."

Jon: "Ooh...complimentary T-shirts

Derek: "Yeah and you can buy one for only 9.99."

Jon: "A bargain, to be sure."

Derek: "Oh yes. Here have a fudge dipped Macaroon Granola bar. They gave us 15 cases just for saying that."

Jon: "Right on."

Derek: "So anyway, it's Monday night. The girls are gone, and we just happen to have an ass kicking in the making. Looks like it could be an eventful night."

Derek: "Hello all and welcome to the third show of the EWA. We proclaimed this one in honor of all those silly space alien sightings. In essence, we called it Disasta in Nebraska. Or the cornfield massacre."

Jon: "That's right Derek, but this time, you get the anal probe."

Derek: "Hey hey hey, not me. That female cop was eyeing you up one side and down the other."

Jon: "No, not the cavity search again. I don't think I can handle another one."

Derek: "I can't help it if she weighed more than DJ Friday. Her name was Officer Craig, maybe she has a cousin named Jenny or something."

Jon: "Well, I'll be sure to let you know afterwards."

Derek: "Hey, I'll let you know that this is all muscle."

Jon: "Sure, anyway, let's get straight on to the first match."

Derek: "There you go, always changing the subject."

Jon: "Sure, I'd love a glass of mango juice, you're so kind to offer."

This next match is scheduled to be a strap match inside a ring surrounded by barbwire. The EWA workers prepare the ring by taking off the ropes and surrounding the ring with barbwire. This should be one hell of a match.

The lights dim out then go back on as "Death Fire" Jason Dragon makes his way to the ring receiving a mixture of boo's and cheers. He exchanges gestures with some of the fans that cheer him on. He walks to up to the ring inspecting it and with his approval he jumps over the barbwire.

"Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits is now blasting out of the loudspeakers as "Red Dog" Dave Slater makes his way to the ring. He is bombarded by boo's but it doesn't seem to phase him until a fan flips him off in his face. Dave walks over to him and spits right in the fans face. He walks over to the ring holding a 10-ft. leather strap in his hands. He too likes the looks of the ring and jumps over the barbwire. The two men meet face to face bumping each other's chests. There seems to be a lot of trash talking going on. The referee steps into the middle of the two men and separates them both. He grabs the right hand of Slater and puts the strap around his wrist. He then grabs Dragons right hand and secures it to his wrist.

The referee sounds for the bell....(DING DING!).... And the match begins. Both men pace around each other looking at one another waiting for the other man to make the first move. Both men tugging on the strap as if they're playing tug- o-war. Without hesitation Slater rushes Dragon but is only met with a strap across his face. Slater falls to his hands and knees and Dragon begins strapping the hell out of him. Welts begin to form on Slater's back as he begins to scream in pain. Dragon crouches over his back and wraps the strap around Slater's neck. He begins choking the life out of him. Slater's face begins to turn red and froth begins to spew out of his mouth. Slater reaches towards Dragon's left leg and begins biting him to break the hold. Dragon lets go and Slater is lying on is back gasping for air. Dragon picks up Slater and whisks him towards the barbwire but Slater reverses it and Dragon meets it back first. Dragon screams out loud as he peels himself off. The barbwire pricks at his skin and blood starts to run down his back.  

Both men stand up again. Slater kicks Dragon into the gut and Dragon falls to the mat. Slater walks over to the barbwire and begins to unravel it. He forms it into a ball and places it in the middle of the ring. He still continues to kick Dragon but misses a couple of time seeing that he can't see. He then picks up Dragon and....GOOD GOD! He gave him his Hardcore DDT right onto the ball of barbwire. He rolls him over. The barbwire is sticking to both men. The referee makes the count...One, Two, Threeee!

Jon: "Don't touch me there, you're not my mom!"

Derek: "I was just trying to hand you your mango juice."

Jon: "That's not what it felt like."

Derek: "So, anyway, This is it. This is the big week here in the EWA. This is the setup for Memorial Day Madness. Now Jon, we wouldn't shamelessly plug our own PPV now would we."

Jon: "No, of course not. But it couldn't hurt."

Derek: "We'd never mention things like, The first ever Extreme Champion will be named this Sunday night."

Jon: "Or that massive amounts of blood will be spilled all over the arena."

Derek: "And, we'd also never say that this looks to be the biggest PPV in the history of Cablevision. With the likes of JD Freeman and the Suicide King who could lose out."

Jon: "Well, people like Diablo, and Cloudfruit could."

Jon: "You realize that they're going to rip your tongue out for that."

Derek: "Hmm, nah I'll just say a little devil made me do it." {Neon lights flash off and have arrows pointing down at Jon.}

Jon: "I think it's in your contract."

Derek: "Ok, Ah hell, I just looked at the Match Card and Freeman ain't even wrestling. This is gonna be a really sucky night after all."

Jon: "Well, there's the tear gas match. That should be a laugh."

Derek: "Yeah, that jerk off Liv Kid actually thought that Lysol we sprayed into that chamber he was in was Tear Gas. What a maroon."

Jon: "He's in for a bit of a shock, eh?"

Derek: "It's going to be an eye bulger that's for sure."

Jon: "To say the least."

Cut to the parking lot. A large plexi-glass cube has been constructed around a wrestling ring. A couple of technicians are hooking up a large canister of labeled "OXYGEN" to the side of the cube. After the technicians finish, the head off to a large military truck, returning with a second canister labeled "DANGER: TEAR GAS", and escorted by two soldiers with M-16's. They hook up the canister to the cube, and disappear into the crowd.

Suicide King makes his way down to ringside as "The suck for your solution" by Marylyn Manson plays through a cheesy portable stereo that King is carrying with him. He stares for a moment at the ominous Plexi-glass cube before him. He set the stereo down, then walks through a doorway, flanked by two soldiers with M-16's, and climbs into the ring. He takes several deep breaths of the oxygen being pumped into the cube, while he still has a chance.

LivKid walks to the ring, accompanied by Tommy Grayson. As they approach the cube, the two guards lower their M-16's, and point them at Grayson, who puts his hands up, and takes a couple steps backwards. LivKid steps into the cube, and climbs into the ring, and the door closes behind him, sealing shut with a slight his.

The two men stare around the cube for a few seconds, as the armed guards escort Grayson back to the dressing room. Two other guards stand by the valve that controls the flow of tear gas into the cube. A technician stands with one hand on the valve, and looking at a stopwatch in his other hand. The bell rings, and the two combatants start to fight, locking up in the center of the ring. King gets the upper hand, and gets LivKid into a standing side headlock. LivKid counters with an atomic drop that has King gasping for breath. King turns, and ducks, as Kid tries to clothesline him. Kid bounces off the ropes, and gets hit with a drop toehold, sending him face first into the mat.

King slaps on a quick leg lock, applying pressure to the already tender knee of LivKid. LivKid twists his way around, grabbing King by the hair. King wrenches on Kid's leg again, forcing him to break the hold. Kid struggles, and finally makes his way to the ropes, where the gas mask wearing ref is forced to break the hold. LivKid pulls himself to his feet, and lunges at King, tackling him. Suddenly, a slight hissing can be heard. LivKid looks towards the top of the cube, and sees a slight mist filling the room. LivKid chuckles slightly, his training for this match is going to pay off. Kid begins to punch King in the head, several times. He stands, pulling King to his feet as well.

LivKid pulls his fist back, preparing to deck Suicide King, when his eyes begin to water. Stunned, LivKid begins to rub his eyes, but it only makes things worse.

Suicide King Takes advantage of the situation, dropkicking LivKid. King rushes to get back to his feet, then stomps on Kid. King climbs to the top rope, and catches his first whiff of the tear gas. He begins coughing, and his eyes start watering as LivKid gets back to his feet. Suicide King leaps off the top rope, nailing kid with a spinning sidekick. King, landing nimbly on his feet, kicking LivKid in the knee a couple of times. King goes for a figure four, but LivKid pushes him away with his free leg, and sends King face first into the corner. King turns, and sees LivKid rushing at him, and tries to move out of the way, but is unable to, and LivKid splashes into him. LivKid takes a few steps back, and begins to cough. King falls face first to the mat, and struggles to get back to his feet. LivKid is coughing so much, that he is doubled over. King Walks over, also coughing, and gasping, and rams LivKid's head into the plexi-glass. Blood splatters onto the glass LivKid slides down between the glass and the ring.

The flow of tear gas increases as King climbs to the top rope again. As he stands on the top rope, be begins to wobble a bit, then falls down, outside the ring, landing on LivKid. Both men are slow to get to their feet, as they cough and wheeze. LivKid throws King into the ring, and follows closely behind. LivKid stands, but his eyes are watering so badly that he can't see much of anything. He fumbles around looking for King, who is doubled over and coughing near the ropes. King gets to his feet, and looks around. He sees the gas mask hanging from the top of the cube. He climbs to the top rope, and jumps off, grabbing the gas mask. He coughs a bit then kicks LivKid in the gut. While LivKid is doubled over and coughing, King places the mask over LivKid's face, and then DDT's him! The ref signals for the bell, as the door hisses slightly, then swings open. King runs towards the door, collapsing as he gets outside. An EMT comes over with a bottle of water, and a damp cloth, and whiles down King's face. King regains his footing, and starts to head towards the building, when Grayson comes out of the crowd carrying a baseball bat wrapped with barbed wire! Grayson hits King in the back of the head with the bat, knocking him to the ground. Grayson continues to beat on King, as blood begins to flow from a large wound on his head. King, however, manages to get to his feet, and blocks another attempted shot with the bat. King nails Grayson with an uppercut that causes him to drop the bat. King then slams Grayson into the side of the cube several times, before throwing him, and slamming the door shut behind him. The ref protests, but gets a punch in the eye for his trouble. King picks up the bat as Grayson pleads for someone to open the door to the cube (which can only be opened from the outside). King walks over to the canisters, blood pouring out of the back of his head, and opens the tear gas valve to full, then busts off the handle with the bat.

Grayson begins to cough violently, as tear gas fills the chamber. King casually walks about 10 feet towards the building before collapsing from the loss of blood.

Jon: "Two down, how many to go?"

Jon: "Umm. Are you okay? It wasn't nearly that funny."

Derek: "Oh, this shit just kills me."

Jon: "Well then, maybe you should smoke so much of it."

Derek: "Hmm, could be, but where is the fun in that."

Jon: "If you want fun (hands Derek a little slip of yellow paper), put this under your tongue."

Derek: "Oh no, the last time you told me to do that I was seeing Pink Elephants for three days, and I know your sister with the TUTU only stayed for one."

Jon: "You're loss man."

Derek: "Yeah, she was pretty good."

Jon: "The TUTU adds a little something, I think."

Derek: "Yeah, it always amazes me seeing a 400 pound women in a size 4 TUTU."

Jon: "And the slippers. It's giving me a chubby just thinking about it."

Derek: "Dude, that's your sister. Oh, that's sick. Someone call my therapist."

The ring crew comes out and begins setting the stage for this brutal match up between "Hardcore" Ray Simmons and Johnny Sledge. While one group works on setting up the scaffold, another begins stacking tables on the outside. After about ten minutes, the entire set up is complete. There is a scaffold set up inside the ring, twenty feet high, and outside, the ring is surrounded by tables stacked four high. Now that the scene is set, it's time to bring out the competitors.

Hells Bells by AC/DC begins to play. The deep ringing of the bells starts it off and the crowd reacts immediately as "Hardcore" Ray Simmons comes out to make his way to the ring. He looks approvingly at the ring area and keeps his eyes there as he makes his way down. He carries in his hands a spade shovel. The silver blade glints as the arena lights reflect off of it. Once he reaches the ring, he begins the long climb to the top of the scaffold with shovel in hand. Once he reaches the top, he goes to the center of the scaffold and holds the shovel above his head, getting quite a reaction from the fans. Then, a deep rumbling can be heard from the direction of the locker room. It sounds like a motor revving up again and again. Epic by Faith No More begins to play as Johnny Sledge makes his entrance behind the wheel of a bobcat. He has a multitude of weapons loaded onto it and additionally; he's wearing a tazer around his neck on a thick, gold chain. Bit T is standing behind the driver seat and holding onto the roll cage. Sledge drives the bobcat down to the ring area and begins going through his weapons, trying to decide on which one. He holds them up, one at a time to get a reaction from the crowd. A toaster... no reaction. A cookie sheet... no reaction. A baseball bat... a small reaction. Then he holds up a baseball bat, which is wrapped in razor wire to a huge reaction from the fans. He begins his climb up the scaffold, leaving Big T at the bottom. Once he reaches the top, the ref calls for the bell and this match is underway. Simmons starts things off by rushing Sledge, shovel in hand.

Sledge takes a swing with the razor wire wrapped bat, but Simmons ducks and nails Sledge in the chest with the shovel. Sledge falls back, just catching himself before falling off the scaffold. Simmons takes the opportunity to stomp on Sledge's chest, knocking the wind out of him. Then, Simmons goes to work on Sledge's legs. He holds Sledge's left leg and starts ramming his right knee into the back of it over and over. After about five of these punishing blows, Simmons changes tactics by clamping on a step over toehold. Simmons has Sledge's leg locked in position and begins grinding on it, trying to place as much pressure on it as he can. Sledge thrashes around, trying to break the hold, but Simmons has it on too tight. Finally, in desperation, Sledge grabs the tazer from around his neck and nails Simmons in the ass with it. Simmons convulses and grabs at his ass before falling to the scaffold. He lays there convulsing as if in the throes of an epileptic fit while Sledge slowly gets to his feet. Sledge begins limping his way over to where Simmons is laying. He stops just long enough to throw the shovel that Simmons brought off of the scaffold, leaving Simmons weaponless. Sledge stands over Simmons and holds the tazer over his head, ready to bring it down on Simmons' chest. Sledge drops, about to send another tremendous shock through Simmons, but NO! Simmons grabs Sledge's arm, stopping him from hitting with the tazer. A struggle ensues, with each man fighting for possession of the tazer. Sledge is slowly gaining advantage over Simmons, who still has not fully recovered from the earlier shock. The tazer inches closer and closer to Simmons' chest.

Finally, Simmons ends it by bringing up is knee right into Sledge's groin. Sledge goes to his knees clutching at himself as Simmons gets to his feet. Simmons picks up Sledge's razor wire wrapped bat and hefts it. He allows Sledge to get to his feet. Simmons takes a swing at Sledge. Sledge jumps back to avoid the razor sharp bat, but not before having his chest sliced open. Blood begins to stream down his chest from the lacerations caused by the razor wire wrapped bat. It could have been much worse if Sledge had not jumped. Simmons throws the bat off of the scaffold, leaving both men weaponless. This apparently was some sort of cue for Big T. He begins digging through the weapons that were brought out on the bobcat and throwing them up to the scaffold. A toaster bounces off of Simmons' chest and falls to the scaffold. Simmons looks down and sees what's going on.

Simmons picks up the toaster and winds up with it. He throws it as hard as he can, bouncing it off of Big T's forehead. Big T collapses in a heap, apparently knocked unconscious. Sledge sees this and walks to the edge of the scaffold. He looks down to see if Big T was ok and when he turns around, he's met with a vicious boot to the gut. Sledge bends down and Simmons places Sledge's head between his knees. He looks to the camera and screams... "This is for you Grayson!" Simmons picks Sledge up for a powerbomb, but he turns. Simmons delivers a POWERBOMB OFF THE SCAFFOLD AND THROUGH A STACK OF TABLES! Pieces of the tables go flying in all directions as Sledge goes crashing through to the floor. Sledge lays there amid debris, completely unmoving. Simmons leisurely climbs to the floor and lays over Sledge for the cover. ONE-TWO-THREE!

Winner: Ray Simmons via Powerbomb through a stack of tables.

Jon: "Hey, that therapist of yours is good."

Derek: "Yeah, well she made me realize it was all my mother's fault and that I was just trying to get back at her. "

Jon: "And that couch is very good for...well, never-mind."

Derek: "Hey, that's doctor patient and I don't need to know that."

Jon: "Does she do that kind of stuff for you?"

Derek: "Only on every other appointment. She likes my inner child or some such shit."

Jon: "Hey, that's what she said to me. She must say that to everyone".

Derek: "Did she show you her Tattoo, you know the one?"

Jon: "Oh, you mean the one with the little thingees around it?"

Derek: "Yeah, I thought they were hearts, but on closer inspection, mumble mumble mumble"

Chris Douglas comes down to ringside for his match with SuperReactor, he passes a table setup in the middle of the aisle and sees 3 flaming tables surrounding the ring. Douglas stands in the ring and awaits SR. SR is walking towards the aisle accompanied by Rex Chapman. Rex jumps up on the apron and starts jawing with CD. Meanwhile, SR grabs a can of gasoline at ringside and pours it on the table in the aisle way and lights it on fire.

CD drags SR over to the table in the aisle. CD tries pushing SR's face into the flames, but SR is holding on for dear life. OH MY GOD!!! Here comes JD Freeman from the back and makes the save for SR. They both start hammering on CD. Freeman throws CD into the concession stand near the announcer's booth. SR picks up CD and power slams him right into the popcorn machines. JD then starts the counter on fire. SR picks up CD, the gorilla presses him onto the fiery counter, CD rolls off the counter with his skin turning dark red and blisters are starting to pop up all over his chest and arms. SF goes for the cover, while JD is standing nearby laughing at CD's charbroiled body. The ref counts 1,2,3...

Wait here comes Simmons from the back, he's carrying a lead pipe and he nails Freeman in the back. SF runs and tries to clothesline Simmons, but Simmons ducks and crushes SF in the stomach with teh pipe. He spits on both men as they are laying there groveling in pain. Simmons picks up CD and helps him to the trainers office as EMT'S rush to CD to check on his burns and other injuries....

Jon: "WOW, What a match!" <YAWN>

Derek: "Yeah, they just don't do them like they used to. I miss last week. Hey isn't that punk Pimp daddy up next."

Jon: "If you say so."

Derek: "I think he deserves to be Bobbited"

Jon: "I think I need a sedative."

Derek: "Ah, just because she didn't show you the one tattoo of the snake."

 Jon: "I know, but I did get to see the one with the mermaids."

Derek: "I didn't know they had furry tails though."

Jon: "Oh yeah, haven't you ever read that one story?"

Derek: "Anyway, I truly believe that DJ is gonna kick the ever {self} loving crap out of that miniscule Machismo monster."

Jon: "Well, you'd think that, but then again, you might think that the Pimp-ster would win."

Derek: "Why would you think that, he's a no talent hack with a bad attitude. Oh wait, I'm talking about you. Not him Sorry."

Jon: "Well, at least I don't have large mole's growing out of my butt, with hair all over them."

Derek: "Hey, that was personal information. I told you that in confidence. It's all a lie folks."

Jon: "No, you can ask his shrink, she confirmed it all."

"Smack my bitch up" by Prodigy begins playing and out walks PimpDaddyJ, dragging Diane right behind him. Pimp is getting booed and cussed out by many of the fans in attendance but he really doesn't seem to mind. Suddenly "Friday Night" by Ice T blares over the loudspeakers and the crowd goes nuts! DJ Friday walks out accompanied by his lady Silk. Friday hits the ring like lighting and tackles Pimp then punches him in the face about 10 times with his heavily taped hands. Friday picks Pimp up off the ground and choke slams him hard onto the mat. He then does a little gloating for the crowd and gets another loud pop. While Fridays back is turned Pimp picks up his Pimp stick, which was lying in the ring, and hits Friday in the gut with it, doubling him over in pain. With Friday down like that pimp takes the stick and cracks it over Fridays back, leaving a long cut which a small trickle of blood pours from. Pimp picks Friday off the ground and does a short clothesline on him. He picks Friday back up and bounces of the ropes attempting a high cross body but Friday catches him in mid air. Friday carries him to the side of the ring and Gorilla presses him onto the outside, sending Pimp busting through the announcers table. DJ walks outside and picks up a steel chair. He smashes the chair over Pimps head leaving a dent in the chair and a huge gash on pimps fore head. Friday then proceeds to remove the protective padding on the floor to reveal the cement. He picks the now bloody Pimp off the ground and power bombs him hard onto the cement, knocking the wind out of pimp and surely giving him severe back problems. DJ crawls back into the ring and does some more gloating for the fans. Meanwhile, on the outside, Diane tries to help Pimp up but he just slaps her away and stumbles his way onto the ring apron. Almost immediately he is met with a devastating thrust kick from Friday that knocks him off the apron neck first onto the steel guardrail. DJ climbs to the top rope and attempts to do a moonsault onto Pimp on the outside but Pimp moves out of the way and Fridays hits stomach first on the steel guardrail. Friday can now be seen coughing up small amounts of blood and mucus. Pimp capitalizes and walks over and picks up the steel steps. He smashes them down on Friday's back three or four times before tossing them to the side. He then stomps on Friday while he's down coughing and gasping for breath. Pimp the rolls DJ back in the ring and attempts to Irish whip him but it is reversed and he is caught by a devastating spinning heel kick from Friday that knocks two of pimps teeth out. Friday goes for the cover.1..2..kickout!

Friday picks the dazed Pimp off the ground and attempts to do a cradle DDT but Pimp counters it by lifting Friday off his feet and dropping him face first onto the top turnbuckle. Pimp spins Friday around in the corner, climbs to the second turnbuckle, and begins punching the hell out of him. Despite the blood running down Pimp's face, and the pain in his back, all that matters now is hurting DJ Friday. Suddenly, after a dozen punches, Friday comes alive. He grabs Pimp and throws him off the turnbuckle onto the exposed cement floor below. DJ, although somewhat dazed, still climbs the top turnbuckle and once again attempts a moonsault onto Pimp. This time it works perfectly and nearly crushes a few of pimp's ribs in the process. Friday picks pimp up and rolls him back in the ring. He Irish whips him and hits the spine buster! 1...2.. he kicked out! Friday, and everyone in the building for that matter are amazed at how he kicked out of that one. DJ picks Pimp up once again and is immediately hit with a flurry of surprisingly strong punches to the face and abdomen. After three to the gut and two to the face, Pimp has Friday dazed in the middle of the ring and he bounces off the ropes and does a dropkick that hits Friday square on the chin, knocking him down. Pimp capitalizes on this and begins choking Friday like a mad man. The ref keeps calling for the break but Pimp just keeps going. He finally breaks the choke but the damage has been done. Friday is gasping for air and holding his throat. Pimp stands up and gloats for the crowd, he is met with an extensive array of swear words and boos. Silk is over trying to check on her man Friday as is the ref. Friday looks in really bad shape and can barely breath, let alone stand. Pimp gets himself another idea, and he pulls Silk into the ring with him by her hair. Diane then crawls into the ring and both he and Diane berate and smack Silk around. She falls in the opposite corner, crying as Diane continues smacking her. Pimp is also joining in on it by verbally abusing her. Pimp then walks over to DJ kicking him while Diane holds Silk by her hair and forces her to watch. She is in tears and is pretty much hysterical about what they're doing to her man. Pimp ties Friday in the ropes and continues to beat him as Silk is forced to look on.

Suddenly pimp and Diane concentrate solely on Silk and turn their backs to Friday for a moment. while their backs are turned the ref unhooks Friday from the ropes and he charges at the "unsuspecting" pimp. This was part of Pimps plan all along. Pimp spins and nails Friday right in the face with a fireball that sends him to the ground in agony. Blood is pouring out of his face and running down his chest. He his screaming in sheer pain. Pimp goes for the cover 1...2...3!! He got him!

Jon: "Hey, isn't there an interview with the President, or something like that coming up?"

Derek: "Yes, It is the interview with Aaron. He is going to tell us all about the PPV. At least I hope he is. Not any of that lame BS he tried to talk to us about last time."

Jon: "Oh yeah, that was the worst. Well, Derek let's go up to the ring as our esteemed Prez. Aaron is about make an announcement about the Memorial Day Madness PPV, this coming Sunday, May 24th."

Derek: Christ, you're plugging the PPV again, we might as well call you Jon Schiavone, please settle down for at least 2 minutes will ya."

"Breathe" by Prodigy starts to blare over the PA system as Prez Aaron walks down the aisle and up to the ring. He takes a mic out of his back pocket and begins to address the audience.

Aaron: "Well, it seems that everyone in the world is wondering what is going with the Extreme World Title at the PPV. Now all I'm going to say right now, is the 8 wrestlers who will fight in a hardcore, bloody tourney at the PPV which will be held in our nations capital Washington D.C. Matches will be held in RFK Stadium and also throughout the city in various tourist attractions."

Aaron: "Now to the matters at hand, I have in my hand the list of 8 guys who will battle for the belt. And here they are:"

"Now you guys on the list are probably wondering what the brackets, well guess what boys no one knows not even me. What's gonna happen is that you're names will be brawn from a lottery type setting and the extreme match you'll fight will be determined beforehand by the committee and you'll know when you're names are drawn. The finals will be a match that no one in the wrestling world as seen to date. Well, whoever wins this belt will be lucky if they'll be able to stand up-right for a week. Good luck you guys cause you're gonna need it"

Prez Aaron gives the mic back to the announcer and heads back to the dressing room...

Jon: "Can you believe it, matches all over Washington DC."

Derek: "I can't wait. Well this is Derek Ash, and I'm saying good night for Jon Marx, Hey what the hell is that music. Can't you see I'm trying to shut down for the night."

Jon: That sounds like Freeman's music

Derek: "Well, lets go and see what he has to say I guess. We still have time don't we."

Jon: We've always got time for Freeman

(Sad But True by Metallica begins to play over the sound system and the crowd immediately responds with tremendous booing. JD Freeman comes through the entrance dressed his customary faded blue jeans and a tee shirt depicting the four horsemen of apocalypse. He has a cocky look on his face as he saunters his way to the ring. Once he gets to the ringside area, he climbs on in and walks over to the ring announcer. He takes the Mic out of the surprised announcer's hand and raises it.)

Freeman: "Mr. Ring Announcer... your services are no longer needed tonight."

(Before the announcer can react, Freeman grabs him by the head and throws him over the top rope down to the floor. He returns to the middle of the ring and begins to speak.)

Freeman: "First of all, I just had to come out here and make sure all the fans got their money's worth. Hell it's bad enough they had to pay so damn much to get in the arena tonight, then to top it off, they had to sit through matches that involved idiots like Ray Simmons and Chris Douglas."

(As soon as Freeman mentions their names, the fans go crazy with cheers. Freeman lowers the Mic to wait for them to subside. He shakes his head, slowly back and forth as he does so. After a full minute, the cheers get low enough for him to continue speaking.)

Freeman: "As I was saying, it's men like Douglas and Simmons that give this sport a bad name. Unlike the man that I'm bringing out here in a moment. This man has the same drive... the same good looks... and not to mention, the same kick ass attitude as me. As a matter of fact, this man reminds me a lot of myself, when I first started out in this business. That's why I decided to take him under my wing, so to speak. I'm gonna give this man that focus he needs in order to be one of the most feared wrestlers in the EWA."

(Freeman begins imitating a talk show host as he continues.)

Freeman: "So please... without further ado, let's welcome SuperReactor!"

(The crowd erupts into boos as SuperReactor comes through the entrance wearing a JD Freeman tee shirt. This shirt is different than ones we have seen before. On the front, it has Freeman's name spelled out in flames and as he passes the camera, the back can be seen to have words on the back, also in flames... "Hottest star in the EWA." SuperReactor reaches the ring and climbs in, slapping a thunderous high five with Freeman. The crowd continues to boo furiously as SuperReactor stands next to Freeman.)

Freeman: (to SuperReactor) "They love you man... you can see that right?"

SuperReactor: "Hey... how could they NOT love a guy like me huh?"

Freeman: (nodding) "Yeah, well you got a good point there."

(Finally the fans stop booing as SuperReactor goes to a far corner and stands there as Freeman continues to talk.)

Freeman: "Now I'm sure some of you loser out there are thinking... "JD Freeman, what in the hell do you think you're doing?" Well the answer is simple. NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! If I wanted you to know what I was doing, I would have told your asses ahead of time. There are a few things I wanted to say though. They directly involve a couple of assholes that had matches earlier tonight. First and foremost... Hardcore Ray Simmons... I was sitting at home a couple of days ago and saw that he was saying something about wanting to be the first EWA Extreme Champ. He said that no one would stand in his way. Well buddy boy, I'm standing in your direct path to that bell and there is no way in HELL you're getting past me. You just don't have the drive to make it to the top here. And that's gonna be a proven fact this weekend."

(Freeman lowers the Mic and walks back to where SuperReactor is standing. The two men confer for just a moment before Freeman returns to the middle of the ring.)

Freeman: "Now... on to the man that didn't even have what it takes to beat my pal back here. Douglas, you thought you had that match in the bag didn't you? Well, I guess now you had better just sit back there and lick your wounds. Hey, I got an idea... why don't you go and see Simmons. From what I hear in the back, he's pretty damn good at licking."

(Freeman again lowers the Mic as he laughs and the fans boo. His face goes through a slight transformation as a smirk comes to rest on it.)

Freeman: "All right, enough shit about shit. Let's talk about the upcoming tournament. Now that I know who to concentrate on, This thing is practically in the bag. Let's take a look at each competitor."

(As Freeman continues talking, a fan jumps over the guardrail and climbs in the ring behind him. The fan runs at Freeman, leveling him with a clothesline. Wait! That's no fan! It's Chris Douglas! Freeman is down and Douglas is working him over with kicks to the head and back. He doesn't see SuperReactor come up behind him. SuperReactor nails Douglas with a double axe handle to the back. Freeman gets to his feet as SuperReactor and Douglas trade lefts and rights. Freeman grabs Douglas and locks his arms behind him as SuperReactor works him over. Freeman drops Douglas to the mat and picks the Mic up again.)

Freeman: "It's shit such as this that will be the downfall of the EWA. What I do now is just the beginning of path to destruction for every EWA wrestler."

(Freeman throws the Mic down again and goes over to where Douglas still lies. He picks Douglas up and sets him up for the Death Drop! But wait! There's someone else in the ring! It's Simmons! Simmons comes up behind SuperReactor and floors him with a clothesline! He them nails Freeman in the back of the head with a beautifully placed dropkick. Freeman rolls out of the ring with SuperReactor right behind him. Simmons comes over to the ropes and begins yelling at Freeman, who picks up the fallen Mic.)

Freeman: "Well well well... look at what we have here, will you? Heh... now that we have you two together... why don't you put your heads together and see if you can come up with half a brain. How about a tag match huh? Oh don't answer now... I think you two will want to sleep on it, I mean it's such a big decision. And I'm sure every one here will be waiting to see what your answer is. So do you have the balls to take us on? I doubt it... Well I'll leave you two lover boys with this... IF and I do mean IF, you two decide to accept our challenge. You had better make sure all of your affairs are in order, because it'll be your funeral!"

(Freeman and SuperReactor make their way to the locker room area, leaving Simmons and still shaky Douglas in the ring.)

Jon: "Well, there seems to be a bit of a commotion back at the dressing trailers. Derek has gone back to see what's going on. Derek, are you there?"

Derek: "Here I am outside of Trailer 13. This Trailer had been assigned to the wrestler Zaman until his unfortunate absence of late. However I was just handed a note specifying that I was supposed to bring a camera crew out to investigate a disturbance that has happened. When I arrived I found that the trailer door was locked and so I sent for a key from Security."

Derek: "What the hell was that thumping. I heard something, don't tell me I didn't. Oh, you are pointing at the bathroom maybe that's it. Well let's open it up shall we. Hmm, what is this? It's a string in the doorframe that has a note attached. It says PULL ME and has the initials DR after it. Is that the Doctor? Hmm, I have no idea. What do you think? Ok you say I should pull it. Ok."

Derek pulls on the string and the shower curtain flies open. You see a naked Zaman standing in the middle of the bathtub. He's screaming but you can see he is also chained to the bathtub. Derek screams and the camera pans over. You see a clock ticking down. It's at 9 seconds. Derek starts toward the tub, then the camera drops and you can see running feet past you. It auto focuses on the naked Zaman, and then you see a flash of light. The Extreme-tron goes black and in the distance over the corn stalks you can see a huge explosion of light. Other camera crews hurry to the scene and you see a slightly crispy looking Derek Ash and a camera crew. They are standing looking at what was left of a trailer. Derek is just shaking his head. Then it shows the announcers stand and Jon Marx once again.

Jon: "DEAR GOD! Derek, how could you?!? Oh well, for "Ultra Violent" Derek Ash, I'm Jon Marx. We'll see you on Sunday at the Pay Per View live from Washington DC!"