October 4, 1998

EWA Presents

Live from the Hartford Civic Center

Richard Riley: "Good evening EWA fans, I'm Richard Riley and welcome to Extreme measures, live from Hartford, Connecticut. Tonight should be an amazing show. As an added bonus, I will be joined by the EWA's own Vice Presidnet of Operations himself, Artful for color commentary."

Artful: "It burns, it burns!!!"

Richard Riley: "Someone get the man some ointment, otherwise I'll be stuck doing commentary with one of those DI a-holes all night!"

Artful: "In fact, that will not be necessary. I have the situation under control."

Richard Riley: "I guess those women of ill-repute will do that to you. Anyway, welcome to the show."

Artful: "Thank you very much. It's good to be here. I was supposed to be singing karaoke with Wyld Chylde tonight, so this better be worth my time."

Richard Riley: "I'm sure it will be more then worth your time, although I know how enticing karaoke with Wylde can be. I'm sure you will enjoy your time here. Don't forget that we have several members of DI scheduled for the show."

Artful: [into cell phone] "God damnit, they said it was sanitized for my protection! Now what am I supposed to do?" [turns towards Richard] I'll show them sanitized for my protection, damnit."

Richard Riley: "Don't worry, Art, I've got some stuff back stage that'll clear that up for you. So what are your thoughts on tonight's show?"

Artful: [hangs up the cell phone] "Well, I gotta tell ya, it looks like a fantastic show, although I'm just getting word from our correspondent in the parking lot...yes...he's informing me that Scott Johnson and Higor Rosa were savagely beaten by a group of rabid fans outside the arena. Rosa has suffered some extensive soft tissue damage, as well as a broken collar bone. No word yet on the extent of Johnson's injuries yet."

Richard Riley: "I wonder if Johnson will be able to go for his match against Pudding Pop. I'll bet it was those DI jerks were behind this. They are probably just upset that New Breed got the better of them last week."

Artful: "Who's got a pudding pop? Damnit, Jeanie, get us some pudding pops up here, pronto."

Richard Riley: "Well, speaking of Deamon, I' just got word that we are ready for our first match. It will be two relative newcomers to the EWA going at it. What are your thoughts the match"

Artful: Well, I've seen this Demon guy before or at least someone that was pretending to be him, unless of course he's got a twin brother. Long story short, I think that this is a good place for this match. Nobody is overly settled, and they won't miss much if they're staning in line for a pudding pop."

Richard Riley: "What more can be said after that brilliant match analysis? Let's go to the ring."

Dustin Madison awaits his opponent in the ring. Deamon is now introduced.

Deamon comes out, wearing a shirt that says "BofA", which means Bank of America, so back off...he walks down, looking all mean and stuff, as he jumps into the ring, and attacks Dustin Madison, who was being a nice guy about things, but the match starts now, because Deamon was so damn impatient.

Deamon tackles Dustin, throwing wicked punches all over the place. He then gets up, and whips Dustin in, catching him with a brainbuster, shocking Madison, and going for the quick cover, but he only gets two. Deamon lifts him back up, because he's all evil and stuff, and starts biting into Madison's skull, as he draws a speck of blood, licking his lips, as Dustin throws a short hand slap to his face.

Deamon stutters back, then Madison throws another...he gets him back into the corner, and throws a reverse knife edge, as a fan goes WHOOO!!!" The ref breaks the match up, sends the guys back to their corner, pulls his .45 out, and blows the fan's head off, as the crowd erupts, all in agreement that 60 year old men shouldn't be in wrestling...the ref jumps back in the ring, puts his gun away, as the two start wrestling again.

Dustin hits Deamon with a go behind take down, then slips Deamon's arm through his legs, as Dustin lifts him up, and slams him down...from there, Deamon rolls under the bottom rope, as Dustin follows...Deamon, trying to get a break, is rustled up by Madison, who clotheslines him down, by the steel ring steps Madison then springboards up onto the guard rail, and attempts a quick dropkick, but Deamon moved out of the way, damn

Deamon grabs a chair and laces it across Dustin's head, as Madison falls, Deamon begins to laugh, and yells something out in some foreign language, maybe Latin. He then lifts Dustin's limp carcass up, and shoves him back into the ring. Deamon covers, but the ref can only get to 2, before Dustin kicks out. Deamon then takes Dustin over to the corner, and plants him down with a Samoan Drop. He then gets to the second turnbuckle, and tries for some sort of a cannonball maneuver, but misses.

Dustin Madison is up, and he is laying it in on Deamon...he's throwing chops, fists, oranges, and boots at him. Finally, he whips him in and catches a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, as Deamon lay on the mat now, out of it. Dustin then goes to the top, and comes off with a wicked frogsplash, landing right on the lilipad (Deamon) as the ref comes over for the cover...he gets one, he gets two, and don't change the channel, because folks, Dustin just got three...ring that bell.

Winner: "Dangerous" Dustin Madison via Frogsplash

Just then Mike Paine comes out from the back and crushes a steel chair across the back of Deamon, knocking him to the ground with a loud thud. Paine just spits on Deamon and walks back towards the dressing room

Artful: "And there you have it folks. Two for the price of one."

Richard Riley: "That's right folks. If you hurry to the concession stand, you can get two pudding pops for the price of one."

Artful: "But for a limited time only. Pudding pops don't grow on trees."

Richard Riley: "Don't be silly, Artful, they grow on bushes, everyone knows that! And I'm the one that doesn't get paid for this, Geesh!!!"

Artful: "Well, it's not my fault your agent couldn't negotiat his way out of a paper bag. Be happy your not stuck doing that EWA Tonight thing."

Richard Riley: "What could be worse then that?"

Artful: "Well, I could list some things off, but some of our more sensative viewers might get a little upset."

Richard Riley: "I thought this was cable and we could say anything?"

Artful: "Can we say scrum pox on cable?"

Richard Riley: "Or even Ish Kabibble! I'm sure we can say whatever we want. Pass me another pudding pop."

Artful: [hands him a pudding pop] "What would the world be without pudding pops?"

Richard Riley: "I shutter to think of it! Speaking of pudding pops, I think we are ready to start our next match, which will involve everone's favorite pudding flavor against the possibly incapacitated Scott Johnson."

Artful: "Well, if you say so. Jeanie, I think we're nearly out of pudding pops up here."

Richard Riley: "Maybe while this oh, so exciting match is taking place, she can run out and get us some more. Any comments on the next match?"

Artful: "Just that it sucks to be them."

Richard Riley: "I think we already knew that. Anything else to add?"

Artful: "Umm, how about two tickets to next weeks show."

Richard Riley: "Sure, If you can answer our trivia question during the next commercial break, then you can win two tickets to next show. If you have the answer, just call 1-888-DI-Sucks. Let's go to the bathroom, er, I mean ring."

Artful: "yeah."

"Bombtrack" by Rage Against the Machine begins to play as Scott Johnson comes out the back wearing a New Breed T-shirt. He arrogantly walks down the ring, although he seems to be walking with a noticeable limp, possibly from the beating he received from the fans earlier this evening. He jumps into the ring and leans in his corner waiting for his opponent.

"Head Like a Hole" by Nine Inch Nails starts to blast over the arena as Violent Dark comes out of the entranceway with his arms raised. He is wearing a T-shirt that says "Beware the Dark" and he quickly jogs down to the ring amid a good reaction from the crowd.

Johnson is jawing with the referee as the bell rings and VD wastes no time. He runs at the unaware Johnson, hitting him with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope and down to the floor. Dark quickly climbs to the top rope and flies off nailing SJ with a suicide plancha. The back of Johnson's head connects with the ring railing and knocks him senseless.

VD gets up a little dazed and picks up the limp Johnson up and drops him throat first across the ring railing. VD rolls Johnson back into the ring and hops up on the ring apron. He holds onto the top rope and then slingshots himself over, nailing a splash. He quickly hooks a leg but just misses the three count.

Violent begins to argue with the referee about the count and this gives Johnson a breather, allowing him to nail VD with a low blow. SJ pulls himself up to his feet by the ropes and then drops a double axe handle onto VD's back. Johnson picks up VD for a vertical suplex and just nails it. He gets up holding his leg. It looks like the injuries he received earlier are starting to take their toll on him.

Johnson limps over to VD and picks him up in a piledriver position. He lifts him and twists, nailing a jumping piledriver. He rolls over onto VD for a cover...1...2...VD gets his shoulder up. SJ bangs on the mat in frustration. Johnson picks up Dark and whips him into the ropes and nails a powerslam on the return. He layes on top for the cover, but the referee only gets a one count.

Johnson is visibly tired, but continues to inflict punishment to Violent Dark. Johnson picks him up and Irish whips him into the corner. Johnson charges at the corner and goes for a high knee to Violent Dark's chest. VD rolls out of the way at the last second and Johnson's injured knee connects with the turnbuckle.

VD picks up Johnson and hangs him in the tree of woe. He runs back and nails him with a dropkick to the face. VD slides out of the ring and grabs a chair. He jumps up on the ring apron and nails Johnson's injured knee. He then unhooks SJ's leg from the top turnbuckle and Johnson crumbles to the mat in a heap.

VD crawls into the ring and pulls SJ away from the corner. He locks on a sharpshooter and leans back. Johnson is pounding the mat in pain but refuses to submit. He begins dragging himself towards the rope and makes it. The referee begins to count and finally VD releases the hold at four. VD begins arguing with the referee.

Johnson pulls himself up. VD turns around and is nailed with a kick to the stomach that doubles him over. SJ locks Violent in a front face lock and starts to climb the turnbuckle, going for his finisher, Extreme Malfunction, a tornado DDT. Johnson's knee buckles as he attempts to climb. He slips off the turnbuckle that gives VD the opportunity to reverse the hold and nails Johnson with Violent Vengeance. VD drops down as the referee counts...1...2...3...Violent Dark gets up, spits on Johnson and leaves the ring.

Winner: Violent Dark via Violent Vengeance

Johnson pulls himself up to his feet and looks around to see if anyone is going to come to the ring. A few minutes go by and Johnson is a little confused. He looks around a few more times and is about to leave the ring when from out of the back comes the "Train". He is wearing his wrestling gear and has the North American title belt strapped around his waist.

The "Train" walks down to the ring to general boos from the fans. He climbs in the ring and immediately gets in Johnson's face. Johnson is just standing there waiting to be hit. The "Train" rears back and throws a punch at Johnson's midsection, but stops, surprisingly sticking out his hand to Johnson. Johnson is shocked. He is not sure what to do. The "Train" continues to hold out his hand to him.

Johnson not quite sure what to do. He sticks out his hand and the two men shake. Johnson looks relieved that he is not going to have to suffer through a five minute beat down when he is obviously injured already. The "Train" continues to shake Johnson's hand.

Suddenly Suicide King comes running down to ringside with a chair in his hand to see what is going on. He runs at Johnson, but the "Train" gets in his way. SK and the "Train" seem to be arguing. "Train" goes back to Johnson and shakes his hand again. SK turns and runs up with the chair like he is going to nail the "Train." The "Train" drops down pulling Johnson forward and SK nails him in the face with the chair.

"The "Train" jumps up and the two DI members slap hands and begin laughing at the downed New Breed member. The "Train" orders SK to lift up Johnson. The "Train" grabs Johnson and whips him into the corner and follows up with a running lariat. The "Train" calls for his finisher. He lifts Johnson onto the top turnbuckle, climbs up, throws Johnson over his shoulder and jumps off, nailing the Train Wreck.

Johnson is pretty much unconscious, but SK climbs to the top rope with the chair and jumps off nailing an Arabian face buster on to Johnson's injured knee. SK and the "Train" confer to for a moment and the "Train" points towards the top turnbuckle. SK climbs up while the "Train" locks Johnson in a figure-four leg lock. SK spins around and nails a moonsault onto Johnson. There is a sickening crunch and Johnson appears to be unconscious. SK and the "Train" jump up and raise their arms in the air to a loud boo from the crowd.

They leave the ring as paramedics come out to attend to Johnson.

Artful: "Congratulations to Jimmy Murphy of Topeka Kansas for correctly pointing out that there was no trivia question."

Richard Riley: "That's right, but he did correctly point out that DI DOES suck, so he wins an even better prize. Speaking of that last match, I love it when everyone joins in on a beat down."

Artful: "It's a beautiful sight to behold."

Richard Riley: "It practically brings tears to my eyes! Could I have some tissue?"

Artful: [hands him a pudding pop] "Here."

Richard Riley: "Even better. Yummy [begins eating the pudding pop]."

Artful: "Alrighty then. Next up we have something that nobody's going to want to see."

Richard Riley: [checks his notes] "Well that would be basically everyone we have on the show tonight. I think the next match is Dawg shit vs. Ivan Draggo of Rocky fame."

Artful90: "da da dadada da da da da da da...."

Richard Riley: "Okay, let's get to this exciting match. Damn pudding pops! [holds his stomach] Be right back! [hauls ass out of the booth]"

"Murder was the Case" rattles through the speakers, and Dawgbone walks down the ramp with a Rotweiller. The dog is looking around, growling deep and low in his throat, and had a large tag on his collar that reads "RIPP". Dawgbone gets to ringside and chains the dog to one of the posts. As he rolls into the ring, the former Soviet anthem plays and Ivan Markov comes up to the ramp, glaring down before starting toward the ring. As he passes the corner where Ripp is, the dog stars to bark and snarl at him.

Ivan stares at the dog, keeping just out of it's reach, then cuffs it across the head, making it even madder. Ivan laughs, then rolls into the ring, and the bell rings. Dawgbone and Ivan are staring each other down, Ivan practically dwarfing the 6'3" Dawgbone. Ivan picks Dawgbone for the Oktober Revolution... he's going for a quick win... NO!! Dawg slams him in the face with an elbow, then hits the Ghetto Driver as he drops!

Ivan stands, looking furious, but Dawg is NOT finished! He slams Ivan with a spinning heel kick, then goes for the cradle ddt, AND HITS IT! Ivan is stunned, and Dawgbone takes advantage of it! He grabs Ivan and hits a running liger bomb, then whips him into the corner and runs after... HE HITS a dropkick just as Ivan hits the corner!! Ivan is looking pretty winded, and Dawgbone is looking better than ANYONE expected! Ivan tries to get out of the corner, but a well placed thrust kick slams him back!

Dawg grabs him by the neck and hits a bulldog right into the ring post! Ivan is stunned, and falls flat on his face. Dawg jumps up to the second turnbuckle, flips backwards... IT'S THE UPERDAWG!! He goes for the pin, and the ref counts... 1... 2... 3!!!! WHAT A SHOWING!!

Dawgbone raises his arms and struts around the ring. IUvan starts to get up, murder in his eyes, but Dawgbone is already on the way to the back. He grabs Ripp's chain and, instead of untying it, simply undoes the clasp on the collar. He starts to walk away, shouting, "Sic 'em, boy!" Ripp lunges at Ivan and drags him down by the leg. Dawgbone watches, smiling grimly, from the ramp, as Ripp tears into Ivan. EWA Officials try to grab the dog off of the large Russian, but can't. Finally, Dawg calls out, "Ripp! Heel!" And Ripp lets go and trots to Dawgbone as if nothing happened. EMTs help Ivan out.

Artful: [stands up and tries to start a wave.] Woopee!

Richard Riley: "Sure. Thanks!"

Artful: "So, what's next for Extreme Measures? A mass enema?"

Richard Riley: "No thanks, I just had one!"

Artful: "I thought that was a pudding pop."

Richard Riley: "Same difference. Let's talk a little about the current happenings in the EWA. It seems like there is a little power struggle going on in the executive committee."

Artful: "I wouldn't actually call it a power struggle. I have all the power, JD doesn't. It's that simple."

Richard Riley: "I thought Aaron was the head of the EWA. Are you implying that you really run things?"

Artful: "I'm not implying anything. I'm saying."

Richard Riley: "...is that Aaron is really a figurehead and YOU are the real power behind the EWA. I can't believe you're saying this!"

Artful: "That's pretty much the size of it. Though I wouldn't call Aaron so much a figure head. He's more of a.....pudding pop! He get's all melty if you leave him out of the freezer to long."

Richard Riley: [tries to refrain from laughing] "That's not funny! He's the guy that pays me every week. Wait a minute, I don't get paid. That rat bastard! If I support you, do you think you can arrange for me my own show?"

Artful: "How would you like to do EWA Tonight?"

Richard Riley: "I like that but I think it should be more in line with our style of wrestling. How's EWA Extreme Tonight, Artful or should I call you Mr. President?"

Artful: "Fantastic. The job's yours. You can start on, oh, say, tuesday."

Richard Riley: "Tuesday, it is. Can you talk to these dumb asses in the truck? They're yelling something in my ear about that we're not talking about tonight's show and the wrestlers enough. I think they said we are ready for our next match as well."

Artful: "Hey, guys in the truck. You're all fired."

Richard Riley: "Works for me [searches around the desk for the program format] What is our next match?"

Artful: "Umm...I think we have a small problem."

Richard Riley: "Let me guess, no more pudding pops. NO!"

Artful: "No, actually I was referring to the fact that I just fired the production crew."

Richard Riley: "Just give them a weeks supply of pudding pops and they'll come back. Everyone loves Chocolate!"

Artful: "Right. Hey, Guys in the truck. A weeks supply of pudding pops if you go back to work now."

Richard Riley: [finds the right piece of paper] "I think the next match is Pimp Daddy J vs. Irish Rebel. This feud has been brewing [laughs] for some time. Both men left and then came back and now, lucky us, we get to see the match."

Artful: "There ought to be a law."

Richard Riley: "Ya think. Let's go to the ring. [whispers to Artful] Thank god, those pudding pops are insides liquify. I'll be right back. [runs out of the booth again]"

"SMACK MY BITCH UP"

Prodigy's controversial song plays over the loudspeaker and Pimp Daddy J comes out with his new fan favorite attitude. He has a very large fan following and he has his hoes with him. The fans are cheering like crazy because of PDJ's recent turn for the better. He gets into the ring with his hoes outside.

"Fuck Off" by ICP blasts and Irish Rebel walks out with a meaner attitude to him. The fan reaction is mixed and Irish Rebel gets into the ring. He stands in his corner staring at Pimp Daddy J. PDJ walks over towards him and they lock up. Rebel throws him against the rope and hits him with a running shoulder block. PDJ gets up and does an armbar to IR. IR reverses it and kicks PDJ. IR runs against the ropes and hits PDJ with a running drop kick but PDJ grabs his legs and throws him into the mat.

PDJ puts him in an ankle lock. and pulls over towards the corner of the ring. He bends IR's leg around the ring post and pulls very hard. He grabs IR's head and slams it against the post. Jerry Michaels runs down to ringside with a chair and slams PDJ in the head with it. He goes over the guard rail and sets the chair up beside some fans. Jerry has an IoV basketball jersey over top of an IoV t-shirt. IR gets up and sees PDJ slowly crawling to his feet. IR throws PDJ into the ring and ties his feet up in the top turnbuckle.

Capital Punishment runs down to the side of the ring and throws a shoe into the ring. Cappy goes and takes a seat beside Jerry Michaels. IR takes off his right shoe and puts on the one Cappy threw into the ring. It seems to have a metal block attached to the toe of it. IR runs into the rope and does a sliding kick with the shoe right into PDJ's head. PDJ falls down from the rope and IR picks him up and throws him out of the ring.

Tommy Grayson slowly walks out to the ring and sits down beside Jerry and Cappy. IR puts PDJ up in a tombstone piledriver position. He nods over to Tommy Grayson. Tommy jumps the guard rail and climbs to the top rope. He jumps off and they execute a spike piledriver onto the cement floor. Grayson helps IR put PDJ back in the ring and IR goes for the cover.

1

2.

3..

Winner: Irish Rebel via massive IoV Interference

The three members of IoV get into the ring and look at Irish Rebel. Jerry Michaels takes off his basketball jersey and throws it to Irish Rebel. The 3 IoV members look at Irish Rebel as he looks at the jersey which has been thrown to him. He tears off his shirt and puts the basketball jersey on over top of it. He shakes hands with Jerry, Cappy, and Tommy. The four of them walk out of the ring raising their hands in victory.

Artful: [looks at his watch] "Gee, I hope he didn't fall in. Then he wouldn't be able to help me eat all these pudding pops. Wait. I hope he fell in so I can eat all these pudding pops myself."

President Aaron walks up to the announcer's booth and taps Art on the shoulders.

Artful:[spins around]"Oh, it's you. Well, I suppose you've got something to say."

Aaron: "Gee, ya think??"

Artful says: "Probably. Not that it matters."

Aaron: "I hear you've been running your mouth about me, just like JD has in the past week or two."

Artful says: "Pudding pop?"

Aaron: [knocks the pudding pop out of Artful's hand] "Enough with the fun and games! I run the show around here. You and JD better start learning that fact real quick or you'll both be out of a job real quick.

Artful: "Tough talk from a guy who can't even tie his own shoes."

Aaron walks out of the booth just as Richard Riley walks back in.

Richard Riley: Did I miss anything? You don't look too happy.

Artful: No comment!

Richard Riley: I just received word that one of our wrestlers is requesting some air time, so let's go down to the ring and see what's up.

"Terrible Lie" by Nine Inch Nails suddenly begins to fill the arena, as this signals that EWA's Extreme Icon, "The Extreme One" Tommy Grayson will make his appearance. Grayson walks out from behind the black curtains, and begins walking down the isle as if the hundreds of screaming fans weren't even there. Grayson is wearing a black EWA t-shirt, black trousers, and black combat boots. His fists are taped as well...he looks well prepared for battle. His short black hair is combed neatly, and his goatee is well-trimmed as usual...he has since shaved off the stubble he had since recovering from amnesia.

Grayson enters the ring, and takes the microphone from Timothy Braddock, who hands it to him from the outside. Grayson steps into the center of the ring, and begins to speak.

TOMMY GRAYSON - Hold on...chill out here for a second...you know, I haven't come out to talk like this for a LONG motherfucking while...

TOMMY GRAYSON - Well, let's get this show on the road. I have a couple things to talk about here...namely last week when Cyris won himself a Global Hardcore title. [The crowd boos] Yeah, that's EXACTLY what I thought, too. I'll have to hand it to D.I...they're the only guys who make people fucking SICK when they celebrate! Damn, you should've seen the motherfucking puke all over the goddamn bathrooms that night...and I know for a fact that most of it was MINE. It made me sick to my stomach to hear JD Freeman yelling and cheering in the locker rooms like a bufoon, and it sure made my fucken day when I heard Suicide King and Cyris sucking on each other's ass! So, I decide to pack my bags and just go straight home, so I can DRINK myself to sleep. I'll tell you what...the hangover was worth it. I couldn't remember JACK SHIT the next day until I watched the tape of Extreme Measures and a couple of comments made by several EWA guys...namely a guy by the name of Suicide King...

The crowd reacts with "BOOS" and chants of "KICK HIS NUTZ! KICK HIS NUTZ! KICK HIS NUTZ!"

TOMMY GRAYSON - Don't worry...not only is he gonna get his nuts kicked, he's gonna get his ASS kicked, too. Suicide King, where the HELL do you go off carrying around the TV title when it's VACANT? How the HELL can you just sit there like an ass, telling guys to suck your nuts and BS them about things that you don't know jack shit about?

Grayson pauses, and looks into the crowd.

TOMMY GRAYSON - Umm...there's something that I'm planning to do right now...something that I want EVERYBODY here to see. Patti, I know you're sitting there at home watching this...and I have a question to ask you...you love me...and God only knows how much I love you...[pauses] hold on a second...Braddock, get the fuck in here and hold the microphone.

Braddock gets inside the ring, and holds the microphone for Grayson, who has a slightly nervous look on his face.

TOMMY GRAYSON - The point is...I'm asking you to MARRY me, baby. I want you to become The Extreme Icon-ness of the EW-fucken-A! No goddamn D.I. bastard can ruin this moment for me right now, not even JD Freeman! Tonight, daddy's coming home...

TOMMY GRAYSON - ...with a big-ass piece of ROCK and a couple of stitches! Right now, I'm gonna go backstage, and have myself some Budweisers...you just think about what I just said, Patti...just think about it.

Grayson gives a thumbs up towards the camera, and exits the ring. "Terrible Lie" plays over the speakers once again as he begins leaves towards backstage...but, suddenly, Patti taps him on the shoulder, and he turns around almost immediately, not knowing who it is. He is shocked to see that it's Patti. Patti is wearing a low-cut black dress, and black high heels. She smiles at Grayson, and it looks like she said something like, "yes," and hugs Grayson tightly as the fans

begin cheering like hell, and chanting "TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY!" enthusiastically. Grayson and Patti walk to backstage together, arm in arm.

Artful: "A whole cooler full of pudding pops, and their all mine....MINE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Richard Riley: "You can keep them, I'm through. Right after the show I'm going cold turkey. So what did you think of that last match? That was a big surprise seeing Irish Rebel join with IoV. I guess Grayson is going to have a new drinking buddy!"

Artful: "Mine......all mine......there will be no pudding pops for Irish Rebel...none for Grayson, none for the IoV, and none for you."

Richard Riley: "Are you ok? I think maybe you need to go to PPA. I think maybe that little argument with President Aaron has left you slightly unhinged!"

Artful: "He doesn't get any of my pudding pops either. He is not nice. Phil will hate you if you are mean to me.

Richard Riley: "Who the heck is Phil? Here take this card [pulls out a Pudding Pops Anonymous card and hands it to Artful] You need it. Anyway, you may think Aaron is mean but he IS the boss and the guys that pays us, well, you at least."

Artful: "Phil does not like you. He will make you sleep in the basement with the good girls."

Richard Riley: "I can deal with that. My wife may mind though. [leans over towards Artful and whispers] Are there any naughty girls in the basement?"

Artful: "The good girls is nekkid. Phil says that they have to sleep in the dirt because it keeps them warm."

Richard Riley: "We can discus this after the show. You know, call me crazy, but I think you are just trying to avoid the question. It seems like there is some trouble brewing in our executive committee. There was a lot of tension when you and Aaron were up here before the last match."

Artful: "Yeah, so. You got some sort of problem with that?"

Richard Riley: "Um...Me! No! None at all, but I'm sure Aaron does and last time I checked his door said President on it and not yours!"

Artful: "That doesn't mean anything. It's just an ego trip on his part. Look, I don't see his sorry ass out here doing this shit with you. For the love of French toast, man, are you blind? Can't you see what he's trying to do?"

Richard Riley: "Actually, I love French Toast! If you can get me some French Toast, I'll take your side. I hear that we are ready for our next match. It will be my favorite wrestler, not, the "Train and Dean McGrath versus two members of the In Breed!"

Artful: "It's a conspiracy, I tell ya. Wait, I don't have to tell you. You're in on it, aren't you? Admit it! ADMIT IT!!!"

Richard Riley: "No answers until I get my French Toast. In the mean time, let's get to the ring for the next match."

The camera pans around the Hartford civic center as the ring technicians put the finishing touches on the cage for the next match. You can see fans holding up signs like "DI fears New Breed", "You just got Wrecked by the Train" and "I Desire Daddy Desire."

"I Want Your Sex" begins to play as Daddy Desire and "Bomber" Billy Thompson emerge from the back. They are both wearing New Breed T-shirts and they receive a good reaction from the crown as the walk down to ringside. The two New Breed members step through the cage door and raise their arms in the air, which gets a reaction from the New Breed fans.

Train runs at Daddy Desire and nails him with a clothesline. McGrath flies at Thompson, hitting a dropkick that rocks the "Bomber." The "Train" and McGrath both pick up their opponents and whip them in to each other. Desire and Thompson hit head first and they both fall to the mat. The "Train" picks up Thompson and begins hitting lets and rights while McGrath has Desire in a head lock.

Train whips Thompson into the corner and goes to follow up with a splash, but Thompson lifts a knee. Thompson Grabs the "Train" by the back of the head and begins slamming his face into the turnbuckle. The crowd counts along and they reach ten before Thompson finally releases the "Train." Train falls straight back to the mat and Thompson climbs to the second turnbuckle. He jumps off with an elbow drop and follows with a cover, but only gets a two count.

Dean has desire in a headlock and runs up the turnbuckle for a devastating bulldog. He drops a leg on Desire and goes for a cover, but Thompson sees this and nail McGrath in the back of the head with a double axehandle which breaks up the count. Thompson picks up Dean and backs him into a corner. He begins nailing chops to Dean's chest. Desire staggers to his feet and joins his partner. Desire is kicking Dean in the midsection while Thompson continues his assault.

The "Train" finally makes it to his feet and runs at Daddy Desire. Train hits a shoulder block that sends the younger Morlock brother flying into the cage. "The "Train" grabs Desire and in a show of incredible strength, lifts him up into a press slam. Train holds Desire over his head before bringing him down with a vicious power slam.

Thompson continues to work over McGrath. McGrath quickly thumbs Thompson in the eye, causing him to stagger back. Dean deftly climbs the ropes and flies off with a missile dropkick. Train and McGrath switch opponents. Train has Thompson in what looks like a bear hig, but then nails an overhead release suplex that sends Thompson into the cage headfirst. A small cut opens on Thompson's forehead. The "Train" sees this and grabs the back of Thompson's head and begins scrubbing his face into the cage. Thompson screams in pain as blood begins to flow down his face.

McGrath whips Desire into the ropes and then back body drops him into the cage. McGrath grabs Desire and nails a spinebuster. He holds onto his legs and turns him over into a Boston crab. McGrath arches back and Desire is banging on the mat in pain.

Train meanwhile has Thompson in the corner. He is hitting Thompson with knees. He then hip tosses Thompson out of the corner and follows up with a nasty clothesline that practically takes Billy's head off. The "Train" picks up Thompson for what looks like a shoulder breaker, but instead nails a tombstone piledriver. Thompson appears out and Daddy Desire is practically white from pain.

The "Train" gets up and raises his arms up and let's out a scream. The DI fans react as he drops down for the pin, but suddenly the lights go off and everything is dark. The lights remain off for a few moments and then come back on. Thompson and Desire are lying on the mat apparently unconscious. Dean McGrath is standing by the cage door on the other side of the ropes.

The "Train" looks slightly confused. He turns around to see that Dean is wearing a New Breed T-shirt and holding the NA belt. Dean is standing in the corner outside the ropes with nonchalantly. The "Train" goes over to the corner with a shocked look on his face. The "Train" begins yelling a Dean, but he stands there with a blank expression on his face. Train continues to scream at Dean in outrage. Dean begins to smile as Thompson and Desire get up and run up behind the "Train." The both nail him with double axehandle chops to his back, sending him down to the mat.

Desire picks up the "Train" and holds him for Thompson. Thompson unleashes punches and kicks to the "Train", battering him. Desire whips Train into the ropes and he and Thompson hit a double flapjack. The two men begin kicking the "Train" and then pick him up and spear him into the cage, opening a cut on the top of his head. Thompson locks the "Train" in a front face lock and DDTs him to the ground. The "Train" looks practically unconscious.

Thompson holds up the "Train" while McGrath climbs to the top turnbuckle and holds the NA belt up. It looks like he is going to nail the "Train" with his own belt. Dean winks and flies off the top rope. The "Train" ducks at the last second and Dean nails Thompson in the face with the belt. Thompson goes down in a heap and Desire runs at McGrath in a rage over the double cross. Dean catches Desire and nails a hotshot, dropping Desire's throat across the top rope. Dean drops the NA belt and picks up Desire and nails a tiger driver right onto the belt. Desire flops down barely conscious.

The "Train" gets up to his feet and has a huge smile on his face. He and Dean hi-five and begin laughing. The "Train" picks up Desire and lifts him top turnbuckle. He climbs up and calls for his finisher. He throws Daddy Desire over his shoulder and comes off, nailing the Train Wreck onto the NA belt. Desire is out and the ref drops down and counts...1...2...3.....Train and McGrath win!!!!

Winners: The "Train" and Dean McGrath via the Train Wreck and some trickery from McGrath

The "Train" picks up his DI shirt and starts choking Desire with it, while McGrath takes of the New Breed T-shirt, spits on it and starts choking Thompson. The two men continue choking their adversaries as a loud motor hum begins to sound from under the ring. Foam and canvas begin to spray in the air and a large hole is being cut in the center of the ring. You can see a chainsaw blade slice through the mat and then two hands rip the hole open even larger.

Train and McGrath let go of their opponents and Kenneth Morlock's head pops through the hole. Morlock pulls himself up through the hole and then helps a somewhat beat looking Scott Johnson climb up into the ring. Daddy Desire and Thompson get up and stand over with the rest of their stable. They confer a while and then Johnson and Desire begin to advance towards the "Train" and McGrath.

The "Train and McGrath back up into the corner as the two New Breed members advance. They have the look of caged animals and all four New Breed members begin to laugh. The "Train" reaches into his trunks, pulls something out and then hands something to McGrath. Johnson and Desire run toward the two men, but suddenly they throw something in the New Breed's direction. Johnson and Desire are hit in the face with powder and a large cloud of it forms in the ring obscuring everyone's vision.

The cloud of powder clears and you see the "Train" and McGrath drop down from the top of the cage to the outside. Morlock is furious and he is running around the ring cursing at McGrath and Rothschild. The "Train" and McGrath begin laughing and then they both give the New Breed the middle finger and walk away. As they walk, the "Train" hands Dean his DI T-shirt.

Artful: "ADMIT IT!!!!" [throttles Richard Riley violently]

Richard Riley: [choking on a piece of French toast] "He's crazy!"

Artful: [slaps Richard across the face several times] "You're the one behind all of this. I know it. You.....are.....EVIL!!" [violently stuffs a pudding pop into the open mouth of Richard Riley] "Eek! My pudding pop...." [begins to sob] "...my pudding pop...." [begins to cry]

Richard Riley: [removes the pudding pop from his mouth and takes a moment to regain his composure] "Can we please get something up here to calm down the Vice President. For the love of all that is holy, get this man some more pudding pops!"

Artful: [sits up straight in his chair, and wipes his nose on his shirt sleeve] "I'm okay now."

Richard Riley: "Thank the heavens! I thought I was going to have to use a tazer to calm you down. Here, take the last pudding pop. I want you to have it. Now are you going to be able to conduct your self in a reasonable manner or should I have Jon Marx come out here and replace you?"

Richard Riley: "I'm sorry to hear that. Let's have a moment of silence for the great Jon Marx. [bows his head and pauses for a moment] Let's talk about some of the happenings here in the EWA. What do you think about the current state of affairs here?"

Artful: "Well, for one, I don't think Aaron should be sleeping with Diane. She is clearly a whore, and nothing good can come from it. Also, the way Ms. Lisa has been prancing around the locker rooms tonight, you'd think she wasn't getting enough from her beau. Far be it from me to start rumors, but I think she's been eyein' ya."

Richard Riley: "Do you think she'd go out with me? What the wife doesn't know won't hurt her. [realizes he just said that on the air and turns red] Well, I think we are about ready for the Derek Davidson versus Kenneth Morlock, falls count anywhere match."

Richard Riley: Maybe we can have someone get a message down to Morlock before he goes to the ring. [hands a note to a stage hand] Let's hope he gets to Morlock in time. To the ring!"

The fans quiet down waiting in anticipation for the start of the next Falls Count Anywhere brawl. All heads turn towards the entryway as Metallica's "Better Than You" blares from the speakers and "The Extreme Annihilation" Chris Douglas walks down to the ring to a mixture of cheers and boos. He stops beside the ring and stands their with his arms crossed, looking towards the entryway as "Push" by Matchbox 20 is heard, and the Real Deal Kenneth Morlock walks down to the ring with Daddy Desire following close behind him.

Douglas and the Morlock brothers exchange cold stares as Ken enters the ring and Daddy Desire stands outside of the ring on the opposite side of Douglas. Ken taunts Douglas from inside the ring as "Murder, Murder, Murder" by Twiztid is heard and "Devil Child" Derek Davidson walks to the ring with a determined look on his face. He and Douglas nod at each other, and he enters the ring. The ref signals for the bell as Morlock comes up behind Davidson and hits a Russian legsweep.

Morlock quickly jumps up and drops a leg across DD's throat. DD sits up and reaches for Morlock's leg but KM pulls it away and brings it back with a kick to the face of DD, drawing blood from his nose. He picks DD up by the hair and Irish whips him, and elevates him onto the ouside floor. He waits for DD to get to his feet, then runs across the ring and springboards onto DD, but DD catches him and powerslams him on the outside floor! He stands on the ring apron and comes off with an elbow smash! DD sets a table up near KM. He picks KM up and powerbombs him through the table! 1, 2, thre--NO!

Davidson immediately goes for Screaming Pain, but KM grabs a shard of broken wood from the table and cuts a gash on DD's right leg. DD grabs his leg in pain as Morlock slowly stands up and sends DD down to the concrete with a short clothesline. KM picks DD up on his shoulders and carries him up the entrance ramp. He takes a few running steps and hits a Samoan drop on the ramp. He picks KM up and drags him into the concession area followed by Douglas and Desire. He picks him up and tosses him behind a counter. He sets him up for a Piledriver, but DD reverses it into a back body drop! He grabs KM's head, and presses his face into a burning stove!

KM pulls away and grabs his red, blistery face. DD runs up to him and sends him crashing down to the floor with a shoulder-block. He picks him up by the hair but KM hits a low blow, and DD doubles over. KM grabs the cash register from the counter and bashes it over DD's head, busting it open in the back! DD falls down and KM covers him. 1, 2, three--NO!!! DD raises his shoulder.

KM takes him up, and takes him up to the counter. He hooks DD's arms, and suplex's him over the counter and into a crowd of onlookers! DD stands up groggily, and KM comes up behind him and locks in a sleeper! The ref checks in on DD, who is slowly going out. He lifts the arm and drops it once...twice...and a thir--no...DD keeps his arm up, reaches back around KM, and hits a belly-to-back suplex on the concrete floor.

Both men take time to recover, and start brawling. They fight down a long passage with Douglas and Desire following close behind shouting at each other from a distance. KM tries to whip DD, who reverses it and sends KM through a door and down a flight of stairs! KM lands in a long hallway with locker rooms lining the sides. DD drags him by the head to the New Breed locker room, picks him up press-style, and throws him head-first into the door! He starts picking KM up, but looks and sees Daddy Desire in front of the D.I. locker room, with a can of spray-paint, spraying the words, "New Breed" on the door. Douglas goes to stop him, but Davidson reaches him first, he snatches the can from his grasp and nails Desire over the head with it!

Kenneth comes up behind DD and hits a reverse DDT! 1, 2, thr--no! Kenneth drags DD back down the entrance ramp and towards the ring. He tosses DD in, and grabs a steel chair. He goes to the top rope, and comes off and bashes DD over the head with the chair! He covers him, 1, 2, three--NO!!! Davidson kicks out. Morlock takes him up top and sets him up for a suplerplex, but DD kicks him in the groin, and hits a faceslam from the top rope! He hooks Morlocks arms, picks him up and hits the Devil Driver! The fans start cheering...as Scott Johnson and Billy Thompson run down to the ring!

Daddy Desire jumps to the ring apron, but Douglas pulls him off, and starts beating on him! He sees Johnson from the corner of his eye and pulls him back from the ring, but Thompson slips past him with a barbed-wire wrapped chair! He comes behind Davidson and nails him in the back of the head! The ref is distracted by the commotion and doesn't see this, until he turns and sees Kenneth Morlock applying the figure-four on Davidson! Davidson is out, and his shoulders are down! 1, 2, 3!!!

Douglas jumps off of Johnson and goes in to check on Davidson. He bends over as Morlock comes up behind him and hits a double ax-hammer! Douglas falls, as Morlock helps Davidson up, and they both start stomping on Douglas! They raise their hands, as Thompson comes in, and tosses a New Breed shirt to Davidson. Davidson holds it up, and throws it in Kenneth Morlock's face, and dives on him and starts beating on him!

The surprised Thompson starts pulling DD off but CD comes up behind him and throws him off, as Daddy Desire and Scott Johnson come in! The two New Breed members start beating on Douglas and Davidson...as Cyris, Suicide King, and the Train run down to the ring!

Artful: "So, what do we have left? Some sort of main event, I would imagine."

Richard Riley: [looks at the program format] "Actually we still have the Suicide King versus Lonewolf match, which I do believe should be coming up shortly."

Artful: "Damn him, he's always sneakin' a match in at the last minute. " [stands up] "Well, I'm not going to stand for this!" [realizes he's standing, then sits back down]

Richard Riley: "That Suicide King is a tricky one. What's the deal with Lonewolf? Is he really crazy or is it just an act, kind of like that thing the "Train" pulled a few months ago?"

Artful: "Mad as a hatter. No doubt about it."

Richard Riley: "Masturbation and feces, a brilliant combination for a wrestling career!"

Artful: "What more could you ask for? It's got everything. Pathos, Dartangion, Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Zepho."

Richard Riley: "And Rudolph. He's my favorite raindeer. I hear from the guys in the truck that the next match is ready to begin!"

Artful: "Didn't I fire them?"

Richard Riley: "Yes, but you rehired them for less pay. Maybe now you guys can pay me. While Artful and I are negotiating, let's watch this madcap and fun filled matchup!"

As the camera pans down across the crowd, we can see the excitement starting to build here in Hartford, Conneticut. The excitement reaches a furor as the lights go out. We can hear the creepy music of Lonewolf starting to pour out of the PA system. Just when the fans are about to explode with anticipation, Lonewolf walks out of the back to a HUGE pop. He slaps hands with several of the fans on his way to ringside. When he climbs into the ring, the lights come back on and he begins to stretch as he prepares for the match.

Suddenly the lights drop agian and "The Suck For Your Solution", by Maryln Manson blares over the PA system. Suicide King walks out of the back holding his hands over his head. He walks like this all the way to ringside totally ignoring the fans at ringside. He climbs into the ring and the lights come on. SK gives a long glaring look towards his opponent as the bell rings and we are under way.

In the middle of the ring, SK and LW get in a collar and elbow tie up resulting in SK putting LW in an armbar. He is holding on for a couple of seconds when LW drops to his back does a kip-up and reverses the maneuver. SK wisely uses momentum to get to the ropes and the ref breaks to hold. The two end up back in the middle of the ring in a collar and elbow tie up once agian. This time SK, the bigger man, easily overpowers LW and throws him into the turnbuckle. SK quickly follows him in with a knee to the face. This causes LW to slump to the mat and LW wisely rolls out of the ring to try to regroup himself.

SK backs off and waits for LW to get back to his feet. As the still woosy LW makes it closer to the ring SK runs and OH MY GOD!! Suicide Planca that sends both men tumbling back to the guard rail. SK, being the least tired of the two men makes it back to his feet first. He grabs LW by the hair and lifts him to his feet and attempts an Irish Whip into the steel steps, but no LW reverses it and SK nails the steps with a loud clang. LW walks over to SK and picks up the steps and brings them down hard on his head opening a huge gash. SK is bleeding all over the place. LW grabs SK by the tights and rolls him back into the ring.

As LW is taking his sweet time getting back into the ring, SK is clearing the cobwebs out of his head. LW walks over to SK and goes for a double axe-handle in the lower back, but no he took to long and SK nails him right in the gut. LW staggers back and falls down taking the ref out with him.

SK seems pleased with this idea as he grabs the urinal and crashes it over the head of LW. He then brings it down across LW's back a number of times until he sees the ref stirring. Wisely, SK tosses the urinal out of the ring and lays on top of LW. The ref seeing this crawls over and makes the count 1 ... 2 ...3.

Winner: Suicide King via Men's Urinal

After the match, Chris Douglas grabs the urinal and heads back to the locker room area with it holding it high above his head. Then suddenly out of nowhere, Billy Thompson and Scott Johnson run out of the back wearing New Breed T-Shirts. They clock Douglas on their way down to ringside. They slide into the ring cornering SK, Thompson dives for SK's ankles taking him to the ground, then Johnson removes his shirt, sits on SK's back and chokes him with the shirt. LW just waking up sees this and decides the best thing to do would to get out of the ring as quietly as possible and make his way to the back. Meanwhile in the ring Johnson and Thompson are viciously choking SK and finally he passes out unconcious. Johnson then drapes the New Breed shirt over the chest of SK. "Bombtrack", by Rage Aginst the Machine blares over the PA as the two make their way out of the arena.

Richard Riley: [turns towards camera] "If I let him win, I finally get paid. [turns back] What a great, fun filled match that was!"

Artful: "You almost had me when you moved that little pawn guy, but I'm just to damn smart for ya."

Richard Riley: [in a sarcastic tone] Oh, Mr. Vice President. You are the most masterful chess player ever. You are the greatest!"

Artful: "Shut up, I hate it when people act all smarmy, and shit."

Richard Riley: "Who? Me? I would never act smart to the most powerful man in the EWA!"

Artful: "I didn't say smart. I said smarmy, and you're still doing it."

Richard Riley: "You must still be overdosing on those pudding pops. I could never act smarmy, I don't even know what it means!"

Artful: [looks around the desk] "God damnit, who stole my dictionary? Bah, nevermind. You're just a smarmy bastard. And that's all I have to say about that. So there. Is it main event time yet?"

Richard Riley: "That's right. It is that time again and to think I was just getting to enjoy my time here with you. Our main event tonight will be Drifter attempting to capture the North American title from the current champion, the "Train in a dumpster match. Any last comments?"

Artful: Didn't we just see that chode monkey? No, wait, that was Suicide King."

Richard Riley: "Yes, the last match was the chode monkey, this next match will feature everyone's favorite ass goblin, Wayney, the "Trainey." Let's see if he can hold onto that title or if Drifter takes it back to his cardboard "palace."

The lights begin to flash and the announcer grabs the mic, the crowd begins to chant DI, DI, DI and he begins.....

Announcer - "Well it's time everyone for the special Main Event!!!!!!!!!! Heading to ring this time is the Huge Dumpster, filled with glass, thumb tacks, nails, wood chunks, and best of all a special surprise, we decided hey why not make it a challenge and lace the top of the dumpster with grease!!!!

The crowd begins to go Wild!!!!!! 4 EWA crew man begin to roll the dumpster down to ringside......Once at ringside they push it right up against the ring apron, leaving just enough room to get in front of it and flip the padlock on it."

Announcer - "The rules to the match are real real simple....... Just put your opponent in the dumpster and lock himi n it so he can't get out........this match will be scheduled for one fall and will be for ...........THE EWA North American Championship Belt!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The lights begin to flicker and "Riders on the Storm" by The Doors begins to play over the PA, and out from the back steps Drifter....the crowd begins to rush to the fence and the few DR fans push there way to the front.

Announcer - "Making his way to ring at this time and the challenger...Weighing in at 332 pounds and standing at a massive 6"10, A man who comes out match after match trying to end the reign of DI, and revive the once large DR stable. The man goes by.............DRIFTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Drifter standing at the top of the entrance way is wearing a long trench coat and raises his arms as if signaling victory. He slowly begins to make his way down to ring........ once at ringside he observes the Large Dumpster, and tests the lid a few times to see how slick it is....... he realizes anyone falling into the dumpster is going to have a hell of a time crawling out!!! Drifter hops up on the apron and ducks under the middle rope..... He quickly takes off his trench coat and throws it at the announcer and grabs the Mic....

Drifter - "Alright Train, you have been pissing me off for the last few weeks now and to top it all off you stepped in my way with OG and for that you are going to pay prepare to get trashed!!! And by the way bring me my Damn Belt!!!!!!"

Drifter takes a step back and pitches the mic back to the announcer..... and suddenly from over the PA "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine begins to play... and out from the back Steps Train!!!!

Announcer - "Making his way to ringside at this time and weighing in at 280 and standing 6 foot 5 inches tall.... He plowed through all the competition to win the NAC belt, and is known best for the injuries he has applied on his opponents. They call Him Wayne "The Train" Rothschild!!!!!"

Wayne begins to make his way down the ramp as fireworks spray in all directions and 2 rockets spray from the entrance way and shoot towards ringside and blow up spelling "DI" Wayne quickly hops up on the apron and ignores the fact that the dumpster is even there. He reaches out and ask for the Mic......

Wayne - "Alright lets get one fact establish first Drifter!!!!! This is my belt not yours I earned it not you. The Second thing is YOU SUCK...... Prepare for yet another loss..... "

Wayne tosses the mic, and hits Drifter hard in the head, that sends Drifter into a rage, and him running at Wayne infuriated...... The two begin to trade rights and lefts, the bell rings, and the match appears to be underway.... Drifter flies back after a few rights, and hits the mat hard. Drifter pops right back up on his feet and charges at WR once again.. knocking him off his feet. Drifter begins to pound on WR as he struggles to gain the upper hand. Drifter gets to his feet and grabs WR by the neck and drags him up... HE picks him up for a body slam and chucks him over the top rope..

WR back ricochets off the apron and OHHH MY GOD!!!!!! Wayne just landed into the dumpster!!!! The impact is heard around the arena as he slams into the middle of the dumpster. Shard of everything begin to puncture Wayne's skin. Wayne is cut all over the place... he manages to get to the edge of the dumpster after a few seconds, and begins to pull himself out. There are about 20 nails and tacks jabbing out of his back as limps out onto thr floor in a pool of blood. Somehow WR manages to get to his feet and Drifter comes flying over the top rope looking to hit an aieral Hurricanrana..........

Wayne blocks it!!!!!!! and Wham hits Drifter with the reversal sending him into an inverted pomb-bomb. As Drifter hits the concrete a loud thud is heard around the arena as his head hits the ground, and he is not moving. WR gets to his feet and pulls out the several objects that where stuck in his back..... WR bends over for a second and regains a little bit of energy, and walks over to one of the fans, grabs the beer right out of the big guys hand in the front row, and takes a drink. Then dumps the rest in Drifter's face.....

Drifter is awake now, but barely.... blood begins to trinkle down a large cut in the back of Drifter's head.... WR remembered that he can't win this match by pinfall, and Drfiter unconscious is just dead weight... As WR grabs Drifter by the hair and drags him off of the ground. Drifter pulls down hard and hits on his knees sending WR's jaw slamming into the hard top of Drifter's head. WR falls on the ground holding his mouth.

Drifter slowly begin to get off the concrete wiping the blood off his neck and hops up onto the apron. WR sees Drifter climbing up on the apron and he pulls Drifter down and chuckes him into the dumpster.. Drifter falls in and sinks in as if in deep water. He isn't moving and the top of the materials in the dumpster are covered with blood. Wayne runs over and drops lid..... After a few breaths he walks in front of the dumpster and begins to lock it When..................... Drifter pops open the lid and knocks it back up. Cuts are all over his body as he begins to hammer on Wayne's face. Wayne falls to the concrete....... Drifter slowly begins to push himself up and out of the dumpster, but at the last second slips on the grease and falls right back in.the dumpster. Drifter is hurt and hurt badly.................

He reaches up and grabs the top of the dumpster and tried to pull himself out agian. and Wayne is back up to his feet. WR walks over and clocks Drifter in his head sending him tumbling back into the dumpster................... WR quickly slams the lid down once again as Drifter lies there unconscious. The lid is shut and WR scrambles to lock it with everything he has left. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Drifter find the strength somehow and pushes the lid open and climbs outof the cage rolling up on the apron and under the bottom rope. There is a huge blood trail that Drifter is leaving behind as he stands up on his feet WR in not of the kind of shape Drifter is in rols quickly into the ring and grabs Drifter in a front face lock. WR hits a vicious DDT sending him down hard to the mat. WR capitalizes and picks Drifter off

the mat and signals...............

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!!!! WR just hit the Train Wreck over the top rope and they both land in the dumpster. Both of them are not moving..... they both lie there imbedded in the shards of material. After a few secons WR grabs the side of the dumpster and with everything he has he falls out of the dumpster and on to the floor. Blood is everywhere now...in the ring all over these two combatants an Drifter is not moing at all... Paramedis may need o be caled in as chunks can be see jabbing out of his face. WR stands up and shuts the lid... We walks over and grabs the lock........... Snap... ding ding ding.

Winner and Still Champion: The "Train" via Locking Drifter in Dumpster.

Bonecrusher by Soul Hat blares throuout the arena as VP errr.. Prez Freeman makes his way toward the ring. The crowd reacts almost violently to his appearance but of course, he isn't fazed by the obviously unwelcoming crowd. Freeman struts to the ring, mic in hand, and climbs in. After giving the fans a once over, he raises the mic and begins to speak.

Prez Freeman: Alright, alright, enough. I know you all love me, so you can cut the damn act. I got something important to announce here!!

The crowd of fans, finally settles down somewhat and allows Prez Freeman to make this announcement.

Prez Freeman: Tonight, I have two, count em, two major announcements. First of all, everyone knows by now, that the EWA has a brand spanking new, Television Champ, right?

The fans roar their acknowledgement, knowing full well that Capital Punishment is the champ.

Prez Freeman: Now, what does it meant to be the TV Champ? Can anyone tell me that? No, don't answer that. I'll tell you. Being the Television Champ, means that you are supposed to defend that belt at every, and I do mean, EVERY television show!! But, for some strange reason, looking at tonight's lineup, you see no Capital Punishment listed to compete! Well, that's about to change, my friends. You see, I have decided that Capital Punishment WILL be competing here tonight!!

The crowd roars its approval at the announcement.

Prez Freeman: So without Further ado, Capital, get your ass out here!!

The arena lights start flickering and the sound of electricity can be heard. Capital Punishment makes his way to the ring and is almost bowled over by the response from the fans. Their still cheering, almost half a minute after he climbs into the ring. Capital regards Freeman with a look of almost pure hatred and leans up against a turnbuckle.

Prez Freeman: Well, Capital Punishment... how are you doing tonight? Hope you're ready pal, because you're getting something that I KNOW you want. Here's your opponent!!

Prez Freeman points up the eisle as Dare to be Stupid by Weird Al plays. WyldChylde staggers through the curtain and stands there. He looks over the crowd and starts nodding his head. Then, he starts a conga line toward the ring. As soon as he clears the curtain, everyone notices his partners in the conga line. Three blow up dolls are attached in a row behind him and each one has a little sign on the chest that says.. "Miss Lisa". Wyld and co. conga their way down to ringside, and they do a couple of laps around the ring. Suddenly, Wyld reaches into his tights and produces a rather large........ needle, popping all three of his "companions" before climbing into the ring.

Prez Freeman climbs out of the ring and watches as Wyld and Capital circle each other. The two men go to lock up, but....

Prez Freeman: Wait... hold on a second.

Wyld and Capital stop in mid-lock, and turn to face Freeman.

Prez Freeman: Remember Capital, this match is for the TV Title, so fight it like you mean it!

Wyld and Capital begin circling each other again. Both men looking for an opening. They rush each other and....

Prez Freeman: Oh, wait... hold on...

The two men stop again and look over at Freeman.

Prez Freeman: That means that if Wyld pins you, he gets the TV Belt.

Wyld and Capital both roll their eyes and go to lock up again, but...

Prez Freeman: Oh, and one more thing fellas... this match is no DQ, falls count ANYWHERE!!!!

Finally, both men have had enough. Simultaniously, they yell at Freman.

Both: Will you shut up and let us fight?!?!?!?!?!?!

Freeman gets a look on his face as if to say "Well!! I never" and leaves. Finally, Wyld and Capital lock up in the middle of the ring. No, really this time. The much larger Capital, uses his height/weight advantage to shove Wyld back into the corner. Capital goes for a forearm smash, but Wylde ducks under and scoots behind Capital.

Then, Capital jumps as Wyld shoves his first two fingers on each hand into Capital's sides. That's what we in the wrestling biz call, a greco roman tickle. Capital's face turns red with fury as he turns to face Wyld, who is at this moment, doing the cha cha in the middle of the ring, much to the delight of the fans. Wyld is so engrossed in his dancing, he doesn't see Capital come up behing him. Capital shoves Wyld, chest first into the turnbuckles and starts pounding on his back and shoulders with forearm shots. Capital grabs Wyld by the shoulder and spins him around, nailing a vicious, backhand chop to the smaller man's chest. He hits another that send Wyld, almost over the top rope, but Capital catches him before he can topple over.

Wyld is stunned in the corner, and Capital takes a run back, and rushes to the corner, sandwiching Wyld!!! Capital moves out of the corner and falls flat on his face. Capital picks Wyld up and throws him through the ropes and to the floor. He climbs out and picks Wyld up again, leaning him against the ring post. Capital measures Wyld up, then rushes him, but NOOO!!!! Wylde ducks under and Capital smashes his shoulder into the post!!! Capital falls to the arena floor, clutching at his left shoulder!! He rolls there for a moment, before trying to get back to his feet. Once back to his vertical base, he looks around for Wyld. But Wyld is nowhere to be seen...

Capital gets a confused look on his face until he hears a familiar voice from the front row.

Voice: Come on Capital!!! Yay for Capital Punishment!!!! Go Cappy, go Cappy, go Cappy....

You have never seen ugly, until you see a skinny white man with frizzy hair do the cabbage patch. Wyld is in a seat in the first row, cheering on his opponent!! The fans in the first three rows, stop their own cheering and begin staring at Wyld. He looks around and stops in mid-cabbage patch and gets a sheepish grin on his face.

Wyld jumps back over the railing and nails Capital with kick to the gut. Capital bends over in pain, and Wyld muuses his hair before jumping back over the railing and running through the crowd going... "WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO" Capital recovers rather quickly and jumps over the railing himself. He starts making his way through the crowd in pursuit of WyldChylde. All he can see, is a flash of wild blonde hair every now and then. Soon, Capital makes it through the crowd and into the main lobby of the arena. Here, there are alot of souvenier booths and concession stands. He looks around for Wyld, and sees a flash of blonde hair just as a door off to the left, is closing.

Capital makes his way over tot he door, and slams it open. He strides into... the bathroom? The walls are lined on one side with urinals and on the other with stalls. All of the stall doors are closed, so Capital starts making his way down the row, looking under the doors. About half way down, he spots a pair of wrestling boots under one of the doors and stands back up. Capital grabs the top of the door, and wrenches it open. Wyld is... well... sitting on the toilet... he starts screaming as soon as the door flies open.

Wyld: Dammit!! Can't you see I'm busy? You pervert!!!! Go outside and wait!!

 Capital slams the door, and goes outside to the lobby. He stands there a good ten minutes, opening the bathroom door every now and then to make sure Wyld hasn't left through some other exit. Each time, he closes the door when he hears Wyld singing such songs as... The Mr Hanky Song of Southpark fame (fitting), and a slightly different version of Born in the USA. (Born in a septic tank?) Anyway, Capital stands there for about five more minutes, waiting for Wyld to finish his, ummm... business. Getting a little impatient, Capital opens the door again, and is met with a trash can smash to the face!!!

Wyld is now done! He leaps out of the bathroom and starts pounding on Capital with rights and lefts. He picks the trash can up again, and smashes it down on Capital's chest!! Then he sees the concession stand. Wyld stops in mid swing and drops the trash can. He walks over to the concession stand and starts arguing with the person behind the counter about the necessity of getting mint oreos in stock.

Capital gets to his feet and walks over to where the argument continues. He taps Wyld on the shoulder, but Wyld just waves him off and asks the person behind the counter about Cheez Wiz. capital taps Wyld on the shoulder again, and again, is waved off. Then, capital just grabs Wyld by the shoulder and spins him around, nailing a clothesline in the process! The momentum from the clothesline sends Wyld over the counter and into the popcorn machine. Popcorn goes flying in every direction and Wyld slips on the spilled butter, falling to the floor. Capital vaults over the counter and is careful to stay out of the melted dairy product. He goes to pick Wyld up, but gets an eye full of salt for his trouble. Capital starts rubbing his stinging eyes as Wyld sits up. He looks at his boots, that are covered in melted butter, then...slowly.... a wide grin spread across his face.

Wyld jumps up and steadies himself against the counter. He rubs his feet in the butter and climbs over the counter. Before you can say Kristie Yamaguchi, Wyld is ice skating...well, butter skating across the lobby and toward the exit. He gets up some pretty good speed, and soon realizes that he can't stop. Sorry, but wresling boots weren't made with brakes. Wyld starts pinwheeling his arms and tries to backpedal, but it's no use. He slams into the exit door and flips out onto the entryway to the arena. Wyld stands and looks around, seeing the highway. He takes off as Capital comes through the exit door.

Capital looks around and sees Wyld running toward the highway and takes off after him. He finally catches up with Wyld, and the two men begin trading lefts and rights. Capital gets the advantage here and knocks Wyld to the ground. Capital picks Wyld up and thows him onto the highway!!! Cars are screaming by, honking as they come upon the two men fighting. Barely avoiding getting run down, the two men contiue to fight across the busy road. Once across the highway, Capital scoops Wyld up and slams him down on the ground. he picks Wyld up and delivers a bulldog that sends Wyld's head, smashing into the trunk of a VW Beetle!!! Capital, sensing victory, picks Wyld up again and suplexes him onto another VW Beetle.

Capital is on the verge of picking Wyld up again, but pauses when he sees the crazed look in his eyes. Wyld looks around like a... well, a wild man. He jumps to his feet with a scream and just starts pelting Capital with rights and lefts. All the while, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Wyld: SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! LUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG! SLUG BUG!

It seems that the fight has ended up at a local VW dealership. Wyld continues beating on Capital until he runs out of Beetles. Wyld then steps back and watches Capital collapse to the ground. He foes for the cover. The ref counts immediately....

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!!!

Thr.. NOOOOOO!!!!!! Wyld sits up, not allowing the ref to reach the three count. He sits there for a moment, then covers again.

ONE!!!!

TWO!!!!!

THR... Wyld catches the ref's hand, just inches away from the three count. This time, Wyld gets to his feet and starts pacing back and forth.

Wyld: But I don't WANT the title.... Gotta think of something.... what to do... what.... to.... do.....

A wicked grin crosses wyld's face and he snaps his fingers.

Wyld: I GOT IT!!!!

He starts scanning the small crowd that has gathered to watch the fight, and spots the person he's looking for.

Wyld: HEY Enrique!!! Come here for a sec!!!

A man starts shoving his way through the crowd. He stands a mammoth 4' 10" and is wearing a leather vest with a biker's cap on his head and carrying a small whip. Wyld calls the small man over and whispers something in his ear. The man begins to smile and HE covers Capital.

ONE!!!

TWO!!!!!!!

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winner: And ummm new TV Champ err... ummm.... Enrique? via WyldChylde delivering the Slug Bug from hell!!!!

Richard Riley: "Oh my god! We have a new champion! Enrique the bondage dwarf is the new TV champion. What a development!!! Wait a minute! There is some commotion in the back. I think President Aaron is about to come out to ringside. This could be major.

Suddenly, a voice yells "HOLD IT!" and My Hero by the Foo Fighters blasts from the speakers. President Aaron comes out to some cheers, some boos, and makes his way to the ring, mike in hand.

Aaron: Alright, Freeman, I saw that shit you just pulled, and I'm not standing for it! Enrique, get your miniature fat ass out here!

"Short People (got no reason to live)" Plays over the speakers, and Enrique comes out, wearing the TV belt around his waist... and stomach... and chest... He tries to climb into the ring, but the belt is preventing him from doing so. He's having troubles with the weight. Finally one of the ring hands helps him into the ring, and he stands next to Aaron and looks up... WAY up... Aaron glares down at him.

Aaron: "You weren't contracted for that match, you have no right to the belt, hell, you aren't even on the fucking roster! Take that belt off, it's going back to Capital Punishment!!"

Enrique starts shaking his head, then dances with the belt, pointing to it and then himself, as if to say "it's MINE!" Aaron grabs him, knocks him down, and unstraps the belt from around his waist. Enrique gets to his feet, lip trembling, and Artful comes down to ringside and starts yelling in Aaron's face about taking the title away from his man. Aaron just glares at him, then points a finger.

Aaron: You listen to me, Artful! For the last time, *I* make the rules, NOT you, NOT Freeman, so get it through your fat skull that what you say don't mean SHIT around here!

Artful and Aaron stare each other down, then Artful grabs Enrique's shoulder. Before leaving the ring, he snarls out,

Artful: You better start recognizing the people who do the work for you around here. Or else, they won't be working for YOU anymore.

Artful leaves, and instantly the sound of electricity pours from the speakers, along with thunder. Capital Punishment comes out, a little the worse for wear, and climbs into the ring. Aaron shakes his hand, then hands the belt to Capital. Capital holds it high above his head when...

The lights go out...Powerful strobelights, rapid fire, start flashing from all corners of the arena. Two men are seen in the ring, struggling, but there are no weapons evident. When the lights go up, Capital is on the ground, and a figure in a black martial arts gi and oriental demon's mask is holding him up by the throat. It's Gouki! We can hear Gouki's voice coming from the speakers in the arena, but Aaron's mike is still in his hand, in fact, there isn't a mic near Gouki at all. His voice is low and deep.

Gouki: You've ducked me long enough, prey. Next week, you will deal with ME and ME alone.

Gouki slams Capital back down to the mat, and looks at Aaron, who's back is directly to the camera. We can see Gouki's face in full, and realize there is only black where his eyes should be.

Gouki: Make it happen, Aaron. I await your word.

With that, he raises his arms and the lights go black. When they come up seconds later, Gouki is gone.

Richard Riley: "What the HELL is going on around here? Has the whole world gone mad? We're out of time. Thank God!!! See you next week in Richmond."

The camera pans back down to the ring and it focuses on President Aaron's face which is a mask of anger and of stress. Aaron disgustingly drops the microphone and leaves the ring as the show goes to crdits.