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Newsletter Section Newsletter to be sung to the tune of Snoopy's Christmas. News came out in the VH3 draw, It was the month before Christmas, nineteen to go, Christmas smells those Christmas smells, The Frenchy had Tubba caught in his tights, Christmas smells those Christmas smells,
The Frenchy then offered a ranfurly toast, Christmas smells those Christmas smells,
------------------------------------------------ And so it was Le Frenchy Nuite, Le sausage a la not very hot, Le longe loaf only justa left by Le Derfus, Le beer - ah t'was long and cold, may oui. La pate` le couleur de la Toby turd. Le Boules, they flew long and straight. But yes Monsieur, La creme de la creme, it musta bea statied, (change accent - Pommy) The shark and taties were a fuckin' disaster mate. !!! On On An Evening With Madonna The following are extracts from an interview with Madonna by the Hungarian magazine Blikk. The questions to Madonna were asked in Hungarian and then translated into English. Madonna's responses were then translated into Hungarian. The interview was then published in Hungarian and, finally, translated back into English. Time Magazine states, "to say that something was lost in the process is to be wildly ungrateful for all that was gained" ---------------------------------------------------- BLIKK: Madonna, Budapest says hello with arms that are spread-eagled. Did you have a visit here that was agreeable? Are you in good odor? You are the biggest fan of our young people who hear your musical productions and like to move their bodies in response. MADONNA: Thank you for saying these compliments (holds up hands). Please stop with taking sensationalist photographs until I have removed my garments for all to see. (laughs). This is a joke I have made. BLIKK: Madonna, let's cut to toward the hunt. Are you a bold hussy-woman that feasts on men who are tops? MADONNA: Yes, yes, this is certainly something that brings to the surface my longings. In America it is not considered to be mentally ill when a woman advances on her prey in a discotheque setting with hardy cocktails present. And there is a more normal attitude toward leather play-toys that also makes my day. BLIKK: Is this how you met Carlos, your love servant who is reputed? Did you know he was heaven-sent right off the stick? Or were you dating many other people in your bed at the same time? MADONNA: No, he was the only one I was dating in my bed then, so it is a scientific fact that the baby was made in my womb using him. But as regards those questions, enough! I am a woman and not a test-mouse! Carlos is an everyday person who is in the orbit of a star who is being muscle-trained by him, not a sex machine. BLIKK: May we talk about your other "baby," your movie, then? Please do not be denying that the similarities between you and the real Evita are grounded in basis. Power, money, tasty-food, Grammys -- all these elements are afoot. MADONNA : What is up in the air with you? Evita never was winning a Grammy! BLIKK: Perhaps not. But as to your film, in trying to bring your reputation along a rocky road, can you make people forget the bad explosions of Who's That Girl? and Shanghai Surprise? MADONNA: I am a tip-top starlet. That is the job that I am paid to do. BLIKK : O.K. here's a question from left space. What was your book Slut about? MADONNA: It was called Sex, my book. BLIKK: Not in Hungary. Here it was called Slut. How did it come to publish? Were you lovemaking with a man-about-town printer? Do you prefer making suggestive literature to fast selling CD's? MADONNA: These are different facets to my career highway. I am preferring only to become respected all over the map as a 100% artist. BLIKK: There is much interest in you from this geographical region, so I must ask this final questions. How many Hungarian men have you dated in bed? Are they No. 1? How are they comparing to Argentine men, who are famous for being tip-top as well? MADONNA: Well, to avoid aggravating global tension, I won't say. It's a tie (laughs). No, no, I am serious now. See here I am working like a canine all the way around the clock! I am too busy even to try the goulash the makes your country for the record books. BLIKK : Thank you for your candid chitchat. MADONNA: No problem, friend who is a girl. Joke Section One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years." An Australian ranger was out checking farm fences in his four wheel drive when he hits a pig. He radios the ranch for advice. "The pig is stuck in the bull bars and still alive, but kicking and squealing so much I can't get it free" he says. "OKAY" says his boss, "In the back of the 4x4 there's a .303 rifle. Put it to the pigs head, and shoot it. When it's body goes all limp, you'll be able to get if off the bull bars and throw it into the bush" About 45 minutes later the rancher calls in again; "I did what you said boss, I shot the pig in the head and he went all limp, and I got it out of the bull bars no problem. But I still can't go on" "Why not ? asks his boss "whats the problem?" "Well it's his motorbike, the blue light is jammed under the wheel arch" An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light up in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother." Competition Section Name the song referred to in this picture. Couch, who supplied the picture, is barred from entry
Next Run Section The: "We Wish You A Merry Last Run of the Millennium CHRISTMAS RUN" by the committee. Be at the: Pinnacle Club Remember the following; v It's a $20.00 run v You need to be wearing some christmas decorationy thingy bizzo on the run v You need to bring a wrapped chrissy present of not more than $5.00 in value From the Vet Net Roving Reporter As the chances of me receiving, printing and posting another newsletter this side of Christmas are NIL, I would like to take this opportunity to wish all in the Vets a very Merry Christmas. I will be in the far north – don't come calling.
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