Torn ACL Fantasy Football League

Year established: 1996

Current Owner: Glenn Murray

Overall record: 53-53-0

Playoff record: 0-4

Toilet Bowl record: 2-3 (1996, 2002 Toilet Bowl champions)

First round picks: 1996 - Emmitt Smith, 1997 - Jeff Blake, 1998 - Mark Brunell, 1999 - Peyton Manning, 2000 - Cade McNown, 2001 - Edgerrin James, 2002 - Daunte Culpepper, 2003 - Peyton Manning.

The Dallas Bulls were formed by Glenn Murray in 1996. His first pick in the inaugural draft was RB Emmitt Smith, but even he couldn't save the Bulls from the abyss that they fell into. In contention at 3-4 halfway through the '96 season, Dallas dropped 5 of their last 7 sending them straight into a tie for last place. In the first ever Toilet Bowl, they were flushed by the Tampa Bay Bombers in a massacre.

Things did not fare much better for the Bulls in '97 when they drafted QB Jeff Blake. He was a major bust as the Bulls started 0-3, including a drubbing on opening day from Anchorage. Despite winning their final two games, the hole they dug themselves was too deep and with a record identical to 1996, they went right back where they come from...the Toilet. They did manage to avoid further embarrassment by defeating the Phools in the first round of Toilet action.

With the 4th pick of the '98 draft, owner Glenn Murray could've chosen for all-world RB Terrell Davis, but passed him over for injury-prone QB Mark Brunell. Even though this seemed like a bone-headed move at the time, the Bulls did improve to a 7-6 record, good enough for 2nd place in the West. It was an up-and-down year, and as Dallas headed for its first playoff ever, it was downtime. A loss to Cancun at home ended their Super Bowl bid a week into the postseason.

Owner Glenn Murray actually displayed brain cells in 1999 when he selected Peyton Manning 7th overall. Manning turned out to be the only decent pick in the top 10. Dallas remained atop the West for much of the season, staving off challenges by San Francisco and Houston. They avoided winning the number 1 seed outright when they lost to the Superunknowns in week 13, but by tie-breakers they won it anyway. A bye week was welcomed by Glenn, who then lost in the Western Conference Final to Houston and the Hatmakers. Glenn believes his trend is systematic, and he will win the West, but lose the Super Bowl in 2000. Way to shoot for the stars, ducky.

Glenn looked like a smart man again in the 2000 draft when Cade McNown proved to be a player, but that ended quickly with McNown's shoulder injury. Despite that loss, the Bulls managed to wage quite a battle for the top spot in the West all season long. Dallas never was officially the first seed until Week 13, when a victory and a Houston loss gave the Mouth the top seed outright with a 9-4 record. With that he had earned the bye for a second straight year. The male cows and their mad cow owner were pretty happy until Commissioner Steve pointed out that Glenn's systematic trend was flawed, since he had skipped a step. This rattled the Bulls as they fell for the second straight year in the Western Conference Championship, once again to a third seeded team. His system in pieces, Glenn must now find a way to escape the ghosts of the Conference Finals, or go back to the Toilet, from whence he came.

The Bulls were feeling bully with Edgerrin James at number four in 2001, but it was the deal that wasn't made which became the story in big D. Turning down a James for Terrell Owens trade proved fatal since James went down with an injury and never returned. Meanwhile Ed McCaffrey exited quickly with a shattered leg, leaving a hole in the wide-out position. Hmmm. They remained in the hunt in the West anyway (everybody was) until the final week when San Francisco dumped the glorified cows into the toilet. This loss left the sensation of foot-and-mouth disease (or was it foot IN mouth?) with the team's owner. Luckily for Glenn, he wasn't barbecued since dispatching with Singapore proved no problem. Will Glenn pull the trigger on a deal next time around?

The 2002 season for the Dallas Bulls was, well, like all of the other seasons in the past. Terrible, awful, disgusting...you get the picture. The team started out 0-4, and never made a serious run at any point during the year. The team's only highlight, though, was a stunning sweep of their hated arch-rival nemesis San Francisco in weeks 12 and 13, costing the Blowfish to blow up and lose a chance to make the playoffs. In typical fashion, though, Glenn's team found a way to lose, as the Bulls were taken to the woodshed and beated to a bloody pulp by San Fran in week 14 and then finished off by Tampa in week 15. Their reward? A 2nd Toilet Bowl title. Ugh.