The scene begins today in the usual local of the living room in the home of WWFW Ironman trophy holder's sister, Alicia, and her younger brother, Dorito. Dorito sits at the far end of the couch against the wall, sitting next to Christy, who is inbetween him and CJ. On the adjacent couch sits Alicia and Molly. On the television screen plays some old video tape, NCW "Til Death Does Its Part 2K1".
Alicia: Say, I remember this match. The ten man tag main event with all titles on the line.
Dorito: I remember this, NCW vs DY, and Matt and I were the last two surviving for DY and we won all the titles.
Molly: I remember this show, I think me and some other girls went to go hang out with some guys who ordered the pay-per view. How long ago was this?
Alicia: Ummm, three and a half years?
Dorito: It's been that long? Sure doesn't feel like it. I haven't tagged with Matt in like two years, and now have to face this new duo of Saint and Shane?
Christy: This will be so cool to see you and Matt together, live. The world champ, and the Iron champ. And we get to be ringside for this, whooo!
Dorito: And of the two times I've faced Dan Saint, both in tag matches, I've come out the victor. Although I never tagged with Matt for either of those two matches.
Molly: Talking about have an edge on a match. You and Matt tagging, Radical BreakDown reuniting, to take on Dan Saint and Insane Shane, two guys who have respect for each other.
Christy: Not to mention having never lost to Dan Saint.
Alicia: But he's never faced Insane Shane.
Molly: True, Alic', but Matthews did and he beat him, and Dorito beat him, quite cheaply might I add.
Dorito: A win's a win. And talk about the bitching from management about the match, especially when Matthews took the ref's toupee off. You know that guy threatened to sue us and the whole company before Hitman stepped in? Over an accident. Well, I guess the guy's genetics being inherited from his bald parents doesn't really make it our fault anyways, he's the one who brought the foreign object into the ring.
CJ: Foreign object? A wig?
Dorito: Sure. It's not his, it didn't grow from his body. Because otherwise he wouldn't be wearing a wig. And he's the crazy nut obsessing over his image, so he puts on a false projection of himself to those around.
Molly: So you're saying that he's lyin' about who he is without saying a word to convince those around him that he's not who he really is?
Dorito: Sure.
Alicia: But how was the ref supposed to know that Chris was going to rip it off his head?
Molly: It's not like he did it on purpose or anything. That little softgut was apologizing like crazy after the match to that jerk. And how am I supposed to get this Hardcore Kid to act macho and stuff in movies when he can't even stand up to his friends? Like that Nail guy, he's a douche, a con, a dip, a stooge, the best thing he could ever amount to is a puppet. The poor guy lives in Florida, surrounded by old people, and we should gt him to move out here.
Dorito: Yeah, that's great, all I need is some new neighbor to come over all the time and never leave.
Alicia: You seen they sold the house next door?
Molly: No way! I was looking at that.
Christy: And what were you going to buy it with? The money we make from WWFW? We're not wrestling or anything, so it's chicken scratch. Should just be happy they pay for our airfare.
Molly: Look, once my new business starts pumping DVDs into shelves, people will be buying them off of those shelves, and that cash goes right to me.
CJ: But remember the hundred thousand dollar loan I gave to you so you could pay for this business adventure? Sure Matthews has a great look for your little porn business, and what a studly piece of meat he is, but you're gonna have to do some advertising, get onto Howard Stern. I know some people who know some people who do some people who've worked for him. So I think I can help you with that.
Christy: But so they sold the house?
Alicia: Yep.
Christy: I wonder what the new peeps moving in are like.
Alicia: Dunno, never met the old people living there.
Dorito: Meh, who cares.
Molly: I got a killer idea. What if we bake them a pie and go over there or something?
Christy: Kewl. Ummm, what kind of pie?
Molly: I like cherry.
CJ: Key-lime.
Alicia: Banana cream.
Christy: Blueberry.
Dorito: How about orange?
Molly: Orange pie? That just sounds...blah.
Alicia: What if we make one of each?
CJ: That could work, Alic'. But I don't know how to make pie.
Alicia: Neither do I.
Christy: I don't know how.
Dorito: Don't look at me. If anyone knows anything about pie, it'd be Molly, since she knows more about it than anyone else here.
Molly: What the fuck are you implying?
Christy: Haha.
Dorito: You know what I'm talking about.
Molly: Don't laugh Christy, it just encourages him.
Dorito: Well maybe if you invited me into one of your movies to take part in, use a real ironman instead of Chris. Like your 60 Hour Ironman movie. Who is going to pay $50 for a porno?
Molly: Millions, that's who.
CJ: Whose the girl on the apron with you D?
Looking at the TV set, we see Ana standing on the ring apron, talking to Dorito, while DarkWynd stands in the ring looking at them and marches across the ring and grabs her by the hair, and Dorito begins his attack on him.
Alicia: That's Ana, she was a model or something I think. Remember your whole feud with Bizkit over her?
Dorito: Oh yeah, sure brings back memories there. I remember we were gonna do this whole feud and get his kids to side with me and Ana, and they would call me father, and just kill Bizkit. But it just didn't get that far, at least I don't remember if it did.
Alicia: I wonder what they're both up to these days now.
Christy: I heard that Scott Moore guy mention some guy named Bizkit, the same guy?
Alicia: Yeah, the kid has a ton of talent, he's just still green, but has been taken care of.
Molly: I should see if he wants to make some quick cash.
Dorito: You pick him over me?
Christy: But he's such a wholesome nice young man!
Molly: So.
Christy: But he's got a sweet girlfriend!
Molly: So?
Christy: So! You're going to corrupt him a month into the biz. And that's just evil!
Molly: No, it's business. Besides, I'll offer her a part in the movie. I don't think he'd mind an extra five hundred bucks. And if she's got the goods to provide, the two of them together could make a cool two grand from one movie.
CJ: Fifteen hundred bucks is a lot of money for a first timer, if she is. Could probably stiff her and give them five hundred bucks each.
Molly: But then you run a first timer story and of course she'll probably come off scared and such, so it'll seem so much realer on video because it is real, so it'd sell more I think.
CJ: Whatever, just make sure it works so I get that money back.
Christy: So are we gonna do anything about pies for the neighbors?
Dorito: Screw the neighbors. You start socializing with them, and then next thing you know they'll be over here all the time and it'll just be really annoying. I hate neighbors. I didn't grow up with neighbors, really. The house was just big enough on a huge lot and everything, so neighbors houses were like fifty feet away on each side, and that's the way we liked it!
Christy: Well this is LA, not Germany or whatever country you're from.
Dorito: I still say screw the neighbors. Besides, none of us know how to make pies, so who cares? Hey, check this out, this is the part where I eliminate Dan Saint.
Focusing on the television set, where Dorito slumps in the corner as Saint grabs him and lifts him onto the top turnbuckle, sitting him down to have the Triangle Breaker look out at the crowd. Dan grabs the ropes and begins pulling himself up the turnbuckles.
"Vinnie: Dan Saint setting Dorito up for one of his patented finishers, the dead ringer."
Saint stands on the top turnbuckle with an inverted facelock on Dorito. Dan stands Dorito up on the top turnbuckle, then falls back for the reverse ddt from the top rope, however Dorito moonsaults back. The dead ringer gets reversed with Dorito dropping Saint with it, and Dan's feet hang in the air with Dorito quick to grab them both as he lays over Dan's head and shoulders. The ref slides to the ground to make the count, 1...2...3. The bell rings once, signaling Saint's elimination to some jeers from the crowd.
Dorito: I wonder if Saint is going through any old footage to any of our matches. You know, I bet I could put him away again the same way monday.
Alicia: Whatever.
Dorito: Sure I could. I'll just set myself up like that on the turnbuckle, and he'll go right for the move, and I'll just counter it. Besides, I bet he's probably just sitting at home, taking care of his preggo wife, being her little bitch and all.
Christy: I wonder what it's like to have a kid. I wish I had a boyfriend.
Molly: I can get you a boyfriend, and you can make some easy cash at the same time.
Christy: I'm not going to be in one of your pornos. My dad would kill me if he ever found out.
CJ: I'm sure you could get about any guy you want. Just be yourself and you can pick up whoever you want. Girls are the dominant sex, no matter how much men tell themselves, and tell us, girls are.
Molly: GIRLS RULE! WHOOOO!!
Alicia: I know what we could do. It's friday night, so let's take them to a rave!
Dorito: What if they're old people?
Alicia: Who cares, old people rule. Imagine them on exxtasy? They'd be the hit of the party, and Special K triumphs once more.
Molly: Come on D, this could be fun.
Dorito: Bah, I think I'm just gonna go to the gym or something. Get some more work in for the pay-per view for next saturday.
Christy: The gym again? You were just there a few hours ago!
Dorito: So? I'll do whatever I please. Besides, I went through all my old tag team records, and I haven't lost a tag team match in 3 years. And even then, it was a countout in a ten man match with Matt on the opposing team, and Saint was on mine. Although of the losses Matt and I have had together, he lost the majority of them, most of the time because he lost his temper. And he's never pinned me one on one, ever.
Alicia: Well neither have you.
Dorito: So. Maybe I should just shut him up about the world title and beat him for it. Then I'll prove to him the Ironman is the true best there is. The Ironman title is the new show in wrestling, and is hotter than one of a hundred other world titles. I'm not worried about Dan or Shane, Matt and I will handle them. Next saturday though, it's anger built up for nearly two months that I get to unleash all at once on Brett Adams. That little piece of crap, I feel like just beating the hell out of him, then break his jaw or something so he can't talk. So I never have to hear him squeal again about being a franchise or whatever. And he'll give up and go work for some franchise, McDonalds is always hiring.
Christy: I'm sure he's got some strategy going into the match with you.
Dorito: Yeah, get his ass beaten, and his jaw broken, and wired shut. And he knows this, man. And I've got to work Sean Harrison again, and this will be a tough match. I've yet to be pinned in my tenure in World Wide, and my only loss was in that triple threat with Sean and Brett, and Brett was the one pinned. After I gave him a BreakWave. My move put Brett down and Sean knocked me down so I couldn't get the fall. That was my win, my match, my victory, and he took it.
Alicia: Not to mention he won the triangle match.
Dorito: And no one beats me in triangle matches. No one. And I've got a strategy set for Sean, and he'll never be able to get out of it.
Alicia: Oh, well so girls, are we gonna do something to meet the neighbors?
Christy: We could always go buy a pie.
Alicia: Buy a pie! That's awesome! Baking's for losers. So we'll go out, buy a pie, come back, meet the neighbors, then take them out to a rave!
CJ: Sounds like a night.
Molly: Sure, nothing really to do now, sounds cool to me.
The four girls press out of the couch, standing up, and begin to walk away, going toward Alicia's room and the front door, as Dorito just kicks his feet up, stretching out to lay on the couch, putting his head on a pillow as he watches the television set, as Extremely Sonic and Donovan Dement are going at it. The scene seems to fizzle out, for now.
