The scene begins today with a wooden drawer being opened, and inside are some clothes. Some hands come into the view, with dark purple fingernails, gripping the sides of a pair of pants and lifting up to reveal a small box, about four inches cubed, with orange wrapping paper around it.

Voice: Oh yeah!

The pants get set aside as the hands grip the box by the sides and lift out of the drawer. The scene switches, seeing Alicia Helmsley standing in front of the open drawer, orange box in hands. She turns and walks toward the camera, and the picture swings around to follow behind her as she walks out the door and into the living room of their home, where Dorito is seen sitting on the couch against the wall, watching the television set, Scary Movie 3 play ing.

Alicia: Hey D, I got something for you.

She looks over at the TV.

Alicia: Say, what's that?

Dorito: That's Scary Movie 3.

Alicia: Oh, doesn't seem to be in good quality of picture.

Dorito: File download was only three-hundred megs, so of course it's going to be crappy when it's really compressed.

Alicia: You can't keep pirating. They're going to catch you sooner or later.

Dorito: So? I go back to jail, then get released again after a few months.

Alicia: Doubtful. Haven't you been reading that hackers are getting longer jail sentences than 98% percent of murderers and felons?

Dorito: Yeah, and huge charges for mp3s and anything copyrighted on your computer, blah blah blah. Just more fear propaganda to get people to give up and admit. Besides, whatever happened to the law that everyone has a right to privacy? Yet when the government is breaking it and allowing corporations like the RIAA and MPAA to break it and invade privacy, they're breaking their own laws. The government should be sent to federal penitentiary.

Alicia: Still, anyways, is it any good?

Dorito: Yeah, it does, better than the first two. And the next one should be good too, supposed to do more with superheroes, like DareDevil, Spiderman, Hulk, although they were more of mutants, the kind of mutants that people fear in the world of X-Men. So, what's in the box?

Alicia: Oh! Since I didn't get you anything for your birthday last month, this is a bit belated.

Dorito: Belated? It's been over a month since my birthday. But who cares, GIMME!!

She tosses the box to him, and he holds out his hands as the box flies through the air, and as soon as it touches his fingers, he pulls his arms back toward himself to slow the fall. He holds his hands up, looking at the box.

Dorito: What'd you do that for?! What if it was glass?

Alicia: I know what it is, and it's not glass.

He shrugs his head as he sets the box in his lap and tears at the wrapping, revealing a brown box with the top flaps folded in on each other. He grips two flaps and pulls up, opening it up and looking inside.

Dorito: Kleenexes? You got me tissue paper?

Alicia: It's under that! Duh!

Dorito: Oh.

Alicia: (mumbling to herself) Idiot.

He lifts the tissue paper off, throwing it to the side at the wall, and reaches into the box. He pulls out a thong and holds it up, a side of it cut.

Alicia: It's Marie Dupree's; took it right off of her and hasn't been washed.

Dorito: Wow! Cool! Wait, I thought she didn't wear thongs.

Alicia: I kicked the crap out of that little whore, knocked her down, and cut it right off of her, so of course it's hers.

Dorito: No, must've been a lookalike or something, cause she doesn't wear those. But then I wonder, would that mean she wears granny panties?

Alicia: Hehe, probably!

Dorito: I don't mind nudity, I don't mind thongs, I don't mind lingerie, I don't mind plain underwear, even with a skidmark or two, but granny panties? Now that is simply unattractive.

Alicia: Oh - my - God! A woman that is unattractive to you is one that wears granny panties?

Dorito: Yeah. Doesn't even matter if it was a topless Kristi Myst, granny panties suck. And I don't like obesily fat chicks or she-males or old women.

Alicia: Okay, so as long as she is a she, and is not packin' four hundred pounds, and isn't living in a retirement home, then she's fair game for you?

Dorito: Well, she's got to be at least fourteen, maybe thirteen years old. I'm not the kinda sweet guy that's just gonna hang around playgrounds all day, sitting in a car as I look through closed tinted windows.

Alicia: Almost sounds like you've thought about it.

Dorito: No I...

Alicia: Oh sure you have you sick underage pre-teen almost a toddler molesting freak!

Dorito: Okay, so I came across that Russian pre-teen lolita website by accident, alright? Is that a big deal?

Alicia: It's a crime in this country I guess.

Dorito: Yeah, what isn't? But still, when I went to close it, I got a bunch of exit popups that just kept popping like popcorn kernels in a microwave bag in a microwave set to popcorn.

Alicia: Ooo-kay that sounded a little over-doing the popping.

Dorito: Still, I pushed the popping and with nowadays where people can't keept their attention on anything for more than three seconds, and to repeat something three times in that span, they get annoyed.

Alicia: Anyone c...

Suddenly the doorbell rings, and they both pause, for several seconds in pure silence. It rings again, and Alicia turns to look at the front door of the house and walks toward it, going down the step and puts her hand on the handle and twists, pulling the door open. There stands a woman, big smile on her face, as she forces her way into the house.

Woman: Hi Alic'! Thank you so much for letting us stay with you.

Alicia: It's no problem Christy, no problem at all. Where's Molly by the way?

Christy: Getting out of the car.

Alicia peeks her head out the door as Molly is getting out of the car.

Molly waves at Alicia, who looks over at Christy, who gives Alicia a big hug.

Christy: The past few days have been the absolute worst of my life. I mean, first we get told to evacuate our homes, so we're like living in these horrid three-star hotels and so we've been out clubbing trying to pick up rich guys just so we could have a decent bed to sleep in. Then we're watching the news this morning and see that our house burned down in the fires and everything's gone.

Molly walks into the house, and she gives Alicia a big warm hug, then a kiss on the cheek.

Molly: Thank you so much for letting us stay with you Alicia! I love you!

Alicia: It's no problem at all. Once I heard about all the fires around San Diego, I got kinda worried and have been trying to call your house but the phone was out of order so I simply feared the worst.

Christy: We haven't heard anything out of Ted either, so we don't know what we're doing about the friday Halloween show for San Diego Championship Wrestling.

Molly: Yeah. He could be dead for all we know. And I never got my paycheck from the last show yet so he better not be dead.

Alicia: Don't worry about it. You can stay here for as long as you need to.

Molly: Alicia, you're not going to regret this. Tonight I'm gonna give you the best oral sex you've ever had in your entire life. So many big O's that you'll be saying "Oh! Oh! OH!!", and each time is another big O.

Alicia: Oh you don't need to do that, hehe, just make yourselves at home.

Alicia extends her hand, pointing up to the living room, and they all take the step up to look at Dorito sitting up on the couch, looking over at them.

Christy: Oooh, did we walk in on something?

Molly: Alicia was gonna get some!

Alicia: That's my brother.

Molly: Hun, that's sick.

Christy: Say, where are we going to be sleeping anyways Alic'?

Dorito: There's room for someone in my bed. Perhaps both of you.

Molly: So you wanna be my bitch eh? Well then, you do what I want, when I want, and if you don't do it right, I'll spank you. And if you do it how I want it, I'll spank you even harder.

Alicia: I see the sexaholics anonymous isn't working.

Christy: Yeah, not since she managed to talk the group into becoming one big orgy. And then she got kicked out.

Molly: Yeah, then I went to every anonymous club after that, from alcoholics to drugs to rage management, and turned it into a big orgy. Those are always so much fun, I've never been so high in my life since when I went to the last druggy meeting.

Alicia: I thought you were through with drugs when you got out of doing porn.

Dorito: You were in porn?

Molly: Yeah, I was. And I missed the sex.

Alicia: So how long did you last since getting out of it before doing it again?

Molly: Three and a half hours. So long! But seriously, sex is the greatest stress relief in the world, and there is no workout that can compare to it, just in burning calories alone. That's why I don't even exercise anymore, sex does it all for me.

Dorito: Alicia, this is the greatest birthday present of my life.

Christy: Aww, it's your birthday? How old are you?

Alicia: It's not his birthday. It was last...

Dorito: 23.

Christy: So what are we going to do for Halloween?

Molly: I got it! Let's go to some party as nudists! Yeah!

Alicia: I can't. I've got a show in Poughkeepsie for 3WL. Huge tag team match with Dusti Rose against a couple of former world champions.

Christy: I'm sure you're going to win. Who are you wrestling?

Alicia: Jordan Divine and Wanda Santiago.

Molly: Wanda Santiago as in, Wanda Santiago, the singer?

Alicia: That'd be her.

Christy: She's a really good singer.

Molly: Have you gone nuts Christy? She sucks! Pop music sucks! It's a complete ripoff of techno, with lyrics thrown in.

Christy: So you must be doing good then to be facing them in a tag team match, cause I've wrestled against Dusti in a tag match before and she's good.

Alicia: It's going to be a really hard match, and Jordan Divine is just dominating in the ring. But Dusti and I are both coming off of big wins, and I'm the new All Pacific champion.

Christy: That's really cool, and makes sense too cause you live on the west coast.

Alicia: Yeah. Well, you two make yourselves comfortable, I've got to run over to Dusti's for a little bit and talk with her about Clash, as far as what we can strategize upon, but I'll be back in a couple of hours, k?

Molly: See ya later honey.

Molly wraps her arms around Alicia, giving her a big hug. Christy then gives her one as well.

Christy: Well, I guess we'll walk you out to your car, then bring in our luggage.

Alicia: Alright.

Dorito jumps off the couch and hops over the coffee table to stand behind them as they look over at him.

Dorito: I can help you out with bringing in your stuff.

Alicia just looks at Dorito, and he pushes past them, looking both Molly and Christy in the eyes before going down the step and opening the door. He lets out a loud "WHOOOO!!!" as he jumps out the door.

Molly: The boy has got a lot of energy, and I like that!

Alicia and Christy just look at each other, then over at Molly who his smiling, as the scene fades out.