The scene begins today with a panoramic shot around the sunny Malibu beach.

Dorito suddenly comes into focus as he looks around the beach, his hair dry as it hangs around his sides with his silver morpheous sunglasses on and some silver and black flower boardshorts.

Dorito: My gosh I miss this place. The women, the waves, the babes, the surf, the itty bitty teeny weeky bikinis hugging these lovable bods of all the bodacious chickies.

Dorito's head turns as he stares at yet another hot woman walking past him.

Dorito: Wow, I think I have to wake up earlier more often so I can go to the beach. I love this place. So much better than being backstage with a bunch of bitchy busty women stressing out over their matches and how their hair and make-up is and perfume and all that crap. While here, like online, no one cares if you stare at them. Only difference is, is that here, they're right in front of you. And sometimes you get to touch them.

He peers off, seeing a gorgeous blonde in a small purple bikini walking his direction.

Dorito: Yow, definitely one of the cutest today. Please come my way.

She walks towards him, and he raises a hand and opens his mouth as if to speak, but freezes as she walks past.

He turns about to watch her leave, when Alicia seems to be standing there right in front of him, cutting off his view.

Alicia: Is all you're doing is oggling women? Come on and let's go over to Eddy's.

Dorito: But..but, but-but, but I...

Alicia: Yeah, I saw you looking at butt after butt after butt! Now before you spray your shorts or...

She grabs him by the wrist and begins walking along the beach with him as she continues to speak.

Alicia: ...drop them and shout something stupid like "who wants to ride Ol' Faithful", I'm saving your ass before you try to embarass me on the beach.

Dorito: Embarass you? Yeah, it's all 'bout you isn't it?

She lets go of him and they stop, Alicia turning around to face him.

Alicia: Yes, it IS all about me. When it comes to paying rent on the house, it's me who is paying it. When it comes to paying for the cable bill, it's me whose writing out the check. When it comes to paying the electricity and gas and water and all the other crap, it's my pocket it's coming out of. When we need food, it's me who is going to the supermarket and picking it out, and paying for it. And why do I have all this money?

Dorito: Be...

Alicia: Don't interrupt me you little leech. It's because I am the one working. I am the one flying around north american every weekend and performing for thousands of people on television. It's me who is busting my own ass and pushing myself to keep going and going. So it is all about me, you got it? Or do I have to draw you a few pictures to let you color in so you can figure this out for yourself?

Dorito: You know, you're totally stressed out. So why don't you wait here, I'll go find that babe that I saw rubbing her neck, and I'll work out all the kinks in some killer threeway.

Alicia: I'm your sister!!

A couple of people walking past seem to look over and Alicia looks over at them, glaring back as she slightly shakes her head from side to side before hanging it down and putting her hand up to hold her forehead. Dorito steps and puts his arm around her, turning her around to walk along the beach with her head resting on his shoulder.

Dorito: You see what I mean? Just go get screwed, really, I mean it. Find someone and just do it. Seems like you've got all this sexual frustration built up inside, since I haven't seen you with a guy in over two years, so you need a release. Because this, this growing sexual anger inside you is going to make you more violent and such and no one is going to want to wrestle you when you start hurting people in the ring, whether or not you are undefeated or not, doesn't matter. Just get the brains banged outta your head, that's all I'm asking for. Because honestly Alic', lately you've become this heinous bitch. Marie this, Marie that, Dusti and me there. So if you beat Marie friday, go out to a rave, pick up a guy or girl or two or both or more, and go back to your hotel or find a cab or an alley or something and just do it.

She stops, lifting her head up as Dorito stops a foot past and turns over to look at her, not holding onto him anymore.

Alicia: Dorito, I don't want to fuck EVERY PERSON I SEE!!

A lot of people around hush as they look over, a few parents covering the ears of some younger children, one group of like five or six guys that look to be in their teens pointing towards her, smiles on their faces. She looks about for several seconds, then directly at Dorito, smacking him on the chest.

Alicia: You see what you made me do? You're embarassing me and I don't want that.

Dorito: What? Suddenly you're worried about a reputation or something? Screw it. People talk, it's what they get off on, get over it.

Alicia: I just don't want them talking about me.

Dorito: Like how you go off about Marie Dupree and when she hangs around that Orlando Bloom guy and Jeff Hardy and all her other friends and they goof around like eight year olds? You want to scrutinize them all you can, but should it come to anyone saying anything about you, you get all defensive about it. So take my advice, call this the new barter system where you pay for all my things and I give you advice in exchange, and just go get gangbanged. I mean, when we get home, I can look up on the net for people around LA looking for just some hard rough sex.

His eyes suddenly look away as he turns his head.

Dorito: And look at the ass on her. The back, those legs, her hair. I want her to be the mother of my children. I'll see you monday.

Dorito walks past Alicia to follow after the woman, but she turns and grabs him by the hair and Dorito stops, yiping as he jumps back to grab her hands.

Dorito: Let go of me! Hey you! Come back!

The blonde keeps on walking as Alicia begins walking on the beach again, in the opposite direction of her. He turns around and walks hunched over as Alicia hangs onto his hair while they walk along the beachfront. A small wooden shack is seen with "Sharky's Surf Shop" written on the side in a faded blue color with large letters.

Alicia: Forget about her D, we're almost there.

A couple of people are walking away from the almost-concession stand looking place as a long black and gray curly haired guy stands inside with a scruffy beard and no shirt on a really tanned standard body. He watches as the people walk away.

Alicia: EDDY!

He then shifts his direction over at Alicia and Dorito, with Alicia throwing her hands up as she runs over to the stand. His jaw drops as he throws his hands up and waits a couple of seconds before she stands before him and give each other a big, warm hug. Dorito wanders up, kinda looking down, yet also kind of looking at Eddy. Alicia parts from Eddy, a huge smile on her face, as she looks up at him.

Eddy: Oh my gosh! I haven't seen either of you in who knows how long. And you're still the hottest woman walking the California beach.

Alicia: No I'm not.

Eddy: Yeah, you really are.

Alicia: (smiling) No, cause right now I'm just standing.

Eddy chuckles a big, loud, adorable chuckle.

Eddy: Ahhahaha!! That's a good one. Okay, you're the hottest woman standing on the beach. There we go, hehe.

Alicia: Ah, you're the sweetest Eddy. So how's business been?

Eddy: Well, I'm still in it. There's been ups and downs, but today has been a good day, and now it's a great day since you're here. But how have you been? I heard you've actually began wrestling yourself.

Alicia: Yeah, and it's been great. I'm in 3WL, World Womens' Wrestling League, and it's been a sheer blast. I won the cruiserweight title in my first singles match, and last week me and my friend Dusti Rose won our tag team match in the first round of the tag league tournament.

Eddy: Dusti Rose, Dusti Rose...yeah, I've heard of her. I remember seeing her at an indy show in Oakland a year ago, she's got some skill. Can't wait to see where she's at ten years from now.

Alicia: And right now I'm in this feud with Marie Dupree, Jeff Hardy's girlfriend.

Eddy: One of my customers is a big wrestling fan and one slow afternoon we just watched a wrestling tape in here, a shoot interview with Jeff Hardy from that RF Video wrestling tape company on the east coast. And wow, Jeff was really light-hearted and stupid. I know people make jokes out of blondes, but he was like actually really like that. Like they asked him a question about Perry Saturn and Jeff was asking where he was at, as if Perry was in the room, then he tried yelling at Perry about something in the past, as if Saturn was in the bathroom or something. The guy was froot loops. I've never met Jeff in my life, and from watching that video, I know that Jeff is a really nice guy, but his brain is fried. Should've spent more time in school. But anyways, go on dear.

Alicia: Well, I've been feuding with Marie for a few weeks now, and she follows the whole Xtreme ordeal, with the 'X', and it's just dumb. That stuff is 4 years old now and still going on. At least Matt Hardy had the ability to drop it instead of going back to the well.

Eddy: Yeah, Matt changed while Jeff will be the same and never grow out of the gimmick, like Sean Waltman.

Alicia: So I've been raving and partying and such. And we know their Xtreme is actually a small fraction of what rave is.

Eddy: Yeah, and you kids have really taken it so much farther than what it was five or ten years ago. Don't you ever fear that you'll get too drunk and wake up with some strange guy in a bed where you don't know where you are?

Dorito: I've been telling her to do that all day! And she won't ever listen.

Alicia: It's really no worry Eddy, I try not to drink much at all and just flow as everyone is in trance.

Eddy: Well just make sure you keep careful, and at least carry a condom around with you, just incase, so there is a chance that maybe you'll have a brainspark and remember to put it in. No harm with at least having some caution. You don't want to end up pregnant with a stranger's baby.

Alicia: Yeah, you don't have to tell me.

Dorito suddenly peers over his shoulder, as this woman stands just behind him, so he turns around along with Alicia.

Woman: Ha-lo! My name is Nena, und I vee wand'ing ver da ass-een is.

Dorito: It's uh, right over there.

Pointing to her left, she looks over and laughs, then looks back at him.

Nena: Danke! I hab trub in dis cunt-ry. Bye-bye!

She begins to wave and takes a step when Dorito steps with her, raising his hand.

Dorito: Wait.

She stops and looks over at him, smiling.

Nena: Ja?

Dorito: Umm, have you ever been face to face with a dick before?

Nena: Oooh, a dick? Ja! Ja! How't you know mein vater's nom vas Richard?

Dorito sports an eyebrow for a second, seeming to think about this.

Dorito: Oh, umm, I feel like I've known you my whole life. Want to get out of these clothes and go have sex?

Nena: JA!! Sounda goot. I hate-ta laws 'bout verin' clothes. Und I vanna get drilled. I nena wood. Lez'go boy-toy, hehe!

Dorito's jaw drops as she grabs him by the hand and begins running along the beachfront, dragging him behind. Alicia and Eddy stand there, looking on with their jaws hanging.