The scene begins today with Alicia Helmsley sitting on the couch in her home, her back to the dining room, as Dorito stands before her.

Dorito: The objective is the All Pacific championship. Your target is one Marie Dupree. You will strike friday night, when the opportunity arises. You know her style, you know her friends, you know her strengths, and her weaknesses. Target all of them, and strike with force. Hit her quick, hit her hard, take her out. If you immobilize her from the get-go, she will never be able to come back and it puts other champions on a watch as you dispose of their so-called most decorated champion ever. No questions? Good, let's march.

Alicia: Wait, I know about all of these objectives.

Dorito: You know of them for you will not have help.

Alicia: Fine with me.

Dorito: No, you're not hearing me, you CANNOT have help. Alright?

Alicia: Yeah, that's fi...

Dorito: Fine! I'll tell you why you won't have any help! Because me and Dusti are going to be in the back celebrating her victory over Star by having some rough animalistic sex. Ya know, the kind where people hear it and call animal control to come out and handle the situation.

Alicia: Are you sure about that?

Dorito: Yes. Alicia, I wanted Dusti to be here when I told you this, but she's busy so here goes. Alic, Dusti and I have secretly been having sex for months now.

Alicia: What?

Dorito: Yes, it's true. All true, no matter what she tells you. She's just trying to keep it a big secret, but we've even had sex at work. And trust me, you've got to try having sex in a walk-in freezer just once in your life, it is a definite must to put on your list of things to do.

Alicia: Okay, that's nice, I don't believe it, but I don't want to go to that restaurant again, not like I ever wanted to before because nothing there is healthy.

Dorito: Now, you can't talk to Dusti about this, else she'd kill me. Although she'd probably turn that into lust and we'd go at it again. Oooh yeah, I guess you can call me the Pleasurenator. Cause anytime another triangle crosses into my triangle zone, everything turns super hot.

Alicia: Yeah, sure, okay, I won't talk to Dusti about it, promise!

Dorito: Thanks.

Alicia: Just a few days away before having to go to Providence, Rhode Island and wrestle for the All Pacific championship. And right there, in the smallest state of the union, will be the biggest match of the show, when I strip Marie of her title. When I strip her of her pride, her integrity, her clothes...there will be nothing left.

Dorito: You're gonna strip her of her clothes? Woah! I am so going with to the show. This is going to no doubt be the best Clash in history.

Alicia: Still, this is only my second singles match here in 3WL, and it is the second time that I am up for a title match.

Dorito turns to his right, and shuffles over and drops down onto the couch against the wall.

Dorito: So what are you going to do today?

Alicia: I'm hitting the beach with Dusti and going surfing.

Dorito: That doesn't sound too bad actually. Could drop in and say hello to Eddy.

Alicia: Yeah, we could if we go up to Malibu.

Dorito: You can't be considering going here in LA.

Alicia: I know better than that. And Malibu is only an hour away.

Dorito: Good, I'm going too then. I can catch up with Eddy then.

Alicia: As I remember it, Eddy doesn't like you at all.

Dorito: Ohhh yeah, but it's been almost two years now, he should be over it.

Alicia: Don't you like not have a board anymore?

Dorito: Ummm, oh yeah, I don't. So then since we're stopping to see Eddy, I could just rent a board from him. Alicia: Guess you could do that.

Dorito: I wonder how much your pay is going to be after friday.

Alicia: I'm not really the least bit curious. It's been more and more each passing week, aside from the pay-per view pay which was the highest.

Dorito: You know, I was looking at the title history in 3WL, and it seems like the last time the cruiserweight title was successfully defended was when Sarah Stiles had it. But the All Pacific title, in the almost full year of it's existence, only three people have held it, so that seems to be the title with the most prestige.

Alicia: And it's Marie Dupree who has brought that prestige to the title. It is because of her. But if she brings prestige, then my question is, what do I bring? She's this supposed 'X'treme chick, but we both know what extreme is. And 'X'treme is just a ration of what rave is.

Dorto: That's good, you gotta use that. So when are we leaving for Malibu?

Alicia: Oh I guess we could go get ready now.

Dorito: And I know you're going to win friday, because you could use the extra money.

Alicia: Oh? Why is that?

Dorito: Oh, cause I borrowed one of your credit cards.

Alicia: You didn't!

Dorito: Yeah. And I was wandering around at a Walmart when I came across these foot tall ninja turtle action figures, and well, bought them all.

Alicia: YOU WHAT?!!

Dorito: Yeah. But come on sis, you're not seeing the bigger picture. I don't even find these figures online, so they've got to be sold out or something or in high demand or something. Or they're very rare. So I figure that like twenty years from now, they'll be worth a lot of money.

Alicia: Twenty years?! This has to be some sort of joke. You're joking right? Like you were joking about Dusti.

Dorito: I wasn't joking about Dusti, and I'm not joking now. They're all upstairs in my room. Placed in the shadows so that the light does not fade the color over time.

Alicia: How much did you charge for it all?

Dorito: Oh, that's not really important. What is important is...

Alicia: How much was it, Dorito?

Dorito: The charge isn't the point. The point is that if we ever get into a jam, we could sell one of these babies and be rich. Boo-yah!

Alicia: How-much?

Dorito: Eight hundred bucks.

Alicia: You're paying for all of that, you know?

Dorito: I don't have eight hundred bucks, and I know that credit cards are not good to have laying around.

Alicia: No, you're working fulltime at your job until you pay these off, making all the payments from your own money, or you can start wrestling again somewhere, anywhere.

Dorito: Think I can get a job wrestling for 3WL?

Alicia: What? Have you gone mad? First you want to go out into the sun and surf, then you buy a bunch of stupid dolls, and then...

Dorito: Action figures, not dolls.

Alicia: I don't give a damn! But now you want to join a womens' wrestling promotion? You're not even a woman!

Dorito: But I've been a former womens champion, remember? Was about two years ago that I won it, on my birthday.

Alicia: Fine, I don't care. Go ahead and send in a resume, I doubt you'll get hired.

Dorito: You're totally negative and stressed out, babe. You definitely need to go to the beach today and just relax, maybe get laid.

Alicia: That was the point of going surfing today. Not to get laid, but to relax, while getting in some sort of a workout and exercise. But I'm gonna go get ready.

She stands up off the couch and walks around it, heading toward her room. The scene fades out shortly thereafter.