The Wit and Wisdom of the Realms


collected by: Dan Baicy



"Curious happenstance abound and all burning hell breaks loose."

Cyric, Shadowdale



- "Portions of your anatomy will be flaming if you do not cease this instant!"

Midnight, Shadowdale

- Finally she looked back and said to Kelemvor, "May I kill this man?"
Midnight, Shadowdale
- "I sent Adon back to convert Cyric to the ways of Sune."
Kelemvor, Shadowdale
- "Being a woman!?" Midnight said biting back the spell that would turn the pompous ass into a species more suitable for his attitude.
Midnight, Shadowdale
- Cyric was prepared to assault the Twisted Tower. He was armed with a pair of daggers, a hand ax, several lengths of rope, a small black cylinder, and the skills of the Thieves’ Guild in Zhentil Keep.
Cyric, Tantras
- "Ah, of course!" Kelemvor snapped. "It will be better if we try to escape. Then they can have the pleasure of hunting us down again before they kill all three of us!"
Kelemvor, Tantras
- "Can you describe Elminster’s mood at the time." Storm asked. The priest swallowed, " He was a bit cranky but he was Elminster after all."
Rhaymon, priest of Lathander, Tantras
- "A word great sage?" Hawksgaurd said. "Is it one that comes immediately to mind or shall I guess it?" Elminster muttered.
Shadowdale
- Of course, Elminster had not survived more than five hundred winters in the Realms by being either a fool or a madman, though many claimed he was both.
Shadowdale
- "I just hope one of those oaks knocks Bane’s avatar on the skull," Elminster said. Then he threw the spell and headed back to his work.
Elminster, Shadowdale
- "She must have some of Mystra’s power in that little trinket. I must have it for my final assault on Helm and Ao."
Bane, Shadowdale
- Midnight gasped unable to believe the avatar still lived. "What does it take to kill you?" Adon cried.
Waterdeep
- "Mad?... perhaps. But with this, I wounded Bhaal. Imagine I injured a god!"
Cyric, Waterdeep
- "At least I killed a god before I died," Cyric said triumphantly.
Cyric, Waterdeep
- Could the pain of tooth or talon be greater than that of the emptiness and the silence? I think not.
Drizzt Do’Urden, Exile
- The hunter was faster. He kept behind the maw, out of death’s way. His second scimitar found the basilisk’s other eye, then the hunter unleashed his fury.
Drizzt Do’Urden, Exile
- Joy multiplies when it is shared among friends, but grief diminishes with every division. That is life.
Drizzt Do’Urden, Exile
- "A strange an unpredictable race are the humans, and better to be left alone."
Belwar, Exile
- "A strange lot are wizards. Human wizards even more than any others, so I’ve heard tell. Drow wizards practice for power. Svirfneblin practice to better know the stone. But human wizards,- Magga Cammara, dark elf, human wizards are a different lot altogether."
Belwar, Exile
- Spirit. In every language in all the Realms, surface and Underdark, in every time and place, the word has a ring of strength and determination. It is the hero’s strength, the mother’s resilience and the poor man’s armor. It cannot be broken and it cannot be taken away.
Drizzt Do’Urden, Exile
- The gods of the Realms are many and varied--or they are the many and varied names and identities tagged onto the same being. I know not--and care not--which
Drizzt, Sojourn
- "To follow a god is folly. I shall follow my heart instead."
Drizzt, Sojourn
- Of all the races in the Realms, none is more confusing, or more confused the humans.
Drizzt, Sojourn
- "The four of us then," proclaimed Wulfgar. " One from each of the four common races. Bruenor for the dwarves, Regis for the halflings, Drizzt for the elves, and myself for the humans. A fitting troupe!" It was indeed going to be an interesting adventure.
Wulfgar, Crystal Shard
- "You’re crazy dwarf!" Regis retorted. "That’s right Rumblebelly!" Bruenor cried wildly, "Crazy I am! An’ never cross one what’s crazier than yerself."
Crystal Shard
- Regis had often contemplated stealing that beautiful weapon, but even he had a limit to his foolhardiness. The dagger belonged to Artemis Entereri: Pasha Pook’s prime assassin.
Crystal Shard
- "I must defeat you, scar of vileness," he declared, "and send you back to the swirling clouds of the bottomless Abyss. There is no place in the sunlit world for one of your kind."
Drizzt, Crystal Shard
- "There are only three of them," said Drizzt, his voice holding a fragile edge of calm that threatened to explode at any moment. "We need no surprise."
Drizzt, Crystal Shard
- "What do you mean to do when you find the lair?" Wulfgar asked. "Meet me back at this spot in the morning. I assure you I shan’t begin the fun without you!"
Drizzt, Crystal Shard
- "Crazy elf," he said under his breath. "Probably’ll take on the whole lot of ‘em by himself!" He looked around curiously again at the dead giants. "And Win!"
Bruenor Battlehammer, Crystal Shard
- "The boy felled two." Drizzt replied. -- A hint of a rare smile found it’s way onto Bruenor’s face. " Two to yer one, eh? Yer slippin’ elf."
Bruenor, Crystal Shard
- "Come," the drow repeated, beckoning with one hand. "There are only six giants."
Drizzt, Crystal Shard
- "Allow me to begin again," Drizzt said. "Greetings, Akar Kessell." He bowed low. "I am Drizzt Do’Urden, ranger of Gwaeron Windstrom, guardian of Icewind Dale. I have come to kill you."
Drizzt, Crystal Shard
"Good day for sleeping," he stated as he slammed his forehead into the mage thrusting LaValle into blackness.
Bruenor, Halfling’s Gem
- "Me girl’s right," spouted Bruenor. "The days walk by us while we sit and heal! Another week, and we might be missing a war!" "I’m ready to go," declared Wulfgar. Halflings Gem - "I am Mistinarperadnacles Hai Draco. You may call me Mist. And I’ll call you... supper?" replied the dragon.
Mist, Azure Bonds
- "Alias hesitated before she stepped off Mist’s snout. Winking at the halfling she said, "That ring of fire resistance makes you alot braver than usual, bard." "What? Oh, yeah. The ring of fire resistance. You think I’d have risked singing to a dragon without one."
Olive Ruskettle, Azure Bonds
- "Can’t one of you blasted spellcasters do something?" Trooper snapped. "I’ve already had my bath this year!"
Trooper, Pool of Twilight
- "We’ve come to look for someone in the mountains," Kern explained. "She’s a friend," he added. "I should hope so if you’ve come all this way to look for her." Trooper replied.
Trooper, Pool of Twilight
- The old man’s eyebrows bristled like gigantic snowy caterpillars. "Fighting that rock-brained ogre was the most fun I’d had in months." He tapped a bony finger against Kern’s breastplate. "And then you had to come along and spoil it all."
Trooper, Pool of Twilight
- Trooper snorted slapping his knee. "Is that so? Well, Tyr better not raise these old bones once they’re settled, that’s all I can say! I’ll look him flat in the eye and tell him to go bother someone else’s skeleton."
Trooper, Pool of Twilight
- His chest was so sore he felt as if he had been hugged by an over-friendly owlbear.
Kern, Pool of Twilight
- He gripped the holy symbol hanging from a chain about his neck. "Begone, spirit of evil!" he cried out. The ghost giggled. Somehow that was not the reaction he had expected.
Kern, Pool of Twilight
- Andehar was the latest in Phlan’s irksomely endless supply of champions. Heroes seem to breed like lice in that wretched city.
Pool of Twilight
- "The Sage of Shadowdale. He has seen some five hundred winters, and he is one of the most powerful mages in Faerun. Mind your manners to his face, Narm, if you would see the next morning as a man and not a toad or worse."
Illistyl Elventree, Spellfire
- "This Elminster-is he in need of an apprentice?" Illistyl chuckled. "He enjoys having a ‘prentice as much as coming down with a plague, as he has often put it. But you may ask."
Spellfire
- "A man who fights bone devils with a stick of wood, afraid to ask a question of Elminster? He’d be most flattered to hear of your trepidation."
Illistyl, Spellfire
- Illistyl nodded, winking at Mourngrym. "Adventurers and fools walk together, eh?" "Yes," Mourngrym agreed. Only Illistyl saw a sparkle glimmering in his eye. "But which is which?"
Spellfire
- "Philosophers think and do nothing. Adventurers rush to be killed without a thought. A single thought as to what they’re facing would no doubt have them fleeing just as quickly!"
Torm, Spellfire
- "Just the two of you," the ex-apprentice said, "and Rathan bellowing war cries. . . . and three breaths later you come back and tell me they’re dead." Torm nodded. "It’s what usually happens," he said, deadpan.
Spellfire
- "No, no," he said. "Mistake me not . . . How can you just ride forward like that, knowing you face six foes, and at least one a master of art?"
"The war cries and all? Well, if you’re risking death, why not have fun?" Torm replied. "If I wanted to risk death without
having fun, I’d be a tax collector, not a thief.
Spellfire
- "May Tymora smile upon thee, then," Rathan grunted. "With being such a fool and all ye’ll need the full favor of the Lady’s luck to see even this day out. Don’t forget how to run for thy very life, now. The devils are the one’s with wings." " Most of them," Torm agreed with a smile. "though they can be hard to see if blood is pouring into your eyes."
Spellfire
- On facing magic: Run, or pray, or throw stones
Guldoum Tchar, Sayings of a wise and fat merchant
- "Is it dangerous?" Narm asked, feeling his anger rise. "Your lives both bid to be filled with danger," Florin replied gently, "whether you kill this creature or not. Striving for something worthwhile and going to your graves is better than drifting in cowardice to you graves, is it not?"
Spellfire
- "Seventy cultists you said?" the cleric grunted. "And a dracolich. Let us not forget the dracolich," Merith added dryly.
Merith Strongbow, Spellfire
- "Elminster!" the ranger said in clam, pleased greeting. "I know, I know . . . ye’re all delighted to see me, or will be if ye ever manage to make a light to see anything by."
Elminster, Spellfire
- "Well met, indeed," Elminster said dryly, "O releaser of balhiirs. We may as well get to know each other before the dying starts,"
Elminster, Spellfire
- "Now lie there, damn ye. It is hard enough convincing the Lady that healing an unrepentent servant of Silvanus like thyself is a devout act, without ye squirming around."
Rathan, Spellfire
- "Are you finished, Torm?" Jhessail asked sweetly. "Or have you something else upon your tongue that needs spewing forth?"
Jhessail Silvertree, Spellfire
- The worst trouble with most mages is that they think they can change the world. The worst mistake the gods make is to let a few of them get away with it.
Nelve Harsaad, My Journeys Around the Sea of Fallen Stars
- "This is not a good time for us to fight a dragon," Narm said in helpless frustration. "Lad," Florin told him with rare humor, "it’s never a good time to fight a dragon."
Spellfire
- If discomfort and danger be always at hand, why then adventure? There is something in mankind that leads some always to such foolishness, and the rest of us benefit by the riches and knowledge and dreams they bring us. Why else tolerate such dangerous idiots?
Helsuntiir, Musings
-The bards soon forget a warrior falling without a great feat of arms. Would you be forgotten? Face each battle, each foe, as though it is you last. One day it will be.
Dathlance, An Old Warriors Way
-"I have never seen much difference between an orc and a dwarf." Elbereth spat "Oo," answered a wounded Pikel. "Ye view yer betters in a similar light, then," Ivan fought back.
In Sylvan Shadows
- The dwarven brothers held the high ground, but that still didn’t bring them close to eye level with gigantic bugbears, and they were outnumbered two to one. That hardly seemed to matter.
In Sylvan Shadows
- The surly dwarf grabbed Pikel by the arm. "Come, me brother!" Ivan yelled. "Let’s find a goblin head to cleave." Ivan Bouldershoulder,
In Sylvan Shadows
- Half the orog band of ten lay dead beside the giant, and not one of the monsters had gotten close to standing beside the dwarves. The brothers Bouldershoulder were truly enjoying themselves.
In Sylvan Shadows
- Ivan waded into the horde of goblins and orogs with typical dwarven finesse. The dwarf butted with his horned helmet, bit where he could, kicked with both feet, and generally whipped his axe to and fro with such ferocity that the entire band of monsters had to give ground steadily.
In Sylvan Shadows
- "In all the wide world there is nothing a goblin s, or fears, more than dwarves."
Danica, In Sylvan Shadows
- "Ye give me six hours, a dozen elves--including yer hurt wizard there--and move them trees where I tell ye, and I’ll hold this place for a hundred years, and a hundred more after that if ye need me to!" Ivan boasted, and, after the dwarf’s exploits in leading the charge up the hill not an elf in the camp doubted his words.
Ivan, In Sylvan Shadows
- Cadderly had read many tales of valor describing the ring of iron on iron, but he had never imagined the sound attributed to two dwarves sparring with frying pans.
Canticle
- The dwarves nodded. "Then I’ll go get me axe," Ivan declared, "and me brother’ll get his tree.
Ivan, Canticle
- Cadderly could not immediately find his breath to reply. he just sat and stared at the dwarven brothers. Both wore armor of interlocking rings, dusty from decades of idleness and rusted in several spots. Ivan wore a helm fashioned with deer antlers--an eight pointer--while Pikel wore a cooking pot!
Canticle
- Bricks and mortar flew wildly. Several fiery explosions indicated that warding glyphs had been placed on the other side of the wall, but Pikel’s furious charge was not slowed, by either the flimsy wall or the magical wards.
Canticle
- As he neared the stone floor, within the area of torchlight, he saw Pikel running about in circles, with Ivan close on his heels, smacking out the last wisps of smoke from his brother’s smoldering behind. "Hold still, ye stinking oak kisser!" Ivan bellowed, whacking wildly.
Canticle
- "The simple solution to ill tidings," Elminster informed the ceiling. "Have more to drink."
Cloak of Shadows
- "A fine useful pair the two of ye are! Puffing up here just a breath or six too late, as usual." Belkram and Itharr plunged to a halt, breathing hard, and exchanged an exasperated look. "That’s. . . our job," Itharr gasped. "Rushing in . . . we’re Harpers, remember?"
Cloak of Shadows
- "Gods seem to feel the need to impress."
Elminster, Cloak of Shadows
- "Be more worried about attacks when relieving thyself is of paramount importance, or when you’re hungry and downing weapons and wariness to eat."
"The monster who disturbs my meal," Belkram said darkly, "is liable to become my desert."
Cloak of Shadows
- "Why not take the battle to this mysterious castle hideaway of the Malaugrym? If we’re dead anyway, what’s to be lost? Why not take some of them with us?"
"Spoken like a true Harper," Belkram agreed.
"Spoken like a true idiot," Sharantyr retorted
"There is often great similarity, yes?" Sylune said.
Cloak of Shadows
- "Just behave as if you know what your about and have every right to be doing it, and most folk will accept you," Itharr said. "A fairly simple deception at heart, I suppose that’s why so many kings have managed it down the years."
Cloak of Shadows
- "Friends, be very careful."
Belkram sighed. "Everyone tells me that. . .aunts, mothers, tutors, passing merchants. . . even you and you and you. Doesn’t anyone want me to have any fun?"
"During your execution, or after?" Itharr inquired.
Cloak of Shadows
- "Heroes never do as they’re told," Belkram informed her proudly.
Shar looked at him. "Has it ever occurred to you," she asked dryly, "that such stone-headed habits might be why the term ‘dead’ usually goes in front of the title ‘hero’?"
Cloak of Shadows
- The lady Knight sighed. "Belt up," she said calmly, "and put that sword away. You might hit someone with it."
"Well, that is the general idea."
Belkram, Cloak of Shadows
It is the doom of men that they not know enough wisdom until it is too late
Elminster, Shadows of Doom
- "You sound like one of the younger priests. What mage doesn’t walk towards death where’er he goes?"
Kalassyn of Zhentil Keep, Shadows of Doom
- "Those are Zhents or I’m a Calishite." Belkram peered at him through the darkness.
"No," he said, "you haven’t turned into a Calishite, and I can’t say I’ve noticed you oiling your hide and perfuming your gold coins these last few summers." Itharr sighed theatrically.
"No? I try to be subtle."
Shadows of Doom
- "Mages who walk in darkness cloak themselves in it and think themselves strong--until the day it swallows them, and they come not out again."
Elminster, Shadows of Doom
- "Ever wonder why there are more evil mages than good ones?" he asked. "It’s because power like that makes it hideously easy to rule all about ye. Remember always, there is no such thing as a mage that is not dangerous."
Elminster, Shadows of Doom
- "Priests and mages both are deadly to ye, boy. Deadly to us all. Mind ye keep ‘em busy for they’re most apt to get into trouble and do ye ill with underhanded work when they’ve time to plot and scheme and skulk. Keep ‘em too busy to dig ye a grave."
a drunk Zhent warrior, Shadows of Doom
- Even the best blade can grow dull, if it has to lop of too many reaching fingers.
- "We’ll ask folk there if anyone’s seen Elminster of Shadowdale wandering about."
"Aye," Itharr grunted, reaching out of long habit for his blade. "And we’ll leap to our feet and try to carve a way out of the place, through seven or so handcounts of black-armored hireswords all howling for our blood."
Belkram shrugged. "Right, so we’ll buy some dawnfry first and ask questions later."
Shadows of Doom
- "If I’m to be fighting for my life," he said, hefting his blade experimentally, "I’d prefer to do it knowing that I’ve at least had one last good meal."
Itharr, Shadows of Doom
- "Let’s put on our best Harper smiles as we rush to certain death, hewing and slaying with the best of them." he chirped brightly and mockingly, and skipped down out of the rocky hollow where they’d slept, whistling a merry tune.
Belkram sighed. "Why is it always my lot to share trail the lunatics?" he asked the gods above as he followed. As usual, the gods did not bother to answer.
Shadows of Doom
- "Harpers rush in"--he quoted an odd saying Elminster of Shadowdale had uttered just last summer, but which was already well known across the North-- "where even fools fear to tread."
Itharr, Shadows of Doom
- The man showed his teeth. "Smart tongues and ragged clothes usually mean Harpers," he said, and turned to address the tables of armed men. "Take them!"
a Zhent soldier, Shadows of Doom
- "Some like to roll dice for coins, or trade goods, or even horses. Harpers and adventurers are the only folk who like to do it with their own lives."
an old dalesman, Shadows of Doom
- "I didn’t think just catching up with a hundreds-of-years-old wizard would be this exciting," Belkram replied, "Well, I’ve been wrong before."
Shadows of Doom
- "Worried? Now why should you be worried? Not so long ago, you were attacking this castle alone!"
"Alone? I had a horse," Elminster reminded her dryly.
Shadows of Doom
- "Friend," he called out, "which way is this great hall?"
After a startled moment, the first voice answered laconically, " ‘Twould be most foolish treason to tell you that it is through here, turn right, and behind the double doors at the end of the straight passage--so I won’t tell you that."
a Zhent soldier, Shadows of Doom
- "Consider this: We are warriors of Zhentil Keep. We know much of killing."
"You certainly know much of dying, after this day," Itharr told him, "if this is all of you there are left."
Shadows of Doom
- "Had enough, Old Mage?" she asked, challenging him.
"There’s no such thing as enough, lass," Elminster told her severely. "After ye’ve seen a few hundred winters, ye’ll know that. There’s no such thing as too much, either. Only too little time to enjoy it in." He winked again and added with apparent innocence, "That’s true for drinks, too."
Shadows of Doom
- The slim maiden shook her head. "Against gods, I cannot act. Against runaway mages, I must act."
Noumea (The Magister), Shadows of Doom
- There is something in us all that admires those who stand tall and bold in the bright light of day--even when they pay for this boldness with their lives.
Azlundar, One Warriors Life
- It’s usually around bath time that the tithe collectors come to call. Besieging warriors, on the other hand--now they generally have consideration enough to come early so you know how to best plan your day.
Estimyra of High Horn, Twenty Winters a War Wizard
- Time is the thief that knows no locks.
Faeranduil, Sayings of the North
- The Realms hold many a hard and stony place--and the worst of it is, some of them come well furnished with wizards.
- Raise not thy voice in anger, lest the sleeping dragon wake.
set down by Glarthyln, Shadows in the Firelight
- "One day," Elminster replied calmly, "ye’ll anger me overmuch, Lord High and Mighty--and I’ll make time to hunt down and blast into nothingness every last crawling clone of thine, thy every last hiding-hole--and wipe ye from the Realms entire; aye, and all the other worlds, too. So take care, Manshoon, ne’er grow too powerful or too persistent in angering me--or I’ll lose my temper, and it will be too late for thee."
Crown of Fire
- When death comes un-looked for, it finds a way into the strongest fortress. It does no good to set extra gaurds at the gate.
Asargrym, A Master Merchant’s Life
- There is no greater glory in the Realms than winning--or defending--a crown. Never forget that. . . . . . Even wizards can surprise ye.
Mirt the Moneylender, Wanderings with a Quill and a sword
- Life has no meaning save what we give it. I wish a few more of ye would give it a little.
Elminster, The Making of a Mage
- Dragons? Splendid things, lad--so long as you look upon them in tapestries, or in masks worn at revels, or from about three realms off. . . .
Astragarl Hornwood, said to an apprentice
- Thieves? Ah, such an ugly word. . . think of them instead as kings-in-training. Ye seem upset, even disputatious. Well, then, look upon them as the most honest sort of merchant.
Oglar the Thieflord, from the play Shards and Swords
- There is one sort of city that’s worse than one where thieves rule the night streets: the sort where thieves form the government, and rule the night and day.
Urkitbaeran, The Book of Black Tidings
- Did I ever tell thee how I first came to serve Mystra? No? You won’t believe a word of it naetheless. The way of the Lady seems strange to most men--but then, most men are sane. Well, more or less.
Sundral Morthyn, The Way of a Wizard
- Great adventure? Hah! Frantic fear scrabbling about in tombs or worse, spilling blood or trying to strike down things that can no longer bleed. If ye’re a mage, it lasts only until some other wizard hurls a spell faster than thee. Speak to me not of "great adventure."
Theldaun Ieirson, Teachings of an Angry Old Mage
- Choosing what road to walk in life is a luxary given to few in faerun. Perhaps lack of practice is why so many who do have that choice make such a gods-cursed mess of it.
Galgarr Thormspur, A Warrior’s View
(begining of 2nd ed. ::Not from TSR Novels, mine own creations::)
- "Ah, ye want to be an adventurer do ye lad? Aye, I’m sure ye’ve heard tales of magnificent riches and glory to be had. Have ye heard the tales of sleeping in the mud, days of riding, vicious monsters, road bandits, and gaping painful wounds. Of course, ye haven’t heard those! If everyone heard tell of those stories there’d be a hell of a lot less adventurers."
From: Words of a wise old adventurer
by: Lezardan of Cormyr
- "Ever look into the eye of a dragon? Nay, of course you haven’t. You’re still breathin’"
From: The lost art of Sarcasm
by: Finnedaerus the Mage
- Have you ever asked a halfling a question only to be answered with one? Welcome to the Question Game!
From: Understanding Halflings
by: Leslye Burrfoot
- There is a place worse than the Nine Hells. There is a more horrible place than staring down three beholders armed with only with a dagger. That place is called Luiren, land of the halflings
From: My many travels
by: Garan Farmapp, a Stalwart adventurer
- "Death comes for us all. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go down without kicking, biting, scratching, and fighting."
The words of Shelindra before she escaped from the gallows
- Does anyone know how to shut a halfling up without cutting out his tongue? No? I didn’t think so.
From: On the Races of Faerun
by: Derik Longarm
- I knew a man who once whispered ill tidings towards our Lord Manshoon. He’s dead now.
From: The journal of a Zhent soldier
by: Unknown author
- A cautious adventurer is a dead adventurer.
From: Treatise on Adventuring
by: Heladin Stoneforge
- I have lived many millennia and I have not seen anything more devastating than time.
From: Observations of a dead man
by: Zulkir Zass Tamm
- How do humans get anything done in such short lives? They are able to wage war, destroy everything, repair it, and multiply like rabbits. Such strange beings they are!
From: Musings of an Elven Prince
by: Gerard Depardew
- "You obey your king because he is your god!"
from: a speech said by: Gilgeam, god-king of Unther
- I met a young apprentice one year by the name of Danilo Thann at a party. He was very drunk and entertaining a gaggle of young ladies using his skills of magic. Unfortunately, the dandy cast one of his spells shortly after the gods were cast down from the heavens and magic was made unpredictable. Now, my head resembles that of a fiend from the lowest pit of Hell, complete with horns and razor sharp teeth.
From: Words of a Butler
by: Uther, chief butler of the Society of Stalwart Adventurers
- Magic: a dangerous and unpredictable force. Called Art by those who serve it. Called Power by there who try to bend it to their will.
From: On the Art
by: the Magister
- Ware Beshaba’s gaze--for it is horrible
Seek Tymora’s smile--for it is blissful
Avoid Cyric’s name---for it means death
From: Wise words of an Old swordswinger
by: Bergastion Dirkwood
- They call me a murderer because I kill people--Fine!--But why do they call paladin’s, who also kill people, heroes and holymen?
From: Journal
by: Laryn Zzallar, baroness of Teshwave
- Soldiers fight, thieves steal, bards sing, wizards cast, sages think, assassins kill. Good or Evil we all have a job. So tell me this. What the hell are nobles and merchants for?
From: Thoughts of an Old Sage
by: An Old Sage (anonymous)
- Silvanus must truly hate mankind. Why else would he create such nuisances as nymphs, pixies, sprites, brownies, and other woodland fairies?
From: Lost in Thought
by: Kayla Brightbow
- You can almost always tell how a dwarf or an elf might react. Hell, you can even tell with goblins. But, Talos’ teeth! With humans you can never tell what they might do!
From: Letters to Adbar
by: Blake Stonebrow, minister of Citadel Adbar
Wizards are a cowardly lot. Always hiding behind swords throwing there magics this way and that. But you just have to respect someone who could fry you where you stand.
From: Opinions of an Old Sword
by: Syth Blueblade
- I have heard the saying, "Seek and ye shall find." Whoever said that was a liar.
From: My hopeless Life
by: Shurin Stienil, self-admitted pick-pocket
- Saughin, Sea Trolls, Sharks, Giant Squid. All Umberlee’s children. No wonder they call her the Bitch Queen.
From: Lost in thought
by: Kayla Brightbow
- I am lost. Humans scorn me. They throw rocks at me and chase me away. Even my own fellows disdain me and attack me on sight. I am an outcast. I am lost.
From: An Outcasts Life
by: Grunwald Blackjaw, reformed hobgoblin
- I heard tell of one of my kind named Drizzt Do’Urden. He is why I came to this place known as the Surface. He is why I entered into a human settlement. He is why I will hang tomorrow.
The last scrawlings of Hcorgar La’rient
-Ever ask a halfling to watch over your stuff while you visit the privy? Was it there when you returned?
From: Anecdotes of an Aging Priest
by: Friar Kalien of Torm
(The Third Part ::more from the novels::)
-Father Pelletyr’s face collapsed like a souffle’ in an oven around which an ettin has just commenced a drunken clog dance.
From: War in Tethyr
-Someone had once described life as hours of boredom interspersed with moments of sheer
Zaranda Star
From: War in Tethyr
- "Desist from this magic hand-waving!" the officer rapped. "We know of you. Gesture more, and my men will pierce you like Waterhadvian cheese!"
a petty officer of Tethyr
From: War in Tethyr
- "Zaranda Star, I owe you a mighty apology."
"Is that so? Well, your grace, I have been expropriated, pursued, persecuted, kidnapped, tortured, slandered, and sentence to an agonizing death. With all due respect, you’ll have to do better than that."
-Caledan gave a rough snort of laughter. "Answering questions is difficult when one has a dagger in one’s back. It’s very distracting to one’s concentration. At least of I’ve heard."
Caledan Caldorien
From: Curse of the Shadowmage
- "Harpers!" someone shouted.
"You forgot to take your badge off again," Caledan said in annoyance, jabbing a finger at the silver moon-and-harp brooch pinned to Mari’s jacket. "Now they know who we are."
"Oh, bother," she replied with mock exasperation. " I suppose that means we’ll have to kill them all."
From: Curse of the Shadowmage
- "All right, who’s next?" she asked sweetly. "No pushing, please. I promise, each of you will be killed as promptly as possible."
Mari Al-maren
From: Curse of the Shadowmage
- The Red Wizards of Thay were always over-confident and thus easily tricked; the Zhentarim were simply stupid.
K’shar
From: Curse of the Shadowmage
- "Let me guess--the Shadowking did his own decorating, am I right? The gloomy neo-gothic overtones highlighted by the retro-apocolyptic blasted rock are a dead giveaway." He clapped his hands together. "It simply screams ‘Shadowking.’"
Ferret Talondim
From: Curse of the Shadowmage
- "Do you know why we wizards are tolerated at all in Menzoberranzan?"
Liriel cast a quick, startled glance at her father. "Target practice?"
Lirirel Banrae and Gromph Banrae
From: Daughter of the Drow
Here ends the combined several editions of The Wit and Wisdom of the Realms. I shall update these as soon as I can read more Realms novels. Tell me what you think and send me some of your own. I can be reached at dpb4k@virginia.edu
I offer a hearty thanks to all the authors of these books and the creators of such characters so that I could ‘play’ in the Realms. I would have quotes from All Shadows Fled and Titan of Twilight but my book is currently in the possession of a friend of mine. ((I forgot to write them down before I let him borrow the books))
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