Gaufqwi Glossary
- animal rights (n):
- Apocryphal concept sometimes used to argue that playing Gaufqwi
is unethical. See food chain.
- bunt (v):
- Advanced technique in which a gerbil is struck with a two by four
with sufficient force to propel it to the desired location but not so
much force as to kill it.
- food chain (n):
- Biological principal permitting larger, stronger animals to do
what they like with smaller, weaker ones.
- frood (n):
- The thin film of blood, sweat, and fur that typically coats both
swardsmen at the end of a Gaufqwi match.
- jig (v):
- To skewer a (presumed) dead gerbil and attempt to deliver it to
one of the takers' bear traps. One of the two ways of scoring points
in Gaufqwi.
- match (n):
- Proper name for a single Gaufqwi contest.
- nick (n):
- A gerbil that displays the athletic prowess to clear the pit area
of a goal, only to be eaten by the cat. Named for the most famous
gerbil to make this blunder, the legendary "Iron Nick." Nicks are not
scored.
- nonscorable (adj):
- Applies to a jigged gerbil renmant of less than two-thirds of the
former gerbils body mass.
- scorable (adj):
- Applies to a jigged gerbil remnant consisting of at least two-thirds
of the former gerbils body mass.
- sleeper (n):
- A Gaufqwi match in which no gerbils expire. Exceedingly rare.
- sward (n):
- The field of play in Gaufqwi.
- swardsman (n):
- One of the competitors in a Gaufqwi match.
- taker (n):
- The official in a Gaufqwi match. Takers are responsible for marking
the target gerbil and calling penalties in the case of rules violations.
