Poor Bobby Heenan. The Brain performs the ultimate act of charity and gets nothing but venom for it. The venom comes from the biggest brat in professional sports, the Red Rooster. The kid had nothing--no size, no brains, no ability--and Heenan, out of the kindness of his heart, took him in. Heenan certainly didn't need the clean-scrubbed dimwit in the family, not with the Brain Busters, King Haku, Ravishing Rick Rude, and Andre the Giant already there. The Brain managed the Rooster strictly to fulfill some deep-seated urge to help the needy. Then, the ingrate bit the hand that fed him. It just goes to show that it doesn't pay to be nice anymore.
But my faith in human nature isn't shattered. Because right after the Rooster showed the world how insensitive one individual can be, along comes a young man personifying fair play and high moral standards. I think you all know who I'm talking about--"The Brooklyn Brawler" Steve Lombardi.
lombardi got involved in this after Heenan taught the Rooster this sport from the ground up. Understanding that the kid was limited, the Brain kept saying, "Just listen to me, and you'll be all right." Wouldn't you know it? After the Rooster had a few matches under his belt, he actually began to think that he was responsible for his victories. Heenan would tell him what to do, and he'd no longer listen. On NBC's Saturday Night's Main Event, it all came to a head. Using his own insipid strategies, the Rooster was beaten by "Chico" Santana. If that wasn't bad enough, the fool then took out his frustration on his manager.
Well, the Brawler's a very ethical sort of human being and just couldn't stand seeing a do-gooderlike Heenan get the short end of the stick. So, on an edition of WWF Prime Time Wrestling, the Brawler paid the Rooster back for his thanklessness. It was a gesture too noble for words really, and Heenan appreciated it. Instead of being soured by one bad experience with a young protege, he offered to manage Lombardi. That's what I like about the Brain. In spite of hardship, he's able to grow emotionally. As for those vicious rumors that Bobby Heenan planned the attack and set up the Rooster for an ambush, they're phony.
I think Heenan's a lot better off with the Brawler. The kid's character can be summed up in one word: gentleman. Against the Rooster, he's fighting the just fight. Let me go on record by saying that the Brawler's going to pluck that Grade D chicken's featners, then soak and salt and stick him in the freezer.
While we're on the subject of managers getting the bum's rush from their proteges: how do you like the shoddy treatment of Mr. Fuji got from Demolition after he secured the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Belts for them at WrestleMania IV and everything? Can you imagine that they actually believe that their careers will progress without the master in their corner? What a joke! Fuji spent a lot of time in planning sessions with Ax and Smash, and now all their secrets have been transfered to the Powers of Pain.
Fuji's an example of somebody who comes to this country and becomes a role model for others. The same can't be said about those two slobs from New Zealand, the Bushwackers. Every time I hear those dolts slobber through an interview, I feel like hunting down the customs agent who let them through. I fought in Vietnam to make America safe for democracy, not to open the floodgates to that type of vermin. I wonder if a vaccine has been discovered to innoculate us from their stupidity. I'm afraid the remedy is going to have to come in the form of the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, Jacques and Raymond, managed by the "Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart.
