17th December 2001 Carlo Cudicini had the best game in goal that I've seen since the seventeen year old Steve Francis kept a clean sheet against the mighty Liverpool of the eighties. I am beginning to think that Dr Les is right when he claims that we have the best keepers in the world at our club. I salute you, Carlo. Cazzo Fanculo ! (That's Italian for jolly well done). A magnificent performance that should make every Chelsea fan proud of their team, but may I inject a note of caution amongst the hysteria as I remind you that we are entertaining Bolton next Sunday. I have no doubt that the boys will confound us by struggling to win the game. We're Chelsea, after all. I will be attending the match, hopefully in an advanced state of drunkenness, so look out for a match report with all the gory details. Have a good Christmas.. 14th December 2001 If you want the truth, I will not be too upset if Luca's mob win. Regular readers will know how I feel about the fact that our most charismatic and successful manager ever was kicked in the teeth by Santa for his pains, aided and abetted by at least one mutinous little piece of merde (that's French for shite) who was a Chelsea player at the time. I would like nothing better than to see Bates squirming in his seat when Vialli achieves a famous victory over the Blues. This attitude will doubtless make me unpopular with certain of my readers and at least one of my contributors, but I couldn't care less. When Vialli was sacked it knocked my faith in the club so badly that it led to an almost total disillusionment with football, one that I am still trying to shake. I will never forgive Bates for that. Apart from that the opportunity to piss Dr Les off is one that should never be missed... Which brings me to Dr Les's latest ramblings. He admits that he's losing the plot, paradoxically a sign that he's not totally out to lunch after all. Unfortunately he is unable to resist a few digs at the usual suspects, thus confirming that his temporary moment of lucidity is, alas, only a flicker... 7th December 2001
The Return Of Dr Les 6th December 2001 5th December 2001
Santa Goes Hatstand (Part 567) You wouldn't think so, though, to read Santa's manic rant in the annual report, where he conveniently ignores the loss-making hotels, clubs and restaurants, concentrating instead on the only part of the business that has ever made a profit, namely the football club. He gives the impression that all is rosy at CV and that it's a thriving, dynamic business. As anyone who's been there on anything but a matchday will testify, Chelsea Village is anything but thriving or dynamic. Bates even tried to pull the wool over our eyes by comparing Chelsea's financial performance with Manchester United's, declaring that "No matter which test is applied... Chelsea comes second only to Manchester United on all counts." A cursory glance at the balance sheets of both organisations reveals just how misleading a statement this is: Manchester United made a profit of £30 million last year, whereas Chelsea Village lost over £11 million and are probably more in debt than any other club in Europe. Santa was evidentally imbued with the spirit of Christmas at the AGM, which is supposed to be a forum where shareholders can call the directors of the company they've invested in to account, as he was heard telling one dissatisfied shareholder to "sit down you wanker". Another shareholder quite reasonably wanted to know why Santa was so relentlessly upbeat about the state of CV's finances when they'd just lost a fortune. The classic answer was "That's just nitpicking." It's too depressing to go on. If you want to know more about the dire situation at Chelsea Village, the Chelsea Action Group will soon have the blood pounding in your ears.. 4th December 2001
Voice Of The East Stand Rides Again 2nd December 2001 Whichever way you look at it, Chelsea's performance against Man U, both on and off the pitch, was of the highest calibre; while the Chelsea players were sticking it to Man U on the pitch, us mortals who could only get to see the game on Sky once again witnessed a superb display from the 3,000 or so Chelsea fans, who completely drowned out 60,000 muppets for well over ninety percent of the game. I salute you. It constantly amazes me just how useless Man U's fans are. I get thousands of emails from these people crowing about what a great team they support, what superb fans they are, and how dare I insult the greatest team that ever was, we've won everything, blah blah blah. All very well when you're winning, but needless to say I haven't had ONE email sticking up for them since Saturday. And they wonder what I've got against them ! Come back and see me when you're wearing long trousers, you fucking bandwagon-monkeys. One comment on the game itself: sad to see David Beckham, a great player and so-called ambassador for his country, resorting to blatantly diving in the penalty area. It was pathetic. No wonder Lord Fergie of Cat's Arse took him off in the end. All in all a fantastic week, with two of our main rivals embarrassed by Chelsea on their home soil. Big up to Lord Ranieri and the boys, and here's looking forward to more of the same. November rants
© 1996-2002
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
Chelsea 4 Liverpool 0
Chelsea give Liverpool, league leaders and pretenders to the title, their biggest hiding for five years in a game that must rank as one of the better games seen at Stamford Bridge. Every single Chelsea player gave their all for 90 minutes against a resolute Liverpool side who fought back all the way. There was an element of luck in the way a couple of the goals were initially saved by Jerzy Dudek only to fall straight to a Chelsea player to slot the ball home, but I believe that the boys made their own luck last night.
We've Got A Semi On
Chelsea's last-minute victory over the Geordies the other night in the Worthington Cup has set up the possibility of a fascinating semi-final with First Division club Watford. As all Chelsea fans will know, Watford are managed by Chelsea legend Don Gianluca Vialli, so at the very least we are guaranteed a media circus that will be even more ludicrous than usual.
Apology
A reader has complained about a reference to "Paddies" in a piece by one of my contributors. I know the contributor well, and can tell you that he did not intend any insult, but I'm sorry if anyone was offended.
My old chum Dr Les has once again returned to the fold after some hair-raising adventures in Vietnam, Malaysia and Thailand involving Ladyboys and Man U fans. I can't believe the Thai authorities let him into the country after the last time, but that is another story...
Chelsea 0 Charlton 1
Chelsea pay dearly for missed chances as they lose to a last minute goal by Charlton at Stamford Bridge. I wasn't there so I can't comment, but Klaus was and he will no doubt have a thing or two to say once he's recoverd from his hangover. Watch this space..
The Empire Strikes Back
Klaus is having none of my racial stereotyping of the Germans and has launched a Blitzkrieg of stinging rebuttals..
The latest in an increasingly worrying series of outbursts from Santa Ken Bates took place at the Chelsea Village AGM last Friday, where he blamed "cowardly" Americans for the failure of the ailing hotels at Stamford Bridge to attract visitors. Nice going, Ken. Alienating the people your hotel and travel companies have been specifically courting is a spectacular own goal by any standards, especially against the backdrop of a failing empire that has once again lost millions.
Fuck Me Sideways...
Ladies and Gentlemen: Try to imagine the most shocking event that could occur on this planet, where shocking events have become a daily occurrence. Well what I have to tell you will rock you to the very core of your existence. Yes, it is that bad; I still can't quite believe that something like this could happen. Perhaps I have awoken in some kind of laughable, topsy-turvy, parallel universe ? It can't be true, and yet, as I stare in disbelief at the Premier League tables, it is incontrovertibly there for all to see: TOTTENHAM ARE ABOVE CHELSEA IN THE LEAGUE !! Next you will be telling me that Leeds have won the fair play trophy ! Bring on the smelling-salts...
Having been on a two week bender to celebrate the fact that the Germans somehow scraped into the World Cup finals, Klaus has seen fit to send in his comments on the glorious victory over Leeds last week. Wait till he finds out that, for once, the English have beaten the Germans to it and have chucked their beach towels down on the sunbeds of the only hotel in Korea that doesn't have a menu consisting exclusively of Dog and Chips....
Man Utd 0 (NIL) Chelsea 3 (THREE)
You could say that it's been a good week for The Blues - two away wins, against the two teams commonly supposed to be the best opposition in the Premiership (although the common supposition that Leeds are any good is so far wide of the mark that it's ridiculous).
