Robbo: "Oi!  Ref!  I want to play in the Premiership so I can get paid twenty grand a week to cheat".
Prat in black:  "Very well.  I will place my hands on your shoulders and your lack of distribution qualites will heal".
(Tony Bedford)

"Look, nothing up my sleeves...and hey presto, a penalty out of thin air"
(Peter Hart)

Mike Reed : "OK boys, sing with me  'Blue is the colour' "
(John Dennis)

"I'm sorry but my boss said they couldn't lose"
(Ian Oliver)

Reed :  "All together now lads, Blue is the colour........."
(Steve Merritt)
A common theme or what?

"I see no remonstrations, it must have been the correct decision!"
(Martin Brodetsky)

Gilly: Give me a 'C'
Robbo: Give me a 'U'
Remy: Donnez-moi un 'N'...
[you guess the rest]
(Chris Day)

Reed: Look at this lovely pair of watches I have. Look - the left one has "To MR with love, KB and GV" engraved on it...
(Chris Day)

Mike Reed: "Right lads, remember the Winkers Song by Ivor Biggun & the Red
Nose Burglars.
        It goes like this ' I'm a w******, I'm a w****** '"
(Peter Stott)

Mike Reed : - "Free kick! Offside! Throw in! Penalty! Goal to Chelsea!"
Robbo : - "Errrr....the game hasn't actually started yet, Mike".
(Jim Crompton)

Mike Reed : - "Penalty"
Robbo : - "Who to?"
Mike Reed : - "Us".
(Jim Crompton)

"any advance on £2000............."
(Ian Oliver)

"I'm going to need a wallet THIS big"
(Ed)

Robbo : "The pile of cash was how big???"
(Neil Ross)
 
Reed: "Look, Christophe, just 'cos you were in Rentaghost doesn't mean you can make my crap decisions disappear like Nadia bloody Popov!!!"
(Myles Francis)