Dearest Tommie,

You're so dashing, so gallant and so courageous that the first time I set eyes on you, I was mesmerized by your limpid eyes. *sigh* You've the cutest voice in class, the silkiest hair, the most adorable smile, the loveliest shell-like ears.... very desirable eyebrows too... But I seem to be not a part of your existence at all. Such is life! Cruel fate has chosen to torment me so much. I desire to see you everyday, to have your melodious voice always wafting around my ears. You're so talented, with your guitar and all... But now--adieu... writing about you to you raises my blood pressure too much for my own good.

XXXXX
Love,
SECRET ADMIRER

"On my own, pretending he's beside me.... all alone, I walk with him till morning... In the darkness, I feel his arms around me... When I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me..."

Some questions raised:

• The first line doesn't make sense, does it??!
• Is Tommie's hair silky?
• Is Tommie's voice cute/melodious?
• Is Tommie's smile adorable?
• Are Tommie's ears shell-like (pretty small shells, those!)
• Are Tommie's eyes limpid?
• *gasp* Is Tommie actually.... talented?
• Does this make any sense at all to you?