A Mushroom Experience
The God Zone
Bacchus
I am God and God is me and we are all ecstatic.
*What: 4+ gm freshly dried,small, P.C., plus ~6 gm just picked
Blended with
juice, drank on empty stomach
*Who: some total stranger
*Where: home alone
*Why: fun, recreation (literal meaning)
*Set: open to any teachings, but no notion of what form they may
take
Started off trying to play piano, as it began to hit hard, gave
up and laid
on the floor. Mind roaming all over the place. Lots of stuff going
on in my
life right now: pending divorce,being dad to my 5 yr old daughter
and 2 yr
old step daughter, stuff at work, relationship with a wonderful
and
intellectually complex woman.....
Had just finished Wavy Gravy's "Something Good For a Change" (begun
at the
tail of my last excursion, a week prior), and kept thinking: "god,
my life's
such a complicated mess", then: "what a ridiculous situation"
then: "it IS
ridiculous, it's funny!", then being overcome with giggling. Then
I'd launch
down memory lane, coming back to the present with a thought like
"gee, I did
kind of a half-assed job on that at work today", then off to somewhere
else
in my life's history. This continued for ~ half an hour, with
me not feeling
sorry for myself or down on myself, yet at the same time thinking
that my
life, or my way of living it, could be better.
I flashed on something I had started to work on last week, on
a much milder
trip with my significant other. I wanted to make my mind like
an infinite
plain, where no thoughts could hide, and everything was right
there in the
open, on the same level. At the time, told this to ML, who is
much more
psychologically oriented than I, and she said she was spending
lots of her
trip watching her brain think about itself.
Back in the "here" and "now", I put those 2 concepts together.
I started
thinking about my thoughts, and watching them be thunk,. This
set up some
kind of infinite recursive feedback loop, and all of a sudden,
WHAM! I was
pushed over to the other side, into the ineffable, unknowable,undescibable
God Zone. Conscious thought was a completely impossible miracle,
and I was
right there, in the eternal now. Self evident cosmic truths came
bubbling
up, like:" It just is." " Why? Because." And my favorite: "So?........So
What!" which begat a giggling fit. Writhing and rolling on the
floor, out of
my mouth coming "Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God...."
Wrote a song about it, goes like this:
"Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God
Oh Man Oh Man Oh Man Oh Man
So?......................................So What!"
It was impossible to be this high, yet I was. I couldn't believe
it- of
course, cause it's beyond belief.
Right before I broke through, my mind was getting very busy, and
I had been
hoping to reach some kind of Zen like calm, a place of no thought,
just
being. Well, it wasn't like that. My mind was so melted, and feverishly
thinking, but not about anything. There was no fear- sometimes
an idea would
pop up like "I've totally lost it, I'm crazy, and I'm never coming
down". To
which came the response "So?...... So What!" I was completely
beyond any
emotion other than ecstacy. The more I tried to think about it,
the more I
tried to think at all, the more awestruck I became. The whole
world was
based on thought, perception, awareness, consciousness- it exists,
life
exists, cause we _know_ it does. Where does this awareness come
from, where
does it go when our bodies die? This busy happy bubbling God Soup,
that's
where.
After a while, my body got restless, so I stood up and wandered
around the
dark house. There were some token trippy effects, that, another
time would
have been quite engaging: beautiful complex 3D patterns, odd perceptual
changes. They almost seemed beside the point. Looked outside-
the sky was
strikingly beautiful.
After an eternity, or a couple of seconds, or a couple of hours
by the
clock, my brain started getting tired. More work than you'd think,
this God
stuff. I realized I was coming down- an hour ago I thought it
would be
impossible to _ever_ come down! Started feeling like coming down
might be a
good idea, and it was seeming inevitable anyway. Had a pack of
American
Spirits in the freezer for just such an occasion. A few puffs
of tobacco
started my descent back to ground....
All of a sudden feeling cold and sleepy. Laid down in bed, and
just 5 hours
after ingestion, immediately fell into a deep sleep. Woken up
by ML 2 hours
later- shes a midwife on call, and had to drop off her daughter
to go to a
birth. Turned out to be a good thing, cause I can write this while
it's
still fresh in my mind..........
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