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THE GREATEST NEWSLETTER IN THE WORLD............................................................
CG-WEEKLY
October 30, 1998 and November 13, 1998
So I know there hasn't been a weekly in a few weeks. Two weeks ago there wasn't one, so for this week I have combined the last week of October with last week. Might I add, that these two weeks were very strange and whacky and explanations are as follows: October 30, 1998 was the night before Halloween and last week was November Friday the 13th. You will soon understand why this is critical to the chaos.
So, without any further hesitation or hype I present to you the CG-Weekly
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October 30, 1998
7.45 Tubbs, Big Sexy, Zaira, Duke
9.00 Rob, Bill, Andy,
9.15 Nick and his friend Dave
9.30 Devo, Barry, Greg
9.40 Magnus
So this week starts off with us celebrating Bills 18th birthday, it should be his 22nd but for some reason he can't remember the last four years, thus making him 18.
This weeks notes were also a group effort, which makes it all the more worthwhile, but at times it makes it a bit more difficult to decipher or understand.
So KISS was cranking out of the speakers and the stupid band has the audacity to go on mid song, thus ending the song early , which was followed up by Big Sexy, Tubbs, and Magnus rushing the stage and beating the living shit out of the Infractions.
Barry has finally made it to the CG, after a year of talk he finally stepped through the door and he instantly returned to his high school days from NH, where he had a mullet and wore cowboy boots, but more importantly where he used to be the infamous town drunk.
Brandon, being very intoxicated confuses the band with a real band and starts singing some tunes.
Andy has a new name, Yayo.
Since the atmosphere was filled with mischief and trickery the cook came out dressed up like "The Big Doorman" (Dennis), not the Big Bossman as many have been misled. He was Dennis, from funny hat down to the Jean Jacket, he even had a fuman-chu painted on his face. Hysterics to the max. (only difference was weight, but we know how Dennis can get sensitive about that issue. So...... Just Kidding, but that's what you get for getting us carded while you watched Dennis!)
11.10 Rob has been transformed into a pyro, as he kept lighting matches by snapping his fingers. "Fire-Marshall Rob"
Bill, being forced to celebrate, takes 2 "cocks" right after one another and doesn't even choke. Some say he liked them. Then Luke shook his hand.
The Band, fearing their lives, called Bill up to the front and played Happy B-Day 2 times and gave him a free T-Shirt
"Andy's never sober" - Bill
Bill at this point attempts to order "Cocks" for Andy, Rob, Devo, and himself. Bill is so drunk he only orders one and then is so selfish he keeps the "cock" for himself and doesn't share.
"Jarrod is the biggest asshole in the world" - Nick
"Jarrod trying to find Nick to stick it in his ass" - unknown
"Jarrod fucks no man!" - Jarrod
"I would rather sit at home and watch my dick get smaller than hang out with Jarrod ever again" - Nick
"Bill wants to kick the bands ass" - Rob
"Did you order my hollywood? No! No! What is your major malfunction Pyle?!?!?!?" - Brandon
The following is via the ghost writer:
Bill thinks he is Van Morrisson reincarnated
"Brown Eyed Girl" - Bill Van Bradford Morrisson
"Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining"
"Where is the lumberjack contest?" - John
"What's with all the gays?" - Rob
The band at this point is really horny and is trying to call Bill over, so the play Happy B-Day again!!!
Jarrod is shitfaced and now, he is Andy
Bill starts giving the finger to people passing by the Posse window, he is the angry Irish drunk who loves CG troll
"Andy challenges Jarrod to a brawl in the back alley. Is there a back alley?" - Rob
"Yes, it is there secret hiding place" - Jay
Friday Night Nitro!
Ultimate Jay vs. Hacksaw Alcoholic Andy in a steel cage match.!!
Well that's the weekly for the night before Halloween. now if you think that is weird you better fasten you seat belt for the next full weekly.
It should be mentioned that Nick is being upped to Lifer from a friend, he has shown some sort of regularity, once ever 4-5 weeks, sometimes more sometimes less, but he should be recognized.
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November 6, 1998
I know I said that there wasn't a weekly for this week, there isn't and I don't remember much of it except for the fact that afterwards we all drove to my house, including Jarrod in his own car and Pete in his. We were all going to play hockey at 2:30 in the morning and were quite serious about it. We told one of Tubbs' neighbors to eff off while all of us were crowded in his street. This is just the beginning.
Pete and Jarrod didn't know each other's cars and they literally tried running each other off the road. I was in the other lane and was quite amused but thought they were just messing around. I just remember Pete flooring his car and all I saw in my rear view mirror was a cloud of smoke behind his car and then Jarrod swerve out from behind him. It was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. But at my house we were all playing fooze and then Pete, Andy and Rob decided to go to McDonald's to get us food. While they were gone Jarrod lost to me in fooze and picked up the foosball table in anger. So then Tubbs, Bill and I are waiting for food and then the phone rings. Pete, jackballs himself, calls from a payphone saying he got pulled over for DRIVING AROUND MY ROTARY TWICE WHILE THE COPS WERE SITTING THERE. INTERJECTION - THE COPS WERE SITTING THERE WHEN WE FIRST ARRIVED AT MY HOUSE!!! Anyhow he dropped Andy and Rob off at Rob's house and now they had to drive back and get Bill and Andy's car. Jarrod was pissed, he wanted his cheeseburger, I just wanted my chocolate shake.
I added that because I wanted to spread the good humor around. And I wanted to spread the warning of rotary's.
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IT SHOULD BE MENTIONED THAT THE NIGHT PRIOR TO THIS WAS A GREAT MOMENT, KISS KICKED OFF THEIR 1998 TOUR AND THE PRONGERS, NICK , BRANDON, AND COMMONER TO BE, JIM, ATTENDED.
And now the most current weekly for Friday, November 13th in the year 1998.
For this week there wasn't a weekly being written, until the moment which forever changed the lives of the Posse members present.
I will begin the weekly from where the notes start, mainly because I don't remember much prior to it.
Posse member present prior to "The Event"
John, Lisa, Zaira, Rob, Bill, Andy, Tubbs, Duke.
12.00 John, Lisa and Zaira out
12.15 let the chaos and madness begin. Rob approached by two fat hoes, not the ph kind.
Rob is sitting in our corner with Jarrod these "sharks" (*refer to below) moved right in and start talking to them, Rob first. Bill and I are about 2 seats down and are quivering in fear. Andy returns from the bathroom and sits as a buffer for Bill and I between the sharks, Rob and Tubbs are cornered. So Rob is overheard saying, "my name is Steve(Rob), this is my friend Bob(Tubbs)." Pointing to Andy he says, "this is my friend Andy(Andy)." Bill and I are still worried, but are laughing at the web of lies Rob is creating. Eventually Rob points over to me and says, "that's my friend Tom(Duke)" So then I not going down in the sinking ship alone point to Bill and say, this is my friend Gary(Bill).
Crazy conversations were continued, all fabricated.
*At one point Luke points to Jarrod 1/2 eaten roast beef sandwich and says, "It's like chum for the sharks!" He then threatens to cut us off if they keep sticking around.
Fat Chick #1: "Why is your name Bob? That's so boring"
Bob: Don't fucking blame me, I didn't pick it!!! Are you insulting my parents?"
"FAT CHICKS RULE!!!" - Steve Buschnell
"I LOVE FAT CHICKS" - Mr. Broscheur
Thank the lord no one left with them, but as they were leaving they look in through the posse window and one of them sticks there tongue out!, "What the fuck was THAT!?!?!?!?!!!" - Bob
"Crazy mad fly cleavage. Jesus Christ she was the fattest of fat hoes" - Bob
Andy had mentioned to one of the fat hoes that Bob went to KISS.
Ho to Bob: "You Look too conservative to like KISS"
Bob: "What do you know? You just met me and now you are going to judge me?"
The fat ho had man hand's too! I know cuz I saw them WHEN SHE TOUCHED BOB!
"We may be uncool but we dissed the uncool" - Steve
"Rob started the whole goddam thang" - Bob
I should also mention that at one point Steve looks over at Bob and starts pointing to him saying, "Steve, Stevo, buddy!" While the hoes are right there. We covered up for him, or at least tried, and said that Steve was a big joker and was too drunk to know what he was doing. Bob was just sitting there not saying nothing, just frantically shaking his head back and forth!
By the end of the night our personal profiles are as such (in order of appearance):
Rob=Steve Buschnell from Providence (everytime Tom heard this he would yell out Provincetown, even if he was across the bar). Attended Roger Williams College and graduated in 1996 with a Business degree. He is 24 and knows all five of us.
Jarrod=Bob Errichsson from Brighton, near Cleveland Circle but not near BC??, he went to NU and is 24. He only knows Steve, but we are all crashing at his place tonight.
Andy=Andy Broscheur who is a French Canadian from San Diego. He major's in photography. He is 24 and is a friend of Steve.
Jay=Tom Magnum(as in P.I.) from Harrisburg West Virginia. Attended UVA and is an Arts major. Roommate is Gary ( and the hoes thought we were gay). This was first time in Boston and only knows Steve (Steve obviously gets around). At one point is heard yelling to Bob, "Dude, I don't even know you man, and I am staying at your place!" (Fat hoes giggled)
Bill=Gary Darren Mulligan from Thompson Kentucky. Attended UVA with Tom and is his roommate, he isn't gay either. He is a Polyscience major. He also only knows Steve. For some reason the fat hoes hate him or think that he hates them. Regardless, Bill thinks every female hates him and these two have devastated him for life.
As Steve was going to the bathroom, he turns to Bob and says, "You wanna go do some blow?" Now hoes think we all do coke
Hoes try to make Andy and Rob dance, they thankfully have none of that and Andy walks away. Rob, like a rock, won't budge off his stool and is now thinking that this may blow up in his face....and not his pants.
Well as you can clearly see there was much hijinks this week and the previous weeks. It appears that CG may be returning to the old school days. Some may say that this appears to be similar to that of the PH-phantom weekly or one of the weeklys fabricated in the past. I assure you that the entire story of the fat hoes is 100% true.
As a result of all this madness, the originator, Steve, has been promoted to Commoner. Not only was this one of the funniest nights at CG, but Steve, since his return to the Boston area, has yet to miss a date with the good ol' CG. You gotta love dedication....or in this case alcoholism.
Hope to see you all Friday, as you can see the festivities are never ending.
AND IT IS NEVER THE SAME PLACE TWICE!!!
I hope you enjoyed.
End Transmission
The Duke aka Tom Magnum