CG-Weekly 4-17-98

"Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs"

"Don't make me call you 'wide body'" - Jarrod pre-CG

So this week Pete and his girly friend Olivia showed up first. Around 9:00
I believe. John and Jarrod confirmed that this time he has made one of his
"better" decisions
"She was ph-phine!" - John

John showed up 9:15 I am told.

Jarrod made his entrance around 9:30

Zaira around the same time, though I am not really sure.

I wasn't there...yet.

10:00 no me. I said I would be there around 9:00.

11:00 still no me. Jarrod has written me off, but being so piss drunk
along with Johnny he could give a rats @$$. Ohh remember the Ratskellar. Oh
yeah, I show up around 11:30, parked right out front and walked right in.

Since I showed up late, very late, the kitchen was closed so I didn't want
to ask for a placemat, you know it would look kind of silly, (not that I am
always writing at the bar is silly, if you think so speak up, you'll be off
this so fast I'll call you Snipes II, "Mr. Purple in training" Anyhow, I
went to old school tactics, no no not memory, don't be silly, you still
want a weekly don't you? I went to bar napkins. You know what that is
don't you? THE PH-BOMB!

So, with everyone flabbergasted that I actually was able to show up, and me
being relieved I didn't have to drink alone (although there is nothing
wrong with that.)

Let's see I started right off with a Bacardi Limon and Soda. Luke asked if
I wanted soda in it! It was pure bacardi, as they were all night. So
bombastic that we kicked the bacardi, that's right, NOT A MISPRINT, They
rang the goddamm bell for the Bacardi because we drank it all, BAM! How do
you like them apples?

"I've got OZZY with this hand and slamma jamma with this hand" - John

If you didn't guess it, the trash talking returned as John wanted to school
Jarrod, Zaira and Me in B-ball. And Jarrod wanted to destroy everything in
his path. Zaira even started some trash talking, but she didn't play on
Sat. We played on Saturday, life is good.

"HOOKED UP!" - Jarrod
"She won't be dunking a donut, a cruller maybe!" - John

Now remember if you will, the drinks have been strong all night:
"I don't know if I am blind because of the alcohol or from the hair growing
in front of my eyes" - John

That's right, the drinks were so strong John's eyeballs started growing
hair! Witness.

Then, since I was playing catch up all night (mind you, I never did catch
up to the two Als ...Al Koholiks!) There was a return, no no not the
cookie, don't be gay! The blue, after about a month absence she made her
way back onto the scene, back into the glass, and my throat. Damn! ... she
tasted Sweeeeeeet!

Jarrod then remembering his high school days (when he used to wipe his
mouth on his sweatpants knees, did it again, but this time he was wearing
black jeans) he wiped the blue on his knee!
"THOSE ARE DRESSPANTS! FAGGOT...GAY" - John
"THEY HAVE RIVETS GOD DAMN IT!" - Jarrod trying to defend his pants.

Jarrod then decided he was gonna show Chip Hill a thing or two. He has
decided he is going to make his tennis comeback, and that he is going to
get on the tour. If I was Chip Hill, I would run for cover, Jarrod seems
to have become a man possessed. Of course, since Jarrod forgets everything
the next day, Chip may actually be safe...UNTIL JARROD READS THE WEEKLY!

Then the unsightliest of sights. Jarrod and I noticed a reflective
flashing red light first off a bottle then off the mirror. We were
stumped. We took upon this mission to find where the flashing red light was
coming from. Then.. I found the unthinkable, it was coming from the girl
sitting next to me, but she was awful. It was some sort of hippy necklace
I am assuming. So, since she had heard Jarrod and me screaming because we
thought we were under attack, I had to stay calm and tell Jarrod I found
it, he said "OK" and saved us both. She tried talking to us but we kind of,
sort of, just turned around and ignored her.

"If she was good looking, I may have pursued that" - Jarrod

"Chewbaccas got big boobs" - Jarrod (referring to another Chewwy, not the
"Original" CG Wookie)

FYI - BOOTY (aka LEMMINGS) is the greatest band ever!
THEY PLAYED HIGHWAY TO HELL! completely redeeming themselves, for this week
anyway.

Then for a song there was a disco ball!
"How long has that disco ball been there?" - me
"I've seen it here before" - Zaira
"as long as my ass has been here!" - Jarrod (I have no idea what he is
talking about)
"Hoochi mama! How 'bout that?" - John

Again, another return. THE LIGHTS CAME ON!

It's funny because if any of you visit the greatest web site:
http://moestavern.res.wpi.net/cg
you can all read about the time when the lights came on for the first time,
how it was a great feat, and when they came on for John for the first
time.. when he broke his cherry?

Well I think this ironic, I show up to CG late, write on napkins, Highway
to Hell is played, the lights come on, and BAM BOOM after three weeks I
think I am sending out some good material. That's what it is all about.
KEEPIN' IT REAL. OLD SCHOOL.

I hope you all enjoy this. I did


Jay

End Transmission.