CG-WEEKLY 3-27-98

LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMMBLE!

I can't explain it, maybe it was the sudden change in weather, all I know is
that Norton was in full effect at CG, the highest ratio I have ever seen!
IT WAS BOMBASTIC MR. FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"No, no, you don't want the goat ass, you want the sweet sweet poon!" -
Jarrod

This week we had a good size posse show up, but there were noticeable
absentees which did not sit well. Actually, no one really cared.

Who showed: John, Jarrod, Me, Brandon and his friend Chris, Adam, Mikhail,
Jim and two of his friends.

The Albino and hippie who were in our seats ALL NIGHT = not so good.

On our way to CG this evening while I stopped at McDonald's, Jarrod thought
up a homeless person experiment. He would throw a can into the trash and we
would time how long it would take the homeless guy standing nearby to get
the can. No sooner did Jarrod throw the can away and start to turn around,
The homeless guy was fighting off two of his buds for the can, NOT EVEN ONE
SECOND!

back to CG.

"Fuck a duck, Jabba the Hutt just walked in" - Jarrod

"....I broke a window with my ass" - Brandon

"Argh! my mind just fell out of my head!" - Jarrod

"Nick's new nickname is 'Screaming Nicky'" - Jarrod
"All signs point to yes!" - Brandon

"Where is Scream/UTG/UTG sister/fake-fat woodard?" - John

"My mind is like a steel trap . . . . that malfunctions all the time" -
Jarrod

The Cars - Let's Go 9:40

"I'm gonna get you some sweet sweet poon!" - Jarrod
"And I'll act like I don't even know" - John

"Ace Frehley lead bass guitar" - Jarrod
"Ohh Ace!" - John

"For the record, this is my new favorite fucking song!" - Jarrod

"These chicks over here by the phone, they're evening out the awfulness" -
Jay

"I popped my shoulder earlier tonight, so it feels much better and because
of it: I have my phantom left hook cooking all night; you can't even feel
it!" - Jarrod

"I forgot what I was going to write" - me
"write that down" - Brandon

Ramones - 9:50
My own private Idaho - 10:00

Jarrod and I mixed up drinks, he ordered a TNT, whereas mine was a BLS with
a splash of OJ. So we didn't realize they were mixed up until we were
finished.

"Look at that shake" - me

POON QUOTA OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!

"Chip Hill ran me out of the sport!" - Jarrod referring to H.S. Tennis

"Hey John get me my drink already!" - Brandon

"Albino keeps farting!" - me
"It's gross" - John
"Let's kill him" - Jarrod

Blondie - 10:20

"SCIENCE!" - Jarrod 10:30
"She blinded me with science" - Brandon

". . . . myself! m-i-c-e e-l-f!" - Jarrod

"Hoochi Mama!" - John

Video killed the radio star

"For the record, Albino man has been replaced by man with the red pants" -
Jarrod

"Randy what a fine girl" - Brandon
WKRP in Cincinnati (covered by THE LEMMINGS)

We also took notice that Jarrod goes to the bathroom more times than Zaira,
probably making up for her absence from the scene FOR TWO WEEKS IN A ROW

remember white shirt girl? NORTON!

"what is he doing?" - me
Jarrod on his knees flailing his arms, "I'm break dancin' mutha fucka!"

Big gay Al "Super, thanks for asking"


Brandon, this weeks CG correspondent, fabricates:

"Brandon is a God" - Suzie
"I am Gay" - Jarrod


and back to the news:

"How do you spell highway?" - John
Then he rips off a piece of weekly placemat to request HIGHWAY TO HELL!

"As cool as the flip side of a pillow"

"If your poon is as good as your breath, I'm in baby!" - Brando to Suzie
(fabrication via Jarrod)
"Her breath smelled like she sucked 10 dicks on the way through the parking
lot!" - Brandon

"Shit is goin' to happen" - Brandon
"You gotta love Bon Jovi!" - John

"What happened to Al" --Bino?" - John
"He's out" - me
"Why is Megadeth still sitting here?" - John

"You been working out?" - Jarrod
"Brandon is kicking mad ph-phat pythons!" - Jarrod

"What cover band plays this song in their right mind?"

Jarrod spills TNT all over me
"Sorry about you groin" - Jarrod

"Lay down the phat groove" - John

"about your 9:00, she likes the dark meat" - Jarrod

John out at 11:30

"For the record, John still sucks ass because he left way too early.
Muthahfuckah. No excuse will suffice." (yes Jay, still write this on the
weekly, Jarrod "the insensitive bastard" will take credit)

Brandon and Chris were out at 11:00
Jarrod and I were out at 1:00

As Jarrod and I were leaving were experienced "THE KILLER BEES!!!!!" Two
grown men in furry bee costumes (we believe them to be the Kahlua bees) were
standing outside CG, as Jarrod saw them he fell to his knees once and
shouted "The killer bees!" He then composed himself walked about three feet
and lost it again, turning around pointing and yelling "The killer bees!
They kick my ass!". Again we turn around and start walking and again Jarrod
falls over laughing! you get the idea.

Then on Saturday, John mentioned that he had another Mass Pike experience!
(refer to Archives) He again got off at Route 30 because he "thought" he
lost the Pike Card, when in fact he didn't pick it up yet! This time
however John realized he was all set because he could get back on the Pike
and get another ticket. He also acquired a Ginseng Tea along the way, he
doesn't quite remember where. He has also rekindled the flame between the
Posse and the almighty CLA drunken hallway excursions. Hey John, I still
have more door knob plates than I know what to do with, door knobs too.

Well this weekly was composed of 4 complete sides and I wrote really small,
except toward the end where I was getting drunk.

Well until next week. For those who read the weekly but never show up, keep
on reading about it if you can't handle the trash talk; which by the way I
can't write down as fast SO YOU MISS OH SO MUCH!


End Transmission.

The Edge Out.