March 20, 1998

There is no John!

I had figured this weekly would be the shortest ever, since there was no
John/Jarrod one liner frenzy. I assumed it would be non-existent. I was
wrong. I was so dead wrong, in fact, that the weekly broke all sorts of
cherries. We blew away the old record of three sides with 6 SIDES of
MADNESS! I will be doing some editing. Also, this was the first time that
there were co-writers of the weekly, not one-liners but full on, helping me
out when I forgot lines and stuff.

So here goes it, without Tre'.

Jarrod, this ones for you, "Fuck my pussy doctor!" - Dr. Octagon

So Jarrod and I showed up around 7:00

five minutes later, which seemed like an eternity:

"are you bored?"
"where am I?"
"I could be home getting head sitting on my big 'comfy' couch drinking
black and tans." - Jarrod

Then to our surprise, Web Master General, Devo makes his entrance, the
earliest I can ever remember - 7:30.

This week the boys are going to write down my quotes as well, since they
say there is a lack of them, since I am always writing. people reading this
may have thought I was mute, after reading this they may wish I was.

"You go to the South Central Page?" - plays Wed. nights on Comedy Central - me

"For the record, after I eat this an alien is going to burst out of my
stomach." - Jarrod
"and dance on the table?" - me
"I hope so." - Jarrod

"Nothing more attractive than a pregnant woman with big (breasts)" - me

"UTG sister has been spotted"

"You know what the yuppies call a Tangueray and Tonic nowadays?...T and T" -
Luke (credit Jarrod)

9:00 OH THE VEST MAKES A RETURN! + guy friend

"You must have gone home and played with it"
"Yes, I played with it 'til I went blind"

Side note, Jarrod has seen Iron Eagle III

9:30 "What's up with Sherwin? Fucko!" - Jarrod

"I can't handle the double trouble without John here." - Jarrod
"Try me, I'm good" - Devang
"Let me take my pants off first." - Jarrod

9:28 UTG in the hazouse

"I could go for a big plate of nachos" - Devang
"I could go for a big plate of poon" - me

"Redvest want John's cock/ Boyfriend Jealous" - Devang
"Look at me I have a salamander on my cock" - Devang

Stray Cats first song of the night at 9:40!

"Can I have a soda?" - band member
"Club Soda?" - Luke
"Pepsi colaaa or cocaaa-colaaa, maan" - band dude
"Pepsi colaaa or cocaaa-colaaa, maan" - Luke
hehehe

"Low Rider!" - Devang
"How do you see a low rider from here?" - me
"You Asshole! The song!" - Devang

"They should pay us to listen to their crap (band)" - me
"I'd be happier if they'd stick a cock in my ear" - Jarrod

9:50 Sherwin shows, finally

Big Audio Dynamite II 9:55
My Own Private Idaho 9:58

"Give me the pen sucka!" - Devang

credit Devo for this:

Duran Duran - Girls on Film 10:00

"You know who we haven't seen in awhile? - Jay
"John!" - Jarrod
"The flame on the fuse on the BOMB!" - Jarrod
"Cheerleaders on TV - OH YEAH!" - Jay

No John = No Zaira

Credit Jarrod:

Puff Dad - 10:15
"Redvest's dude is pissed! (the dude the soldier dude!)" - Jarrod

Redvest = Sean Puffy Groupie

"What's her name?" - Jarrod
"VEST!" - Jay

"I think I have herpes." - Devang??

She blinded me with Science! (BOMB VERSION) - 10:25

Twenty twenty twenty four hours ago, I WANNA BE SEDATED! - 10:30

At this point Jarrod loses his mind and starts writing down as he put it,
"Ice Mutha-Fuckin' Cube Lyrics" I figured since we all know Cube's lyrics
it would save time to not write them all out, my editing judgment

"That mother fucker from the band didn't even tip LUKE!" - Devang

ROCK LOBSTER - 10:40

Now, Devang loses his mind and starts writing down NWA lyrics, OLD SCHOOL
IN THE HAZOUSE! "with a lil' bit o gold and a pager!"

Redvest out at 10:42 no cashish . ..... sheeesh - Devang

Groove at 10:45 - Mad Bass Jarrod

"Where'd you go?"

"Whip It" - 10:50

CD Player = good song

"why are there only four of us?" - Sherwin (Jay, Jarrod, Devang, Sherwin)
"cuz' the rest fail!"

Joke:

"It's this guys first night in jail, the cellmate says, 'do you wanna be
mommy or daddy?' so guys says to himself, there is no way I'm taking it up
the ass... 'I'll be daddy', 'OK, why don't you come over here and suck
mommy's cock!'" - Luke HAHAHA! BOMBASTIC MR. FANTASTIC

GoGo's - 11:00

"there is a porno bag on the bar!"

"Jarrod is wasted!" - me
"I may be acting, or I may not have been!" - Jarrod
"I could be shit faced or my face could be.. shit .. ugly?" - Jarrod
"Where the fuck is JOHN! Goddam son of a bitch!" - Jarrod

"Hey Jay, this weekly is gonna be BOMBASTIC MR. FANTASTIC!" It's HUGE!" - Jarrod

SIDE 6 (finally)

"This band is bad" - me
"always, across the BOARD!" - Jarrod
"some play good covers" - me
"ACROSS THE BOARD!" - Jarrod getting ready to slam dunk on my ass!

THE PROCESS, THE BAR, THE STOOL, THE BARTENDER, THE QUESTION, THE ANSWER,
THE USUAL, THE GUINNESS!

So this weekly finally comes to a rest. I hope you enjoy.

Sherwin left at 11:00

The Posse (Jarrod, Devang and myself) were out at 12:15 be faced early.

End Transmission

The Edge Out.