Slave Labor at the Fribble Mines

June 4. 1997

By Morgan Carlson

Well, despite my best efforts to the contrary, once again I find myself
working at Friendly's. I've discovered that the only thing more annoying
than working at the House That Fribbles Built is trying to find another
job.
It's actually, all things considered, not a bad place to work. If you
spend enough time there, you can find a charm all of its own. It's just
that the routine can be pretty maddening. Make fifty sundaes in a night
and you'll see what I mean.
What makes it worthwhile, though? Those zany regular customers. Here
is a sampling of Friendly's Finest.

- Joe: We're not actually sure this guy's name is Joe, but since his
mind is rarely in this plane of existence, he responds to any name you
can come up with. Always dressed in his Bruins jacket, he's ready for
action. He has that trademark 'mad scientist's assistant' voice and a
hunch that begs for the name 'Igor.' Upon any purchase, he will simply
hand over a fistful of cash - up to fifty bucks - and amble out the door
without waiting to get change. No one dares to ask where he gets the
money from.

- The Fish Sandwich Guy: An older guy, Fish Man is always wearing his
trademark wifebeater and slacks. Without fail, he comes in late at night
and orders a Fishamajig - totally plain. Should you even try to give
this man tartar sauce, he will go bonkers and raise hellfire in the
restaurant. Quite a guy. Much like Joe, Fish Man has seemingly no
concept of money and will pay any random amount for his meal, even though
he always orders the same thing. A side note - he talks so slowly, that
often his meal will be made as he is ordering it.

- Gerald: Gerald used to wash dishes at Friendly's, but - no lie - he
steadily went insane and had to be fired. He would occasionally come in
and - I am still not lying - order ice cream while calling me 'Mr. Big
Pants.' He would wear - oh man, I wish I was lying - oven mitts, a snow
cap, and an apron full of music tapes. Gerald always made things fun at
Friendly's, to be sure. Surprisingly, after Gerald went totally bonkers,
Friendly's DIDN'T hire him back.

Keep happy, gang.
- Morgan -

ecent.