Misty Watercolor Memories

December 10, 1997

By Morgan Carlson

Well kids, it's the end of classes here at Hofstra. The last quiz has
been taken, the last beeper has beeped, and some of the more
drug-inclined members of our campus have just discovered that it's December.
"Dude.... alright, man, we better get our books before the bookstore
closes."
"Um, guys, finals are next week."
"Woah, really? I wonder if I can still get carded into Basic Shoe Repair."
If I may (and I will, since no one will bother to stop me), I'm gonna
lead us on a trip down what I call 'Memory Lane'. Enjoy!

- Remember when the 'old school' Family was sitting on the stairs on
Kick-Off Weekend, and we met Tara and Matt for the first time? We also
met Jeff, some other kid, and of course the one, and only, big Rich. Of
course we know what Matt and Tara have been up to (Matt's got his
homepage, and Tara has been impaling people down at the always reputable
and usually sterile Piercing Pogoda), but whatever happened to Jeff, the
other kid, and Rich?

* Jeff did a lot of drugs and saw God. He later described the
experience as 'cool.' (Naturally, he did all of this in the same sweater.)

* 'The other kid' died. Nobody cared.

* Rich found a new room to dwell in unnoticeably, and he's been there
for six straight weeks.
"Alright guys, we gotta vaccum the room."
"Dude, there's some kid over here in the corner behind the beanbag
chairs."
"Shit, I think I've been sitting on him when I played Sega."

- Or how about when Lisa, Brian and I made a brave voyage into the city
and met a certain Carrie Barrett on the Blue Beetle. The conversation
we had was an epic discussion of social, philisophical, and moralistic
ideals which formed a lifelong bond.
"Um, Carrie, if we give you money, will you hang out with us?"

- In entertainment news, South Park kept us glued to our set, filling in
those times when we got sick of watching the fuzzed-out porno channels.

- And as for classes, um, well, um, did anybody go to some?

- Anyday now, I should be changing my sheets. (I only wish I was
kidding. The fucking sheets cling to me as I sleep. I got out of bed
this morning and I looked like Batman with a retarded Caldor-brand cape.)

- Lisa, Jeanine, Brie-Anne and I all found new work on campus. Oh,
wait, prostitution doesn't count. Okay let me start again: Lisa,
Jeanine, and Brie-Anne all found new work on campus.

- Kristen worked diligently in the field of modern English, and invented
such useful new terms as 'viarity' and furthered the widespread use of
the key term 'sumthin sumthin.'
EXAMPLE - I saw a cute girl, and gave her a viarity of sumthin' sumthin'.
TRANSLATION - I fucked a cute girl in many ways.

- Allan showered - twice!

Okay kids, as always, I ask you to add your own. Let's make these
some memories to be proud of, okay! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
- Morgan -

ecent.