"Oh man I will never forgive your ass for this shit, this is some fucked up repugnant shit"
"Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he is wrong, that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings, have you ever heard that ?"
"Get the fuck out of my face with that shit, the mother fucker said that shit never had to pick up itty bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass"
"I've got a threshold Jules, I've got a threshold for the abuse I will take, and right now I'm a fucking race car, and you've got me in the red and I'm just saying, I'm just saying that it's fucking dangerous to have a race car in the fucking red, thats all, I could blow"
"Oh, oh, you ready to blow ?"
"Yeh I'm ready to blow"
"Well I'm a mushroom cloud laying mother fucker, mother fucker, every time my fingers touch brain I'm superfly TNT, I'm the guns of the navarone, in fact, what the fuck am I doing in the back, you the mother fucker should be on brain detail, we fuckin' switchin', I'm washing the windows and your picking up this niggers skull"
"I'm gonna call a couple of hard pipe hittin niggers to go to work on the homes here, with a pair of pliers and a blow torch"
"And now for something completely different"
"No chance, English bedwetting types"
"I'll bite yer legs off"
"What are you gonna do ? Bleed on me"
"What an incredible Cinderella story......."
"Or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skullfuck you"
"I fart in your general direction"
"Bloody favouratism"
"I'm French..................why do you think I have this outrageous accent you silly king"
"Go away"
"Bullshit, I'll bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose"
"Wait up girls, I've got a salami I wanna hide still"
"Yes, it's true, this man has no dick"
"Nice beaver"
"Thankyou, I just had it stuffed"
"Let me help you with that"
"You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck !"
"Needlessly cut down and ambushed by some cowardly hoodlums"
"That's no way for a man to die"
"Nah, you're right Ed........a parachute not opening, that's a way to die, getting caught in the gears of a combine, having your nuts bit off by a laplander, that's the way I want to go"
"I've already told you once.........nobody screws with me"
"Well maybe you'll meet the right girl and all that'll change"
"In the words of John Paul Satre..... au revoir gopher"
"I smell varmint poontang"
"Hey, you want to earn $14 the hard way"
"Look's like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines"
"Do you take drugs Danny ?"
"Every day"
"Good"
"Freeze gopher"
"I'll slack you off you fuzzy little foreigner"
"Ooh, that was a good one"
"I want you to kill every gopher on the course......"
"I'm looking at you"
"You ever been in a cockpit before ?"
"No sir, I've never even been up in a plane before"
"Have you ever seen a grown man naked ?"
"Menace to the golfing industry"
"Be the ball"
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries"
"I feel happy"
"Oh, bloody hell"
"You must cut down the mightyest tree in the forest with........a HERRING"
"Hey baby, you got girlfriend Vietnam ?........"
"Icky icky icky icky F'tang zoom boing"
"Stop that, it's silly"
"Jesus Christ!!!"
"Fuck you, I can live my own life in my own way if I want to"
"You lucky, lucky bastard"
"Bring out the gimp"
"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy"
"Ni"
"Well, no shit"
"I bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, know what I mean, nudge nudge"
"Well I've got a joke for you.......I'm gonna tear you a new asshole"
"Well pilgrim, only after you eat the peanuts out of my shit"
"Death awaits you all, with nasty big pointy teeth"
"Nah, that's not dead, it's, er, resting"
I am a shrubber, my name is Roger the shrubber, I arrange, design and sell shrubberies"
"Tis but a scratch"
"It's a huge shit sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite"
"Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister"
"Suck me sideways"
"Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time"
"We fire arrows in the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already"
"If that is a woman it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick"
"Weirdo"
"Well, let's see, I got one aadvark, one flamingo, four porcupines, two armadillos, three badgers......"
"Badgers........Badgers.........we don't need no stinkin badgers"
"You tiny brained wipers of other peoples bottoms"
"Look you stupid bastard you've got no arms left"
"Yes I have"
"LOOK"
"It's just a flesh wound"
"I'm invincible......"
"You're a looney"
"She turned me into a newt"
"A newt ?"
"I got better"
"Ok, I'm thinking of something........orange..........something orange......orange. You give up ? It's an orange, get it ? hahahaha.This is fun huh ? Ok, now I'm thinking of something blue.......something bluuue"
"Mmmnnnnn, this is a tasty burger"
"Sprite"
"Sprite, good. Do you mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down ?"
"Stop causing problems you'll get us all killed, give em what you've got and get em out of here"
"Shut the fuck up fatman this aint none of your god damn business"
"Correctamundo"
"Big cahuna burger"
"I was born to love you, I was born to lick your face, I was born to rub you, but you were born to rub me first"
"I don't remember askin you a god damn thing"
"You beast, you savage..... come on, bark like a dog for me"
"Don't be tellin me about foot massages, I'm the foot fuckin master"
"You given a lot of them ?"
"Shit yeh, I got my technique down and everything, I don't go ticklin' or nothing"
"You hear me talking hillbilly boy"
"Well, lets not start suckin' each others dicks quite yet"
"Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid"
"I could blow"
"Oh oh, you ready to blow ?"
"Yeh, I'm ready to blow"
"Well I'm a mushroom cloud laying mother fucker, mother fucker"
"So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fucking car"
© 1997 
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