Table of Contents

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While in Israel, I kept a journal starting from my first week in Israel, at my cousin's wedding, and annoyed friends and relatives around the world by mailing the entries. Here for you are the entries of my diary. There are warnings next to the various entries. The entries are all in chronological order.
There are Hebrew in many of these stories, but they are in English. If you do not have the Hebrew fonts, then don't worry, I transliterate. If you don't know Hebrew, don't worry, I translate.



Terrorist This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Sword This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Smoking Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Soap
Melanie This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Smoking apology Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Genie This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Finding the Aunt's
Strike
The Day the Lady Died This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Significant Others This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Avacadoes
New Theories This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Second World Countries This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
My Roommate This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
Cameras
Metric System
New RitualsIf your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
The MatzosI'm sorry, but I can't put this up on the internet.
Alternative Views on ReligionPotentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Getting the phone
Green
Israel Thpppt.
RésuméPotentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Malcolm X
French FightThis piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
French Prejudice This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
Dvar TorahPotentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Jump
Philosophy???This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
MalaysiaThis piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Light BulbPotentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
People are Nice
MalaysiaThis piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
casts
These are the Jokes, Folks. (First Attempt)This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
These are the Jokes, Folks II (Easy Jokes)
These are the Jokes, Folks. III (The offensive ones) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
These are the Jokes, Folks. IV (The "dirty" jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
These are the Jokes, Folks. V (The Jewish ones) If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Lucky...?
Rabin...This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
My FamilyI'm sorry, but I can't put this up on the internet.
Charlie
Gambler
Girlfriends
Hot Taxi
Thanksgiving
Russian Girl This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Avraham and Sarah This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...This piece has choice words and ideas that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Should've Been Heaven This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Philosophical Hoar This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Two Years, Eh?... This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Kike This piece has choice words and ideas that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
Square 1 If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Ami Stayed Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
My Trick Failed This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Finger on the forehead
Army i- Rousseau
Army ii- Jelly Donuts
Army III- Cartoon
Getting screwed and lost...taxis, and buses
Shotgun shells
Kidnapped Potentially offensive to B'nei AkivaThis piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
I could not even begin to explain the situation... Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
A kiss is but a kiss This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Girls!!!
A tale of four bus driversPotentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Gemorah This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Snow
What a yearThis piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
This Yeshiva I'm on...Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Bongs
Where's Midvale?
Birthday Hike
Drinking
Communism Gas Masks Potentially offensive to B'nei AkivaThis piece has choice words and ideas that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
Beamers Jokes Folks IV Drew This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...If your not Jewish, this may be over your head. These are the Jokes, Folks VII. (Racist Jokes)This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has potentially very offensive material. West BankThis piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Absolute Zero If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
happy If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
English English This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
sword
M16
Jerusalem Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Rude Man Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
1776 1876 Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Mah? anachnu tipshim? Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Shabbat Zachor...et ha Keseph If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Purim If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Black JacketIf your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Tel Aviv
These are the Jokes, Folks VIII. (Jokes for the Folks Back Home)
Pissing off Yussie
Hand Washing Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
These are the Jokes, Folks IX. (Sexual Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has potentially offensive sexual material.

 Chamudie's HousePotentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Loins Getting Drunk This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
What the F%@^ Happened to My Case? This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, or has potentially offensive material.
An Apology? Potentially offensive to B'nei Akiva
Tomatoe Plants
Vegard
Yom Hashoa If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Jubilee
Rape
Bat Mitzvah
Stupidity ContestIf your not Jewish, this may be over your head.This piece was insulted by a few people, you may have problems with it...
Leaving
These are the Jokes, Folks X. (Sexual Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and or sexual material.
These are the Jokes, Folks XI. (Political Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and or sexual material.
These are the Jokes, Folks XII. (Jewish Jokes) If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and or sexual material.
 Legitimate Paranoia
5 Months Pregant
Telling People Off
Shavuot If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Goldenberg If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
These are the Jokes, Folks XIII. (TameJokes)
øùò - òí ø÷äIf your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
These are the Jokes, Folks XIV. (Sexually Offensive Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and sexual material.
 Alliya If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
Tap on the shoulder If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
These are the Jokes, Folks XV. (Offensive Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and sexual material.
 Sarah II-Joshua. If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,536. (Offensive Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and sexual material.
 Depression
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,537. (Offensive Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and sexual material.
 -----
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,538. (Sexual Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and sexual material.
 Why do people move here? If your not Jewish, this may be over your head.
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,539. (Sexual Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and sexual material.
 Am I Cursed?
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,540. (Sexual Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and sexual material.
 Dear Miss Manners:
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,541. (Political Jokes) This piece has choice words that I would not repeat in front of women or children, and has offensive, and sexual material.
 Shalom L'dorot
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,542. (Tame/Clean Jokes)
20,000 NIS ad
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,543. (Tame/Clean Jokes)
20,000 NIS ad part II
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,544. (Tame/Clean Jokes)
Alan
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,545. (Tame/Clean Jokes)
Ba'al Teshuva
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,546. (Tame/Clean Jokes)
Getting Into CollegeI'm sorry, but I can't put this up on the internet.
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,547. (Tame/Clean Jokes)
Ulpan Videos
Journal Usage
These are the Jokes Folks 1,056,548. (Tame/Clean Jokes)
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