a few things that happened to me a long time ago.
I fell down real hard last week.
Greg and I went to the Shelter and I took a flying leap onto his back only to have him take 3 steps and collapse. Very nice… I ended up with a fat purple chin, a scrape under my right eye, bruised up knees and scars across my hand… Then to top it all off Greg ends up beating the hell out of some freak at the City Club.
Greg was so trashed that he couldn't even walk. He pulled the emblem off of someones car and the freak was not happy. He started pulling Gregs hair, and spitting on him and yelling about how he was going to kill him. Greg just sat there and took the whole thing when all of a sudden he started whaling on this guy. He beat his ass to a bloody pulp.
Now normally I would not like this sort of thing, but Greg tried to apologize and the freak wouldn't have it. There was blood everywhere. Greg hit him with the emblem in his hand to make it even more gory than what it was…. Damn. I screamed at his friend to break it up but he had some warped idea that his friend was holding his own. So here are these 2 beat up white kids just looking to have a good time and what happens???
I wont be going to the City Club for a good long while.
Gosh… trouble finds us… my mom says we are 2 of a kind and that we shouldnt hang out!
Nate showed up at my house at around 7:30, I was just about ready for my night with Dr. Dirty.
Now for those of you who dont know, Dr. Dirty is a singer by the name of John Valby. He takes nice wholesome songs and makes them dirty. For some reason, women are compelled to get on stage and pop their tops or moon the crowds. Valby calls the women bitches, sluts, and the like and they love it. And now on with the story....
We set out on the road and Nate made a concoction of Seagrams wine coolers and Rum. Very tasty. We stopped at Rallys and Nate got some chow (I should have gotten some too, but that will unravel later). We get to the Valby show and Im feeling a little tipsy already. I saw a few friends who work at the State (the dance club/ concert venue), it was nice. The setting was a sold out State theatre with the main floor being round tables that sat 10 people at them, Valby is on stage with only himself and a piano. We introduced ourselves to the crowd and make cracks about who was going to get on stage and pop their tops first. The man/ women ratio had to be about 40/ 1. It was definately a "guys night out" event.
We listened to the first set and laughed and laughed. It then came to the part of the show where he rhymed the names of audience members.... hey la dee daa da he la dee daa, I know a girl her name is (then the crowd yells out a name) and he rhymes something real sick and perverse with it. Well, the guys at our 3 surrounding tables were up on chairs yelling AMY AMY AMY. But it didnt work... Valby never rhymed my name. Between sets women get on stage and have Valby sign their butts or tits with spotlights shining on them. I opted for my belly. I went up and Valby signed it and then gave me a smooch and tried sticking his tongue down my throat... ooohhh yummy, blah. As I walked away from the stage I got hi fives from about 30 guys.... They kept asking to see my tummy too. When I showed them the surrounding tables would go crazy.... it was really weird. So I get back to the table and the people at the surrounding tables were coming up asking to see it as well... we were all having a good time.
The lights dimmed and the show started again. Valby asked for some women to get on stage and the surrounding tables of guys decided I should go. I was dragged up on stage kicking and screaming along with about 7 other girls. The other girls started to take off their clothes almost immediately. It was frightening. I was just laughing and dancing and that sort of thing. We then sang a song with Valby around his piano. I took it upon myself to steal his beer! Ha! So Im up there just sort of goofing around like Im going to strip and flashing my now autographed belly. Everytime I made a reach for my clothing the crowd went wild. This may have had something to do with the other girls being a bit overweight and not that pretty. I finally made my way off the stage and everyone was hi fiving me, very odd.
During the second set I finally got my name rhymed, TWICE. The first being... I know a girl her name is Amy, hey la dee da da, Id fuck her but youd have to pay me.... or something like that, I don't remember the second. Anyhoo, I was now a celebrity.... the crowds cheered me as I walked to the bathroom later on in the night. Everywhere I went people asked to kiss my stomach.... It was a night to remember, or actually maybe not.... Its quite a blur you see.
So we get there and its like 8:00, we set up our tent, get situated and set
off for the beer store. We arrived at the beer store (in Canada you can only buy
beer at a government beer store, and liquor at a government liquor store). It
was 9:15 when we got there, on a Friday night, and the beer store closed at
9:00. We were bumming bad. Anyway, we decided that it would just be an alcohol
free night, until....
We got to the campsite and Nate had no idea that I packed an extra cooler with
wine, strawberries and whip cream. We had a very nice night!
Then.... on Sunday night. Nate and I had just finished eating and he told me to
hurry up and come with him. I asked him where and he said just hurry up, come
on. We started walking and he says you go back to the campsite and get the towel
and Ill meet you right here. We crossed the street and went to this cliff that
overlooked Lake Huron and watched the sunset.... How nice is that??
Then of course there's the story about Puking and knocking someone out of their
chair for making fun of me for hiccupping and telling these Canadians that they
were bitches that were not welcome at our fire and to go home. But the other
stories are nicer.