There's something I want parents of school-age children to think about this summer while their little darlings are running around on the loose.

I want parents to think about their child's attitude towards his or her teacher and the school attended and how the parent will handle any conflicts the child may have with either the school or the teacher.

The thought that some parents might want to rethink their own attitudes or even "have their heads examined," as the saying goes, occurred to me after talking with some teachers recently.

One teacher, "Mary," mentioned that she was on her way to a parent-teacher conference and was really dreading it. She'd already spoken with the parent on the phone and knew that the meeting would not be pleasant.

"Mary" explained that she had seen something a 14-year-old boy had written in another student's (a girl) yearbook and had confiscated the book and reported it to the principal. "Mary" explained that what the young man had written was a very explicit request for a certain sexual act.

The school administrator called the parent and informed her of the problem, the parent then called "Mary," told her to mind her own business and demanded a conference with her and the school's principal.

"Mary," admitted that she felt a little amazed at the parent's reaction. The woman's son had broken not only the law (writing unsolicited remarks like that is a form of sexual harassment and illegal) but also a strong societal taboo. It's not considered "nice" that a 14-year-old boy even knows such sexual acts exist much less give another student written instructions on how to perform it.

On top of all that, the student had been caught red-handed. It seemed to "Mary," that the parent should have been upset with her son instead of trying to cause trouble for someone who was only doing her job.

"Mary," then asked a very good question: How is this young man ever going to accept responsibility for his actions and own up to his mistakes, if his parents keep shuffling the blame onto others when the kid makes a mess of things?

And that is what I want parents to think about this summer. Do they see themselves in this situation? Do they see their own attitudes reflected in the way this one particular parent reacted to her son's very bad behavior?

Isn't a main job of parenting -- besides putting a roof over the kids' heads, food in their mouths and our wallets in their hands -- to raise them to be responsible adults?

How much of society's current problems with out-of-control youth can be attributed to too many parents not making their child responsible for their own actions? A fair number, I would say, and it's going to get worse if some parents don't give it some hard thought this summer.

Another example of how parents' own attitudes my interfere with their child's academic career is reflected in what one parent said when her daughter failed history: "Oh, that's okay," she said. "That's not something she's ever going to need when she grows up."

Well gee whiz, if that's the case, why don't we just fire all the history and social studies teachers right now? Shoot, if we don't have a good reason for children to learn history, then those teachers are just taking up space and wasting tax dollars.

But you see, we "do" have a very good reason for making children learn mankind's history, and it's best said in the old adage -- what goes around, comes around!

That's right, people! Teaching children history is "not" a waste of time. It's one way to ensure that hopefully one generation will not make the same mistakes prior generations did.

And to paraphrase another old adage, "to know where you're going, you first must know where you've been."

Good grief, how will young people ever understand why it is so important to exercise their civic responsibility and vote in local or national elections if they don't know the "why" of how this country began or how it has developed since that beginning?

And what would these parents replace the history classes with if they were taken out of the schools? What kind of knowledge do they think their children will need to prepare them for their adulthood?

I guess we could fill all those empty classrooms vacated by those wastrel history teachers with employment preparation classes.

That is, of course, if parents deem the development of a work ethic a necessary ingredient in the building of their child's character.

We've already discussed that at least one parent doesn't think that a moral character is important, and how another doesn't believe that civic responsibility is important -- I'm sure there are parents who don't mind the rest of us supporting their child with our tax dollars forever either.

But, to quote another old saying, "man does not live by bread alone." History classes, besides teaching children what mistakes to avoid and lessons in civic responsibility, also gives them a sense of culture.

It exposes children to mankind's greatest achievements down through the ages. The great pyramids of Egypt, the Parthenon, Cat o's and Cicero's speeches, the hanging gardens of Babylon, some of the best and brightest the world has produced -- are also a part of the children's history lessons.

So people, let's get it together this summer and really think about where we want our children to go. They're only kids, remember and cannot do it by themselves -- it's our job to provide a little guidance along with the cash, food and a place to crash.

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If you would like to drop the author a note about the article please email to deborah@ipa.net

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