It’s Friday Feb. 23, 1990, and Carla asked if it would be ok to go and visit a friend in Newfield, NY. ‘‘I won’t have time tomorrow, my boss wants Saturday off, and asked me to swap days with her.’’

We had planned to go shopping for a larger car for her because she normally went in to work at 3:00 a.m., we could still go and shop for it Saturday, but it would have to be after we had lunch in the afternoon. But instead she had agreed as a favor to her boss to work Saturday. This is what prompted our discussion about changing previous plans to shop for a bigger car the next morning.

Carla worked for Continental Airlines in Ithaca less than six months before a head on collision rendered her ‘‘brain dead and comatose’’. Before starting her new job, I helped Carla buy a used 1983 Ford Escort. Though proud of her little car, on that fateful Friday afternoon Carla asked, ‘‘Dad, do you still want to shop with me tomorrow for a bigger car?, I don’t feel safe in mine anymore.’’

I said, ‘‘yes Carla,’’ and we briefly discussed having lunch first, as it was customary for me to have it ready when she got home from work.

One of her friends at work also had Friday off, and she asked me if I thought it was OK for her to go to Newfield, and visit him. It was about 5:00 P.M., and I said it would be OK if she got back before 9:00. Neither of us thought that the storm predicted for later that evening would arrive before she got back. She gave me a big hug, and happily exited out the front door for what turned out to be the last time. Before reaching her car, she stopped and shouted back, ‘‘I will be home before 9:00 dad, do you want anything from the store?’’ ‘‘Pick up some beer,’’ I hollered back, which was out of character for me because I didn’t drink, but on occasion friends who visited, did.

The next time I saw Carla was in St. Joseph's Hospital in an area near the Operating Room. Someone asked me to identify a body covered almost totally with a white sheet. hanging lifelessly down the left side of the gurney was an arm with the hand mangled and motionless. The body lying there beyond recognition could not be Carla I thought, as I silently prayed.

Suddenly while still peering downward, a paralyzing jolt shot through my body. One of three rings on the blood soaked hand, was the birthstone ring Carla picked out at a Jewelry store in Puerto Rico. Our ship docked briefly about three days into a seven-day vacation cruise. It was early evening, so we only took time enough away from the ship to shop at one store.

Stunned and unable to completely grasp what was happening and not wanting to believe it, but knowing it was true because of visions I had of her accident many times over the past year. My most dreaded fears had finally materialized. At that moment nothing mattered except to find a doctor who could make her well again. She had to get up off that gurney and come back home with me. We recently made plans to sell everything and move away this coming fall and leave the painful memories that constantly seemed to haunt us, behind. It was only about a month earlier that Carla asked me to watch a television show emphasizing the undaunting pain inflicted by a family breakup. She had already sent for information about Virginia, and we had also discussed the possibility of moving near friends in Indiana, or Florida. My answer-phone still has messages on it for Carla from an airport in Miami wanting her to come down and work as a travel ticket agent.

She often voiced excitement over the possibilities that were open to us. She was encouraging me to take up creative or free lance writing as a profession so I could work no matter where we lived. Though tempted and considering it, I was dubious because of only having an eighth grade education.

My mind was flashing back and forth all over the place. At that moment, no concentration or clear reasoning was possible. A great deal of subject matter flashed through my mind, but none of it mattered or made any sense anymore. Carla was lying there and someone must do something to ‘‘get her up.’’

Additional surgery continued through the night and into the next morning. Doctor Kung a Neurologist, said there was no evidence of brain damage. Another Doctor told me she was living moment to moment. It was unclear he stated, as to what was keeping her alive. ‘‘She was dead at the scene of the accident,’’ he said. Dr. Marshall who just happened to be nearby, and State Trooper Ferguson, revived her while still pinned inside the wreckage of her car. An ambulance arrived late, due to the icy road conditions. With a coordinated effort, ‘‘Jaws of life’’ opened an area large enough to extricate her. Contrary to some reports I have since read, Carla was wearing her seat belt and shoulder harness. I believe her injury's would have been less severe had she not buckled-up. Sometime after hospital personnel wheeled her into the Intensive Care Unit, I left briefly to drive my brother Jim home. He accompanied me to the hospital the night before, and was badly in need of rest.

From the evening of February 23, 1990, to this moment, I never left Carla, except for very brief instances. Court Appearances, grocery and medical supply shopping made up the primary causes for my being away from her. Over the past two years, new arrangements allow me to be here with her at all times. Though Court Appearances continue, a nurses aid runs most of my errands and gets my groceries. Carla's good health, wonderful smiles and emotional improvement, is attributed to the fact that she’s ‘‘home.’’ Can anyone say what I did for Carla wasn’t proper, and/or, in her best interest?

To this day, Marjorie is unable to discuss and make decisions that involve Carla. She and/or, her family and friends, do however, have an intense propensity for Hot Lining me for improper care of Carla. Without question, the agencies are aware of her past history of creating problems for us, but the law dictates that any complaint "will be" investigated. Honorable Judge Samuel J. Castellino previously cautioned Marjorie, and her attorney Roger Cooper, Esq. (also a Judge), to discontinue future harassment but it had little effect.  Carla's last Birthday was the last time it happened.   I answered the door to, "I am from the Adult Protective Agency." Unfortunately, confidentiality laws protect individuals capable of stooping to this level; thus placing law abiding citizens in a helpless, indefensible position, so I am displaying "True Affirmation & Horrors, of Carla Rae Sindelar." in hopes of bringing enough attention to the problem to cause legislators to update Adult Protective Laws, as they have Child Protective, and put an end to it.  I continue to seek assistance from any Person, or Agency of Government at any level, willing to make those changes in the law.  Many people including Carla, would benefit by it.