• Take the Oklahoma City bomb blast. CNN was there full time with its "Breaking News" coverage. All initial reports indicated that it was the work of people with "Middle Eastern appearances". That is an euphemism for Islamic militants. However, the FBI, etc, got their act together and flashed sketches of two white, males, "John Doe" 1 & 2, an investigation which is turning out right. One of the suspects, in a rash move, got nabbed for speeding some 60 miles outside the City. How come the FBI got to know about the arrest of Tim Mcveigh ? Simple. There is documentation in the United States, and because the violators of the law do not insert a fifty-dollar (rupee?) note in their driving licenses before handing them to the arresting cop. That’s why this johnny was easily caught. I ain’t kiddin !
• Take the homecoming of the Prime Minister from a hugely successful USA visit. The Islamabad-Rawalpindi crowd got a chance to go to the airport to heartily welcome the PM. The citizens of Karachi, Lahore, Multan, Quetta, Sukkur, etc were deprived of this golden opportunity. Well, the PPP units of cities which have airports, should have arranged something for those who really wanted to greet the PM. They could have gathered at the respective airports and the City PPP President should have come out of the VIP Lounge carrying the life-size photo of the PM and there would have been a great "ghaibana" welcome ceremony. Slogans in favor of the PM, PPP, and Pakistan would have been raised and people would have felt elated. I ain’t kiddin !
• Some cynics dramatize the issue of the F-16 planes by invoking accusations that some 200 million dollars were paid as kickbacks by the manufacturers of the F-16, General Dynamics. The reason the company is not coughing up the amount is the "non co-operation" of those who allegedly had a hand in the pie and are not returning back the cake they got for the deal.. What these critics do not understand is that the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act is on the statute books of the USA. In the early 70’s Lockheed got into trouble when reports about payments to the then Japanese PM, Tanaka San, were made public. That resulted in the passage of this Act. If GD really paid these 200 million smackers, they would have been in much hotter soup. I ain’t kiddin !
• The supremos of the two factions of the representative party of Karachi have both been pleading to the Chief of the Army Staff to intervene and save their members from destruction. This is a new phenomenon in vogue nowadays. No one is looking either to the President or the PM. In fact, why don’t these two factions sit down on a table of brotherhood and sort things out in the fraternal way. Mohajir to Mohajir. The results will be dynamic. I ain’t kiddin !
• A couple of months ago the Pakistani top diplomat in Bharat, Mr Riaz Khokar, was being interviewed on Doordarshan TV. Throughout the interview, he was denying the very existence of the word "Mohajir" and was reiterating ad nauseum that the word does not exist in the country’s lexicon. He expressed his utmost regret that the interviewers even thought that there was such a group or organization that related itself to the Mohajir community. This is strange, because the President regularly meets with the MQM top brass, the PM directs the Sindh CM to negotiate with the representatives of the Mohajir community, and even the COAS has met them. Besides, three Senators are still on the Senate rolls. How come High Commissioner Khokar does not know about it ? I ain’t kiddin !
• The new Federal Cultural Secretary, Rana Shaikh, was the brains behind a super-duper fashion extravaganza during the PM’s visit to the Land of Cosmopolitan and Women’s Wear Daily. Of course, there was this big bag of criticism against this venture. The damage-control guys in the PM’s Secretariat vetoed all plans of airing the program on PTV / STN because of the fear of adverse publicity. This further gave credence to the suspicions of the detractors. Anyway, how much business did the top designers of Pakistan conduct due to this hoopla ? How much money was really spent? Mian Habibullah, EPB head honcho, should hold a press conference and disclose whether EPB or Pakistani textiles got any mileage out of this adventure. I ain’t kiddin !
• Innocent and not-so-innocent investors and depositors have lost billions to the scams perpetrated by the investment companies and the co-operatives. Committees and more committees have been formed and the small investors have been promised relief. Somehow, nothing concrete is happening. The investors / depositors are advised to refrain from participation in any new, alluring come-ons that are advertised either on the media or thru word of mouth. They should play safe and invest in Government saving schemes. Prudence is the keyword. Do not go for the elusive pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. I ain’t kiddin !
• The much-ballyhooed FPCCI strike fizzled out because the "ring leaders" got cold feet and decided to ax all plans to carry on their own Tehrik-e-Nijat further. The Ministry of Commerce showed the red flag to the main organizer of the show by unceremoniously suspending him for three long years. Another person known as The Big Leader of the Small People has been eulogizing the Sindh Chief Minister ever since. He has been shown on PTV practically genuflecting before the CM. The "outlawed" Gang of Four is now no more in the driving seat of the Federation. The FPCCI is presently run by a team of novice leaders who are in the FPCCI more so because they have the wealth to "buy" the seat by paying the outstanding dues of the Association or Chamber that they presumably represent. One more colossal victory for the government. One more stab in the back of the business community by self-centered business leaders. I ain’t kiddin !
• The Commerce Minister is all set to bifurcate the present Chambers into Chambers of Industry and Chambers of Commerce. What an excellent and long-awaited move. There’s nothing that those business leaders who presently hold rein over the FPCCI, KCCI, and quite a few dummy Associations, can really do except watch from the sidelines. Hopefully, it will be the end of a dictatorial regime in the FPCCI, KCCI, G-77, etc, and sincere new, pragmatic leaders will take charge. I ain’t kiddin !
• Coming back to the Chambers and the Associations, the reason they are bloated and thus trying to exert their strength is because the Government made them them strong and heavy. Taking advantage of the rule that made it mandatory on companies to become a member of the Chamber or for a Trade Association, these organizations become sanctuaries for professional leaders, enabling some to become Little Caesars. The end result was the dominance of a few over the innocent businessmen and industrialists. These demigods were now in a position to cajole and coax the government functionaries to do their bidding. Today, the Ministry of Commerce has to use obscure articles of the Trade Organization Ordinance to cap the activities of these professionals. It is high time the Government took steps to curb these abuse of powers. The best way is to make it optional for companies to be members of Chambers and Associations. Furthermore, a thorough audit of the particulars of each present member of a Chamber or Association be undertaken by respectable impartial auditors to weed out the sham and dummy companies who have been made members by these professionals either for material gain or to have a perpetual grip on the organization. The Commerce Minister better act fast. I ain’t kiddin !
• A news item disclosed that the Speaker of the Punjab Assembly is contemplating the introduction of training courses for the legislators on parliamentary procedures. This is one step in the right direction. Most of these worthy VIPs have no notion of the subtleties of Parliamentary life. They have become adept at making a jalsa out of a somber affair. Sad to say, some of the Ministers and the Parliamentary Secretaries also are guilty of this mish-mash. Therefore, the idea of the Speaker is pragmatic. He should go a step further and teach the MPAs on etiquette, English language, and the manners of eating at a formal dinner, among other things. I ain’t kiddin !

There are many other points that can be discussed. There just isn’t enough space. I ain’t kiddin !