While browsing thru my e-mail, I came upon the following article which I then faxed it to all who are on my exclusive mailing list. I have this habit of sending items for the reading pleasure of my friends and colleagues. One of my seniors, Mr Maher Alavi, sent me his "Pakistany" version of the "American" item. First, the "original" version :

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Several years later, Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business. He left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. Some people saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When they asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" They declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live. "Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" they asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" they asked. "Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply... I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He had the same positive attitude in making a choice. First day, he was still recovering from his jet lag when KESC decided to "shut off" his electricity. Jerry was worried thinking that the "N" war was on ! He held his breath and with a smile decided to choose -- SUFFER ! He was sweating but not cursing, waiting patiently as we Karachiites do.

Second day, Jerry woke up with an urgent desire to use the toilet. He opened the tap to clean himself but it only gurgled. He had to use his attitude. He waited in vain and then wore his trouser with his "stuff" as we Karachiites do.

Third day, Jerry went out to see for himself the city of his choice. He had been told that in the good old days, the streets of Karachi used to be washed nightly but he had known and experienced just the day before that there was no water in the loo.

Jerry with his positive attitude went for a walk and suddenly he heard the sounds of firing. At first he thought that this was the delayed action of what he had assumed on the first day of his arrival. The WAR was really on. His positive attitude made him walk on when a bullet hit him. His positive attitude and past experience made him wait for the para-medics to come, but lo ! instead, an old Edhi Suzuki arrived, picked him up, threw him in this contraption called an ambulance and drove him to a stinking, broken down place he was told was the Civil Hospital. How uncivil, he mused. The doctors would not touch him for they waited for the police. Instead of a ‘burly’ nurse, an unshaven, uncut, illiterate man with his stomach putting to shame a nine-month pregnant woman, arrived with two assistants who were an epitome of bad manners. They asked him irrelevant questions and the moment they realized he had dollars, there was a gleam in their eyes for they wanted to extract the almighty dollars first before they would allow the doctors to treat him. Jerry’s attitude, by this time, was getting "soft" for how can an officer incharge of enforcing law blatantly demand "money". However, Jerry was a man of grit and wanted to prove his theory of positive attitude right. He gave the money to allow the doctors to treat him. No sooner had he done that, the doctor’s palm was open. How much ? or else, say your last prayers.

JERRY DID PAY BUT HE VOWED THAT NEVER EVER WILL HE PRACTICE HIS THEORY OF POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND THUS MADE HIS CHOICE HOW TO LIVE IN KARACHI !

Well, Uncle Maher certainly got the right scenario. In fact, if one even substitutes "Jerry" for a Pakistany expatriate, he/she will have the same attitude about life in Karachi, circa 1997 ! As the poet Iqbal Azeem remarked :

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NAUSHABA BURNEY

EDITOR

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