Subject: Atom Bomb Stamp Cancelled Digest From: funny@clarinet.com (Maddirator) A Postal Commision's stamp design, of a atmoic bomb mushroom cloud, has been cancelled by President Clinton. No one is acknowledging this continuing streak of violence by postal workers, either. The US Postal Service, bowing to pressure from many sides, including the Japanese and the White House, have dropped plans for a new stamp commemorating the dropping of the A-Bomb on Japan to end WWII. The Postal Service has announced their next stamp: an artist's rendition of former President George Bush vomiting on the Japanese ambassador. The post office will instead be producing two other stamps: "Rape of Nanking shows Japanese superiority" and "Comfort women ease soldiers' burden." ------------------------------------------------------------------- The following is a list of other planned stamps that are being abandoned. A stamp commemorating the assassination of President Lincoln. It depicted John Wilkes Booth's dramatic leap to the stage of Ford's theatre, and carried the caption "Sic Temper Tyrannis." Lincoln could be seen slumping in his box. A series of stamps with famous serial killers. This project was in jeopardy anyway, because Post Office policy is not to put living Americans on stamps, and what would a serial killer series be without Charles Manson? A stamp in honor of the extinction of the Mohicans, picturing a Mohawk, 'cause they have cooler haircuts. The Personal Hygiene series, which would have depicted the evolution of important-but-often-under- appreciated inventions such as deodorant and hair spray. A Stamp commemorating the decision by the framers of the US Constitution to count black slaves as 3/5's of a human being. A stamp showing Three Mile Island, with the caption "Meltdown Free since 83." A Series called Bad Moments in American Military History, to include "Valley Forge," "Picket's Charge," "Pearl Harbor," "The Bataan Death March," and "The Tet Offensive." The "Commonly Seen Roadkill" limited series was to have warned motorists of animals that may haplessly jump out in front of them. A stamp called the "Poor little rich county," originally targeted as a fundraiser for Orange County, CA. Other geographically educational stamps on the drawing board included: "Cleveland - The Mistake by the Lake," "Staten Island - NYC's Garbage Dump," "Detroit - Don't go out at Night," and "The NJ Meadowlands, Graveyard of Organized Crime." Bret Gorsline and Duke Robillard bretg@iscp.bellcore.com and duke@iscp.bellcore.com -- Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@clarinet.com (ie. jokes which won't be funny if not given immediate attention.) Anything that is not a joke submission goes to funny-request@clarinet.com