Subject: Teaching robbers to rob in an environmentally friendly manner Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2000 09:27:37 -0600 From: The Handyman Organization: Handyman, Farmer, and Horse Lover Newsgroups: sci.environment An editorial comment: Isn't it about time that robbers join the environmental crusade. After all, they have to live on the same planet as the rest of us, and they have to breath the same air, drink the same water, etc. Therefore the time is right that robbers become educated, and learn to rob in an environmentally friendly manner. Just like all other businesses, laws should be enacted, which mandate that robbers abide by certain guidelines that are geared toward keeping our earth a clean and safe place to live. Therefore, there must be changes enacted in the manner in which they conduct their business, and the tools that they use. To begin, they have to learn that using a standard (and for that manner, old fashioned) gun, is no longer acceptable. The gun powder used in these outdated relics contain toxic chemicals, which can be deadly if ingested, and are most definately smelly, if not harmful when they burn during the combustion process of firing the gun. This alone is cause enough to find another alternative, since guns using gun powder pollute our air, and does not even begin to take into account the fact that bullets contain harmful lead, and we all know the serious consequences of having lead in our environment. Therefore, it has been recommended that robbers switch to a much more environmentally friendly gun, namely the caulking gun. Not only will they be cleaning up our air, but they can participate in saving fuel used for heating our homes and businesses. Since any good robber will try to hide or destroy their weapon, after robbing the corner liquor store, what better way to destroy their evidence, than to unload the entire contents of their caulking cartridge, in some inconspicous place, like around the window and door frames of the store they just robbed. It only takes a few seconds, and will allow plenty of time to run, before the police arrive. In the process they will be helping the store owner conserve energy, and in the end, they will be helping save fuel for everyone. Another point to consider is that traditional guns kill people. While this in itself is not the greatest thing, the real issue is this..... When a person dies, a grave must be dug, and no one seems to take into consideration the amount of gasoline or diesel fuel needed to dig that six foot deep hole in the ground, which is quite substantial. By refraining from killing a person, in the course of the robbery, the robber will be saving a huge amount of fuel that would be needed to dig the burial grave. This fuel can then be used for something more important, like driving to a sports event, and we all know from watching the news, that there are lots of criminals in the sports world. With that in mind, what better place could a robber be, but at a sporting event, with others criminal types, like himself. Please pressure your public officials to enact these laws, and if you know anyone in the robbery business, please contact them, and pass this information on to them. This is strictly my opinion, and has not been inspired by any governmental authorities, political party, agency, conspiracy, religion, or other organization. Thank You for taking the time to read this, and for helping save out earth. REPLY: From: movant Organization: FlashNet Communications, http://www.flash.net Newsgroups: sci.environment References: 1 good idea. We could also ask legislatures to pass laws to make crimes against the environment "hate crimes." Anyone littering from an automobile could be charged with two crimes, depending upon their attitude. ie if they say "Fuck mother nature" when they litter, it could warrant a much harsher sentence. Likewise, when they kill someone, say a polluter in our midst , then they could get a lighter sentence. AND: The Handyman wrote: > > An editorial comment: > > Isn't it about time that robbers join the environmental crusade. > After all, they have to live on the same planet as the rest of us, and > they have to breath the same air, drink the same water, etc. Hi, Well lead bullets should be replaced with ones made from biodegradable natural wood. But cops must also become more environmentally friendly. Back in the 1960's the cops here in Madison were so eco-sensitive that they used only roll-on Mace against the student demonstrators. But now everyone is so 'yuppie' that the students insist that the cops use fresh ground pepper spray. ,,,,,,, _______________ooo___(_O O_)___ooo_______________ (_) jim blair (jeblair@facstaff.wisc.edu) Madison Wisconsin USA. This message was brought to you using biodegradable binary bits, and 100% recycled bandwidth. For a good time call: http://www.geocities.com/capitolhill/4834