IN UNPLAIN ENGLISH

Gobbledygook made easy.

If you have read "Sculpting Statistics" earlier on this page, you know 
how to create the facts you need. But that is not enough.  If you want to
be thought of as wise and articulate, a master of words, you must learn to 
Write to Impress. 

There is no need to carry a Thesaurus around, no need to delve into the
dictionary.  You merely need to use Philip Broughton's Systematic Buzz
Phrase Projector.  Broughton, a US Public Health Service official,
perfected articulation by the number system and gave us such phrases as
systematized reciprocal mobility (233).  Think of any three digit number,
then select the corresponding buzzword from each column.

0. integrated            0. management            0. options
1. total                 1. organizational        1. flexibility
2. systematized          2. monitored             2. capability
3. parallel              3. reciprocal            3. mobility
4. functional            4. digital               4. programming
5. responsive            5. logistical            5. concept
6. optional              6. transitional          6. time-phase
7. synchronized          7. incremental           7. projection
8. compatible            8. third-generation      8. hardware
9. balanced              9. policy                9. contingency

Think of number 277; that number produces "systematized incremental
projection," a phrase that will have the stamp of authority in nearly any
report or newsgroup post and make its author appear to be knowledgeable. 
"No one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking about," says
Broughton, "but the important thing is that they're not about to admit it." 
So what are you waiting for, a parallel digital time-phase? (346)