How to make a sandwich

begin
   get loaf
   prepare to chemically analyze it for traces of arsenic, 
     cyanide, etc
   if necessary equipment for above unavailable
   then 
      give to little brother/sister to taste
      if it clutches throat
      then
         take out life insurance for above mentioned creature
         buy new loaf
      else
         kick brat out of kitchen 
      endif
      proceed     
      if not worried about cholesterol 
      then
         fetch butter
      else if a little worried
      then
         fetch margarine
      else if very worried (ie, American)
      then
         go to eat:
      endif
      open butter/margarine packet
      spread above on bread
      look for jam
      if jam nowhere in sight
      then
         recall little brother/sister from grave/next room
      repeat 
         ancient Chinese tickle torture method
      until whereabouts of jam revealed
      fetch jam
      release hold of youngster's ears/nose/hair/etc
      open jam jar
      if jam jar jammed
      then
         fetch hammer
         open jar
      endif
      spread jam on bread
      stick slices together, using putty if required
eat:  while not burp
         munch
      endwhile
   endif
end

Dinoj Surendran @ 1995




Back to Dino's page



to Geocities