Now don't get me wrong, I'm greatful for my job, and it's a hell of a lot easier than a lot of other ones. But, being human, I've pondered the downfalls of my part-time profession, and have come to one succinct conclusion: when you're a cleaner, people never see what you do, they only see what you don't do. No matter how clean you get a place, there will always be something that someone can complain about.

One good thing about cleaning, however, is that it lets you into the invaluable insight that many people are pigs, and they just don't care. Case in point: have you ever had to clean shit off a toilet door that someone has obviously deliberately smeared there? It's not a bunch of roses. I am, however, fortunate in my work, as I clean in mostly respectable places. I have friends, however, who are not so lucky. (P.S. If you want to feel safe going to the movies, stop here).

One of my dear buds works at the cinema in our town. She has told me horror stories that I have never dreamed of. To start with, one night she was going about in her energetic way when someone informed them that there was a problem in the male toilets. A problem? It seemed as though one, or a group of, the dregs that live in that area had decided that it would be amusing to set the brand-new soap dispensers on fire. So they did. She and her compatriate succeeded in damping the flame, but needless to say, there were good old bars of soap in there for the next little while.

Our next story is not so amusing. She has told me that there is not a human bodily fluid that she has not encountered in her line of duty. And that means every bodily fluid. Blood (of more than one type), urine, vomit.... one particular fluid usually confined to the last few rows is a rare, but disgusting occurrence. She has assured me, however, that they rip those certain seats out and replace them, at no little cost.

Her most grisly find has to be, however, a little item she found after one session filled with screaming private school kids. Apparently, there were a group of 15 year old girls sitting in the front row, and when my friend ventured in there, relieved that the horde had gone, she found a used.... bloody... and recently removed tampon.

Don't ever let anyone fool you that private school girls are nice. Trust me, they aint no better than we state school rugrats.

So, in the end I go away counting my blessings that I do not encounter such grisly finds, (oh, except for the occasional life-threatening syringe), and content myself in the knowledge that my Sadie days won't last forever.

During my days as a cleaner, I have come to an insight on the nature of humanity. I have decided that there are basically 4 types of people in the world.

First, there are those people who will do anything to avoid a newly mopped floor. These are the saints.

Secondly, there are those who will walk on a newly mopped floor, but who apologize profously, truly sorry that they had to do so. These are the common nice folk.

The third type is sometimes hard to distinguish from the second. These are the type who will walk on your floor, and pretend to care, by saying something seemingly nice, but which usually has an undercurrent of sarcasm. These are the not-so nice folk.

Finally, there are those who really don't give a shit that you just spent the last hour mopping their floor, getting a sore back and red hands in the process, but who either merrily go about their business oblivious to the wet floor beneath them, or who notice but truly just don't care. After all, you are just the cleaner. These are the sort of ego-centric people that can really get under my skin!!!

There are, of course, variations within these categories, but I think that this is a basically correct approximation of the average type of office worker.

Note: why is it, do you think, that the factory workers seem to more often than not fit into the former categories, while it is more likely to be the office workers who fit into the latter?? Hmmm??