The male guide to female English

We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need black shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of black
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Yes = No
No = No


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