You know you've had too much coffee when ...
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're
parked.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You answer the door before people knock.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar
eclipse.
You just completed another sweater and you
don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during
an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten
feet away without using
the timer.
You lick your coffeepot clean.
You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell
House."
You're the employee of the month at the local
coffeehouse and you
don't even work there.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis
shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
