HOW TO GET OUT OF BED

begin
   while alarm ringing
      cover head with blankets
      imprecate the onerous noisemaker softly
      consider turning the damn thing off
      if feeling remarkably hyperactive
      then
         lethargically slither out of blankets
         sinuously stretch out arm
         sigh
         bang it to kingdom come
      else
         go back to sleep sweet sleep
      endif
      if hear name being called
      then
        see who it is
        if kid brother/sister
        then
           ready
           aim
           fire
           watch baneful clock execute a parabolic trajectory
            in approximate direction of youngster
           if target intercepted
           then
              ignore howls for Amnesty International
           else
              swear a thousand maledictions
           endif
        else if father
        then
            get out of bed hyper-quickly
            if feeling watched
            then 
               turn alarm off gently
            else
               kick alarm off gently
            endif
         else if mother
         then 
            scan her for arms, especially those prohibited by
              Geneva Convention
            if result is affirmative
            then
               begin negotiations
            else
               pretend not to have seen her
               increase snoring intensity
            endif
        endif 
	if feel something cold and wet being sloshed onto 
	  blankets
         then
            yell blue murder 
            get out
         endif
    endwhile
end      

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