Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your
boss is a different gender than you are.)

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these
names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to
disagree with you there, Chachi."

Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For
example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

"Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you
did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."

Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting
for your document.


Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for
lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the
meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.

Insist that your e-mail address be "zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com"

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries
with that.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the
direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker
and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try
to pass them off as your children.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the
fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can
catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom,
when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your
stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Insist that the title on your business cards say "Emperor."

When you throw something away always shoot for the furthest trash can you can
see. If you make the shot, jump around screaming that your going to Disney
World. If you miss, leave it.

Always take up at least two or three parking spaces, preferably the ones
marked "Owner, President, VP, or Employee of the Month."

Carry your lunch to work in a cooler marked "Transplant Team."

Only take your sunglasses off when you go outside.

Leave your unwanted junkmail in your co-workers in-boxes.