HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN 

   MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET NO. EC36C-24-36 

  

       " WOMAN" : A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS 

  

   Element:         Woman 

   Symbol:          Wo 

   Discoverer:      Adam 

   Atomic mass:     Accepted as 53.6 kg, may vary from 40 - 200kg 

   Occurrence:       Copious quantities in all urban areas 

  

   Physical properties: 

   1. Surface usually covered in painted film 

   2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason 

   3. Melts if given special treatment 

   4. Bitter if incorrectly used 

   5. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore 

   6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points 

  

   Chemical properties 

   1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones 

   2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances 

   3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known  

      reason 

   4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in

      alcohol 

   5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man 

  

   Common uses: 

   1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars 

   2. Can be a great aid to relaxation 

   3. Very effective cleaning agent 

  

   Tests: 

   1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state 

   2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen 

  

   Potential hazards: 

   1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands 

   2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained 

      at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct 

      contact with each other 

  

 WARNING: 

   PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL,

   AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE

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