Calgon's Ultimate Packing List

(well, hopefully - LOL)



What is this UPL thing all about?


This all began in the fall of 1999. While searching for information on a cruise, I found The Cruise Ship Center and Cruise@ddicts. Both are very informative sites and can be a great help to both novice and experienced cruisers. Of the two, I have found that the Cruise@ddicts forum is probably the better moderated of the two. Anyway, after "lurking" around the boards for a while, I finally began to join in some of the conversations. Many postings were centered around one question - "What should we take with us on our cruise?" Because of my extensive travel background, I soon found myself offering more and more advice on packing for a cruise.

To satisfy an ever growing demand for information, I scoured the Internet for packing lists. I began to compile a list of what a well-prepared cruiser would find handy on a typical, one week cruise. Eventually, The Ultimate Packing List (The UPL) was born.

As originally published back in 1999, The UPL was designed for a seven day cruise for two adults (well, one adult and one Calgon), and workjed fairly well for most warm weather cruise areas.

Further down on this screen you'll find links to four UPLs. There are both warm and cool climate UPLs for adults and children. One of these days I'll develop a couple more for infants and toddlers. Of course, it having been so long since SunFlower Star or I had any of those around, I'm going to have to do a bunch more research. So please stand by. This is definately a work in progress and your suggestions are ALWAYS welcome!

Throughout the growth of THE UPL, I’ve received literally hundreds of e-mails regarding its length. Many with statements along the lines of, “Calgon, you’re nuts! There’s absolutely no way I’d never take that much stuff on a vacation!” Please, let me emphasize, I am NOT recommending that you take absolutely everything on The UPL. I’ve included items I’ve found were either needed or helpful to SunFlower Star and myself; along with recommendations from many fine folks out there of what worked for them.

To customize The UPL for your voyage, cut and paste the UPL to your word processing program. Then, carefully go through the list and delete those items that don’t apply to you and yours; i.e., if you don’t wear eyeglasses … delete ‘em from your UPL. If you’re not going to be taking pictures … delete the camera(s), film and other photography stuff. If you don’t use deodorant … delete it from the list (but please, let the rest of us know which ship you’ll be on so we can change to another one!).

Now that you've deleted those items you're not taking, print your UPL and use it as a checklist, both as you are assembling your belongings, and as you are packing. When you have something from your list, place a slash in front of the item (__/__). When you actually place it in your luggage, a backslash (__\__) crosses the item off (__X__). (Oh Calgon, you are SO clever!!!!)

Included at the end of each UPL is a section explaining what some of the weird things are, why they’re included, and (on occasion) the culprit, I mean cruiser, who made the recommendation.

How to pack a suitcase -


OK. You're finally ready to start packing. First, put all pants, shirts or items that need to be folded on the bottom of the suitcase, in an unfolded position, with the legs, arms or dress hem hanging over the edges. Then you place your shorts, swimsuits, casual shirts and smaller items on top of them. Once the case is full, fold over the legs, arms, etc. over the other clothes. This will significantly reduce creasing of your clothes and you'll look that much prettier, that much sooner!

Don’t overlook the space in your shoes. Stuff them with socks, etc. Waste not, want not.

When you're finally done, use a big yarn pom-pom, bow, ribbon or various colors of electrical tape on the handle. Helps you locate your baggage much sooner. The original suggestion was to use a chartreuse yarn pom-pom. Personally, Calgon tries very hard not to use chartreuse anything. There are enough folks who suspect that he is not very tightly wrapped, without adding fuel to the fire. Now, maybe a large red "C" on the sides of the bags, in Duct Tape, of course!

Smuggling -

I've had many cruisers ask how to smuggle booze, soft drinks or even water on board. Many reasons are given. The predominant ones are: “The drinks cost so much; and besides, what I save I use to pay for the tips.”; or, “The ship doesn’t carry my brand”. Whatever your reason, I’m not judging. It’s your business. However, the general consensus among cruisers is: Don’t smuggle. No matter what you say, everyone believes you’re a cheapskate and only doing it to save money. Your savings will be minimal compared to your total vacation cost. Now, if you insist on going that route, try this: Put your third carry-on (the back-pack with the First-Aid Kit and your toiletries), and/or large camera bag in your largest suitcase. When you finish the air portion of your travel, remove them from the suitcase and fill the resulting space with whatever you're going to “smuggle”.

Now, on to some serious issues:

Security –


Since the tragic events of September 11th, 2001, security is finally getting to the forefront of people’s minds; especially when it comes to travel away from their homes. Airports around the world have significantly increased efforts to establish and maintain safety, and I, for one, say, “It’s about damn time!” Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Anyway, getting back to The UPL … The impact that all this has had on The UPL has actually been minimal. Primarily, I've relocated a few items from the carry-ons to the checked luggage, and have expanded the travel advice, as follows:.

Control your bags and personal items –


Do not accept any items to carry onboard a flight from anyone unknown to you. Report any unattended items in the airport or on an aircraft to the nearest airport, airline or security personnel. At the end of your cruise, your bags will be collected the night before your departure. That means they are going to be out of your sight. The ship’s security department will maintain control of your luggage on board; and Customs, Immigration, Port Authority, and Police will probably scan the bags before you get them back. However, I certainly recommend you checking them before leaving for the airport. The most important things you can do are: Lock your luggage; use cable ties; and, be situationally aware! It’s just as your parents always said, “If you’re going to err, err on the side of caution.”

Secure your suitcase -


The four reasons you really do want to make sure your suitcase is secured...

1)- To keep anyone from stealing your stuff. Very basic point. You worked hard to earn the money to purchase your things. And, I'm sure there was a lot of time, effort and money spent on selecting just the right outfit for the Captain's Gala. Why make it easy for it to "grow feet"?

2) - To keep anyone from using you as a drug "mule". Sounds like something out of Hollywood, but it does happen. When you are not looking, someone opens your bag and puts a package of drugs in it. They then notify their contact at your destination and provide a description of you and the bag. When you get to your destination, surprise ... your bag isn't there. This way, if the drugs are intercepted, they don't get caught, but you do. While you're awaiting the decision of the court, they're picking out another "mule".

3) - To keep anyone from using you as a terrorist "mule". Similar to the case above, except what is put in your bag is not drugs, or other contraband. It is an explosive. Ya know? Something like that can really ruin an otherwise good vacation ...

4) - To keep your suitcase closed. The last thing you need is your bag bursting open in the baggage handling area and spreading your "unmentionables" all over the concourse. Say, just whose boxers are those anyway?

In the past I recommended that you don’t rely on those flimsy little padlocks that come with most suitcases. Most thieves already have keys to them, and even if they don't, it's really quick and easy to snap one off. That recommendation still stands. I fruther suggested that (if you had soft-sided luggage) you use cable ties. These are those little nylon strips that self-lock. You can get them at any hardware store. Run them through the lock hardware on your bag, pull tight and trim off any excess. I have now revised that suggestion. For the air portion of your travel, get TSA locks. You can get them at most of the better luggage stores. They have the advantage of keeping your stuff secure, while allowing authorized inspection by TSA personnel. If you can't find them in your hometown, they are (generally) available at most US airports. Additionally, there are a lot of sites where you can get them on-line. For ground travel, my original recommendation stands. use the cable ties. No, they won't prevent someone from getting in, but they will make them really have to work to do so. Remember, time is your friend and their enemy. Cable ties will delay them!

The bottom line is this ; Keep yourself and your stuff safe!

One final note on luggage security - If, at any time you suspect that someone has been in your bag without permission ... do not investigate it yourself (((KABOOM!))). Put your tax dollars to work. Contact an official and let them check it out. An additional advantage is that, if nothing else, at least, your fingerprints won't be on anything they shouldn't be.

Allow yourself extra time –

Heightened security measures require more time to properly screen travelers. Contact your airline to find out how early you need to arrive for check-in. Then, give yourself an extra 30 minutes, on top of that. If you need the time, you have it. If you don’t, read a book. You’re on vacation. Relax. Don’t allow yourself to be rushed for anything but an emergency.

Airport Check-in –

A government-issued (federal, state, or local) photograph identification (ID) is absolutely required. Each traveler must be prepared to show ID at the ticket counter and subsequent points, such as at the boarding gate, along with an airline issued boarding pass. Curbside check-in is still available on an airline-by-airline basis. Contact your airline. E-ticket travelers should check with your airline to make sure you have proper documentation. Written confirmation, such as a letter from the airline acknowledging the reservation, may be required to pass through a security checkpoint.

Security Checkpoints -

Security checkpoints are at the entrance to every concourse and you will have to be screened before going to your gate. At some airports, you may find additional checkpoints have been established. Please bear in mind that the intent is not to cause you unnecessary "hassle", it is to ensure your safety. In addition to security checkpoints, you may be subject to additional screening at the gate. Cameras and electronic items (such as laptops and cell phones) may be checked to ensure that they are what they appear to be. Be prepared to let the screener use your camera to take your picture; remove your laptop from its travel case so that each can be X-rayed separately. Limit metal worn on (or in) your person and clothing. If possible, cut back on the piercings and don’t wear the silver stud motorcycle jacket during your travel. Remove metal objects (such as keys, cell phones, wallet chains, change, etc.) prior to passing through the metal detectors to facilitate the screening process. Putting metal objects in your carry-on bag will expedite this.

The following items ARE permitted in aircraft cabins –

Immediatly after 9-11 there were numerous horror stories (urban legends?) regarding air travelers arrested for possessing eyelash curlers, and other weapons). Although many of these reports have failed to be substantiated, there have been cases where over-zealous Security Screeners may have over reacted. As things became more stable and standardized guidelines have been implemented, the number of these incidents have drastically reduced. Now, even though the U.S. Department of Transportation Security Agency (TSA) and the Federal Aviation Authority (FAA say the these are allowed, there may well be some airlines, which may not want to let you on their aircraft with them. Rather than risk having to go through all the hassle of arguing with the person; there is an Army saying that comes to mind ...

"Arguing with an Infantryman is like werstling with a pig.
You both get filty, but only the pig enjoys it!"


So, with that lovely image in mind, I recommend that, unless you absolutely have to have any of these items, in your possession, while traveling, that you relocate them to your checked baggage.

Eyelash Curlers Nail Files
Canes Cartridge Razors
Crutches Syringes *
Insulin Delivery Systems * Tweezers
Nail Clippers (w/attached files) Umbrellas


* - Make sure your medications are labeled, and that you have a copy of your prescription handy.

Items PROHIBITED in aircraft cabins –

The following items WILL NOT be allowed through security checkpoints. If you are taking them on your cruise, they absolutely and positively must be in your checked luggage. In addition, there may be other administrative type procedures you’ll need to follow. Please check with your airline before showing up with your skeet gun. Please note that this list is not all-inclusive. I’ve reduced the information provided by the TSA to those items a normal traveler would/could carry (then again, who ever said that cruisers are “normal"?). In addition to items specifically listed here, other items that may be deemed to present a potential threat may also be prohibited (so, leave the cattle-prod at home). Also, check that your jewelry does not meet the standards of ‘prohibited items’, i.e., motorcycle drive chain belts, hat and some hair pins. No bullet shaped roach-clips, no funky razor blade shaped charm on a necklace, etc. Be aware that there are no provisions for returning banned items when they are left at the security checkpoint. In addition, if you attempt to bring banned items through the checkpoints you are subject to civil penalties of up to $1,100 per item, in addition to hefty court and legal fees, and “other” criminal penalties (that’s spelled – P-R-I-S-O-N). This is a very serious matter.

DO NOT TRY TO KID AROUND ON THIS ONE. SECURITY HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR AND YOU WILL NOT WIN!

Now, as you review this list, and before you start laughing, please bear in mind that someone, somewhere actually tried to carry these things through security checkpoints. That’s not the amazing part. What baffles me is that these escapees from the gene pool couldn’t understand why they were being arrested!

Firearms/Projectile Weapons
(rifles, shotguns, pistols, slingshots, paintball and spear-guns)		 Toy Weapons
(toy guns, light sabers, and those Transformer ® thingies that unfold into something that looks like a weapon)
Knives of any length
(SCUBA, religious, pocket kinves, hat pins, "chopstick" style hairpins, knitting needles, corkscrews, long nail files and scissors with sharp tips)		 Razors
(straight, razors with removable blades, and box cutters)
Chemical Sprays
(OC resin, Mace, tear gas, pepper, dog repellent, etc.)		 Shocking Devices
(stun guns, tasers, cattle-prods, etc.)
Tools
(long wallet chains, Leathermen ®, Laser Pointers, etc.)		 Sports Equipment
(Golf Clubs, tennis rackets, fishing poles. etc.


Number of Bags-

I suppose the best recommendation I can offer, for those doing an air leg before/after a cruise, is check with the airlines to determine exactly what is, or is not allowed regarding baggage. Most passengers are allowed one carry-on, one personal bag (a purse or briefcase), and two pieces of checked luggage. If you exceed these allowances, you’ll probably have to pay a surcharge, but even that is cheaper than shipping or mailing your luggage.

Many of you will want to use carry-ons to safeguard against late delivery of your luggage to your cabin. In The UPL I recommend three (3) carry-ons for two adults. This is not meant to imply that you need three carry-ons for the air portion of your travel. The chances of an air passenger getting on a plane with more than one carry-on bag are somewhere between slim and none. You’ll probably get away with the fanny-pack, walkman, game-boy, etc., in addition to your “official” carry-on bag, as long as they are small, you can wear them around your waist, and you don't draw atention to them. Most airlines limit each carry-on to 9"x14"x22" and between 40 and 70 pounds. Excessive numbers of air carry-ons inconvienence other passengers. Oversized/overweight carry-ons are a safety hazard. In addition, it's just plain rude.

For the air portion of your travel:

His Hers Checked Baggage
One Fanny Pack One Fanny Pack Two Suitcases
One Carry-On (Calgon Bag) One Carry-On Garment Bag
One Camera Bag (on belt) One Walkman (on belt) Golf Clubs


As you transfer to the ship:

His Hers Checked Baggage
One Fanny Pack One Fanny Pack Two Suitcases
One Carry-On (Calgon Bag) One Carry-On Garment Bag
One Carry-On (Back-Pack) Large Camera Bag (if used) Golf Clubs
One Camera Bag (on belt) One Walkman (on belt)


OK gang. Thanks for your patience. Here are the UPLs -

The warm climate version is for adults, and works fairly well for the Amazon River, the Caribbean, Mediterranean, Red, Arabian, Coral, Tasman, Philippine, South and East China Seas, the Gulfs of Guinea and Mexico, the South Pacific and Indian Oceans.

The cold climate version is the other adult UPL and is geared more toward Baffin and Hudson Bay, the Baltic, Barents, Beaufort, Bering, Black, Caspian, Chukchi, Greenland, Laptev, North, Norwegian, Okhotsk, Scotia, Siberian, Weddell, White and Yellow Seas, the North Atlantic, North Pacific and part of the South Atlantic Oceans.

For young people (teens and pre-teens) try the warm or cool climate UPLs.

Now, even with all of my alleged "experience", I could never have accomplished this alone. As cruisers read The UPL, they began sending in suggestions for additions. I have received a wealth of feedback from a lot of wonderful folks out there. So, in a way, this is all YOUR fault! Your encouragement has become empowermentr. My deepest, special thanks to the following nefarious characters:

Travel Agents (nut cases who love this so much that they do it for a living!) -

Mark Doster, Mary Steils, Chris (Cruise Cynic) and Mano, Debora Ruemenapp, Steve Krosky, Julie McCoy, Pam Kane, Ken Stutt, Venus Windmiller, Mickey, Terry, Susan Pisani, nancy bogert, Salem Altoaish, Ken Stutt, Linda Coffman, Roxy83, Lori C., SD Chet, Kanewoman

Regular Crusin' Folk (and, no, I'm NOT going to alphabaet ... Apfleb ... alfabutt .. put you in letter order!)

Gail Johnson, Lois, Kathy, Lindsay Stadler, Michelle, Curtis Spielman, Sandra (Parrot Mom), Jackie Wake, Mary Jean Leahy, Candice Pink, Mark Riveria, Martha Berger, Kathleen Russell, R Richards, Darlene Herman, Bobbi Driscoll, Jane Domenico, Debbie Bertone, Elsa, Kent, Jim & Sherie Snead, Jennifer Clark, Deana Rosecrans, Cindy Garwood, Todd Cousins, Joanne, Lisa Crawford, Randy, Marion Carter, Sonja Norman, Cheryl Resendez, Jen Skaneateles, DW, Amy Summerfield, Barry E. Burke, Nacny Stefani, Marla Fisher, DeeAnn, Michael Corey, Wes and Barb Carter, Ketch & Jo, C. (Possum) Brown, Susan G. Knippel, Murray (The Murman) Smith, (Ich Bin), Kelly Siak, Gloria Juhl Raney, Jeana, Katie Andrews, Kathy DeManss, Sue, Jim & Candy, Rosemary, Andy & Geri, Alice, Debbie Finney, Marci, Kelly Knight, Lisa Pellmann, Anne G. Ivy, JohnH SoCal, KruzinKat, Tow Zone, Anne G Ivy, JohnH SoCal, KruzinKat, Tow Zone, Jay Snyder, Joanne C. Ryan, Connie Land, Terry M., (Nevi Boy), Judy, Linda Garman, Lisa, William & Kristin Moyer, (M. R.), Jan, Helen Sternheim, Mary Ann, Debra, Marjorie Beck, Beverly Rousey, Denise G. (Nieciez) Zlater, Sandy, Cindy Sesso, Don & Mary Lowell, SpiderWeb (?), Susan Miller, Andy Foisy, Jason Simonds, Linda White, Sherry, Catherine Jardine, Lori Colborne-Barry, Eleanor, Yvonne, Hank Ebert, Thomas Dillon, Harry and Suzy-Q Rudisill, Ghislaine Gagne, Pam Kane, Nelson & Donna Martinez, Kathy and Jack Alber, Craig Sterling, Gayle & Vic, Maureen Schomaker, Harriet Williamson, Tom and Shara, (RedCrown), Karen Towers, Patricia Aprigliano, Alberto Delaroca, Frank Black, Tammy, Heather (Luv2kruise), Geo, Mary Ann, Dick and Danielle DeManss, Eric & Peggy Schreur, Lucas & August, Juliane Shaw, Mike Carter, Tammy, Michelle & Steve, Carole Bensley, Dall Barley, Ron Parisza, Janet VanDerSchaaf, C. Lawre, Lori Martini, Mary Goudiea>, Mary Thomas, John (Greauchene), Michael Ives, Nancy (Crusin Crzy) Bevins, Michelle A. Brand, Patricia Aprigliano, Bethany Sterne, Alesia, Eydie, Rob and Deb Michalski, Jamie, Diane Robbins, Jim, Lynn Handville, Anne Ivy, Theresa A. Morin, Mia D'Angelo-Thomas, Diane Earl, Geoff Tucker, Dave & Heather, Debbie, and many, many others ...

Final points-

Leave your pager turned off and at home. Cell phones are on THE UPL for emergency use only! I'm talking about things like engine fires, being left on shore by local taxi drivers, contacting your attorney, etc. Other than those reasons, DON'T USE THEM! This is supposed to be a vacation. If you are absolutely and totally possessed of an overwhelming urge to impress someone, check out Calgon’s Natuical Dictionary.

Don't forget to put a copies of your completed UPL in each suitcase (and in your fanny packs). This may help you find a certain item without having to unpack everything. Also, if (God forbid) a bag does get lost, you'll have a better idea of exactly what you are missing. This could come in handy when it's time to file your insurance claim(s).

When everything has been packed and think you're finally ready, take out half the clothes, return to the bank and draw out twice the money, and

DON'T FORGET THE Duct Tape


Please send your additions to: Calgon1@Yahoo.Com. If it's something "weird", please explain. Also, I have referred to various products by brand or company name. I am not trying to advertise for any company. I mentioned things which worked for SunFlower Star and myself. If you have alternatives, great! Use what works for you!

Again, we hope you have a fantastic cruise, the galley has a never ending supply of lobster, the sun always shines, the moon is always full, the seas are calm and it only rains when you are asleep. Write and let us know how things went.

BON VOYAGE!!!!!

Calgon and SunFlower Star
Calgon1@Yahoo.Com



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