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"A Piece of Kitausu's History"
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She leaned back against the large pillows that had been discovered in here as well. She had removed them from the casing two days ago so that she could rest her back. Medatative positions were not comfortable forever. She had found the Rumarie festival and the reasons for it. The practices, ceremonies and the special foods and even the ancient wording for the text that was to serve as the invitation.
She was also hungry. She picked up the final volume and stood unsteadily. Food was a necessity now. She shut off the low burning torch and headed out towards the dining hall. She continued to read as she walked pausing occationally to check her direction and to turn a page. She was just more thaan half way through the book for the second time.
She entered the dining hall and ordered her breakfast. The volume was held under her arm as she carried the tray of crepes filled with fruit. A Human meal that she often enjoyed.
She opened up the volume and placed it on the other side of the tray slightly propped up as she continued to read and eat.
"Well she has found her way out." Salatrel stated as she placed her tray down. She had surprised the Vulcan only marginally. Her hand went to the back of the Vulcan's neck and she leaned down and kissed her good day. She took her place beside T'Aitlu. "What has our very serious Vulcan found now?" She teased.
T'Aitlu sipped her tea. "I have found something most interesting concerning this ritual that was discovered. The Rumarie."
Salatrel lifted the cup of the Romulan equivalent to coffee, kafik. "And that is?"
"That before this place was abandon centuries ago it housed a craft hall similar to this." The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "But the kitausa at the time were all male. They felt that the woman would not be skilled at this or were too interested in warring to be interested in this." She paused only for a breath. "And to satisfy themselves twice a year, the Rumarie."
Salatrel nodded. "This is where the Riilan comes in correct?"
"Yes but it is supposed to have some interesting properties."
"And these are?" Salatrel had never finished the batch that she had been working on, too many other things had required her attention and after Vorik's reaction she had forbid him to go anywhere near then stuff.
"Apparently they found that the women were not always compliant with their wishes. No that is not correct..." she paused, the translation was not accurate, as she thought of a different phrasing. "...their appetites were not the same. None were bonded or needed to be and this Riilan served as an aphrodisiac as well as a hypnotic."
Salatrel smiled. "And these properties once mixed will only work on Vulcans."
T'Aitlu tilted her head slightly unsure of why Salatrel would arrive at that conclusion. "Yes. How did you surmise this?"
"Educated guess." Salatrel looked around her. "This is not something that we should discuss here." She looked to her t'hy'la. "Finish eating and then we can go to the office and discuss this at length, with some privacy.
******
"We should re-indroduce this ritual." Salatrel grinned. "With a few variations."
"Such as?" T'Aitlu was always wary of her suggestions.
"Not sure yet. We have to discover the effects this lubricant will have on the various races." She sat back in the chair. "We would not want an adverse reaction in the middle of the festivities."
"Logical." T'Aitlu had continued to read while the discussion went on.
"How were the females brought here?"
"By invitation. The males would chose either ones they knew of, some were mates and others would be chosen for their availability." She read through the text. "The females were aware of the reason for being here. They had to agree to this and the use of the lubricant was a hold over from the time when this was inforced. This way the females were compliant."
Salatrel recalled Vorik's reaction once again. "I can understand why." She sipped on the tea that had been poured. "How did it change to being all females then? And who was the TaskMaster then?"
T'Aitlu flipped back a few pages. "Here. The TaskMaster was chosen for the period of one year. But a novice was chosen at each festival." T'Aitlu lifted an eyebrow. "The Task... Master was a... Mistress." Her finger began to tap her bottom lip. "This does open some possibilities."
"M-m-m, yes it does." Salatrel sat forward. "Why did it change?"
"When the Reform came about, this became a secret sect. Then they began to have difficulty finding the females that were willing to come, most had become bonded or were so deep into the Kolinahr that they had no interest. The sect folded and this place was sealed." She closed the one book. The other was opened. "The Ancient one revived it. He asked in the beginning for anyone that was interested and found that the females were more skilled." She considered it for a moment. "He did not embrace the teachings of Surak."
Salatrel was surprised. "He didn't?" She recalled suddenly the conversation that Taurik and T'Aitlu were having a few days earlier as they were uncovering all of this. "You were here. With the Ancient."
T'Aitlu nodded her head. No one had ever asked about her beginnings and she had not offered it. The TaskMaster had found that she had no name and simply asked her to chose one. The Ancient had a policy that the identity that you had when you entered was not to be spoken about. After a time the information was taken from you. "Since I became of age to leave my home after my parents' death."
"The that explains why he was the one to revive it."
"In part. There has not been Vulcan literature of a erotic nature in some time." She closed the second book that she had, it was an accounting of how the SweatShop was set up by the Ancient. "I believe that he had seen a need for it and merely arranged for a place for the writers. According to the writings he did not have this in mind as it has become. This happened over time."
Salatrel smiled. "I would have liked to have met this Ancient." She smiled. "I suspect that he may have had some Rihansu in him."
"Some speculated that he was not... Vulcan."
Salatrel sat up a littel straighter. "You mean he was Rihansu?"
"It has been speculation only." She shook her head slightly. "It was never proven nor discounted."
"But you were here. You would know." She grinned. "Sarek was telling me that the kitausu used to be covered, to hide their identity."
"Yes, so that the writing was the offering and nothing more."
"But there was more offered was there not?"
"Some chose to serve the Ancient." T'Aitlu felt uncomfortable discussing this. "Can we return to discussing the Rumarie?"
"Later, let's go finish that lubricant." She moved around the desk. "We can leave Taurik and Vorik in charge for a few hours."
T'Aitlu picked up the books and followed as the arrangments were made.
******
The room had taken on a pleasant sent and had actually put most of the kei-dvinsu in a more positive mood... at least those that had ventured close enough.
The bottles that were going to be used to store this in had all been prepared and they began to pour them into the bottles.
According to the recipe once the catalyst was added the mixture would gel. In a cooler temperature it would become almost hard. It had taken on a greenish hue and was darkening as the mixture cooled.
The source bottles were all carefully replaced in the specially sectioned casing and then sealed. There were a few that had a very strong scent and some that had no scent at all. T'Aitlu had suspected that one of the unscented bottles contained pheromones and the one that had caused the reaction in Vorik, she suspected held the hallucinogenic.
T'Aitlu held the last of the squat bottles while Salatrel was pouring the last of the formula into it and the gel overflowed.
"I'll get a cloth." Salatrel stated as she put the mixing container down, as she reached for the cloth that had been left in case of spills. She handed it to T'Aitlu. Neither of them had given a thought as to the effect it might have on T'Aitlu. There was only a small amount on her hand and it wasn't warm enough to harm her.
T'Aitlu wiped up the excess gel. She noted that her skin felt warm where the gel had been. "It warms the skin."
Salatrel was curious and reached to touch the back of her hand. "Soft as well." She teased then looked to T'Aitlu. She did not look well or rather she looked flushed. "Are you okay?"
T'Aitlu had reacted to her touch. Her body began to react and she took in a deep breath. She must have wavered because Salatrel hung onto her hand then held her opposite shoulder. She wanted her to release the touch and continue it in a breath!
Salatrel watched as the Vulcan's eyes darkened and her face flushed then she swayed. She reached out to hold her steady then heard the low moan that came from her. "Are you all right?"
T'Aitlu heard her that time and had enough sense to breath in again as she moved from Salatrel hold. "Yes." She forced the word out. "Most interesting." She looked down at her hand then turned back to Salatrel. "Caution should be suggested when using it."
Salatrel had coated the back of her hand with a thin layer of the gel and felt only a mild light headedness. She looked to T'Aitlu. "Could the formulation be so specific that it effects only Vulcans?"
"It is within the realm of possibilities." She felt another wave pass through her. Total euphoria, something a Modern day Vulcan did not often feel and would most likely find disquieting.
Salatrel reached out her hand. "Do you want to sit down somewhere?"
"A logical... yes." She began to head towards the door then stopped and looked to Salatrel.
"I can not recall in which direction..." She sighed. "This is most disorienting." She looked down at her hand and the spot where the gel had landed. "Let them know that no Vulcans... should touch the gel."
Salatrel nodded then grinned. T'Aitlu was definately having a difficult time centering her thoughts. "You okay?"
T'Aitlu nodded slowly.
Salatrel stopped one of the kes-dvinsu and gave him the instructions. The small bottles were to be placed in the box and left, no Vulcans were to touch it. When asked why, Salatrel smiled. "We do not want to many Vulcans in this condition."
Salatrel moved to T'Aitlu's side and they began to walk down the corridor... slowly. They came to one area that would serve. Salatrel tapped her shoulder then indicated the door. "You can have some privacy until it wears off."
"Yes." T'Aitlu sat down heavily on the chair. She looked up to Salatrel. "Don't go."
"I have to let Taurik know where we are."
Salatrel was beginning to head out the door and she was pulled back in and the door was shut for her. T'Aitlu pushed her up against the wall and whispered something in her ear.
"Yontau, Salatrel." T'Aitlu whispered again. Her lips touched the other's face and then she paused to beath in her scent. "Hayal." She muttered to herself, she had to find the calm in all of this. "Hayal." She moved the fabric of Salatrel's gown from her shoulder. She shook her head, she was not finding the calm she needed. She felt as if she was watching from somewhere else. There was no control. There was no denying this. Her lips brushed her skin. "Abia zahv-tor.." She moaned then licked the Rihansu's shoulder.
Salatrel finally found her senses. This was not unpleasant but it did concern her. T'Aitlu was not one to be like this. "T'Aitlu?"
"Ah." She continued tasting her neck and then brushed her mouth against her lips. "Bru... yontau."
"T'Aitlu...?"
"Yes." She had answered and wanted to give her attention to this other person but she could not stop tasting or touching this one's skin. She needed more than this and she moaned deep in her throat.
Salatrel inhaled sharply as the Vulcan's warm hands began exploring her body. She was numb and was so surprised by this that she could not react. The Vulcan's hands had opened most of her robe and was now kissing and tasting her neck.
Marginally, Saltrel had heard someone come in, then T'Aitlu gasped. Salatrel opened her eyes and saw Taurik standing behind her, his fingers pressed against her face and was whispering something to her. Salatrel saw the calm come to T'Aitlu's face.
Salatrel drew in a breath finally. "What happened?"
Taurik guided T'Aitlu to the chair then remained close to her. "What was she doing?"
"We were mixing up the riilan. A small bit dripped onto her hand and she did not appear affected except she seemed preoccupied."
"And then this?" Taurik sat on the arm of the chair and was holding her hand. "We should check on the potency of this gel before we allow anyone to use it."
"How did you know.."
"She was projecting. I felt it and I was in the other end in the old library." He looked down to T'Aitlu, now somewhat asleep and calm. "Vorik has a headache and a few of the others had commented at how easy it has been to write. Nothing any more than that."
"Can you imagine what this place was like if only a small amount can effect her like that?"
"The quantity of the gel may not matter. It may be the initial dosage that causes the effect." He had spoken to his brother concerning the possible reactions on others.
Salatrel had moved her robe back into place and then shivered. As enjoyable as some time with T'Aitlu might be, under these circumstances it was... disquieting.
Taurik brushed her hair back from her face. "She will sleep now." He stood and moved to Salatrel's side. He lifted her chin slightly, "And you need something to drink and to relax for a few moments. I have tea and kafik in the office." He guided her out of the room noting that she tried to keep T'Aitlu within her sight. "Both of you need the seperartion. Give her an hour and I will come and check on her."
Salatrel nodded and then she was going to have a talk with her.
******
"Finally finished?"
"I would not have brought them to you had it not been completed."
"Sleeping well?"
"I am rested."
"And Taurik?"
T'Aitlu lifted an eyebrow. It was not like Salatrel to avoid an issue. "Explain."
"I understand that you find the TaskMaster's absence difficult but are you not substituting one dependency for another?" She had seen how both Vulcans were acting. "What will happen when he returns."
"What ever he wishes as it has always been."
"And what do you wish?"
T'Aitlu met Salatrel's eyes and held them silently for a time. "I wish this discussion to end."
"You can not continue this way."
"How ever I continue is for me to decide."
"You have not answered my question." Salatrel moved to stand closer to the Vulcan. "What do you wish?"
T'Aitlu drew in a slow breath, she looked to the opposite wall away from Salatrel for a moment. "What I want is irrelevant."
"But it is when it effects all of us."
"No one here can... " she stopped then swallowed. "I do not wish this to continue." T'Aitlu reached to the door and headed out as quickly as she could. She had pushed passed Taurik and only afterwards realized that he was there. She reached her chambers and closed the door.
She considered meditating for the length of time it took her think it and knew it would not help. She had also considered throwing something as the Humans were so fond of doing when under stress, but that would not solve the situation.
Salatrel pushed the door open and stood beside T'Aitlu. "I want to know."
T'Aitlu drew in a breath and as Salatrel watched had found the decorum and calm that she was always known to have. Unshakable, it had been whispered to be. She looked to her friend. "Why?"
"Because I want to help."
T'Aitlu looked to her sister-friend and drew in a deep breath then released it slowly. "What I wish is to have someone that is mine." She drew in a fast breath. "Not a muse. Not a Taskmaster that belongs to someone else. Someone that is solely mine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The repairs are not even noticable. I commend you on your abilities, T'sai." He gave each a quick inspection.
"It is an old skill." She poured the tea for the two of them then handed Taurik's cup to him.
His hand wrapped around hers as well as around the cup. He lifted the cup to his lips, took a swallow then took her hand in his. He placed his cup on the desk then turned his chair to face her. He paused then stood. She had worn her hair loose today, not tied back in any fashion. His fingers slipped into the silkiness of it then pulled her close, kissing her hard and passionately. "I find myself wishing ... that he does not return." His lips brushed her ear.
She calmed her reaction to his sudden movements. She rested her lips against he neck just above his robe. "Arie'nmu, Taurik."
"Mastery is for someone that does not wish to experience the pleasures." His lips brushed her neck right under her ear. "I wish to experience them." He clenched his fist in her hair and breathed in her scent. One more night then he would be sleeping alone. He released his hold slowly then stepped back from her. He drew in a deep breath and calmed the desire for her.
T'Aitlu reached for the small stack of books then turned and headed towards the libray to place them. She quickened her pace as she felt the tightness in her chest. She felt the first stiffled sob then bit her bottom lip. She welcomed the coolness of the old library and the memories it held for her. The quietness that used to be a part of her day and the secretive identities.
She leaned against the cool stone that made up one wall of the library. She drew in a breath, closed her eyes and reminded herself that she needed to meditate. But to find the solitude she required was to find a place that she would not be disturbed. She thought of the lower levels, the ones that are rarely used. She would collect her things after finishing this job with Taurik.
******
"Taurik."
He turned at the sound of his brother's voice. He looked to him tilting his head slightly. "Yes."
"Dreamland? I called you three times before you heard me." He moved in with some books in his hand.
"Vulcans do not dream."
Vorik looked to the floor. Taurik was in one of his moods again and that could only mean one thing, T'Aitlu. "If you say so." He lifted his head. "I stopped in to see if you had anymore books, I was heading to the reading rooms."
"No, T'sai took them." He looked around the room then sighed. "I am going to the dining room. I need the break." He moved passed Vorik and disappeared down the next hallway.
Vorik looked to the books in his hand. "Should have given them to him..." He knew where Taurik was heading and it wasn't the dining hall.
******
He chose a small plate of rice and vegetables with tea. He found the small out of the way table he favoured, then placed his tray down and sat in the chair. He liked this position, he could see the activities in the room, who was coming in and was not in an obvious place. He picked up the fork and began to fluff the rice. He picked up a mouthful continuing to 'play' in the rice. He put his fork down, took a sip of tea then leaned back in the chair. He sighed and wondered how he was going to deal with the situation when Selek returned. How would Aitlu deal with it? He wasn't sure it would return totally to what it had been. To find their place as it had been would be tricky.
A tray was slid onto the table and he looked up to its owner.
"Elvira." He bowed his head, to ask her to leave would not be good manners.
"My story is almost finished. Do you want to read it before I give it to the TaskMaster?"
"If you wish." He sighed and looked to the plate of food debating on just returning to the office to finish his work.
"I missed you being in the writer's room. When are you coming back?" She picked up the sandwich and bit into it.
Taurik watched the dark liquid in the cup and shrugged. "I have not been told." He used it as an excuse for not really listening. He could not just get up and walk away. The full plate of food was evidence that he had not planned on leaving. He pulled the plate closer then continued to eat.
"Taurik, I am actually beginning to like writing."
"M-m-m." He looked around the room then put the fork down again. She wasn't going to be here and he did not know why he was looking for her. Taurik picked up the tray and started towards the recycler. He heard his name called and he turned.
Elvira smiled. "See you later?"
Taurik nodded. He disposed of the plates and food, the tray was put to the side. He decided that he would go for a walk and think. He headed straight towards the back of the caverns and down the stone staircase. He needed some solitude and he knew he would find in the lower levels.
*******
She adjusted the fabric then crossed her legs and closed her eyes. She dropped her head back while she took a few deep breaths then lifted it. Her hands rested one on each knee. She began to find the first stage of meditation then slowly drifted down through the remaining levels.
She found the place where she could examine her own emotions and why she could not control them as she once had. Here was Selek, his light, his warmth of intelligence and his caring of her. And in an equal sense of position was Taurik. And this was what she had to define within herself, where her trust must be kept. Time was monitored but not realized in this state of meditation.
She did not hear anyone coming into the room but she felt his presence. He stood directly behind her. As she opened her eyes she felt his fingertips touch the side of her face.
He pulled back the length of hair then kissed the back of her neck. He lifted the silk length then allowed it to slip through his fingers. He watched it brush the floor as it settled against her back. He ran his hand down the length, clenched his hand in the ends of it then kissed the top of her head. He sat next to her but facing her, his hand rested on the ground in front of her.
"Aitlu." He whispered her name then cleared his throat. He leaned forward and kissed her jaw. He moved back to her ear. "I can't stay away from you." He whispered as he breathed in her scent. He was breaking every rule he had been taught about privacy. He had seen her as he passed the doorway. She had not closed the door fully. He stood and watched her for a time before he moved into the room. That had been his only intention but he could not help but touch her.
She breathed deeply, turned her head slightly then opened her eyes to his. Her body was not fully awake and her reactions were a fraction slower than usual. In another moment she would function at her normal level.
"I tried this last night. I could only think of you." He spoke softly. "I could not clear my mind nor could I concentrate on anything but how you felt next to me."
Her palm rested against the side of his face, her hand feeling the difference between his skin and his beard. She felt the slight pressure as he pressed against her hand gently. She had begun to feel as he did. The draw to one another but she had to know before she committed herself if this was c'thia. She watched as his eyes closed and his face turned slightly to kiss her palm. She felt his body heat from his closeness.
His hand ran up her back then into her hair, onto her neck and then he drew her closer as he leaned forward. He brushed her lips then her soft skin then down her neck. His other hand moved to the clasps on her robe and opened them slowly. There was no denying what he wanted, she wanted it as well. His touch was gentle and slow, giving her time to stop him if she chose to. His lips continued to touch and taste her skin as he moved lower. Her robe was opened slowly. She moved finally, sliding her fingers into the warm silk of his long hair.
He drew in a breath when her hand touched the back of his neck and held it when her lips touched his cheek. Her hands began to slip his robe off his shoulders, the clasps opening easily at her touch. She began to mirror his touches on her body. Along his shoulders as she bared them, his neck, his chest, her hands and her lips felt as if they burned his skin with every touch. He knew this to be perception only but he had never experienced this before.
He slipped his arms out of the robe, the fabric pooling in his lap. His hand brushed her hair back giving him access to her neck, her ear and as his lips brushed against the lobe he heard her moan. His lips brushed her shoulder then moved slowly to her neck. He nuzzled her, resting his lips against the pulse point, her throat was warm and he had to stop himself from biting her. He shifted his position slightly, his knees spread as he moved closer to her side. He cupped her breast, his thumb brushing across the nipple.
T'Aitlu arched her back, her breathing was deep and slow as he continued his teasing. Her body shivered and she crossed her arms under her breasts. She dropped back her head... she whispered, "This can not be..." She felt the tears tickle her face.
Taurik continued to tease her nipples as he kissed her neck then tasted her lips. He was not going to give in to her words this time nor was he going to offer her a way out. His hand caressed her neck, shoulder and down her arm. He straightened it with his caress and whispered to her that her skin was soft and warm. First with his palm and then with the back of his hand. His fingers caressed hers... slowly, memorizing each part of her. He lifted her chin brushed his lips across hers. "Fantasy." He spoke against her lips. "It is all a fantasy..." His fingers trailed down her throat then down to her waist then he wrapped an arm around her. His other hand brushed back her hair then rested against the back of her neck.
She leaned against him, all of this was more than her senses could handle. "What is a fantasy...?" Her eyes closed as his lips and soft beard brushed her cheek. She heard herself moan.
"Your insistence that this is not desired by you." He lifted his chin, her head rested against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. He stroked her hair, content for the moment with her like this.
Taurik heard the footfalls of hurried steps.
"Vulcan. If you are hiding down here to avoid work..." Salatrel swung into the room and stopped dead. Her eyes went wide for a second then turned away but did not leave. She held her breath wondering what she should do. "Oh, what have I done?" she whispered to herself.
"Were you referring to myself or Taurik."
Salatrel turned cautious of the greeting. She was shocked, had she come in to see this scene now, she would not have suspected anything between them. Their composure was one of Vulcan calm and perfection. "Well, Vorik is looking for you." She looked to Taurik. "S'haile had asked if I had seen you. He has returned early."
"Then I will go directly." T'Aitlu stated as she breezed passed Salatrel.
Salatrel looked to Taurik.
"Don't say it." He moved to the candle and the incense and blew out the candle and stirred the incense powder until it stopped burning.
Salatrel watched him for a moment. "Vorik is concerned." She was breaking a confidence but for this it was required. "He said your link with him has changed."
Taurik drew in a slow breath. "Really." He stated flatly.
"He isn't hurt by it just concerned."
"And your concern?"
"Her loyalites are divided."
Taurik nodded. "I had noticed." He sounded almost sarcastic. He looked down at the fooring. "I find my own loyalties... divided as well."
"How so?" Salatrel moved closer to him. Deep friendships had been formed since their arrival here. She did not reside here as the others did yet she never was made to feel any different.
"I serve the TaskMaster." He stated calmly then he paused. "How do I take from him that which he has claimed?"
"Has he?"
"You know he has." Taurik smiled then the smile faded. "Maybe not formally but she is his."
"She was bonded once." Salatrel added unsure why exactly.
"M-m-m. I remember the mention of it." He moved to where she had discarded her everyday robe. He picked it up, refolded it then draped it over his arm. "I will leave this in her chambers then I will be in the records room." He shivered, his body had not quite rid itself of its arousal.
He bowed his head. "Illhei, I will take my leave." He took one step back then headed out of the room.
Salatrel sighed and looked to the mat where she had first see them. She had hardly recognized them, so much passion was evident on their faces and in the next instant was gone. She checked the incense again then headed out of the room, but before closing the door she looked back and wondered about what might have happened had she not disturbed them.
********
"I wish to attend Gol for a time." She had not met his eyes directly since entering the office. She had greeted him, accepted his embrace and whispered how pleased she was that he had returned. Then had asked for his leave and stated that she wished to attend Gol.
"I understand the words. I wish to understand the reason."
"I feel the need for the... guidance." She had almost said separation, or even solitude, both she could find here if she wished to. She had earned that much in the years she had served.
"And the reason for this... guidance."
T'Aitlu had really hoped that he would merely accept her word and not delve too deeply into the reasons behind her request. "It is the constant exposure to the emotions and passions of the kitausu. The Terran and Deltans have been most difficult for me to deal with as of late."
"I can re-assign you to others." He offered. There was something she was not saying. He could see that in her face. She was not pleased with his suggestion.
"This would be for only a short time, S'haile."
"Define short."
She looked at him under lowered eyes. "I wish to go. I need to go."
There was a quick knock and then the door opened. "S'haile... I wanted to ask..." Taurik stopped. He had been unaware of Selek's visitor.
"Can it wait?" Selek asked.
"Yes." He looked to T'Aitlu then back to Selek. Neither of them looked comfortable. He bowed his head then backed out of the room.
"How long?" Selek stood moving to stand in front of her.
"A tenday cycle." She spoke softly, something she did not normally do.
He folded his arms as he watched her trying to decifer this mood of hers. "I would trust that we can manage without your for that long."
"I will take your leave, S'haile." She bowed her head and left the office then quickened her steps on the way towards her chamber.
Selek had stepped out of his office just after T'Aitlu and into the writers chamber. She was no where to be seen. He looked to Taurik who was busy with Salatrel both deep in conversation. Taurik looked up then nodded to Selek.
Taurik excused himself then went towards Selek. "I wanted to speak with you about someone that could help in cataloguing the remaining books."
Selek nodded. "I assumed you will need the help." He looked to the room of kitausu. "I would suggest Salatrel."
"I do not think she would care to be reassigned to the library. She prefers to work here."
"Well for the ten days she can work with you." Selek headed back into his office then turned back. "Actually I will need her here with T'Aitlu gone. Vorik can help you for now."
Taurik bowed his head. "Gone?" He stated softly enough that no one else heard him, or so he thought.
Vorik stood beside Taurik. "Gone? Who or what will be gone?" He held a few of the books that had been repaired.
Taurik turned to face him, "What?"
"You said 'gone'. I asked you who would be gone."
Taurik nodded. "I will be right back."
Vorik sighed his hands slapped his legs. "Why am I not surprised by this?" He dropped back his head and sighed again, his brother may be the more logical one but when it came to relationships he was a scatterbrain.
*******
"What are you doing?" He crossed the room to her side.
"I did not give you permission to enter." She placed the last of the items in a seldom used bag. It was only half filled and she had placed everything she had owned in it. She took the bag and placed it near the door.
"You were going to leave without a word?"
"I was not aware that I required your leave."
Taurik held his breath. "You don't." He felt the ache of missing her. He released his breath slowly then bowed his head. He turned on his heel and headed back to his office.
T'Aitlu sat slowly on the bed. She could not choose, so she was leaving. Whether or not she would return was undecided.
*******
She slipped off her robe then hung it on the hook provided. She moved into the warm water found a quiet place and sat on the naturally made seating. She closed her eyes and found a state of meditation easily, more easily than she had in years. She also felt some peace, again something she had not felt in a long time.
She remained here for some time then just before the second hourly tone sounded, she pulled herself out of the pool. She reached to her robe and slipped it on, her wet hair was pulled out from underneath.
Her time with the Masters had helped but only to a point, no one could make the decisions for her nor give her a way to choose. Logic would not work in this instance.
She was due to return to the SweatShop the following day. She hesitated in her movements then decided to contact S'haile Selek.
She obtained permission for the use of the communication unit and then sat and stared at it for a moment or two. Was she ready to return? Would she be able to deal with returning? She opened the frequency needed then waited for the response.
"Selek." His voice was heard a second before his image became visible. "Aitlu." The slight smile appeared and then disappeared from his lips. "Calling to let us know when you will be arriving, I trust?"
She drew in a breath. She missed him so very much. He knew that she had not been totally honest with him about her desires. "S'haile. You are well I trust."
"As well as I can be in your absence." He leaned back in his chair as he did when he was concerned. His hand waved someone away and the sound of the door closing reached the pick-up. He drew in a breath and lifted his chin slightly. "You are not returning."
"I do not know." She spoke barely above a whisper. She stopped her hand from touching the screen that held his image. She watched as he brought his hands together and folded them. She knew he had rested his elbows on the arm of the chair. "I thought I would know. I thought..." Her words caught in her throat. The aching was still in her chest.
"Have I done anything to offend?" He watched as she shook her head, her hair brushed against the fabric of her robe with the action. He took a breath. "Are you coming back?" His hands clenched with the question.
"I want to." There that was something. She sighed. She brushed back her hair over her shoulder.
"What is stopping you?" Selek had managed a few discreet inquiries and was beginning to get a feel of what the possibilities were. He was still not totally clear on matters.
"I am not certain, S'haile." She realized that her answers would not be found here either. "I will be on the next transport. I will arrive by nightfall."
"If that is your wish. I will look forward to your return." Selek paused for a moment. "I have arrange it so that you may return to work in the old library... if you choose to."
She bowed her head. She would be separated from both of them if she accepted the position. Perhaps that was the way to handle matters for the present. "I should arrive by evening meal."
"I will be looking forward to it."
She closed the frequency and headed off to prepare for her trip home.
************
Salarel stepped into the office. "It was Aitlu?"
Selek nodded.
"Is she returning?"
He lifted an eyebrow at her question. "Why would she not?" That was the question he needed an answer for and until he had it, he didn't know what to do.
Salatrel looked down to the floor then back to Selek. "Because she is not one that can live the way she has. Because she needs a place that is her own."
"She has a place." Selek stated defensively. "All she has to do is asked and I will see to her needs."
"But she has needs that are not being met."
"She has not told me what those needs are. How can you know if they can not be met if they are not known." He stated calmly.
"S'haile,.." Salatrel leaned back in the chair. "What of her need to have someone that is hers." She hesitated. "A bondmate."
Selek sighed. He leaned on the desk, his hand clasped together one around the other, he rested his mouth against his fists. "Some things are beyond what I wish them to be."
Salatrel watched this man for a moment. "And what is she to do with that need to belong? How does she cope, as she did this last time?" She shook her head slowly. "It is not good for her, S'haile."
He sat back in the chair, then leaned back with his eyes closed. His hands rested curled tightly around the ends of the armrest. "I am doing all I can. All I am permitted to."
"S'haile, I fear that it may not be enough." She spoke softly then drew in a breath.
Selek looked to the terminal and then to his collection of slates to be gone through. He reached for one and dropped it into the reader then looked to the Rihansu. "I fear the same. But I do not have an answer."
*********
She braced herself against the possibility of a waiting welcoming party and was very releved that there wasn't one. She headed straight for the office. She placed her bag down then knocked on the door.
"Come." His voice stated in a somewhat preoccupied tone.
She opened the door. He was sitting reading and his annoyance was evident on his face. "Poor plot?"
"No." He stood then came around the desk to stand in front of her. "Lots of errors." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "You were missed." He held her a little tighter then kissed her neck. "Did you enjoy your break from us?" He was teasing her now.
"I believe so." She had wrapped her arms around him and returned the pressure of the hug. "The most pleasurable part was the time I had to read."
"And what did you read?"
"All of the stories that have been written here in the past few months that I have not had time to read." She moved fom his tight hold but remained with her hands resting in his.
His thumbs moved across the back of her hands. "I have a few more slates to finish and then if you are hungry we could talk over end-meal."
"I will unpack and then return here."
He nodded then released her hands. He watched her start out the door then called to her. "T'Aitlu." He waited for her to turn to face him. "It is most pleasing that you have returned."
Her head bowed. "I am honoured, Shaile."
***********
"Come." She turned to greet her visitor. "You remained late?" She was aware that Salatrel did not reside here as the others did.
"S'haile said you were returning. I wished to welcome you back before I left for the day." She stepped closer to the Vulcan. "Your presence has been missed."
T'Aitlu bowed her head. "I am honoured." She reached out a hand to hold the Rihansu's. "The TaskMaster said you functioned well as his right hand."
"I could not replace you." She stepped closer. "He missed you a great deal and has been questioning anyone that had any type of answer to any of his inqiries."
"Inquires?"
"As to why you had to leave..." Salatrel noted the look on her face. "I told him nothing more than he already knew."
"I am sharing end-meal with him." She considered that he would be full of subtle inquiries.
"I have to go. I will be in early and we can talk then." Salatrel moved closer and kissed the Vulcan's cheek. "Take care. And you can call me if you need to."
"Yes. I am aware." T'Aitlu watched as the Rihansu left. She sighed then went over and sat on the edge of her bed. She wished that she had not accepted Selek's invitation to share dinner, she wished to be alone.
She slipped out of the robe that she had been wearing and slipped on one that was cooler and more to Selek's taste. She then re-braided her hair and headed back to the office.
***********
There had been spaces of silence where none had ever been, even when they were beginning to learn about one another.
Selek leaned back in his chair and toyed with the wine glass. He was uncertain as to what to say to her. He had never felt so lost in her presence. He cleared his throat. "What has happened?"
T'Aitlu lowered her eyes for a moment, she had been aware of their awkwardness as well. "I am not certain." Her glass of wine had remained untouched and her meal had been half eaten and poked at.
Selek stood. "Come, perhaps some time in front of the fire and conversation will help matters." He offered her his hand.
T'Aitlu stood, her hand slipped into his and they walked to the large armchair they usually enjoyed. She sat down beside him as he slipped his arms around her. This was... familiar.
"Better?" Selek whispered close to her ear as he brushed aside her hair to kiss the back of her neck.
"Yes." She stated.
They stared at the flames, their hands caressing the other's arms but nothing more. The silence between them seemed unending.
Selek lifted her hand to his lips, brushed the back then turned her hand to kiss her palm. "Something has changed, T'hy'la." He closed his eyes as his lips touched her hair and her hand moved to the side of his face. The mental contact that he was expecting did not happen. Her hand caressed his face then slipped down to rest in her lap. His fingers caressed the back of her hand. "Have I done anything to have caused this?"
"No, S'haile. It is not you." She turned in his arms to face him. "It is entirely my lack of response. I do not quite understand it myself." She studied his eyes and his face. She caressed his face and bit her lip as his eyes closed slowly. "I need solitude at the moment."
Selek drew in a deep breath. "As you wish." He released any hold he had on her then watched as she stood. He wanted to take her and hold her tightly until she responed to him again. He stood. "If you need to talk..."
She bowed her head. "Yes, S'haile."
She turned and left the chambers and headed to her own directly under hers. She moved quickly at first and then her pace slowed when she reached her quarters.
***********
She turned onto her side facing away from the doorway and adjusted the covers, she stared at the collection of old style books that dominated the wall. Mostly copies of her favourite stories collected over the years that she remained here.
She heard the soft knock on the door, she turned then sat up and reached for the small blanket that was folded at the foot of her bed. She wrapped it around her shoulders then moved into the common room. "Enter."
The door opened slowly and then a head peeked around the door. "May we talk?"
She bowed her head to him.
"I could not sleep." He stood awkwardly, shifting slightly as he continued. "You and I are connected somehow, T'sai and I wish to investigate this further."
"I do not understand, Taurik, investigate what?" She noted that his robe had not been fastened properly and that he wore an extremely light weight pants and top under it. It was obvious that he had rushed here without regard for his manner of dress. As he moved his hands to clasp behind him, his robe opened even more.
"I caused you to leave."
T'Aitlu shook her head then shivered slightly. "No you did not."
"If I had not been with you then you would not have felt the desire to leave." He stepped closer to her.
"If I had not turned to you when Selek was not here then I would not have felt the desire to leave."
Taurik watched her for a moment. He closed his eyes and clenched his hands for a second or two and when he opened them, he caught her shivering. He seemingly with one motion, reached to his robe, slipped it off and had it around her shoulders. "Why do you not move your quarters to a warmer one?"
"Because this is mine." She looked at him for a moment. "Go find one that is your age."
Taurik lifted an eyebrow. "My age?" He hesitated staring at her. "What does my age have to do with..."
"Yes, your age." T'Aitlu brushed her hair back over her shoulder, aware for the first time how much grey had crept into its darkness. "One to be with... that can be yours." She sighed. She slippd the robes off her shoulder and handed then to him. "One that is not... pre-occupied."
Taurik accepted the robes silently, he held them gathered in one hand. He frowned. "I do not understand to what you are referring?" He took a step towards her. "I feel the draw, Aitlu. I feel you deep in my thoughts."
She shook her head. "You do not."
Taurik drew in a breath then released it. "I know how I feel." He tossed his robes onto the near-by chair. He reached out to her and held her shoulders. "I want to be with you. Not another. Not one younger.. or smarter... or anything." He lifted her chin and met her eyes. "We shared much."
"Too much..." She whispered as her breathing deepened. "I am capable of handling this. I am a full grown woman that has learned over the years how to cope with the aloneness of living here."
"But now I offer you a choice." He stepped closer. "A choice that *I* want." He drew in a long and unsteady breath. His hand ran through her hair and in his other hand he felt her shiver. He watched as she shook her head. "I have wanted you for a great deal of time." He moved closer, he could feel the warmth from her body. Her eyes closed. "Tell me that you do not desire my touch." His hand brushed back her head exposing her neck. He brushed his lips against her skin then breathed in her scent. One arm went around her and he held her face gently then kissed her jaw. "Tell me, Aitlu. Tell me..." He tasted her skin with the tip of his tongue. "... I will leave. I will leave here..." another taste, "...and never speak with you again." The next taste turned into a kiss and then he waited and watched her face.
"It is not a choice..." She swallowed then wet her lips. "... that I am permitted to make." Taurik held her closer to him pressing himself along her body. "That I should... not make."
"Why not?" He whispered against her mouth. "Tell me." He held her tightly as his fingers moved to touch her thoughts.
She drew in a long breath then stepped back from him, unsteady. "Because I am Kitausu. You are a Master-in-training." She smiled slightly, her fingers lifted his chin slightly. "You will be an excellent TaskMaster." She dropped her hand to the blanket, pulling it back around her shoulders. "Go. Rest."
Taurik stared at her. "That is all you have to say? Rest?" He reached to his robe and slipped it on. He glanced at her as he turned to go and caught the tears in her eyes. "Why do you do this? Deny yourself?"
"I know my place." She swallowed hard. The tears were flowing down her face. "My place is here. Alone."
Taurik took a step closer to her. "But the nights that we have shared..."
"I do not know, Taurik." She wanted him to drop this and go and get some rest, so that she could rest.
His hands went to her shoulder then pulled her close. He wrapped his arms around her. He stroked her head and back a few times, then moved her hair... he held her. "Let me tuck you in. I won't stay." He added quickly. He was guiding her into her room now. The covers on her bed were drawn back and he fluffed the pillow.
She shook her head slightly. "Taurik..."
"I will leave you to rest for tonight." He tapped the bed then stepped aside as she climbed in. He pulled the covers up over her shoulder then reached over and tucked everything in tightly around her. He kissed her cheek then backed out of the room. "Rest well."
T'Aitlu nodded.
********
He had been reading for maybe five minutes and there was a light knock on the door. "Come."
He looked up and was delightlfully surprised at his visitor. "Aitlu." He waved her to join him, as they often did.
She hesitated. "I heard you up and I was concerned." She fastened the last of the clasps on her robe. She brushed her hair back over her shoulders.
"Just my usual bout of insomnia." He tapped the chair beside him. "Room for two, as usual." He reached and poured a cup of tea for her. "You can not turn down tea that has been poured for you..."
T'Aitlu nodded then sat beside him, her feet up on the large hassock he was using and she thanked him for the tea.
Selek looked down at her attempts at keeping her feet covered. He reached for the blanket they often used and covered her feet with it. "You have soft shoes."
"I was in a hurry to..."
"T'Aitlu." He interupted then thought better of it. "Next time remember your shoes."
"Yes, S'haile." She drank the tea as he read, not an uncommon situation but one that was usually accompanied by some discussion. She finished the tea then stood.
Selek looked up at her. "You are leaving..?"
She nodded but did not seem sure of herself. She bowed her head."I will return to my room."
"As you wish." He watched her leave then looked to the tea cup and then to the blanket laying on the hassock. He pushed the reader out of his way then slipped on his shoes. He suspected that she had not returned to her room, but where she would be was another matter.
********
She should not have gone to Selek's room. It was not her place, not her true place. If another had been in her position, the other would have been chosen. She stopped to straightened out a few books. She sighed then looked around, there were not too many awake at this time. There were some, as well as a few guests. She was pleased to see the guests again. It added to the feel of the rooms, especially the reading and achive rooms. More things to occupy one's mind with as well. Protocols to be monitored and the business of monitoring the younger kitausa.
She sighed again. She noticed a book out of place, pulled it down then stepped back into someone. She turned suddenly prepared to appologise. "S'haile? Forgive the misstep."
He waved his concern away. "You were not aware of my precense." He took the volume from her arms and place it haphazardly on the shelf. "Why are you here?"
"I could not sleep."
"Did you try?"
Her eyebrow raised. "I am not a child."
"No you are not." He said in a sigh.
She folded her arms and looked past him to the shelves of books behind him. She felt him move the hem of her robe.
"No shoes?" He lifted an eyebrow then tilted his head. He reached out and lifted her chin. "What is it?"
"If I knew I would know the solution." She moved her chin.
"Then what is the problem?" Selek rested against the arm of the chair behind him. He folded his arms and studied her. He waited for a moment. "I can not help if I do not know what it is."
"S'haile, it is not something that is easy to explain..."
"I have all night."
She looked to the ground, the pattern etched in the stone was wearing. "It is being... alone."
Selek swallowed. "I gather that you do not mean the general company."
"No."
"A specific alonenesss."
"Yes." She looke off into the rest of the room.
"One that comes from not having a bondmate."
"Not precisely. More as one would feel after loosing a bondmate." She looked to her feet, they were cold, but at least she felt something other than this aching. She drew in a breath. "Now you can go to bed."
"Aitlu. I wish to help."
"You do."
"But only for the moment."
"Are you offering more?" She turned back to him and met his eyes. "Of course you aren't. You can't." She took a step from him but his hand stopped her. She looked to her arm where his hand was.
"What of Taurik?"
She looked to him. "Taurik?" She sighed then turned back to him. "Taurik is..." She shook her head. "I could not do that to him."
"Do what to him?" Selek lifted her chin.
She closed her eyes as she bit her bottom lip.
"He would be honoured to be..."
"Selek,..." She went silent.
He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. He held her, resting his lips on the top of her head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
T'Aitlu held onto his body. She heard herself moan softly then whisper his name. This would be her undoing. She had resigned herself to that now. She could not separate herself from him. Mind or body. She felt his fingers touch her face and his thoughts melted into hers. She wanted him.
She felt her body being lifted then carried over to the bed, his knee rested on the bed and he placed her down. His warm hands ran along her body over her sleep gown. He lay down beside her and then drew her into his arms.
She felt her head move and then her mouth reach to brush his neck. Her hand rested against his face and then her mouth covered his. She moaned and felt his arms tighten around her.
It was not that she did not want him, it was that she wanted to be sure of his commitment. Her first bondmate was neutral concerning most matters. No passion. No desire. She could not live like that again. Passions drew her here, her ability to write gave her a place but she had no one.
Selek, as pleasurable as he was, was not hers. He was her t'hy'la, as she was his... but not bond-mates in the truest sense of the word. Bond-servant would be more accurate. They served a bond of frienship, and served each other with pleasure and desires that at times were unequalled.
But Taurik....
Her hand finally reached to him, her hand rested at his waist and she held him tightly. She heard him whisper her name and tell her how long he had waited for this. How much he desired this. How he wanted to have her from the moment they had met.
Her hand slipped under the fabric of his top. It was a light almost sheer fabric. Most of the sleepwear was fashioned from this fabric. She ran her hand up his side then over his shoulder and rested her hand at the base of his neck, feeling his pulse racing.
He moved away from her just long enough to slip his top off then he rolled back to her. His mouth captured hers as he pulled her close then his tongue ran along her lips. His hands began to run along her body feeling the curves and the warmth. He lifted his leg then laid it across her hips, pressing himself against her hip.
T'Aitlu felt his breath against her neck and his hardness against her hip. She moaned at even the thought of him. He called to her twice before she had the control to answer him.
"Ah." She whispered.
"I desire a bond, T'hy'la." Taurik spoke softly but clearly, close to her ear as he nuzzled her neck.
"A bond?" She moved away slightly then stared at him. She swallowed then closed her eyes. His gently kisses continued. Her hand slowly moved up his arm and along his shoulder then into his hair, her fingers curled into it then drew him close. She wanted his touch. His kisses. She wanted him to melt into her thoughts and to remain there ... but there was Selek. She rested her lips against his shoulder, thinking.
"T'hy'la?" He moved then lifted her chin so that he could meet her eyes with his. He stared at them, they were dark, darker than he had seen them before. Hid tongue reached out to touch her lips. "Tell me. Tell me that we can do this."
She nodded slowly then wet her lips and whispered her agreement.
"As it was at the dawn of time, is now and forever will be... I Taurik cha t'Niris Colony offer my life as yours, at the appointed place and time. Bonded to you through life and death, answer me now." He held his breath waiting, hoping that she would agree formally.
"As it was in the beginning is now and will be for all time. I, T'Aitlu cha Kelek t'Sudoc, accept at the appointed time and place thy life as mine. Bonded through life and death." It was now up to her either she could ask him to wait by stating a date or accept him now. "I await thee."
Taurik breathed in deeply. He pulled her closer to him then moved onto his knees, straddling her. His fingers moved into position on either side of her face. He felt her fingertips touch him. "You are certain."
"I am." She allowed her barriers to drop as she reached onto his thoughts. Their movements causing an intertwining of their thoughts and their very being. Locked together until death and beyond. She felt his joy and his passion and she shared hers.
So warm! Taurik felt the passions long hidden from him, her every thought and experience open to him if he chose to share it. He caressed her mind, revelling in her as she became a part of him.
She felt his fire. His passions that would wrap around her and warm her forever. She felt his hands along her body as he discovered the shared passions. Her hands roamed over his body then slipped under the loose pants he still wore. She slipped them down and he kicked them off.
She felt his hands at her throat then down to the neck of her gown. She heard the tearing of the fabric and felt the coolness of the air as it touched her. Her body was suddenly ready for whatever he wished.
Taurik brushed his lips along her jaw then her neck. He tasted the skin at her shoulder then moved lower. His mouth took in the soft swell of her breast, he marked her. Her arms wrapped tightly around him and she moaned.
She felt his body move into position and then he entered her slowly. Her hands clenched and her body tensed at the suddenness of it. She rested her mouth against his neck then whispered for him to move slowly.
His body began to move slowly and then as the movements became smoother and easier for Aitlu, he reached into her thoughts to the very core of her. His forehead rested against hers. He reacted to her fingertips touching his face and his movements slowed. Their minds moved in to one another's. Teasing touches, caresses and a depth of sharing that was only possible between bondmates.
In the office, Selek was reading. His concentration was broken and he moaned then leaned back in the chair with a sigh.
Salatrel was just entering the office and noticed the colour drain from his face. "I will get T'Aitlu..." Vulcans were still a mystery to her in many ways.
"No." He called out softly. "It is not necessary." He closed his eyes and grieved the loss of his... what? She was not his bond-mate, but not much less. She was t'hy'la but more. "A moment and I will be fine."
"Tea, S'haile?" Salatrel asked quietly. "Or some Romulan ale?" She smiled slightly.
"Just some brandy." He motioned towards the well stocked bar hidden off in the far corner. He rested his head against the back of the chair and sighed. He felt the glass being put into his hand and Salatrel's as it wrapped around his ensuring he had the glass. "Yes I have it." He drank it in one mouthful then placed the glass on the desk. When he looked towards Salatrel, she was sitting and had a concerned look on her face. "I have been working for too long." He sat up slightly. "Care to join me for a walk in the garden?"
She did not want to leave him alone for the moment. "If you wish I can get T'Aitlu?"
He shook his head. "She is occupied." He did not add anything further. Tomorrow would be a difficult day for everyone as the news was shared.
Selek stood unsteady for a moment then walked around the desk. He motioned for Salatrel to join him. They walked along the corridor that led to the large formal garden. They talked along the way of the happenings during the day and some of the plans for the next few days.
The usual path was avoided and Salatrel looked up to the window that was Aitlu's, she wondered what that Vulcan could be doing that Selek would not bother her about. He loved bothering her and upsetting all of her plans constantly. They began to walk along a path that took them away from the castle.
She looked to Selek just before the absolute darkness covered them, he seemed a little lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FIN
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