Paper: "Just Me and O. b."

10/13/01

By this point, I think there are a lot of people who'd just LOVE to be alone in a room for a little visit with our dear Osama b. Laden. Some might fantasize about taking a chainsaw in to meet him; others, a submachine gun. And still others, those I like to call his greatest victims, might want to take their book of autographs. But for myself, I'd like to take some sort of instant language translator machine, or at least a good two years of whatever language bin Laden speaks. Osama, I have a few questions to ask you...

First, if it is Allah's will that suicide bombers attack the U.S., then why do you seek to AVOID death so desperately yourself? Or do you only seek to avoid certain kinds of death? If so, I suspect a lot of people would be all to glad to give you plenty of options.

Second, how do you know that it IS Allah's will to kill Americans? (For why else would you call this a holy war?) Maybe you wish to make a statement... while I cannot agree with your methods, I must advise you (out of my fraternal love for fellow beings) that you'd have a better chance of bringing whatever injustices America has done (and I'm sure there're plenty) into the public eye by writing a best-seller explaining your case. Then again, maybe Allah has spoken directly to you... watch out, then, for Americans seem to think that God has spoken to President Bush, urging him to lay the smack down on your head (which goes against the principals of our religion, just as the oxymoronical 'holy war' that you have declared must surely go against your own. Funny how these things work out.)

Lastly, what's your motivation? Why kill Americans rather than negotiate with them (as ineffective as this may seem at times)? Do you want power for yourself, or do you truly BELIEVE you're doing the right thing? Terrorism is not a terribly effective means of making a lasting difference (at least, not in a GOOD way), just like war and, in fact, ANY form of killing. A widely-held ideology is like the immortal souls that both of our religions presumably believe in... you can kill people in the physical sense, but the ideology or soul remains (and may even grow stronger from the experience... note that I use the word 'stronger' in two different senses here corresponding to the two sides of the metaphor). American patriotism has gone way up since the attacks, even if it's sometimes in a somewhat shallow way... so if you really want to make a difference in how we think, you'd do better to challenge our ideologies directly.

Just as I'm trying to do here.